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Taylortony
02-21-2004, 05:50 PM
The mind boggles sometimes....

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

An Example below of the quality of the stuff in the above link.

conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.


Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
Pause.

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
Customer: "Ok."
I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.


Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."
Pause.


Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

[This message was edited by Taylortony on Sun February 22 2004 at 06:00 AM.]

Taylortony
02-21-2004, 05:50 PM
The mind boggles sometimes....

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

An Example below of the quality of the stuff in the above link.

conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.


Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
Pause.

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
Customer: "Ok."
I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.


Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."
Pause.


Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

[This message was edited by Taylortony on Sun February 22 2004 at 06:00 AM.]

p1ngu666
02-21-2004, 05:56 PM
OUCH

http://www.pingu666.modded.me.uk/mysig3.jpg

-HH-Dubbo
02-21-2004, 06:04 PM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-mad.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/blink.gif
LOL! What can one say? If you don't laugh, you'll cry.....


http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/nightschpanker/F1000016.JPG
There is no leading cause of death for people aged over 100

clint-ruin
02-21-2004, 06:04 PM
Most who have staffed a call centre phone line or a universitys helpdesk counter at one point in their life have pretty similar stories. Thankfully that's a long time past in my career but I deeply sympathise with anyone who has to do it :/

There really is nothing like working one of those kinds of jobs to make you doubt whether human beings really are the smartest creatures on the planet :>

http://home.iprimus.com.au/djgwen/fb/leninkoba.jpg

carguy_
02-21-2004, 06:08 PM
LMAO OMFG!!! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

You spoke with that customer?

http://carguy.w.interia.pl/tracki/sig23d.jpg

TheGozr
02-21-2004, 06:14 PM
LOL...

-GOZR
http://www.french.themotorhead.com/themotorhead_fighters/images/pix/il2fbtmhlogosmall.jpg <--Uncensored version IL2fb here (http://www.french.themotorhead.com/themotorhead_fighters/)

Fender_74
02-21-2004, 06:36 PM
some people are thick as pig poo http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

arcadeace
02-21-2004, 06:56 PM
Thanks for sharing it. Close to a belly laugh http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://www.onpoi.net/ah/pics/users/ah_222_1073167658.jpg

AJRobson
02-21-2004, 08:20 PM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gifhttp://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

That website is awesome! Thanks.

http://home.comcast.net/~ajrobson/screens/sig1.jpg

pourshot
02-22-2004, 01:56 AM
This is all I can say http://members.optusnet.com.au/~andycarroll68/keyboard.gif

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~andycarroll68/mybaby.jpeg.JPG
Ride It Like Ya Stole It

VF-17_Jolly
02-22-2004, 04:06 AM
Exellent site,one that tickled me....

Customer: I have a cursing flasher http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://vvs.hobbyvista.com/ModelArticles/Grinberg/spit5/orig_spit5vvs.jpg

Hunter82
02-22-2004, 04:52 AM
I would have given her a verbal thrashing http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/mockface.gif

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robban75
02-22-2004, 05:10 AM
Ouuh! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/blink.gif

That's really funny, and yet so very sad!

http://members.chello.se/unni/D-9.JPG

When it comes to aircombat, I'd rather be lucky than good any day!

SeaFireLIV
02-22-2004, 05:17 AM
Yep. Nothing a person does surprises me any more....

SeaFireLIV...

http://img12.photobucket.com/albums/v31/SeaFireLIV/wrestlearm.jpg
The Fights continue out of the Servers...

rangooon
02-22-2004, 06:48 AM
so there i am at work starting the day with a computer boot...and the monitor doesn't come on. bummer. it always comes on. now what's the problem now with this damn stupid piece of crap computer?!! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

so i call the company help desk and explain my problem. they ask "is the monitor turned on?" and in my most condescending voice reply "yes, of course it is"!

so together we can't figure out the problem so they dispatch a techno-dude to help.

in the meantime, trying to fix the damn thing myself, i flip the monitor switch just for grins only to find out, to my horror, that it wasn't turned on. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

quickly, i call the help desk back and proclaim that i fixed it myself...i don't remember if i ate crow, but i do remember it's bitter taste. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

can't believe i was such a goof! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://home.bellsouth.net/coDataImages/p/Groups/118/118940/pages/277850/30.jpg

capt_frank on HL http://home.bellsouth.net/coDataImages/p/Groups/118/118940/pages/277850/girl38none.JPG

M0NS
02-22-2004, 07:20 AM
Now that's what potentially leads to a first degree homocide...

S!

M0NS

"So when Diogenes perceived that he was greatly excited and quite keyed up in mind with expectancy, he toyed with him and pulled him about in the hope that somehow he might be moved from his pride and thirst for glory and be able to sober up a little. For he noticed that at one time he was delighted, and at another grieved at the same thing, and that his soul was as unsettled as the weather at the solstices when both rain and sunshine come from the very same source."

(Dio Chrysostom "Discourse" 4.77-78)

VW-IceFire
02-22-2004, 08:04 AM
Having dealt with this kind of situation before...its painfully obvious to me (and others) that these people probably shouldn't operate computers or complex machinery. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

http://home.cogeco.ca/~cczerneda/sigs/temp_sig1.jpg
The New IL2 Database is Coming Soon!

JimRockford
02-22-2004, 09:30 AM
What's funny though, is that the competent tech support people that apparently know how to help someone and can lead them thru a 15 minute complex custom setup always get the totally comp illiterate callers. If I call tech support I always get the idiot support tech telling me I only need to defrag my hard drive or reinstall my OS, to solve all my problems.

Well not always. A long time ago I had a USRobotics USB ISDN adapter that wouldn't work
with USB. It also supported a serial COMM port connection that did work. The tech support guy actually gave me a file off their FTP site that corrected the problem and allowed the adapter to function with USB. I recall thinkking how pleasant it was that a call to tech support had helped for once.

wayno7777
02-22-2004, 10:16 AM
Being a truck driver I run into similar situations almost daily, I sympethize!! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Wir greifen an!
Erich 'Bubi' Hartmann

Any landing you can walk away frm is a good one!

diomedes33
02-22-2004, 10:22 AM
When I was working tech support a couple years one of the "old guys" told me about these stories.

Customer: Hi, ...Uh my computer won't start
Tech: Ok, first did you check if its plugged in?
Customer: Just a sec, let me get a flash light.
Tech: Why do you need a flashlight?
Customer: Power is out.

----

Customer: My coffee holder is broken on my computer
Tech: What? Where's the coffee holder on your computer?
Customer: You know the thing in front by the disk drive, that slides out.
Tech: You mean the CD-ROM?!

since I heard these second hand don't know if they are true or not, but still funny just the same.

-dio

http://www.public.asu.edu/~guthriec/ubi_sig.jpg

x6BL_Brando
02-22-2004, 11:05 AM
There's an old joke in the motor trade about a woman who brings in her new Mini 'cos it ain't running right. The mechanic tunes the thing and drops it at her house. Next day she rings back because it's no better, and the guy picks it up, checks it, and drops it back. Next day....

Well, it can go on as long as the joker needs, but eventually tempers are stretched all around. The mech is confused, the woman is getting angry and so the guy decides to take the lady for a test drive.

Okay, she says, and gets into the driver seat, straightens her skirt, checks her hair, applies some fresh lipstick, pulls out the choke, hangs up her handbag....where shall we go?

73GIAP_Milan
02-22-2004, 11:18 AM
Well, i am a assisten system engineer....i encounnter such things on a daily basis..

it can be SO darn frustrating that some ppl you try to help don't even TRY to understand WHAT they are doing and WHAT they possibly could have done that caused a compu faillure/problem in the first place....

a small customer calls helpdesk example:
Helpdesk: Can i help you?
Customer: Snow appears on my monitor..please help..
Helpdesk: Well, grab a pair of Ski's and have fun...

another small one i did myself when i did a little helpdesking:
Customer: (had already called 5 times with the same problem over and over, did nothing to understand that she had NO problem): Can you please help me now, this is the 5th time a small screen pops up in Windows when i rightclick...

My answer: Press the powerbutton...*click*

3 mins later, she ran into my office.."My pc, it shutted down after i pressed the powerbutton."
My answer: Yes of course, you should NOT be allowed to work with a machine you WILL not understand EVER! go get yourself a typewriter...

Some ppl http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/crazy.gif

Der Tote Baron a.k.a. SK_Black_Knight....
______________________________
Sky Knights Squadron Leader

Juego
02-22-2004, 11:28 AM
LOL!! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Awesome post http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

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Lucius_Esox
02-22-2004, 11:53 AM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Hideous,,, What frightens me is those sort of people effect my life,,,,,, i.e. very stupid one's!!

It must take some patience!

http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/crazy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Scrollexx2348
02-22-2004, 12:25 PM
TAYLORTONY, YOU SIR, ARE A SAINT WITH THE PATIENCE OF AN OYSTER

BluesmanSF
02-22-2004, 02:48 PM
I spent once about half an hour figuring out, wtf is wrong with my microphone. I checked at least fifteen times all the possible audio/mic settings that came in my mind, then, when I was just giving up, and deciding at wich wall should I smack my microphone, I noticed that the darn thing isn't plugged in! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif ...That sort of things are kinda frustrating... http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

Taylortony
02-22-2004, 02:59 PM
Dino that was an example from the link i posted, it was not me.......... if have enough problems trying to use the online free translators to explain how to fix the connection issues on ubi com to people that don't speak English, it kinda screws my words round, but at least i get 99% of people up and running on there http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Wish i had a few other Lanquages under my belt http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Scragbat
02-22-2004, 03:14 PM
Great post http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Can someone tell me where the 'any' key is?
I'm supposed to press it...

Some gems on that site, this made me smile...

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
* Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
* Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to --"
* Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
* Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?"
* Customer: [click]

http://www.appy55.dsl.pipex.com/FB/squigsig.gif
Home of Scragbat's Forgotten Battles Virtual Movies (http://www.appy55.dsl.pipex.com)
Virtual Cinema created with IL-2

AFJ_Locust
02-22-2004, 05:27 PM
LMAO

http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v61/AFJ_Locust/Loco_mad_sig2_small.jpg

http://alloutwar.com/IL2FS/

Steaky_361st
02-22-2004, 07:35 PM
rofl


-----------------------------------------------
Steaks
Cpt 375thFS
"And you thought the meat last night was tough..."

Covino
02-22-2004, 08:07 PM
Did you guys see this one? http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Tech Support: "Thank you for calling customer service, and how may I help you?"
Customer: "I can't get it to do."
Tech Support: "Excuse me, ma'am?"
Customer: "I can't get my Internet to do."
Tech Support: "Let's check your setup."
Customer: "Okey dokey."
Tech Support: "Are you at your desktop?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Do a double click on the 'My Computer' icon."
Customer: "I don't see that one."
Tech Support: "What screen are you on, and what does you desktop look like?"
Customer: "Wood."
Tech Support: "What's on your screen, ma'am?"
Customer: "A bunch of names."
Tech Support: "Like what?"
Customer: "Bill, George, Larry, Jim."
Tech Support: "What screen are you on?"
Customer: "I am on the one I'm on. I need to go get my daughter. She's the computer guru of the family."
Tech Support: "Great, thank you."
April: "Hi, I'm April, and you are?"
Tech Support: "Mike."
April: "Mike. Cool, dude."
Tech Support: "Are you at your desktop?"
April: "You will have to excuse my mother. She's a little dense."
Tech Support: "No problem."
April: "How old are you?"
Tech Support: "300 years old. I'm the 'Highlander.' Um, would you do a double click on the 'My Computer' icon?"
April: "Sorry, I don't see that one."
Tech Support: "What do you see?"
April: "Bill, George, Larry, and Jim."
Tech Support: "What version of Windows are you using?"
April: "Ninety-something I guess."
Tech Support: "Erm. Shut down the computer and reboot."
April: "Ok...." (pause) "Done."
Tech Support: "What does your screen say?
April: "Bill, Larry, Jim, Barbie, and Wimper."
Tech Support: "Just for kicks, do a double click on 'Bill,' and see what happens."
April: "What is this?"
Tech Support: "What did it do?"
April: "It now has little folders: modems, devices, etc."
Tech Support: "Why was your 'My Computer' icon named Bill?"
April: "I wanted to name it something cute. Did I screw up?"

SwingerSpecial
02-22-2004, 09:05 PM
Sounds painfully familiar, as I work in the industry as well... So here's my story:

I'm showing an elderly couple how to plug in their new computer. I am holding the power cord in my hand, and showing it to them.
"..and this is the power cable, which plugs in here, black wire to the black connector".

"Where does that other end go to?"

Now I'm holding a standard US-style 3 prong electric plug in my hand, which is found in many, many electrical devices sold in this country. I look at the plug, "This end?", wait for a second or two for some kind of spark of intelligence... nope... "Well, this end plugs into the electric outlet"

Wheew...


I believe that the biggest problem is that people are afraid of computers, believe that they are some kind of magical devices, and refuse to rely on "common sense". Really, the easy answer must be wrong, afterall, this is a computer and there must be a "sophisticated" answer. Also, majority of problems are caused by poor mouse control. So, for anyone that tries to teach a newbie: Set the screen resolution to 800x600, and make them play solitaire.