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Pirschjaeger
06-22-2005, 10:21 AM
Le Computer

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French.


Unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine:

"House" is feminine-"la maison." Pencil" is masculine-"le crayon."


A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"


Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into

two groups - male and female - and asked them to decide
for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons
for their recommendation.


The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely
be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal
logic;


2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term
memory for possible later review; and


4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers
should be masculine ("le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn
them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half
the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you
had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better
model.


The women won

Pirschjaeger
06-22-2005, 10:21 AM
Le Computer

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French.


Unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine:

"House" is feminine-"la maison." Pencil" is masculine-"le crayon."


A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"


Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into

two groups - male and female - and asked them to decide
for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons
for their recommendation.


The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely
be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal
logic;


2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term
memory for possible later review; and


4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers
should be masculine ("le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn
them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half
the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you
had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better
model.


The women won

BBB_Hyperion
06-22-2005, 11:50 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

F19_Ob
06-22-2005, 11:57 AM
he he....good one http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

murewa
06-22-2005, 12:08 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

That's hilarious! though I personally think the guys had a better case http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

skabbe
06-22-2005, 01:27 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

the male side have this light humor thing and the female have a bit more darker one, both i like...

Ankanor
06-22-2005, 02:16 PM
when I'm back from my evening jogging I'll post "what all men want" and the "Ideal Woman" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

reverendkrv1972
06-22-2005, 04:22 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifRofl http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Ankanor
06-22-2005, 05:16 PM
The Ideal woman(those words are very man's dream. Just a dream yet http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif )

1. Honey, are you sure that beer will be enough for you?
2. What new parts should I buy for your car?
3. Aren't you going to hit the bar with your friends?
4. I've decided that from tomorrow I'll be walking around the house nude!
5. You're so sexy when you're hungry!!!
6. Let's watch the match and drink beer, honey!
7. How about we go downtown so you can check out the women?
8. I'll go wash the car!
9. I love it when you fix you car on saturday morning! May I help on Sunday?
10. Sugar, quick, come, our new hot female neighbour is sunbathing stark naked
11.No, No and No! This time I'll change the car's oil!
12. You mother is so much better than mine!
13. Forget St. Valentine, let's go to the auto show
14. I know you love to go hunting on our anniversary, it relaxes you so much, you are going this year, too, right?
15. Cut it, I don't want to go to the theater, let's get a case of beer, two hardcore videos and I'll invite my my girfriend, the D sized model.
16. Ooooh, listen I really don't want to go shopping today, why don't we go to the striptease club instead?
17. Listen, I'm earning enough for the both of us, why don't you quit your job and enjoy the game on TV and I'll buy booze on my way home
18. I've started yoga courses so I could put my legs behind my head, just because of you, dear!


What Men Want: Men want it that:

1. Woman's day (8th of March) be 29th of February. Once every 4 years is bearable http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif
2. Breast enlarging operation be covered in the basic health insurance
3. the needed participants for a baby to be conceived be 1 man and 4 women
4. All women have one name, for the ease of communication
5. All women have an allergy for gold, jewelry, and furs.
6. For the man to save his girlfriend form becoming pregnant crossing his thumbs behind his back to be enough.
7. the bikini be the best business suit for the ladies. And not only them...
8. Undoing of the bra requires only a slight breath
9. the woman in general has one menstrual period, when the fishing season opens.
10. the hairs form the back/nose can be easily transplanted to the head.
11. it is possible to control his wiener's size to his liking, just like the sound volume adjuster of his stereo.
12. Highways have no limits and are in the form of a giant elypse
13. In every bar there be cushions for those who have no urge to leave.
14. Men also have multipple orgasm
15. the woman's nose be filtered against the smell of beer, sweat and onion(or put whatever you want here http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )
16. a pair of socks be invented that when separated, they automatically crawl back to each other and find an easyspot to be seen.
17. once a month every man to have the constitutional right of burning down his office/cubicle
18. Ties are not required done and trouser belts - fastened.

Translated from Bulgarian http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Enforcer572005
06-22-2005, 05:34 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

I once had a fantastic girlfriend named Cindy that fit alot of those perfect woman categories...she loved guns, aircraft, and all the provocative stuff you listed.

all went well for a couple of years....
UNTIL SHE FIGURED OUT SHE WAS A LESBIAN...DOH!

Unfortunately Im not making this up, but it sure was a good time.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif

Frequent_Flyer
06-22-2005, 05:49 PM
Enforcer, that sounds like a tongue in cheek story to me!

Frequent_Flyer
06-22-2005, 05:56 PM
Ankanor,good to know you jog, I often thought that some of the posters here could benefit from the mood elevation that sustained cardiovascular exercise provides.

Enforcer572005
06-23-2005, 12:59 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif depends on whose cheek yer talkin about.....a couple of yrs later, some scumbag broke into her house, to meet up with the muzzle of a Taurus PT-92 9mm I bought her (and instructed her on).

and with her free hand she called 911...guess who the dispatcher was that answered the phone.
I swear that really happened.....I thought that was really cool. So did the cops, who said the guy was kinda relieved they came and got him.

sparty7200
06-23-2005, 03:50 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ankanor:
The Ideal woman(those words are very man's dream. Just a dream yet http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif )

1. Honey, are you sure that beer will be enough for you?
2. What new parts should I buy for your car?
3. Aren't you going to hit the bar with your friends?
4. I've decided that from tomorrow I'll be walking around the house nude!
5. You're so sexy when you're hungry!!!
6. Let's watch the match and drink beer, honey!
7. How about we go downtown so you can check out the women?
8. I'll go wash the car!
9. I love it when you fix you car on saturday morning! May I help on Sunday?
10. Sugar, quick, come, our new hot female neighbour is sunbathing stark naked
11.No, No and No! This time I'll change the car's oil!
12. You mother is so much better than mine!
13. Forget St. Valentine, let's go to the auto show
14. I know you love to go hunting on our anniversary, it relaxes you so much, you are going this year, too, right?
15. Cut it, I don't want to go to the theater, let's get a case of beer, two hardcore videos and I'll invite my my girfriend, the D sized model.
16. Ooooh, listen I really don't want to go shopping today, why don't we go to the striptease club instead?
17. Listen, I'm earning enough for the both of us, why don't you quit your job and enjoy the game on TV and I'll buy booze on my way home
18. I've started yoga courses so I could put my legs behind my head, just because of you, dear!


Most of these apply to my wife! How jealous are you guys!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/mockface.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

sgilewicz
06-23-2005, 03:57 PM
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Midsection

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh!
Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks....

But Chocolate sings.

Ankanor
06-23-2005, 04:19 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by sparty7200:
Most of these apply to my wife! How jealous are you guys!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/mockface.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

even the "no shopping, striptease instead" line? in that case http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif and I'd really want to know what did you do to make her marry you? If it isn't a secret, of course http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

@ sgilewicz, that was hilarious http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif . I am cleaning strawberries with quark from my display. I haven't had such a laugh for quite a time. 10X http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif