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sunflower1
01-20-2005, 09:58 AM
I know lots of you guys have kids and know how to read and think clearly, anybody got some advice on how to handle a 9 month old boy who is so interested in everything in the world that he won't sleep until he's nearly comatose?

I remember a post a while ago where somebody was seeking advice on how to best shave his face and he got some great responses. Help me out here, this is my first baby.

The little guy just gets grouchy and bossy and bleary eye'd and then will scream bloody murder if you put him down for a nap. He doesn't seem to get a headache from crying.... Entertain him in the slightest and his attitude improves to perfect- until you turn your head to look out the window-then he screams and rubs his eyes.

I don't think he's got an earache or anything physically wrong with him other than a slight cold. I feed him and diaper him at every turn.

He'll keep himself up until he sleeps 14 hours solid. Its not driving me crazy, but its hell on him and my wife.

adlabs6
01-20-2005, 10:08 AM
Try laying him down, and then run the vacuum cleaner around the room for a while and see if he'll nod off.

Owlsphone
01-20-2005, 11:17 AM
How about putting some toys and things in the crib to keep him occupied by himself. Eventually, he may nod off on his own.

Can he play on his own or does he need someone else to entertain him?

VonKlugermon
01-20-2005, 11:35 AM
You've got to gently teach the kid that he isn't the boss. From day one, you need to set a bed/nap time and stick with it. It takes patience and you really have to work at not "checking on them" every 30-seconds, but here's our rule of thumb: (two daughters). Put them down in the crib with favorite blanket/toy and tell them "nighty-night". Lights off, door closed, walk away. (stay in house, naturally!) If the crying starts, let them go for a minimum of 20 minutes before walking in and gently soothing. Repeat, increasing time between checks. Eventually the child will figure out that your not gone forever, and go to sleep.

It worked for us,

Willy

SeminoleX
01-20-2005, 12:37 PM
http://www.benadryl.com/images/logo_anim.gif

sunflower1
01-20-2005, 12:48 PM
Thanks so much

At times some background noise can send him off to sleep, but he's in a state of agitation when he's tired, right up until he's asleep, so its an opportunistic tactic. He can entertain himself well when he's rested, as it devolves, he can't. Eventually the toys don't work, just interaction with somebody and then that devolves into the boy-tyrant.

VonKlugermon, this is the tack I have been on with roughly that arrangement, but I like your attention to detail, thanks. The art is definitely in the "gentle" aspect of the endeavor and that's a challenge.

His mother has Martha Stewart's energy level and his father would explore anything for food, so it all makes sense. We get what we deserve!

sunflower1
01-20-2005, 12:49 PM
SeminoleX, LOL!!

archermav
01-20-2005, 01:09 PM
Sunflower,
My lad is now coming up to 8 months. He is my first and I did as VonKluggy stated.

It may seem really cruel to some and his mother didn't like it but his first night home he was straight into is own cot and spent the night by himself.

Its been this way ever since and by six months he was sleeping straight through. He will nod off by himself. I just leave his favourite 'comfort' toy and he cuddles this.

My routine is bath at 6.00pm, last bottle then bed by 7.00pm and it works a treat for us.

Routine seems to be the order of the day mate, just keep doing the same thing and it will work.

Good luck.

Billy_BigBoy
01-20-2005, 01:14 PM
I agree with the part VonKrugermon told (2 kids, easy girl and very hard boy) but I want to add it takes at least three day's and nights for the kid to change. After that day's and nights are really fun again, for all of you (In our case anyway)
The hardest part is the crying. Be sure they are not ill or in pain. You can have a look now and than, but DON'T pick them up. Just talk like VonKrugermon said.

Swivet
01-20-2005, 01:48 PM
R i t a l i n

nickdanger3
01-20-2005, 02:09 PM
Interesting problem since it sounds less like the old "How do I get my kid to sleep THROUGH the night?" question than "how do I get him to SLEEP at all?".

I'll assume that you've tried that old stand-by, taking him out for a drive...works great especially if you don't wait until things are past the point of exhaustion.

He's still young enough that you can carry him with a baby bjorn or a backpack. You might try those to see if he will relax in there.

I think you nailed it when you said that he's simply overstimulated. Try dark quiet and very snugly swaddled. Whatever seems to work, have it ready and waiting before things reach the crisis stage.

Sounds like you have a kid on the far side of the bell curve when it comes to sleeping.

GreyBeast
01-20-2005, 02:12 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sunflower1:
The little guy just gets grouchy and bossy and bleary eye'd and then will scream bloody murder if you put him down for a nap. He doesn't seem to get a headache from crying.... Entertain him in the slightest and his attitude improves to perfect- until you turn your head to look out the window-then he screams and rubs his eyes.

I feed him and diaper him at every turn.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh no! Someone starts a thread about the whereabouts of RBJ, and now THIS... his reincarnation!

Good luck!

Obi_Kwiet
01-20-2005, 03:43 PM
First make sure he's not in pain and that he's just fussing. Then if he was like me, you gotta spank him. Don't do actually physical harm him, but make it sting. He'll get the idea. After about 10,000 spankings... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif Humans are incredibly dense and stubborn. The trick is to be more stubborn than he is. I'm only 15 and haven't got a kid yet (duh) but I've learned a lot from my parents and older relatives.

LStarosta
01-20-2005, 03:48 PM
They used to put me on (not in) the washing machine and the soft vibrations and the noise usually put me to sleep.

tsisqua
01-20-2005, 04:57 PM
If I understand what you are saying, then it would be a good idea to take him to the pediatrician, and get a professional opinion. There are any number of things that can cause this, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. There was a joke about the ritilan posted, but I was not hearing my son speak until he was 4 years old. He is severely ADHD, and the doctor who caught it is has my undying gratitude.

I had watched him, quite literally, run for 3 days without sleeping. Since we got treatment for him life has become more like normal for us. He never crawled, but jumped up and ran a few steps, falling down, and continuing until he was simply running. This all started while he was in his mothers tummy. There was no rest for either of us. He would run and kick through his mom, right into me.

Now, if it isn't all this bad, don't worry. But, once again, I would seek a professional if it seems somehow unusually high activity is becoming a real problem.

And don't let people on forums prescribe medicine for your precious child.

Tsisqua

Airmail109
01-20-2005, 05:16 PM
eh, i was like that when I was 5 lol....Id never go to sleep and would always be silly. Im fine now though. Oh.....never prescribe Ritalin....my dad works at a school for naughty childeren basically....the kids often have ADHD and ritalins seriously messed them up. Diet also seems to be a big problem. The ritalin thing is my own opinion though.

VO1-VC
01-20-2005, 05:16 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sunflower1:
The little guy just gets grouchy and bossy and bleary eye'd and then will scream bloody murder if you put him down for a nap. He doesn't seem to get a headache from crying.... Entertain him in the slightest and his attitude improves to perfect- until you turn your head to look out the window-then he screams and rubs his eyes.

I don't think he's got an earache or anything physically wrong with him other than a slight cold. I feed him and diaper him at every turn.

He'll keep himself up until he sleeps 14 hours solid. Its not driving me crazy, but its hell on him and my wife. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First, I have 3 children - now grown. I also see this stuff from time to time on a "work" basis. The problem is easily fixed.

Your issue with the little fellow is actually quite common, and your post was quite good at identifying the nature of the problem. If you put him down he crys and screams - pick him up and everything is fine. At this stage, the baby is in charge of things in your home - not the parents.

Young parents will do almost anything to make sure the child is not in distress - including crying. I would tend to agree that it is unlikely the child is ill if he stops crying when you pick him up. In fact, seriously ill children are most often lethargic and don't make a fuss - so I would not worry about that.

You will need to reverse the "in charge" situation gently. At aproximately the same time each evening after he is fed and cleaned, put him in the crib. Reassure the child (they understand many things) they are OK, and leave the room for 10 minutes. DO NOT GO IN - PERIOD. After 10 minutes go get your son and pick him up for 5 minutes. Repeat this process four times - don't forget to reassure him when you put him down again. The next evening increase the time to 15 minutes in the crib and still pick him up for 5 minutes. Again, repeat four times. Increase the crib time on a daily basis until you get to 30 minutes in the crib. Then, maintain the 30 minutes in the crib and 5 minutes out for several more days. The problem should be fixed in 7-10 days.

If you give in, this exercise will not work. Do it gently, and you and your wife will be much better off. So will your son. Hope this helps.

GreyBeast
01-20-2005, 05:16 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tsisqua:
If I understand what you are saying, then it would be a good idea to take him to the pediatrician, and get a professional opinion. There are any number of things that can cause this, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. There was a joke about the ritilan posted, but I was not hearing my son speak until he was 4 years old. He is severely ADHD, and the doctor who caught it is has my undying gratitude.

I had watched him, quite literally, run for 3 days without sleeping. Since we got treatment for him life has become more like normal for us. He never crawled, but jumped up and ran a few steps, falling down, and continuing until he was simply running. This all started while he was in his mothers tummy. There was no rest for either of us. He would run and kick through his mom, right into me.

Now, if it isn't all this bad, don't worry. But, once again, I would seek a professional if it seems somehow unusually high activity is becoming a real problem.

And don't let people on forums prescribe medicine for your precious child.

Tsisqua <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tsisqua!

You might not have realized, but I've been obnoxious with you in at least ONE occasion I don´t even recall the details of (and I don't want to make an effort to remember, either).

Nevertheless, I've always "seen" that you must be one hell of a nice guy and you let it show a lot. It must be the Cherokee Indian in you.

I spent a day with Indians from Canada in a "sweat tent/hut". Very NOBLE people.


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LStarosta:
They used to put me on (not in) the washing machine and the soft vibrations and the noise usually put me to sleep.

LStarosta <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, THAT explains it...
The next step is realizing that it shook you into believing you're NOT the gal in your sig... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

To sunflower1:

The best to you and your wife and baby. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/heart.gif

sunflower1
01-20-2005, 05:18 PM
Thanks all. When somebody says "ritalin" I just assume the best and figure they're feeling my pain.

Larry, thanks. It might actually be that way, he has half-siblings and a mother who are nearer than not to that end of the bell-curve. It really is a question of "how to get him to sleep" rather than how to get him to sleep all night. I have the intestinal fortitude to enforce a pattern but I just haven't found a groove yet.

It does strike me that he could go from not really crawling to trying to run.

I appreciate the help.

Obi-Kwiet, your memories of being civilized jibe with mine, and I have to peer back through an extra 21 years to remember it, but he's not quite old enough to understand that yet. I think I'll know the moment he is. Probably sometime shortly after he says, "no!"

I do especially try to time trips in the truck with the time for naps, works everytime and I think I'll give the washing machine thing a go right now!! Literally. Great idea!

This RBJ character- I saw him post once and his avatar bounced up and down like a man possessed, and the unibrow, the whole thing is very impressive. And somebody said something about his unibrow being a better pilot than they were. I hope he's not gone missing, that's a real asset anywhere.

tsisqua
01-20-2005, 05:24 PM
Sunflower, good luck, and all our best http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Greybeast,
I don't remember the occasion either http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
All water under the bridge, Sir http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

Tsisqua

GreyBeast
01-20-2005, 05:27 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tsisqua:

Greybeast,
I don't remember the occasion either http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
All water under the bridge, Sir http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

Tsisqua <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Airmail109
01-20-2005, 05:30 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Ritalin! Keep away!!! ITS PURE EVILLLLLLLLL! Soz this is my own biased opinion. LOL i cant believe that even now RBJ is still talked about! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif Hes even on freaking google searches!

heywooood
01-20-2005, 05:31 PM
..My son is 18 now but when he was a lil' feller, we used to read to him.

Usually one short story and he was out - always at the same time in the evening 6:30 - 7:00

Sometimes soft music would help too...every child is different but this worked for us.

Lav69
01-20-2005, 05:32 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by VonKlugermon:
You've got to gently teach the kid that he isn't the boss. From day one, you need to set a bed/nap time and stick with it. It takes patience and you really have to work at not "checking on them" every 30-seconds, but here's our rule of thumb: (two daughters). Put them down in the crib with favorite blanket/toy and tell them "nighty-night". Lights off, door closed, walk away. (stay in house, naturally!) If the crying starts, let them go for a minimum of 20 minutes before walking in and gently soothing. Repeat, increasing time between checks. Eventually the child will figure out that your not gone forever, and go to sleep.

It worked for us,

Willy <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Take this as gospel. I have 2 boys. My oldest will be 3 Feb.6 and my youngest is 15 months. It is time for discipline on your part by adhering to a set nap and bedtime schedule. It is time for some tough love as well in letting the child cry. It won't hurt them. We found it absolutly necessary with both our boys. Believe it or not, even at 9 months, your little bundle of joy is testing the boundaries. You have to be the boss and set the boundaries. Do not bend or you will regret it.

sunflower1
01-20-2005, 05:36 PM
VO1-VC thanks and check PM

LStarosta
01-20-2005, 06:41 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GreyBeast:


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LStarosta:
They used to put me on (not in) the washing machine and the soft vibrations and the noise usually put me to sleep.

LStarosta <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, THAT explains it...
The next step is realizing that it shook you into believing you're NOT the gal in your sig... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope... I'm quite sure Julia Schultz isn't endowed with male genitalia, unlike me.

triggerhappyfin
01-21-2005, 01:39 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sunflower1:
I know lots of you guys have kids and know how to read and think clearly, anybody got some advice on how to handle a 9 month old boy who is so interested in everything in the world that he won't sleep until he's nearly comatose?

I remember a post a while ago where somebody was seeking advice on how to best shave his face and he got some great responses. Help me out here, this is my first baby.

The little guy just gets grouchy and bossy and bleary eye'd and then will scream bloody murder if you put him down for a nap. He doesn't seem to get a headache from crying.... Entertain him in the slightest and his attitude improves to perfect- until you turn your head to look out the window-then he screams and rubs his eyes.

I don't think he's got an earache or anything physically wrong with him other than a slight cold. I feed him and diaper him at every turn.

He'll keep himself up until he sleeps 14 hours solid. Its not driving me crazy, but its hell on him and my wife. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you putting him in a bed of his own?

If so, try to get him asleep lyin on your chest or on your arm. Perhaps he want to be near you and has a need of your body warmth and calmness(you really need to be calm yourself to get a baby sleeping). Singin lullabys makes wonders too. A golden moment of togetherness with your little one. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/heart.gif
In my opinion it´s a bit cruel to let a baby cry it self asleep. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif It´s not a matter of "who´s in charge here" - the child needs you!
Think of it - 9 months inside mom´s body and whoops - in to your own bed...alone = http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif.

I´m a father of six and this is what I´ve done to get them asleep. Hope it´ll work for you. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

MO_JOJO
01-21-2005, 02:41 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Obi_Kwiet:
First make sure he's not in pain and that he's just fussing. Then if he was like me, you gotta spank him. Don't do actually physical harm him, but make it sting. He'll get the idea. After about 10,000 spankings... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif Humans are incredibly dense and stubborn. The trick is to be more stubborn than he is. I'm only 15 and haven't got a kid yet (duh) but I've learned a lot from my parents and older relatives. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sunflower1, I am sure that you know not to spank an infant, but just want to be sure. You will be sorry if you follow this advice above.

It does sound like the whole "who's in charge here?" crisis, and I concur with the advice of most of the posts here, which are very similar for the most part.

Once your child realizes he's not the boss, one way to help a tired child fall asleep when all else fails is to go for a ride in the car...with the child, I mean. Put the little guy in his car seat, (I suggest buying a "Baby Einstein" CD and playing that) and go for a nice drive. Most kids I know of fall asleep in minutes, if not seconds. The problem comes with getting them out of the seat and into bed without waking them, so you may have to drive 15 min. or so to really knock them out first.

Good luck, and don't give in. You are doing him a favor by establishing your authority not only at nap time, but throughout his life. And remember that no child has died of crying.

triggerhappyfin
01-21-2005, 03:04 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MO_JOJO:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Obi_Kwiet:
First make sure he's not in pain and that he's just fussing. Then if he was like me, you gotta spank him. Don't do actually physical harm him, but make it sting. He'll get the idea. After about 10,000 spankings... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif Humans are incredibly dense and stubborn. The trick is to be more stubborn than he is. I'm only 15 and haven't got a kid yet (duh) but I've learned a lot from my parents and older relatives. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sunflower1, I am sure that you know not to spank an infant, but just want to be sure. You will be sorry if you follow this advice above.

It does sound like the whole "who's in charge here?" crisis, and I concur with the advice of most of the posts here, which are very similar for the most part.

Once your child realizes he's not the boss, one way to help a tired child fall asleep when all else fails is to go for a ride in the car...with the child, I mean. Put the little guy in his car seat, (I suggest buying a "Baby Einstein" CD and playing that) and go for a nice drive. Most kids I know of fall asleep in minutes, if not seconds. The problem comes with getting them out of the seat and into bed without waking them, so you may have to drive 15 min. or so to really knock them out first.

Good luck, and don't give in. You are doing him a favor by establishing your authority not only at nap time, but throughout his life. And remember that no child has died of crying. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did´nt see that about spanking before... here in Sweden it is forbidden by law to fysicaly or psycologicaly abuse a child.

In my opinion no right minded adult raises his or her hand against a child.

Please you all, dont consider this problem to be a struggle about "who´s the boss here".
Give the child all your love and care while it is little and respect during upbringing and you will reseive the same on your old age from your child.

A child crying at bedtime just need your love and care and to get to rest in a loving athmosphere, not to fight about superiority it dont understand anything about anyway.

Bill_Door
01-21-2005, 04:11 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by VO1-VC:
You will need to reverse the "in charge" situation gently. At aproximately the same time each evening after he is fed and cleaned, put him in the crib. Reassure the child (they understand many things) they are OK, and leave the room for 10 minutes. DO NOT GO IN - PERIOD. After 10 minutes go get your son and pick him up for 5 minutes. Repeat this process four times - don't forget to reassure him when you put him down again. The next evening increase the time to 15 minutes in the crib and still pick him up for 5 minutes. Again, repeat four times. Increase the crib time on a daily basis until you get to 30 minutes in the crib. Then, maintain the 30 minutes in the crib and 5 minutes out for several more days. The problem should be fixed in 7-10 days.

If you give in, this exercise will not work. Do it gently, and you and your wife will be much better off. So will your son. Hope this helps. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats the way it works with my daughter after she dont let us sleep for 15 month.
The only different was, we started it a little softer. Let her alone for 3 min., then 5, then 7 and so on. But you have to be consequent, otherwise it dont work.

But first I would suggest to watch him for about 10 days. Write a log about his sleeping behavior.
Maybe he gets to much sleep during the day?
If he needs about 10h sleep and is used to a nap of four hours at noon, then you cant expect a quit night.

Also if you take your time to look about the log, you might see some problems you created by your own.
In our case we used to give her a bottle of tea to start sleeping. Works fine - but the problem is that everybody awakes a few times during the night - even adults. So, if they are awake and the situation is not the same as it was when they fall asleep (of course we removed the teabottle after she sleeps)-> panic!
Same goes for pacifier or if you let them sleep in your arms. It works, but it backfires!

Ritalin - I would suggest to stay away from it.
In most cases you can solve the problem by changing the diet.
Same kids are allergic against some kind of food, so, with Ritalin you just cure the symptoms but not the Problem.
And even if they are healthy; if a kid is feed mostly with fat and sugar (plus no sport) hyperactive behavior is no surprise.

But after all, there is hope: Time is on your side! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Good luck!

B16Enk
01-21-2005, 05:24 AM
As a father of 5, oldest is 18 youngest is 4 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif, I can say that VO1-VC has put it just right.

Also worthy of consideration is Chiropractic. My three youngest have regular visits and have benefited enormously.

My 8 yr old son was considered by his school/school paediatrician to be ADHD. Our Chiropractor specialise in Cranial manipulation, this has worked absolute wonders with him. The theory is that during birth his head (as with all natural births) was 'upset'. The cranial chiropractic actually re-seats the plates that our skulls are made up from.

I met a pair of twins at the Chiropractors practice one day, they were happily burbling to each other and full of smiles. I remarked to their Mum how cute that was. She then told me that for the first 6 months of their lives neither she nor her husband got any sleep to speak of, The twins screamed throughout the night and largely the day too.
Out of desperation they followed a friends recommendation and took them to see our Chiro.
The results were dramatic and within 4 weeks they were 'normal' happy kids.

My father is a master herbalist (medical herbs) and my wife was a social worker dealing with kids/adults with a range of physical disorders. They both concur that Ritalin is a last resort medication, and even then neither would probably use it seeing the reports that are now starting to surface.

There are better and more natural ways of helping our little ones.

An easy and pleasant one for over-wrought and/or over-tired children is a Chamomile bath, using Chamomile teabags. This will be absorbed by the skin (the body's largest organ http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif) and will aid in relaxation for the child..or even the parent too http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif It is harmless and easy to administer!

Bill_Door made an excellent point on diet, two of our kids suffer eczema. They have both noted with our guidance that sugar, in their case, triggers the outbreaks. They now limit their intake of sweets/candy preferring fresh fruit!

I could go on, but thankfully for you guys I'll stop now http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

jensenpark
01-21-2005, 05:47 AM
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by VO1-VC:
You will need to reverse the "in charge" situation gently. At aproximately the same time each evening after he is fed and cleaned, put him in the crib. Reassure the child (they understand many things) they are OK, and leave the room for 10 minutes. DO NOT GO IN - PERIOD. After 10 minutes go get your son and pick him up for 5 minutes. Repeat this process four times - don't forget to reassure him when you put him down again. The next evening increase the time to 15 minutes in the crib and still pick him up for 5 minutes. Again, repeat four times. Increase the crib time on a daily basis until you get to 30 minutes in the crib. Then, maintain the 30 minutes in the crib and 5 minutes out for several more days. The problem should be fixed in 7-10 days.

If you give in, this exercise will not work. Do it gently, and you and your wife will be much better off. So will your son. Hope this helps.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think this is commonly referred to as "Furbering" the baby - it's from the Furber method devised by a Dr. Ferber (go figure). You may need to check if 9 months is old enough...my wife seems to recall 12 months being the age recommeded to start.
And stick to a routine.

My first was like for the first 12 months...never needed sleep. Freaked me out.

This method is not easy...hard to sit still while your child screams bloody murder (and they will), but after a few days you'll be thankful.

triggerhappyfin
01-21-2005, 06:25 AM
On the other hand.....let the kid fly the TB-3 to battle....then he surely fall asleep before getting there.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

sunflower1
01-21-2005, 07:17 AM
Triggerhappy has diagnosed it perfectly! I've let him sit in my lap and watch me fly the single seat Sturmovik!!! He's sitting there thinking, "gosh, it can hold its own with any AI aircraft except an LA-7 and those guns are lethal up to a kilometer, and we haven't even started talking about what's under the wings, what am I doing in a CRIB??"

I must Google Ferber today and read in detail, thank you.

Corporal punishment is very unpopular in the United States and can land you in a heap of trouble. It was used very sparingly on me, and if I remember correctly, I was always asking for it, if not expecting it. If I can do as well as my father in this respect, I shant have done poorly.

Its a warm feeling to wake up to people taking a little time to share their experience, thank you.

Eveyrbody, and baby, are different, I suppose. We'll start logging his sleep and see if we can figure out something there.

European researchers, researching the devestation of AIDS in subsaharan Africa discovered that a certain group's children surpassed western children on all metrics of development and the observation they made was that the children were always held by somebody.

B16Enk
01-21-2005, 11:59 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sunflower1:

European researchers, researching the devestation of AIDS in subsaharan Africa discovered that a certain group's children surpassed western children on all metrics of development and the observation they made was that the children were always held by somebody. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Amen to that, despite the dire warnings from midwives and the press ours slept in our bed for first few months, then a cot (crib) in our room until they were over 1yr old. As mum was feeding them it was also convenient, and reassuring to both them and us http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Owlsphone
01-21-2005, 03:53 PM
What are the odds?! Today in Psychology of Human Development we talked for an hour about this exact topic.

VC is 100% correct.

BUT, it only works after the baby is 8 months old. Before 8 months, the baby has no concept of permenant existence. So when you leave the room, the baby doesn't even think you exist anymore - In fact they dont care anymore. Before the age of 8 months, a baby is incapable of manipulative thinking...and therefore won't cry because he/she wants attention. They will only cry when they are hungry/too hot/cold etc.

After 8 months however, the child develops that sense of existence. When you leave the room, you still exist to them. This is when they can begin to cry for attention.

So Jensenpark, you can start that program at 8 months, not 12.

Hope that helps.

sunflower1
01-21-2005, 11:08 PM
Too Good!!! Thank you. My wife really appreciates the input.

This does exactly identify the change I've seen. The clearest example of it happened when I expiremented with crossing a direct challenge with a larger one.

HE GRINNED.

I have seen it half a dozen times now. He gets bossy, I get bad-a$$ed then I see him smirk and he cleans it up. Fascinating....

Teaching mama is gonna be the trick. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif