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View Full Version : OT Shocking things I'd LOVE to do!



Worf101
08-24-2007, 06:40 AM
After reading the flak Cid got over buying an M1 Garrand I got to thinkin' of some shocking thing I'd like to do if I had the money and gear.

1. Surface a working U-Boat in the middle of some Yacht Race off the Hamptons. Have my crew hoist the Battle Ensign and man the 88mm Deck Gun. Then get on the bullhorn and demand their immediate surrender.

2. Pull my Tiger Tank into the lot on classic car night at the local drive-in. Have the crew jump out in them classy black unis and fall in beside the tank. Senh Hanz in to get the burgers and fries.

3. Buzz the Flag Day Parade with a Stuka Dive Bomber.

I guess it's a slow day here at work.

Da Worfster

Worf101
08-24-2007, 06:40 AM
After reading the flak Cid got over buying an M1 Garrand I got to thinkin' of some shocking thing I'd like to do if I had the money and gear.

1. Surface a working U-Boat in the middle of some Yacht Race off the Hamptons. Have my crew hoist the Battle Ensign and man the 88mm Deck Gun. Then get on the bullhorn and demand their immediate surrender.

2. Pull my Tiger Tank into the lot on classic car night at the local drive-in. Have the crew jump out in them classy black unis and fall in beside the tank. Senh Hanz in to get the burgers and fries.

3. Buzz the Flag Day Parade with a Stuka Dive Bomber.

I guess it's a slow day here at work.

Da Worfster

danjama
08-24-2007, 06:43 AM
Those are all great things! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/crackwhip.gif

I'd like to park my Stuka in Buckingham palace gardens while the queen is in.

DKoor
08-24-2007, 06:53 AM
Stuka buzzing wins hands down.

SGTSHLITZ
08-24-2007, 07:05 AM
Tiger tank!?! Are you crazy? That thing gets like 1/4 mile per gallon.

MEGILE
08-24-2007, 07:09 AM
I just poured ice-water down my tshirt...

hmm that was NOT a smart thing to do.

leitmotiv
08-24-2007, 08:04 AM
I am content to say I did enough outrageous things by 25 that I am now able to rest on my laurels and lecture the young on the dangers of intemperate behavior and the joys of virtue with an almost straight face.

SeaFireLIV
08-24-2007, 08:21 AM
Borrow Genghis Khan and his army for a month to teach a few self-righteuos organistations a few things in life... like how not to pick on the little guy just because you can. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

Low_Flyer_MkVb
08-24-2007, 08:35 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by leitmotiv:
I am content to say I did enough outrageous things by 25 that I am now able to rest on my laurels and lecture the young on the dangers of intemperate behavior and the joys of virtue with an almost straight face. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

+1 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

leitmotiv
08-24-2007, 08:41 AM
Call me Squire Weston, herf herf

http://www.movieactors.com/freezeframes5/tomjones36.jpeg

Worf101
08-24-2007, 08:43 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by leitmotiv:
Call me Squire Weston, herf herf

http://www.movieactors.com/freezeframes5/tomjones36.jpeg </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLMBBAO!!!!

Daddy!!!!!

Da Worfster

Esel1964
08-24-2007, 09:40 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif
Funny stuff!!!

I like the Tiger tank,I'd be sure to bust all the asphalt on the way,too. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
"Kann ich, einen cheeseburger und ein chocalate Malz bitte haben?"

Maybe leave the 24 liter diesel engine idling while there(for the smoke),we wouldn't want our tank crew getting mosquito-borne diseases,would we? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Enforcer572005
08-24-2007, 10:53 PM
Now Worf, how un PC of you. Don't you realize the lousy gas mileage those Tigers get (as pointed out)? This is very un-green of you, so you must want to ruin the environment, you evil man you. I bet you even use more than one sheet of toilet paper when you poop. I'm gonna call Cheryll Crow and report you. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

You should trade that Tiger in for a Kublewagon...lots better gas mileage. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

I just wanna resurect General Sherman's army and give the state of Georgia another badly needed attitude adjustment.....at least at the state capitol.

I feel so much like a victim right now. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

Akronnick
08-24-2007, 11:49 PM
What did the State of Georgia ever do to you?

Copperhead310th
08-25-2007, 01:16 AM
i think everyone has those crazy dreams.

Some are simple and other are quite grand and even hitting the lottery might not help ya achive them. So just fior Schits & Giggles here's a few of mine.

Get my Private lic.
Fly a B-24
Fly a P-47
Tour Scottland for a month.
travel to: Japan, China, Autraila, England, Paris, Rome, Jerulslim, Moscow & St. Pertersburg.
Live long enough to:
See my Daughter Graduate High School, Collage and hopefully a grandson or 2.
Get locked in a small room with a baseball bat & Osama Bin Ladin.
See the Indains win the world series.
See Alabama win back to back SEC & national football championchips.
Go to an Iron Bowl. (Alabma/Auburn football game.
Go to an Alabama home game @ Bryant-Denny Stadium THIS ONE IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE. LOL I GOT LUCKY AND GOT MY TICKET LAST WEEK.
FYI a season ticket holder for UofA football seats has to die before yuo can actually get a ticket. and even then...theresa 3 years waiting period & they are high as hell.
See another Eagles Concert
and i'd like to meet Bill Clinton, The Eagles, BB King again, get trashed with Kid Rock & Hnak JR backstage at a Metalica concert.

and lastly i'd like to meet Bill o'reialy & Mike Mooore, take em waaay out into the woods, strip em down to their birthday suits, hand cuff em to the same tree, pour honey all over em, stir up a big ol fire ant bed, and force em to listen to polka music till the lil baterds eat the fleash off thier bones. :-)

Bo_Nidle
08-25-2007, 09:33 AM
Shove a gherkin halfway through Gordon Browns letterbox and shout "THE MARTIANS ARE COMING!!!"

leitmotiv
08-25-2007, 01:23 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

stalkervision
08-25-2007, 01:42 PM
paint a bullseye on your butt and enter yourself as a target in an archery contest? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

WarWolfe_1
08-25-2007, 02:04 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">See Alabama win back to back SEC & national football championchips. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

rotflmao http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

OMG I laughed so hard I almost threwup.

BaldieJr
08-25-2007, 02:04 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Worf101:
After reading the flak Cid got over buying an M1 Garrand I got to thinkin' of some shocking thing I'd like to do if I had the money and gear.

1. Surface a working U-Boat in the middle of some Yacht Race off the Hamptons. Have my crew hoist the Battle Ensign and man the 88mm Deck Gun. Then get on the bullhorn and demand their immediate surrender.

2. Pull my Tiger Tank into the lot on classic car night at the local drive-in. Have the crew jump out in them classy black unis and fall in beside the tank. Senh Hanz in to get the burgers and fries.

3. Buzz the Flag Day Parade with a Stuka Dive Bomber.

I guess it's a slow day here at work.

Da Worfster </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

1. Streak the whitehouse lawn while the pres is walking toward his chopper.

2. Yell "Holy **** this is good weed!" in church .

3. Stand on a random street corner with my **** hanging out and demand passersby stop staring at my ****.

4. Call a jehovas witness church and tell them that if they don't make a habit of trying to convert my neighbor he may go missing because the guy is a ****ing jerk.

my mind was designed for this sort of thought. i'm an ordained minister of the church of subgenius.

Friendly_flyer
08-25-2007, 02:13 PM
I'm a tree-hugging European and all, but the Tiger tank stunt sounds sooo cool!

DuxCorvan
08-25-2007, 03:04 PM
Paint and present His Majesty the Borbon King of Spain a painting of the decapitation of Louis XVI, bearing the title 'An Unfinished Job'.

Choctaw111
08-25-2007, 04:18 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by leitmotiv:
I am content to say I did enough outrageous things by 25 that I am now able to rest on my laurels and lecture the young on the dangers of intemperate behavior and the joys of virtue with an almost straight face. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am kind of with you on this. These days I do my best just to be left alone and keep to myself. Those crazy days seem to be just but a memory.

leitmotiv
08-25-2007, 04:22 PM
I'm glad I got the wild boy out of me while I was young---nothing is worse than an old guy acting like an 18 yr old. It will come out eventually---better at 18 than 58! I was so crazed I'm amazed I didn't get killed or busted. Anybody who thinks just women are bats due to hormones is dreaming! In retrospect, I'm amazed 80% of males don't end up dead before 25. We just do not comprehend our personal mortality until around 30 or later. It's always: death applies to you, but not to me.

XyZspineZyX
08-25-2007, 04:33 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DuxCorvan:
Paint and present His Majesty the Borbon King of Spain a painting of the decapitation of Louis XVI, bearing the title 'An Unfinished Job'. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Viper2005_
08-25-2007, 06:58 PM
#1. Systematically crush all the pointless 4x4s that have become so inexplicably popular in recent years with a tank, preferably whilst arranging for the political re-education of their owners by drill-sergeant types who would helpfully explain that the ownership of such a vehicle does not imply ownership of the road network, nor does it confer let or licence upon said owner to drive like an idiot.

#2. Restart Messerschmitt bubble car production. Issue said cars to the ex 4x4 owners, and ban them from driving anything else for a period of 10 years.

#3. Implement legislation taxing ugly engineering to ensure that the 4x4 calamity is never repeated.

#4. Conduct a audit of the green lobby's carbon footprint.

#5. Take out adverts in all forms of media worldwide detailing the results of said audit.

#6. Charter a CL-415. Paint it to resemble a bird. Fill its hold with liquid guano. Have it drop said guano on the housing association not quite next door which wrote letters to complain about my 90 year old grandfather feeding the birds in our garden...

#7. Fund the production of an action movie wherein the bad guys were not incredibly stupid.

#8. Arrange the biggest version of Big Brother ever. Allow all the housemates who apply into the house. Combine it with celebrity Big Brother, and let as many celebrities become housemates as see fit to join.

#9 Construct a special extra-large Big Brother House in a remote location, with extra security to prevent escape. After the last housemate arrives, lock the doors and cancel the show. Have Big Brother put the housemates onto a hardship routine. Round up the production staff, and other persons sharing in culpability, drop them into the house grounds via helicopter. Have Big Brother inform them that the new arrivals are stooges sent to disrupt the house by lying about events in the real world. Should he fail to comply, threaten to drop him into the house and inform the housemates of his identity. Have Big Brother record a wide variety of potentially useful instructions. Drop big brother into the house anyway once he ceases to be useful, but don't tell the housemates his identity. Chuckle at the thought of him attempting to survive without talking. Arrange daily patrols to check for tunnels. Issue the guards with tranquiliser dart guns as used in zoos etc.. Use helicopters to return any would-be escapees to the house grounds. Ensure complete secrecy by threatening to drop leakers into the house. Construct some form of cover story in case anybody from the real world enquires as to the whereabouts of the housemates. Inform heads of government in other nations afflicted with Big Brother to enable them to follow suit.

#10 Enjoy a sudden and dramatic decrease in all forms of crime & anti-social behaviour. Redouble guard patrols.

#11 Ban horse racing from ever being shown on more than one TV channel at once. Legally oblige owners to give horses sensible names. Point out that there is no requirement for jockeys to have sensible names. Make it clear to all that in the event of a horse sustaining injuries requiring it to be put down the jockey would also be put down.

#12 Censor all films making reference to American "football". Replace "football" in this context with "not quite Rugby".

#13 Ban any real football team from naming itself after a city unless it draws its players from that city. Furthermore, ban any football team from a city having more than one football team named after it from including the word "United" in its name. Prevent any team specifying a day of the week from playing other than on that day.

#14 Enact legislation to make the display of signs or notices containing incorrect use of the apostrophe a criminal offence punished by enforced lessons in spelling punctuation and grammar, and 100 lines of "Incorrect usage of the apostrophe is annoying in the extreme.".

#15 After lunch, cancel all pointless government expenditure. Start space programme. Tell the few wasters no longer supported by the state not dealt with by #8 to shut up and get a job.

#16 Add a critical appreciation of "The Anacreontic Song" to the national curriculum in order to ensure a continued national understanding of irony.

#17 Buy a collection of WWII fighters. Return them to original condition. Test exhaustively. Compare with game data. Present charts to forum. Chuckle as whines continue unabated.

#18 Enforce complete news blackout on Paris Hilton, if she hasn't already been dealt with via #8.

#19 Develop laser-guided golf ball in total secrecy. Enter and win various top-class golfing events. Immediately retire to pursue career in crazy golf, pointing out at the inevitable press conference that it is both far more interesting and far more challenging. Walk off into the sunset whilst "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynard Skynard plays from strategically placed speakers at high volume...

#20 Officially rename all forms of gambling "Stupidity Tax".

#21 Employ Mr. T to deal with any and all instances of "diving" in professional sporting events, as suggested in a recent TV advert.

#22 Retire via private English Electric Lightning & tanker support to lair situated under a suitable volcano in order to plot further outrages...

JimmyBlonde
08-25-2007, 09:51 PM
Mine?

1) The cat with an alligators head (yeah can't let go of that one)

2)Flying a Lancaster under the Sydney Harbour bridge

3)Take Cate Blanchett for a ride in my Spit XIV. (Should be nice and cosy in that tiny pit)

msalama
08-26-2007, 01:08 AM
Well, I'd love to get me a T34 and then visit a politician or two http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif Followed by parking it in front of my flat - if there was no room I'd just overrun those lame tin cans http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Feathered_IV
08-26-2007, 08:33 AM
Interesting thread this.

I'd like to race decommissioned Ohkas at Reno http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

waffen-79
08-26-2007, 11:19 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by JimmyBlonde:
Mine?

3)Take Cate Blanchett for a ride in my Spit XIV. (Should be nice and cosy in that tiny pit) </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You have good taste mister http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

horseback
08-26-2007, 12:11 PM
Take a Light Armored Vehicle from Camp Pendleton south on I-5 to the border during peak afternoon rush hour, making good use of the 25mm chain gun on:

1. Drivers who think that they have to right to pass everyone who is patiently waiting their turn to make an exit and then force their way across three lanes of bumper to bumper traffic in less than 200 yds to get on that exit

2. Drivers with cell phones at their their ears-and that includes the sneaky bastages that think that it's "safe" to use the no-hands bluetooth thingies. Let's help you find out what the Roaming fees are in Hell...

3. Any RV, van with a camper shell, or large commercial truck that ventures into the Number One, or "fast" lane for any reason. They don't belong there, and if they're in the number two lane, they're pushing their luck.

4. Pickup trucks with more than two adult males in them, especially if I see rakes and leaf blowers in the truck bed. Anyone who's ever worked a night shift will immediately understand why.

5. Tourists. What the hell are they doing trying to drive around and sightsee at that time of day when they could be at the beach? Out of state plates and straw hats are a dead giveaway, and you'd be shocked at how easy it is to identify a rental car.

6. Any vehicle whose exhaust, radio or CD player I can hear over the sound of my engine or the screams of the wounded.

7. Any vehicle failing to make proper use of its turn signals. This includes the semiretired elderly types who will go eight or ten miles with the left turn blinker going the whole time.

8. The wienies who are afraid to pass the truck in the next lane, but won't pull in behind it so the other cars can pass. This isn't Peru or China, or some other country where gross vehicular weight apparently confers right of way, so he isn't going to swerve into you. Pass him or get the **** out of the way.

9. Any oversized vehicle that lags behind traffic flow, forcing the people behind him(or her) to watch the traffic in the adjacent lanes flow past just because they can. You have the right to waste your own time, but you don't have the right to waste anybody else's.

10. Assuming that I make it to the border, the antenna of the Mexican FM station that bleeds it's overpowered signal all over the three or four US based stations within 2 MHz of it's own assigned frequency. Can't those people afford a competent engineering staff?

A two hour commute gives one lots of time to fantasize...

cheers

horseback

Warrington_Wolf
08-26-2007, 01:04 PM
I would like to.
1. Buy the company that I work for and say to the boss (in an Alan Suger voice) "xxxxx, you're fired" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

2. Hire out the BBMF Lancaster for a day and drop a payload of manure over Old Trafford when the home team are playing Chelsea.

3. Land the Lancaster, load on some real bombs and target the Inland Revenue offices (may require several sorties)

4. Crush my neighbour's car with a tiger tank, I have to use a can opener to get my car in or out.

5. Give all those Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth knobheads my "carbon footprint" up their collective arse.

6. Strafe those greenpeace and F.O.T.E types with a P-47.

7. Load all the chavs, benefit cheats and all scumbags in general on a ship, tow them out to the mid Atlantic and torpedo the ship.

8. Drive into a McDonalds drive in, in a Tiger tank and order a happy meal.

9. Knock on the doors of Jehovahs witnesses and try and convert them to the "dark side", by doing such things as playing Black Sabbath loudly http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif.

10. Get it on with Rose McGowan http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/mockface.gif.

Airmail109
08-26-2007, 01:28 PM
Id like to buzz the battle of britain flight out of the sun in a flugwerk fw190

That and id like to do a "Frank Abagnale"

Oh yes and when Im living in Oxford net year Id like to pull Emma Watson http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

han freak solo
08-26-2007, 01:50 PM
Does she have better days? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

http://www.synthstuff.com/mt/archives/cate_blanchett_anorexia.jpg

han freak solo
08-26-2007, 02:00 PM
I like Worf's Stuka idea, just for the SIREN. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb8XP8j6rVg)

BrotherVoodoo
08-27-2007, 05:33 PM
Fly to the next gig in my P-51D and play for a sold out concert of 100000 screaming fans...in my camo boxers. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif You did say shocking right? Oooops, was that my outside voice?

Deadmeat313
08-28-2007, 08:38 AM
In a homage to an earlier thread, I would like to buzz Northern Russian airspace in a Vulcan bomber. Make them escort me off with Mig-29s http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


T.

lynx421993
08-28-2007, 11:00 AM
I would like to fly through the grand canyon in a spitfire or a 190.

My friend want's to put all of the people he hates into a large "specialized" room (radio producers, bad actors, some of his ex-girlfriends, etc.) then there is a large tv screen is on the roof (facin down, so everybody can see it.) Then whil everybody is looking up, a giant saw blade somes through and cut's evryones head off.

BSS_Goat
08-28-2007, 11:12 AM
Let your "friend" know that he's a frikkin psycho

Viper2005_
08-28-2007, 01:43 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Deadmeat313:
In a homage to an earlier thread, I would like to buzz Northern Russian airspace in a Vulcan bomber. Make them escort me off with Mig-29s http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


T. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Since vulcan has a relatively low RCS, I would have thought that maximum amusement value could be had from sneaking in at low level and then landing on Red Square...

Of course, you'd need some kind of "Get out of Jail Free" card...

BSS_AIJO
08-28-2007, 04:53 PM
shocking?

ok here I go.. but if you are easily offended you might want to pass this up.


When I am king of the world I would go to Mecca, sit on top of the kaaba and drink wine from the prophets skull while hosting a pork roast for my friends.

then

Go to Rome and have all of the statues repaired replacing their missing *parts* with newer bigger ones. I will get the Viagra folks to subsidize that one.

BSS_AIJO