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Airmail109
03-31-2006, 01:42 PM
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Airmail109
03-31-2006, 01:42 PM
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Dean3238
03-31-2006, 02:02 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

I have three cats willing, ready and able to volunteer for the prototype.

&lt;signed&gt;
The Dog

widdershins
03-31-2006, 02:20 PM
Like this?

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/1815/cats8vw.gif

//I didn't make it... it was made by a somethingawful.com goon

Megile_
03-31-2006, 02:24 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

Divine-Wind
03-31-2006, 02:34 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Brilliant! What will we think of next? Motion sickness pills, for those who hate not getting airsick?

Capt.LoneRanger
03-31-2006, 02:53 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

danjama
03-31-2006, 04:08 PM
Smartest thing ive ever heard you say Tom http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Lodovik
03-31-2006, 04:09 PM
You silly, silly persons...
It's a know F.A.C.T(tm) that in this case Murphys Law will automatically kick in, the toast will catch a bundle of airborne dust and other debris on the buttered side, rendering it unedible. Simultaneously, the cat will smell microscopic particles of ripe catnip, sending him/her into a terminal tailspin. Both the toast and the cat will land on their side. Do not try this at your home.

turnipkiller
03-31-2006, 05:18 PM
From the Unofficial Mythbusters Episode Guide website. (For those who don't know Mythbusters is a show on Discovery channel, which actually is pretty cool. Lots of smashing things etc.) http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif

"Buttered Toast: which side does it fall on?

There were two things being tested here:

1. If buttered toast falls off the table, does it prefer to land butter side down
2. If a buttered toast falls through the air, which side does it prefer to fall on?

First (Adam's) rig: Adam's rig most closely replicated a piece of toast falling off of a table top. Testing with a control sample of unbuttered test, the dominant behavior was for the toast to flip once and land top side down. They didn't need to do any more testing with actual buttered toast, as the rig clearly had a bias.

Second (Jamie's) rig: Jamie's rig tested whether or not, all things being equal, which side toast prefers to fall on. It shoots toast straight down.

With control sample testing, toast kept landing down. Once again they were statistically challenged, as they stopped after 10 samples. They determined that 3 ups and 7 downs was enough to show a clear down bias, and once again, if just one of those had been different, they it would have been 4 ups and 6 downs, which doesn't seem biased at all.

Third rig: based on Jamie's original design, but with way more over-engineering to be more automated, regular, and MythBuster-y. A conveyer belt toaster dropped the toast off onto a second conveyer belt that carried toast over to Adam, who marked the toast and loaded it into a dropper that was then released with a switch.

* 11 up and 13 down with control sample
* 12 up and 12 down with buttered sample

They determined this to be "less biased", so they then brought it to the roof of MythBusters HQ. From the top of the roof:

* 26 up and 22 down with control sample
* 29 up and 19 down with buttered sample

Jamie's theory was that for a lot of the buttered toast that landed butter side up, the buttered side was pressed in, forming a cup that affected the way the toast dropped. Regardless:

Myth Busted"

Waldo.Pepper
03-31-2006, 07:53 PM
Funniest thread in a month!
I give it five VHAPS.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Divine-Wind
03-31-2006, 08:00 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by turnipkiller:
From the Unofficial Mythbusters Episode Guide website. (For those who don't know Mythbusters is a show on Discovery channel, which actually is pretty cool. Lots of smashing things etc.) http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif

"Buttered Toast: which side does it fall on?

There were two things being tested here:

1. If buttered toast falls off the table, does it prefer to land butter side down
2. If a buttered toast falls through the air, which side does it prefer to fall on?

First (Adam's) rig: Adam's rig most closely replicated a piece of toast falling off of a table top. Testing with a control sample of unbuttered test, the dominant behavior was for the toast to flip once and land top side down. They didn't need to do any more testing with actual buttered toast, as the rig clearly had a bias.

Second (Jamie's) rig: Jamie's rig tested whether or not, all things being equal, which side toast prefers to fall on. It shoots toast straight down.

With control sample testing, toast kept landing down. Once again they were statistically challenged, as they stopped after 10 samples. They determined that 3 ups and 7 downs was enough to show a clear down bias, and once again, if just one of those had been different, they it would have been 4 ups and 6 downs, which doesn't seem biased at all.

Third rig: based on Jamie's original design, but with way more over-engineering to be more automated, regular, and MythBuster-y. A conveyer belt toaster dropped the toast off onto a second conveyer belt that carried toast over to Adam, who marked the toast and loaded it into a dropper that was then released with a switch.

* 11 up and 13 down with control sample
* 12 up and 12 down with buttered sample

They determined this to be "less biased", so they then brought it to the roof of MythBusters HQ. From the top of the roof:

* 26 up and 22 down with control sample
* 29 up and 19 down with buttered sample

Jamie's theory was that for a lot of the buttered toast that landed butter side up, the buttered side was pressed in, forming a cup that affected the way the toast dropped. Regardless:

Myth Busted" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh man, I wish I could've seen that. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

AKA_TAGERT
03-31-2006, 08:02 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by widdershins:
Like this?

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/1815/cats8vw.gif

//I didn't make it... it was made by a somethingawful.com goon </div></BLOCKQUOTE>ROTFL! What do you know raid was right!

polak5
03-31-2006, 08:22 PM
I diddint see that mythbusters.
Nice idea lets get some cats!

M2morris
03-31-2006, 09:32 PM
To fully constabulate the conductivity of the predetermined afforementioned theory of feline molecular relativity to bovine produced edible products making contact with a starched-plane; one must first interconnect the relationship of sub atomic enertia which may effect the property of matter by which it remains in uniform motion unless acted upon external force to enduce a magnetic flux of a symetrical and significant nature sufficient enough to cause rotation in all equal units of mamal, dairy products, and wheat, with a further convective ability to recognize the bovine defication contained in this response.

RocketRobin__
04-01-2006, 01:46 AM
Anti-gravity cats are fine and dandy, but the purpose of transportaion is not to simply hover over the place you started from. One must be able to move from a point of origin to another place, in order for transportation to ocurr. This cannot be accomplished using frictionless felines alone. Ergo, if a carriage is supported by four anti-gravity felines it must be towed by a team of caninies, which have their paws firmly planted on terrafirma.
The final piece to this puzzle would be a team of no less than twenty-four bichon-frise doggies, which are unlikely to give chase to spinning felines. A carriage of this type could transport up to four passengers at the dizzying rate of thirteen kilometers per hour, with sprints of nearly fourty kilometers per hour.
Reliability would be excellent, except in the presence of rodentia. If the lead doggie spotted a squirrel, or bunny rabbit, then all hell will break loose.

HotelBushranger
04-01-2006, 03:15 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Great thread!

reverendkrv1972
04-01-2006, 06:27 AM
Quality Tom m8! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

now where's my moggy gone? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

heywooood
04-01-2006, 11:11 AM
naw - that would create an unbalanced wobble - everyone kmows english toast weighs more than a cat...you're going to create a wormhole with that.

You have to staple two cats together back to back , and they must be of equal size and weight.

LEBillfish
04-01-2006, 11:20 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by heywooood:
naw - that would create an unbalanced wobble - everyone kmows english toast weighs more than a cat...you're going to create a wormhole with that.

You have to staple two cats together back to back , and they must be of equal size and weight. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is by far the most rediculous and incorrect thing I have ever heard. First off, if one cat lands feet down the other is still in the air, so the direction of its feet don't matter.

You must duct tape them foot to foot so only their backs are exposed on the perimeter....Now you have anti gravity.

As to the wormhole you can try the test more simply.....Toast butter to butter side makes anti-gravity, However butter side out on each then creates the compressive force much like a star collapsing as the top piece tries to drive through the other......The combination of shearing and compression should give you the result you seek.....

I think http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

heywooood
04-01-2006, 12:11 PM
Duct tape eh?....foot to foot you say?...backs exposed...purrrimeter...hmmmm....

you just might be onto something there, Bilfish...like any feller I like the odd bit of shearing and compression now and then...with the right kitten... I accept your offer.

Dean3238
04-01-2006, 02:25 PM
Hmmm... thinking through these anti-gravity devices...

The solution is either bread with butter on both sides or bread with no butter at all.

In the first case, both butter sides will be trying to land, resulting in the spinning anti-gravity cat-butter bread effect w/o the worm hole potential.

Without butter at all, neither side will want to land, so no matter how it approaches the ground, it will just stop and float.

I suggest we cover a volunteer from head to toe with plain bread and chuck him out of an aircraft to see if it works.

In any event, I would like to stay away from the angry cat, spitting mad, with claws and fangs issue.

~S~ &lt;great thread&gt;
Dean

Wild.Bill.Kelso
04-01-2006, 03:02 PM
The TV Show Mythbusters did a test as to whether buttered toast falls butter side down or not.

http://reagle.org/joseph/blog/technology/mythbusters-toast

Jatro13th
04-01-2006, 07:20 PM
These guys didn't take into account the fact that the chance of a buttered toast to fall with its buttered side down is proportional to the VALUE OF THE RUG on which it falls!

Siwarrior
04-01-2006, 10:39 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by M2morris:
To fully constabulate the conductivity of the predetermined afforementioned theory of feline molecular relativity to bovine produced edible products making contact with a starched-plane; one must first interconnect the relationship of sub atomic enertia which may effect the property of matter by which it remains in uniform motion unless acted upon external force to enduce a magnetic flux of a symetrical and significant nature sufficient enough to cause rotation in all equal units of mamal, dairy products, and wheat, with a further convective ability to recognize the bovine defication contained in this response. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

raaaid
04-02-2006, 01:32 AM
murphys law is seein the glass half empty, the glass seems half empty but the truth is that the buttered bread just behaves like a dart

as for the cat did you know its been proven cats to survive 20 stories fall?

i wonder what bastard takes to have done this experiments

Akronnick
04-02-2006, 01:53 AM
Nobody intentionally test this on live cats (At least I hope not http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif), but it is not uncommon for pet cats to leap out of open windows of high rise buildings and survive falls of ten stories or more. I have also seen videos of cats being dropped onto cusions similar to what they use in pole vaulting to protect the cat from injury. There have been findings that indicate that a cat is most likely to be injured in falls of about 7-15 feet (I forget the exact figure). Below that amount, they don't always land upright, but they aren't heavy enough to injure themselves from a low hieght. Above the critical range, they have time to right themselves and prepare for impact, and it also seems that they can spread their bodies to slow their falls from great hieghts, and survive with injuries no worse than broken legs.

Jatro13th
04-02-2006, 06:08 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">To fully constabulate the conductivity of the predetermined afforementioned theory of feline molecular relativity to bovine produced edible products making contact with a starched-plane; one must first interconnect the relationship of sub atomic enertia which may effect the property of matter by which it remains in uniform motion unless acted upon external force to enduce a magnetic flux of a symetrical and significant nature sufficient enough to cause rotation in all equal units of mamal, dairy products, and wheat, with a further convective ability to recognize the bovine defication contained in this response. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Morris, you are my Hero!!!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/metal.gif

Aero_Shodanjo
04-02-2006, 06:26 AM
This (http://www.startribune.com/484/story/342423.html) is what happened when a cat refuse to cooperate with such experiments.

LEBillfish
04-02-2006, 07:14 AM
http://www.code7r.org/inquiz/images/nip2.gif

Tully__
04-02-2006, 07:24 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raaaid:
as for the cat did you know its been proven cats to survive 20 stories fall?

i wonder what bastard takes to have done this experiments </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
There are many well documented and confirmed cases of cats fall off balconies all by themselves without any aid from bastards (or other non-feline identities)

Dean3238
04-02-2006, 08:06 AM
LEBillfish,

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

"Failure to deploy Buttered Toast _before_ jumping will result in serious injury or death."

Dean