View Full Version : Final Movie Review - Transporter 2

09-01-2005, 03:07 AM
Ok, I've got some serious 'splainin to do.

First order of business, this is my final movie review for the summer. It's once again time to return to school to gain an education and do other crazy things. Which brings me to the explanation of my second order of business...

Second order of business - why I have ceased to exist for the last 4 or 5 days on these forums. School. Thats every bit of why I haven't been posting. This last week and a half before I go back has been nuts. Time has a funny way of grabbing you by the neck and slapping you hard in the face when you're not looking. I've had lots to do, many friends to see, and just way too many responsibilities. This summer has felt more busy and stressfull than school had gotten at any point last year. That's not good. I'm burnt out, I still have to pack and set up an extra PC for the family, it's 3:45 A.M., and I'm bushed. I'm tired of this... Which explains the third order of business...

Third order of business - I never wrote a review for the movie I previewed last week: Brothers Grimm. Limited time and too much stress has prevented me from doing so. Here's a quick rundown of Brothers Grimm. A long, drawn out movie with a decent plot and bad special effects. Nothing amazing or must see about it. It's cool how the implemented the fairytales in the storyline. That's about it. I hate missing reviews, so that brings me to my fourth order of business...

Fourth order of business - Transporter 2 movie review. This movie is the mindless action full beat 'em up film that men love. Case in point, I loved this movie. If you haven't seen the first Transporter, do yourself a favor and rent it. It was a low radar film that came out back in... 2002? It was back when I started working at the movie theater, way back when. Those were the days.... Anyways, it was a sleeper hit, and I loved it. Make sure to see it. It's not necessary to see T1 before seeing T2, but it's worth seeing just to see tons of action and car chases.

But thats what this film is all about. Fight scenes and car chases, and a hero that takes absolutely no guff and looks good and professional while he does it. there are plenty of kung fu fight scenes where Frank, the main character, does tons of sweet moves and uses anything and everything as a weapon. Many of the situations he gets into are unbelievable, but enjoyable to watch. however, at some points during these crazy situations, things happen that are just absurd. So absurd that it bothered me a bit and hurt the film in a way. There are around 4 or 5 of these certain scenes. For example, theres a part where that psycho gun toting goth chick is face to face with a police chopper. She holds her sub machine gun up to the chopper and sprays around 10 bullets at it. These few bullets effectivly destory the chopper instantly. It explodes into bad CG fire and parts and falls to the earth.

One of the biggest things that bugged me about this film other than the goofy certain parts is the fact that they used lots of CG - and it's not even good CG. The original movie relied completely on awesome driving and real explosions. T2 relies on good driving but CG's the big jumps and explosions. Especially bad is the scene at the end where Frank is fighting someone in a private jet. the jet is stalling out, tipping, and spinning all through the skies. The plane is CG when shown from the outside, and it's movements do not look believeable in any way. If you have to do CG, go big or go home. I wouldn't be as disapointed with this if it wasn't for the fact that T1 pulled off a great film with very minimal CG usage compared to T2.

But, the real reason you come to see this movie is the fights and the awesome cars being driven at break-neck speeds, right? Well, luckily there is no shortage of the affore mentioned theatrics in this film. The original film actually got a little boring in the middle, drawn out with too much plot and not enough action. (remember, this movie has a decent plot, but it's quite cliched. We really watch a film like this to be completely entertained, not to be enveloped in a complex story.) This movie has a lot more action sequences. The fighting is great because Frank is so flawless and untouchable. I've menioned with other movie reviews how much I love a movie that has an untouchable hero, and I would refrence T1 almost every time. Frank gets hit a few more times in this movie than he did in the original, but he still owns any cookie cutter thug that comes up to him. The car choices are well done as well. Audis and Lamborghini's (sp?) take the main stage, as they're driven to thier fullest extents in dazzling stunt situations. If you're a car buff, especially with the exotics, you'll love this film.

I did notice this movie had a lot of product placement and plugging. At one point, Frank is on the phone with a pizza place. He walks to the fridge while he talks, and the camera cuts in close to the open fridge as he reaches in. Conviniently capturing three bottles of Heiniken beer, all labels facing forward. Later in the film, a low shot shows him walking along a sidewalk. Directly above him is a Comcast banner. I don't mind if you plug companies, but I hate when I actually notice them, and it takes my focus off the film.

And on a side note, I hated the whole bad-girl goth chick in the movie. I thought she was a dumb character, although provided great gunfire in some good fight scenes.

Check this movie out. Don't expect much more than a great drive around and beat people up flick with a sweet main character. If anything, make sure you see the original film.

and on another side note, I saw this on a "real" movie review. Even with a rough expanded vocabulary, I can only sit and stare at this statement as drool flows from my mouth. Anyone has any clue what this guy is trying to say?

and by the insultingly half-baked machinations of a convoluted screenplay.
(again, this is why I write these!)

Thank's for sticking with my movie reviews this summer guys, theres been some great films, and tons of bad ones. Be looking forward to Christmas time for movie reviews to return, one last time.

09-01-2005, 03:14 AM
A fun little fact - The minute I posted this, DenDen and Phil are posting at this exact minute. Probably daytime over there, geez I need sleep. Come on, be the first to read the review guys, it won't get any more fresh than it is right now! This is bleeding edge!

09-01-2005, 03:58 AM
Poor Lynx, don't get overstressed, always look on the bright side of life! The review is great once again, I really feel like watching an action movie again, two weeks ago I saw Die Hard again, I was enjoying it thoroughly. I'll be looking forward to your next reviews, although it will take a long time. I do expect you to write review of King Kong when it comes out, that would be awesome. Well, good luck at school and have fun, because that's also part of it!

09-01-2005, 11:35 AM
Yes! Woo.. Transporter 2 is gonna rock!

Yeah, school is gonna happen next week for me.

My advice? Don't take my advice. "Sleep when your dead, man." - Ron Perlman. Greatest Actor that ever lived. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

I wish you the best of luck, Lynx. I don't recall any other movie that will be worth reviewing this year(Maybe Doom) but keep on you studying!

That goes for the rest of you young'uns!Get back to the coal fields where you belong!

09-02-2005, 11:48 PM
I moved in today, and despite being completely exhausted, I feel great to be back, and the fun times are allready back. Thanks for the words of encouragement. And despite my movie theater career being over, I'll still write mini reviews of certain films as I see them. King Kong will be one of them, as well as Corpse Bride.
And I'll see Doom too, per jericho's request. I'm not sure what I think about the movie, the trailer looked doom-esque, but it still had the Rock in it, either way you look at it...