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Realjambo
12-16-2007, 03:01 PM
My fellow Kaleun's and Commanders. Welcome to the SH forum Christmas Nativity. This is purely meant in jest, and my intention is not to offend anyone so if I have, I apologise. It's just a bit of seasonal fun. It boasts an all star cast, and will be serialised over a few epsiodes. Keep with it - You never know who might appear - To say nothing of a twist at the end!

Comfortable? Then we shall we begin...

Ages and ages and ages ago, there was a lady Kaleun called Liddabit. She had a thing going with Hueywolf. Impressive, given they live on different continents but the internet is a very clever thing. Apparently, they are going to put it into computers in a few years time so I've heard.

Anyway. Late one night Liddabit is awoken by what she thought was an intruder. It only turned out to be an Angel! Imagine that! At least there was no breaking and entering damage to the house.

Shining in all his resplendent fatigues glory, the Angel spoke, How do. Sorry to trouble you. I'm the Angel Goose and I have an important update for you Liddabit, concerning you and Hueywolf. By the way I've left me truck blocking your neighbour's driveway but I've left me hazards flashing though'.

Stunned, Liddabit sat up in bed, pulling the covers up around her neck. What do you want? It's 4am!' she said.

Well, it's like this Liddabit er, do you mind if I sit down?' The Angel Goose replied, perching on the edge of her bed. "Nice duvet. Get this! You and Huey have been chosen to be the legal guardians of a child that will one day become the CEO of Ubisoft! How mad is that!" He exclaimed.

I've not read about this in the forum how can it be so?' spluttered an astonished Liddabit.

The forum is a bit slow today' The Angel goose replied. Look, I best dash, I sense a Traffic Warden nearby. You have to go Oz, hook up with Hueywolf and cough up some cash for some Tax reason apparently. Don't hang around!'


After a really really long time, Liddabit arrives in Oz. Together with Huey they go and try to pay their Tax demand. Liddabit understandably is very tired and they decide to try and find a Travel Inn or Comfort Lodge to stay in for the night. No such luck!

I reckon we should try some guesthouses' suggest Hueywolf. Mariuszj welcomes you' read the illuminated sign above the door. Hueywolf rings the bell and a man, a handful of screenshot certificates greets them.

I'm sorry, I have to choose my next month's entries I'm afraid I have no room for you try next door' He says.
A short walk down the road and they come to another guesthouse. This one has a neon sign that flashes Welcome to Tuddley's Place!' Hueywolf presses the buzzer. A man opens the door and explains Guys I'd love to help but have you seen the new Mod? It's incredible! I can't help you tonight. Try across the street'

Tired and cold, the couple take his advice and head over to another guest house. Liddabit is getting concerned. It's getting dark and it's starting to rain. There's no neon sign to welcome them this time, the place looks closed. Undaunted, Hueywolf knocks on the door.

Yo' says a voice.

Ah, can we get a room for the night?' Hueywolf asks.

Mmm. Kinda full buddy I'm afraid' replies the owner.

Oh dear. It's just we've been on the go all day, it's raining and we're bushed! Can't you squeeze us in somewhere? I can tell you the perfect torp settings that'll snap a C3 in half one shot one kill' pleads Liddabit

Really? Uh, tell you what, out the back where we keep the recycling bins you can stay there if you like, it's covered over so you won't get wet - best I can do' offered Bunkerratt.

lane2512
12-16-2007, 05:39 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

RJ just opened the gates to Sh5! This thread should get interesting.

wh1skea
12-17-2007, 06:05 AM
I'm waiting to see who else is in it....(kinda surprised that a mod wasnt the angel.)

Realjambo
12-17-2007, 06:12 AM
kinda surprised that a mod wasnt the angel

There's the 3 'Wise men' to come yet wh1skea http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

wh1skea
12-17-2007, 06:24 AM
how true, I digress

The_Silent_O
12-17-2007, 07:13 AM
I cast 'Foehammer' as the Drummer Boy ... we can call him the 'Foehammer' boy

But who will be King Herod?

I'll cast myself as a lamb or *******, or some modern version of said beasts!

GoldenEagle8
12-17-2007, 10:44 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

I can't wait to see where this is going!!
Patiently awaiting the next episode... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

hueywolf123
12-17-2007, 01:44 PM
Seeing as I'm sharing one of the 'Starring' roles here, may I comment?
Cool, good job, good luck finding some 'Wise Men' though.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Celeon999
12-17-2007, 01:49 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

wh1skea
12-17-2007, 01:53 PM
Originally posted by hueywolf123:
Seeing as I'm sharing one of the 'Starring' roles here, may I comment?
Cool, good job, good luck finding some 'Wise Men' though.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

It'll probably be more like 'Wise Guys'

Liddabit
12-17-2007, 02:36 PM
I'm a star :O!!

One fish big splish!

My rhyming needs work http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

ken4045
12-18-2007, 04:53 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif That was very good Realjambo.Liked the part abut one shot one kill on C3 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif Good Luck and Good Hunting

Realjambo
12-18-2007, 05:04 AM
Thank you ken4045 - 'Scene Two' will be along shortly, I'll give you time to get all yor refreshments and take your seats again http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Jochen_Mohr
12-18-2007, 05:17 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

verry nice read RJ, looking forward for episode 2 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

bunkerratt
12-18-2007, 08:44 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

vietvettwo
12-18-2007, 08:58 AM
OK, never let it be said that we aren't team players. Vietvet, Lane and the Pharmman make up their minds that they will audition for the role of the three wise men.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/three_stooges.jpg

cpt-rusty
12-18-2007, 09:50 AM
the big three http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

Realjambo
12-18-2007, 03:42 PM
Scene Two:

So it came to be. With Bunkerratt running around in the background fetching hot towels and water, and Hueywolf doing his upmost to reposition the recycling bins to keep the rain off Liddabit, the CEO of Ubisoft to be turned up.

Liddabit wrapped the new CEO in the newspaper Bunkerratt had donated, after Hueywolf had helped him with the last question in the crossword puzzle they weren't sure it was correct but the letters they used had fitted and they were happy. Liddabit didn't like to suggest that emimotnap' was actually a word.

The CEO to be was laid in gently in a discarded shopping trolley. The world was a happy place.

Meanwhile, three Shepherds nearby were walking back to the farm from an evening in the pub. A great light appeared in the sky stopped them in their tracks. They became scared, regretting those sambuca whiskey chasers.

The light they saw before them became two lights, and stopped before them in a hiss of escaping compressed air. It was the Angel Goose in his Arctic truck!

Nearly didn't see you then chaps!' he apologised, stepping down from his gleaming white cab.

Have I got some forum gossip for you!' he said. The three Shepherds Vietvet, Pharman and Tambor looked agog, swaying gently from side to side in unison.

Hic! Tell us then Angel Goose, is there another patch coming?' they asked.

Ah, can't really share that at the moment, BUT! I can tell you that a new CEO of Ubisoft has turned up this very night, and if you value your Sub games I'd suggest you get over and introduce yourselves quick smart' and with that, the Angel Goose disappeared over the horizon in a haze of tyre smoke.

Vietvet, Pharman and Tambor looked at each other seeing all six of them and resolved they must visit the CEO to be. But how to get there? A tractor would take too long. Tambor had a triumphant idea.

Tambor has a triumphant idea' Tambor announced triumphantly.

Dgrayson is a dab hand at doing up old sports cars. I'll PM him and see if he can give us a lift'

Dgrayson was awoken, not for the first time by a forum member in the middle of the night, but given the levity of the situation; he rolled up the garage shutter, turned the key and rolled out a classic sports car. The Shepherds would arrive in style, although amid the confusion, the Shepherds hadn't registered that the car was a two-seater and there would be 3 Shepherds and the driver.

Bunkerratt met them and pointed the way towards the recycling bins and the shopping trolley. There the three shepherds gazed upon the CEO to be and congratulated Liddabit and Hueywolf.

He's got your hair Huey' marvelled Tambor.

Hardly I don't have any' replied Hueywolf*

Exactly my point Hueywolf, so I'll not mention his teeth either' retorted Tambor

*Disclaimer: I'm sure Hueywolf has a fine head of hair and perfect teeth I claim poetic licence' for the story

How are you feeling, after all this, Liddabit?' enquired Vietvet

Erm, suddenly in a story I didn't know I was in' she explained

Oh Liddabit, you have nothing to worry about. It's not just any story, it's a Nativity story, and that means its Christmas!'

I thought we were getting presents for this' Liddabit said

Not part of our gig Liddabit, I think the presents arrive with the Wise men, not the Shepherds That's Scene Three according to the script' Pharman explained.

vietvettwo
12-18-2007, 04:15 PM
Lane is kind of upset that he didn't get one of the Wisemen's parts in the story, but somebody has to man the bar at Rosie's.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/lanebar.jpg

Meanwhile, Vietvet, Tambor and the Pharmman are discussing the U-boat expansion pack for SH4 with Viking Granddad.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/sh3.jpg

OK boys, off to the dumpster

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/theride.jpg

Oh good, here's dgrayson and his ride

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/dgrayson-2.jpg

The boys hear a strange sound coming from on of the trash bins, they look inside and find klcarroll (guess he got on the misses' bad side again).

WilhelmSchulz.
12-18-2007, 04:18 PM
Lol! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Id like to see who the wise men are! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

DarkOmen13
12-18-2007, 04:24 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif More fun than a choccy advent calender!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

D.

lane2512
12-18-2007, 05:08 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif
I have a feeling this story is headed for a train wreck of the first magnitude. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif

pharmman17
12-18-2007, 05:51 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif This is cracking me up!! Can't wait for the next installment!!

VikingGrandad
12-18-2007, 05:56 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

RJ - great idea! I can't even guess how it'll end!

GoldenEagle8
12-18-2007, 07:44 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Absolutely wonderful!!

Can't wait for number three!

How many episodes did you say there was going to be?

vietvettwo
12-18-2007, 09:28 PM
Realjambo puts out the casting call for the gala Christmas thread, you think he would know better by now. But once again we step up to the plate and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that we could screw up a bowl of corn flakes.

OK, lets see, we need three shepards


http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/cybilshepard.jpg

Attractive, but not exactly what we had in mind

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/samshepard.jpg

I'm not too sure most people know who this is

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/shepardsmith.jpg

I don't know if he can get out of his contract with Fox

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/07_05_51---Shepherd-and-baby-lambs_.jpg

Pharmman, get away from the kids

Guys c'mon, shepards protect the flock, think, think, think

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/timessquare01.jpg

True no problem on the protection angle, but I don't think it's the peace on earth look we are going for.

OK, we are not getting anywhere, lets try something else. We need camels

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/camels-vs-cars-solution.jpg

No

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/motorcamel.jpg

No, No

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/joecamel.jpg

Oh for pity's sake...forget it, lets move on to the wild asses

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/gary-busey.jpg

http://i189. http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/britney-spears-bald.jpg

You have to stop this

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/paris_hilton.jpg

God, I'm so embarrassed.

Liddabit
12-18-2007, 11:57 PM
yay Shep Smith! He cracks me up :P

Realjambo
12-19-2007, 06:50 AM
How many episodes did you say there was going to be?

Oh a few more yet GoldenEagle8. I'm glad they are being enjoyed http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

The_Silent_O
12-19-2007, 07:14 AM
I think we need to add a part where Libbabit NOW gets to take 2 months paid maternity leave, BUT instead of taking care of the new CEO, she goes on a tonnage spree with all her "free" time eventually reaching the previously unattainable "400K Club."

...Meanwhile,...the new CEO plots to make SHX, totally realistic and immersive, where NO ONE could ever survive!

vietvettwo
12-19-2007, 10:30 AM
Houston, and RJ, we have a problem. It seems that Liddabit has figured out that she is the only regular female visitor to this forum, and without her we can't pull off the Christmas Spectacular. So now she is using her new found star power to make some demands.

This is a model the boys in the props department made of the final manger scene.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/Manger3.jpg

Our gal isn't having any of that. Here are the demands her agent made

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/shippool.jpg

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/massage.jpg

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/pedicure.jpg

She is even complaining about the food. Seems that Big Macs and chili dogs aren't up to her standards, she's holding out for something more like this.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/steak.jpg

RJ, we just don't have that kind of money in the budget. We thought about getting a new female lead, but the only people who fit in the costums are Raptor and the Snake eater, and that didn't turn out very well

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/11iraqlarge3.jpg

We have ourselves a sticky little problem here.

Realjambo
12-19-2007, 12:12 PM
Fear not vietvet, every leading lady has an understudy - equally as good as them but happy to wait in the wings in case they are called upon.

We do in fact have another female forum member - Mrs. Bunkerratt aka Weebles! (more than a dab hand with a VIIc - she has 3 mentions in the SH3 100k Club)

I'm sure Liddabit will overcome her sudden thrusting into the limelight http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

pookapotamus
12-19-2007, 12:13 PM
Hmm no pookapotamus's (pookapotami? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif whatever) in the guest house? I thought everyone wanted a pookapotamus for X-mas? but then again there is only one of me and apparently I belong to the missus. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

nice thread RJ can't wait for the rest!!

pharmman17
12-19-2007, 02:02 PM
You know guys, if liddabit gets TOO demanding, there's always Lane...he DID say he keeps a pair of "pink pumps" hidden in his garage. A wig, a touch of make up...

Realjambo
12-19-2007, 02:04 PM
Scene Three

Ok, now this is where it gets a bit heavy, so if you need a comfort break' I suggest you go now.

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away. Sorry, wrong story.

Meanwhile, three very very wise men were attending the Ubisoft Moderators Christmas Party. A glitzy affair, but typically Ubisoft. The drinks the waitresses served were not really full measures and the food was almost perfect but not quite. Some people were seen adding sauces of their own to the dishes that were presented (If I lose my job for this then it was nice knowing you all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif )

There were of course plenty of PC's at the party, so the Moderators could keep an eye on their respective forums, because as we all know, Moderators never sleep. Kl noticed a new PM addressed to Minoos, VG and himself. It explained that the CEO to be had arrived and that as Moderators they must visit him to welcome him to the world. There was a PS at the bottom that read: "PS: Presents are obligatory, not optional"

They noticed it did not say where the CEO was, which wasn't very helpful.

I know who will know!' exclaimed Minoos

Who do you know that you know will know?' asked VG

Do you know something I don't know Minoos?' Kl said

Who knows EVERYTHING? Who do we know who know us and knows where the CEO to be will be?' reasoned Minoos

I know you know who knows but I don't know who you know that will know' replied VG, rubbing his head.

King Celeon!' Minoos said exasperatedly

And so they left the party to visit King Celeon in his post socialistic apartment.

King Celeon listened with interest as they explained the PM they had received. He wasn't a happy man. He was concerned that the new CEO to be might not approve of discussions regarding the BBC TV programme Top Gear' and that he might ban King Celeon. He set a cunning plan in motion.

Ah no, he's not here. He was, but he's popped out said something about needing new nappies. Tell you what, when you find him, do me a favour and bring him back here will you? I promise you I will look after him. Honest' he said, eyeing the knife drawer in the kitchen. Minoos, VG and KL drained their tea cups and left.

I didn't believe him, did you?' whispered VG as they waited for the lift.

I've got a bad feeling about King Celeon's intentions. Why was he muttering something about Jeremy Clarkson under his breath?' he added.

I think when we've found the CEO to be, we shouldn't take him to King Celeon as he asked us to' said Kl, and they all agreed.

Nearby was a shopping mall, and for half an hour they split up to buy the CEO to be a present. They all met outside again and raring to go.

Right then, which way now?' VG said to the other two.

Let's follow that light in the sky!' suggested Kl, pointing upwards.

They all looked to the heavens.

What, that aeroplane?' asked Minoos.

No THAT one!' Kl said, jabbing a finger.

How much did you have to drink at the party Kl? THAT'S the moon' VG said.

Well, there's no other light to follow, so it's our best bet I guess' shrugged Minoos, and off they set into the chilly dark night.

So what did we all get as presents?' asked VG

Ah ha! I found a great thing. The gift of choice! An iTunes download gift voucher' Minoos exclaimed proudly.

Well I was clever, I thought given this chap will write the cheques for the next few SH games, I got him a Narwhal Submarine model kit' Kl said, smiling.

Guys! Come on, this fella is but a few hours old! Where are all the rattles and the bonnets and mittens and general goo goo gah gah baby stuff?' VG said

Sorry VG, you're right, we got carried away. What did you get him then?' they asked.

VG smiled and replied, winking:



Das Boot. Directors Cut DVD'

Kaleun1961
12-19-2007, 02:30 PM
Ha! That's what I am planning to get my first grandson. Not that one is on the horizon any time soon, but one day...

vietvettwo
12-19-2007, 02:50 PM
Lane takes a break from doing house work and checks the forum.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/lanedress.jpg

He's not sure if he should watch his favorite episode of America's Next Top Model

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/RuPaul.jpg

or simply put his favorite DVD in the old player

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/tootsie.jpg

He goes with option 3, after reading the Pharmman's caustic remarks, he waddles down to the garage and gets his party clothes out of moth balls.

Should I point out the obvious? This is getting ugly on so many levels.

vietvettwo
12-19-2007, 02:51 PM
Wait for it, put down your beer/ soda/ coffee and swallow. OK scroll down slowly



http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/laneinpink.jpg

Sparhawk81
12-19-2007, 02:55 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Das Boot, Director's Cut...

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

That's some quite good fun here RJ... keep up the good work, I've been laughing a lot!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif



@ vietvettwo: OMG!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

pharmman17
12-20-2007, 01:34 PM
I wasn't trying to be "caustic" I was just thinking and trying to plan ahead in case liddabit needed to be replaced...we don't want her turning into Britney now do we??

WilhelmSchulz.
12-20-2007, 01:40 PM
King Celeon? That sounds scarry! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

dgrayson
12-20-2007, 01:58 PM
I await the next installment with bated breath. My heart is all aflutter with anticipation.

mush1960
12-20-2007, 02:04 PM
The Narwhal kit is definitely too advanced for a young CEO to be. I'll trade it for a pair of submariners socks with P and S embroidered on them and a sacred white woolly jumper.

tuddley3
12-20-2007, 03:44 PM
Wow, this is a great thread(not just because I'm in the story). I just found this thread, mainly because one of my Christmas gifts was a Windows re-installation http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/compsmash.gif , and countless hours of downloading all the mods I had not burned to cd yet.

I have a confession to make about Part One, I am embarrassed to have to turn down Huey and Liddabit for a place to stay. I wouldn't do that in real life. Who would turn down a good Shrimp dinner(relating to "Shrimp on the barby") and a good looking lady for company http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif ( I also agree about Shep Smith, the Fox Report is the best)

I also like Vietvet's contribution to this thread. He adds what would be something like humorous commercials in between Scenes.

Also, I would like to make a request. Could there be a special part in this story that includes our dear friend DeepBlue. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif

klcarroll
12-20-2007, 03:56 PM
The Narwhal kit is definitely too advanced for a young CEO to be.


It's NEVER too soon to start teaching future Software CEOs about the virtues of the Narwhal!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

klcarroll

tuddley3
12-20-2007, 04:02 PM
Originally posted by vietvettwo:
http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/laneinpink.jpg

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif Looks like Mayor Giuliani

Edit : Oh, it is http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

The_Silent_O
12-20-2007, 04:13 PM
Also, I would like to make a request. Could there be a special part in this story that includes our dear friend DeepBlue.

Aye,...I second the nomination for our lost skipper. This is how close this forum is. I believe DeepBlue is keeping his eyes on this production.

tuddley3
12-20-2007, 04:21 PM
Originally posted by The_Silent_O:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">
Also, I would like to make a request. Could there be a special part in this story that includes our dear friend DeepBlue.

Aye,...I second the nomination for our lost skipper. This is how close this forum is. I believe DeepBlue is keeping his eyes on this production. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I still use the copy of Google Earth he sent us all. I intend to use it with my FSX(There is a new program called FS Earth, which uses Google Earth for ground texture), so Greg can fly with me.

hueywolf123
12-20-2007, 11:30 PM
Who would turn down a good Shrimp dinner(relating to "Shrimp on the barby") and a good looking lady for company
G'day Tudley, we call them 'Prawns' here (ignore that pratt Paul Hogan).
You'd be more than welcome, you and Liddabit.
On that matter, perhaps I can chuck a barbie for the whole forum.
Merry Christmas guys http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Realjambo
12-21-2007, 01:48 AM
On that matter, perhaps I can chuck a barbie for the whole forum.

What time would you like us all round Huey? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

hueywolf123
12-21-2007, 01:59 AM
About 6:00pm tomorrow, the severe storm warning we've just received should be over by then.
BYO beers though http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

vietvettwo
12-21-2007, 02:13 PM
Poor Huey, what was he thinking? Obviously it forgot that for the most part our skippers have no life, moral or common sense. If the word gets out that there's a party somewhere, don't stand in the door or you'll get trampled.

From the West Coast, our skippers set out for Huey's humble abode

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/trafficjam.jpg

Lane packs up the family and heads out from Texas

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/wagon_train_tb.jpg

Some of the skippers were at sea, but that isn't going to slow them down

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/boatpeople.jpg

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/rafting2_s.jpg

That's my damage control team at its finest.

With my flair for the dramatic, I elect to make a splashy entrance along with Raptro, Tambor, the Snake eater and Nimitz.

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/skydive.jpg

Sorry about Tambor and Raptor, it's their first jump and it was beer and burrito night at the club yesterday.

The Pharmman relaxes with his dates for the party

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/pharmmanandfriends.jpg

Why even my ex-Mother In Law shows up with some guy

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/motherinlaw.jpg

Huey realizes that the crowd may turn out to be bigger than expected, and his original shopping list may come up short

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/p38686-Maui_Hawaii-Pig_Roast.jpg

But not to worry, he calls the local catering supply house and help is on the way

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/scarycaterers.jpg

Maybe it's just me, but those two guys look way too happy to be just standing around a bunch of dead meat.

klcarroll
12-21-2007, 02:28 PM
Maybe it's just me, but those two guys look way too happy to be just standing around a bunch of dead meat.

Hey!!! ....Just wait until you see ME at my ex-wife's wake!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

klcarroll

Carotio
12-22-2007, 06:13 PM
This thread started out as a parody of the Christmas night. Now I see lots of strange pictures, so maybe I just don't follow it too closely to know WTF you all are talking about now...
So here's a nice picture to bring the story back on track, to Christmas spirits:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y288/Carotio/happyH.gif

Goose_Green
12-23-2007, 05:30 AM
Excellent thread RJ http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif I take it you had your writing jacket on while this fantastic parody was germinating in your brain http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Angel goose? Was that a reference to me? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif

Realjambo
12-23-2007, 05:54 AM
Thanks Goose. I do indeed don my writing jacket (actually it's a cardigan) when I write this stuff.

And yes, you are the Angel Gabriel - I hope you don't mind! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

I will endeavour to get the next part or rather 'Scene 4' out tonight. Thank you luvvies, you've all been dahlings!

Goose_Green
12-23-2007, 07:08 AM
Originally posted by Realjambo:
Thanks Goose. I do indeed don my writing jacket (actually it's a cardigan) when I write this stuff.

Cardigan eh? Are those still in existence? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif


And yes, you are the Angel Gabriel - I hope you don't mind! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Of course not RJ http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif In fact it will probably be the only time I will ever be angelic http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif


I will endeavour to get the next part or rather 'Scene 4' out tonight. Thank you luvvies, you've all been dahlings!

I look forward to the next installment http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Realjambo
12-23-2007, 10:53 AM
The cardigan is very old, I used to wear it at College when I studied Journalism - nearly 20 years ago!

I believe it is imbued with some mysterious creative energy from all my time sat in lectures learning how to get people to say what you wanted them to say, and not what they actually meant to say!


http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

Realjambo
12-23-2007, 02:20 PM
Scene Four

After a very long walk, and just as the sun was beginning to rise, the three wise men arrived at Bunkerratt's place.

My feet hurt' said Minoos, taking off his shoes and rubbing his toes.

You're right Minoos, they're hurting me - put your shoes back on!' VG said, holding his nose.

Hi Bunkerratt. Where's the CEO to be?' asked KL.

CEO. Mmm. CEO. Hang on. Ah yes! Down the back, third recycling bin on your right, can't miss him' BR replied.

The three wise men followed the directions and found Liddabit, Huey and the new CEO to be.

Your great worshipfulness, blessed are we to kneel before you on this most holy of nights. We have travelled far, guided by a light from the heavens, to present unto you these gifts from mankind' announced KL enigmatically.

I doubt he can understand you, I'd just put them in the shopping trolley next to him' suggested VG.

Oh. OK' said KL, a little crestfallen.

He's a good looking lad isn't he? Takes after Liddabit I'd say. Pity Messervy isn't here, he could have got some excellent photo's for the Picture a day thread' don't you think?' said Minoos, peering into the shopping trolley.

KL leaned in, smiling at the CEO to be, who then proceeded to cry.

Turning to Liddabit and Huey, VG warned them:

King Celeon is looking for the CEO to be, and you know how good his internet search skills are. He feels threatened by this new arrival, and wanted us to bring the baby to him. We suggest you get away from here and fast. Do all the wheels on that shopping trolley work?'

Where should we go?' asked Liddabit, rocking the trolley gently.

We can set you up with new identities on the forum for a start. You're gonna have to keep on the move until the CEO reaches the legal age of responsibility for himself and then you can send him off to Audible Knight, but in the meantime I suggest some IP address hopping and to do that, you're going to have to move around a bit' whispered VG.

Yeah, we sorted out a schedule on the walk over here. The forum is full of good people and we've hand selected some that won't mind putting you up for a while, and we think it's pretty fair' said Minoos, handing Huey an itinerary entitled Dodging King Celeon'

But what if they don't want us living with them?' asked Liddabit

Easy. First you tell them that this is the CEO of Ubisoft to be, and one day he'll be deciding on what games get made so if they want SH10 and all the patches that follow then they better co-operate. Secondly, you tell them the Moderators put their names down' KL said.


Huey held the sheet of paper under a street light and began to read:

1. Kaleun1961 two weeks

2. GoldenEagle8 three weeks

3. GeoffWessex three weeks

4. wh1skea - four weeks

5. Holtz four weeks

6. Foehammer five weeks

7. Doug.d two months

8. U301 two months

9. Carotio three months

10. Wilhelm Schulz four months

11. The Silent O five months

12. Lane2512 - 15 years

Seems fair' agreed Huey. Come on Liddabit; get your shoes back on, looks like we have to get a move on Who's pushing the trolley first? You or me?'

And so it was. The CEO to be, a mere babe in arms, defenceless and vulnerable was pushed in that abandoned shopping trolley for many miles, moving from one refuge to another to escape the evil King Celeon.

The good people of the SH forum hid him well, and as he grew, he learned from them the sweet spots of tankers, merchants and Battleships. By the time he was four, he could name every Destroyer class there was, their tonnage and top speeds. By his fifth birthday he could recount the draft of any vessel, and knew to set Torpedo depth to a metre below that. At six years old, he could calculate Angle On Bow and also to open the Torpedo doors three seconds before ordering firing. Seven years old, he trounced everyone in the Screenshot Competition, taking first, second and third places.

In fact, at just 18 months old, a golden moment that Liddabit and Huey would treasure forever the first words from the CEO to be were spoken:

DIVE DIVE DIVE!'

In an instant, the future of Silent Hunter was assured, and all was well with the world.

The end.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kaleun's and Commanders, put your hands together, take them apart, put them back together again and repeat Your cast:

The Virgin Mary Liddabit
Joseph Hueywolf

The Angel Gabriel Goose Green

The CEO to be Played by himself

The one to be booed King Celeon Celeon999

Innkeeper 1 Marisuzj
Innkeeper 2 Tuddley
Innkeeper 3 Bunkerratt

Shepherd 1 Pharman
Shepherd 2 Vietvet
Shepherd 3 - Tambor

Wise Man 1 Viking Grandad
Wise Man 2 Minoos
Wise Man 3 Klcarroll

The Driver dgrayson

The missing Photographer Messervy

Safe House Owners:

Kaleun1961
GoldenEagle8
GeoffWessex
wh1skea
Holtz
Foehammer
Doug.d
U301
Carotio
Wilhelm Schulz
The Silent O
Lane2512

There is of course someone I would have loved to have included. Many of us were friends of DeepBlueWolf and we all remember the tragic events of August this year. I hope I've given you a laugh too DBW, wherever you may be.

Merry Christmas everyone, thanks for reading.

Celeon999
12-23-2007, 02:28 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif


Most excellent http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

The evil King Celeon huh ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Celeon likes that http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/crackwhip.gif

tambor198
12-23-2007, 02:30 PM
I just glad you didn't cast me as one of the wise men, RJ. I couldn't of handled the part. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif



Merry Xmas to you also, RJ. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Messervy
12-23-2007, 02:34 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif
What we really need to be weary off is not "King Celeon" but "EA Games". http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

GoldenEagle8
12-23-2007, 02:42 PM
Bravo!!

Very well told!!
Much fun reading that!

OH NO!

the wise men didn't give them the traveler's (Hobo) Code!!

hobo code (http://www.slackaction.com/signroll.htm) http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Sorry, could not resist that one. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

So, RJ, will you save this one for next year, or are you going to write something new every year?

Very nicely done, again! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

PS. Thanks for including me. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

One more thing: How did lane end up with them for 15 years!?

mush1960
12-23-2007, 02:57 PM
Hey, guys, I'm feeling a bit left out here http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/sadeyes.gif couldn't you have found a little walk-on part for me? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/sadeyes.gif

never mind, it was a good laugh! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif Merry Christmas to one and all. And, by the way, He's Behind You! (oh no, he isn't! Oh yes he is!) etc...

cpt-rusty
12-23-2007, 03:03 PM
quote" lane 15 year" urm remember lane, you dont open the beer cupboard until hes ceo.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
and "DIVE DIVE DIVE"
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

vietvettwo
12-23-2007, 05:05 PM
Great job RJ. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my fellow skippers. When can we start taking pot shots at each other again?

lane2512
12-23-2007, 05:16 PM
15 years!!!!!!????????? 15????????

That means I get stuck with the orthodontist, and driving lessons, insurance, sports( mini-van hell), wisdom teeth, first dance, proms,
college tuition!!!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Well...at least after 15 years I can make sure the UBI CEO gets in a bit of BULL RIDING here in Texas.
......................

Great job RJ!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Don't worry Mush....you can saddle the bull for the CEO! Just come on over anytime!

Liddabit
12-23-2007, 06:49 PM
Huzzah =D!

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

WilhelmSchulz.
12-23-2007, 07:06 PM
Originally posted by Realjambo:
There is of course someone I would have loved to have included. Many of us were friends of DeepBlueWolf and we all remember the tragic events of August this year. I hope I've given you a laugh too DBW, wherever you may be.


Yes the holodays must be hard on DBW's family. Please lets keep him and his family in our prayers. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif

tambor198
12-23-2007, 08:34 PM
Originally posted by WilhelmSchulz.:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Realjambo:
There is of course someone I would have loved to have included. Many of us were friends of DeepBlueWolf and we all remember the tragic events of August this year. I hope I've given you a laugh too DBW, wherever you may be.


Yes the holodays must be hard on DBW's family. Please lets keep him and his family in our prayers. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>



All I can say to that, WS is AMEN. God Bless DBW wherever he may be.

GoldenEagle8
12-23-2007, 09:44 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

vietvettwo
12-24-2007, 08:45 PM
We may have missed the obvious in our little play. If I remember the "story" correctly, the three Wise Men saw a star in the East. Well maybe, just maybe, this year it wasn't a star at all. It might have been an F-16 on full afterburner, with Portuguese Air Force markings.



http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z179/vietvettwo/f16-2.jpg



Merry Christmas Greg and family.

wh1skea
12-26-2007, 07:10 AM
Originally posted by lane2512:
15 years!!!!!!????????? 15????????

That means I get stuck with the orthodontist, and driving lessons, insurance, sports( mini-van hell), wisdom teeth, first dance, proms,
college tuition!!!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Well...at least after 15 years I can make sure the UBI CEO gets in a bit of BULL RIDING here in Texas.
......................

Great job RJ!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Don't worry Mush....you can saddle the bull for the CEO! Just come on over anytime!

Hate to break it to you Lane, but I did the math. You will be getting the new CEO right around the start of the "terrible twos"..... Have Fun! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

The_Silent_O
12-26-2007, 11:17 AM
Great, I'll teach the CEO some outdoor survival skills and and how to eat with a spoon. Perhaps he can teach me how to finally get to the magical 100K (jeez...I'd be happy with a 50K patrol every now and then!).

Wilhelm Schulz -- make sure you give me the car seat when we do transfer!

Does this mean that Libbabit and Huey are moving in with me also??? Guys, bring your own towels!! The hot tub gets a lot of use here in the 'Bunker' ...