View Full Version : Are you Australians going to take this sitting down?

05-22-2005, 08:47 PM
"When I had been in Sydney I bought a bottle of Australian brandy, and later discovered that it was so awful I just threw the bottle in my trunk and forgot about it." -George Britt 1942(ish)

Now where I come from, insulting a mans alcahol is worse than insulting his mother. Are you going to stand for this?

(At least Boyington liked it http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif )

05-22-2005, 09:36 PM
I wouldn't dream of touching brandy http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif. Bleh!

I'm from South Australia and if anyone was to start bagging Coopers Ale though - aw mate!
I swear, its so good. Even Victorians will admit it!


05-22-2005, 09:36 PM
Mate, if they were insulting anything we were proud about, we'd be up in arms - be sure!

Nobody but us insults our beer http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif And we KNOW we have the best reasonable priced plonk (that's 'wine' for you Yankees) this side of the galaxy - if you don't believe me, open a bottle of French wine that costs $20. (No offence, France - I love a good French drop, but I don't expect to pay anything less than $100 for it)

But we don't make a good brandy. I don't know if it's the climate, but even the cheapest Cognacs or British brandies put our efforts to shame. Yech.

We don't make a good rum, either - and I lived for 10 years in Bundaberg so I reckon I can have that opinion if I like http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/mockface.gif

The heir to the Hyslop scotch whiskey recipe is living in Australia, but he's not making any more of it so you'll just have trust me that it's the best single malt you'll ever taste http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


05-22-2005, 11:05 PM
bah!! serves him right...picking up brandy. Thats a girls drink. Have a Bundy (rum from Queensland) or 3, that'll make a man outta ya. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

05-23-2005, 02:37 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif We're used to getting insulted by the British, but we know why they do it.

They're just jealous http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

05-23-2005, 03:40 AM
Beer can be drunk sitting down! I sometimes leave that stage out though, preferring to go from the near vertical to horizontal in one swallow. Anything with a good crumple factor is fine by me http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Until his ticker got a weak spring, I used to regularly take a ration of Navy Rum with my father-in-law. He would knock off a bloody glassful in one swipe - and his favourite statement was something like "I never mind my head, lad, it's what it does to my knees that I like!"

We always drank our tot in the 'galley' standing up, and always toasted "the Queen, God bless 'er" and the "Royal Navy and all who sail....etc.", followed by "Wives and sweethearts, may they never meet" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif I had usually hit the deck by then - but I can vaguely remember him toasting the dog one time. I hate the smell of burning fur...but I mercifully passed out. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

In fact, sitting down to drink is a silly business. It adds the unwanted and risky challenge of getting up to an otherwise enjoyable pastime. It's why bars were invented. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

05-23-2005, 04:09 AM
i dont think australians ever listen to the british . All we ever here is (puts on his best whinging voice) AAAAh australia is too hot, ahhh the beer is too cold , does it ever drop below 35 in this convict settlement . http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Coopers Extra Strong Vintage Ale is by far THE best beer made in australia, and thats coming from a sandgroper

05-23-2005, 05:11 AM
Maybe a few words from my dear departed dad:

#1 "I used to have a drinking problem, but now I can't get enough of the stuff."


#2 "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks just as much as you do."


05-23-2005, 05:18 AM
Actually, before I moved to Melbourne I used to live just down the road from the St. Agnes Distillery in Adelaide. I'm willing to bet that that was the stuff Mr. Britt was referring to!

I drank my share of it as a minor and he has a point. It tastes like wee wee.

05-23-2005, 08:34 AM
Hey, i'm english and i spent a year in australia, and there's definatley nothing wrong with the beer.

Loved tooeys new, carlton cold, crappy boxes of lindermans that sat in the back of our car as we drove for miles. Particualy liked the drive through bottle shops to get a slab of beer http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

saying that, we did decide that vb stood for very bad.

oh, i never complained that it was to hot either!!

05-23-2005, 09:22 AM
A toast to Coopers Ale! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif I haven't had a draft of that tipple for many a year http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif, but in 1.5 months I'll be back in good ol' Adelaide http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif Put some in the fridge for me now cobber! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

05-23-2005, 11:33 AM
Nothing wrong with your beer's Diggers'. The only **** ones I find back in Pom Land is Foster's and Castlemaine XXXX. That's because they brew the clart here!

One week back from Oz and already I am missing the beer, people, and warm weather (it's only about 16 c in Leicester http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif )

05-23-2005, 11:46 AM
I'am English too, and I spent a month last year visiting me mates who've just emigrated to Rocktingham near Perth, WA.

The beer tasted pretty good to me, especially the Tooey's, but I'am also a fan OF VB, and I always buy Australian wine when I'am back home in England, us Brits are quite loyal to our Australian cousins.

Western Australia is a great place, Kings Park in Perth is VAST, and the countryside was very pretty, especially around Pinjarra.

Quite a lot of the 'Australians' we met were actually born in England, and quite a lot of those who were born in Australia had a dad or a granadad who came from England, so I think the English have no trouble coping with the flies or the heat. To illustreate me point, I went on a flight from Jandakot airport, the Pilot was born in Liverpool, the barman came from me own home town of Stockton-on-Tees, and another pilot we got talking to had a granny in Middlesbrough http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif, and our frinds have sighted cars with Middlesbrough Football Club stickers in the window in Rockingham.

The travel isn't all one way, last weekend I was up the top of Scafell Pike, the Highest mountain in England, it was full of very friendly Australians, and they were all looking forward to getting back down and hitting the Lakeland pubs, so i guess that Australians like English beer too http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

05-23-2005, 11:49 AM
Been "downunder" twice, '94 & '97. Not a drinker but loved the country from Sydney to Perth and all in-between. Love Aussie Rules and liked going to see the "footie". Was asked by friends what I thought of it.. "kinda like semi-organised mayhem" I said.

Particularly when a wounded player, was being loaded onto a stretcher and I noticed that the weren't "stopping play". Just as I was wondering "what would happen if...." The ball bounced over the stretcher and several "stapping lads" plowed into stretcher, bearers and all. Man what a collision... Would love a reason to return...

Da Wistful Worfster

05-23-2005, 12:31 PM
Brandy? George Britt? Who gives a ****? Who's round is it anyway?

05-23-2005, 09:14 PM
Of course we'll take it sitting down- who the hell drinks brandy? That cr*ap is for lighting the barbeque.
SteveG- I take your point, my old-man is from Stockton-on-Tees. Like most antipodeans with relatives in Britain i dropped in on them while living over there. It was great fun to knock on someone's door whom you'd never met before and say 'G'day, I'm related to you, can i stay for a few days' http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
Most Brits i met were quite surprised to discover just how small our population is (only just reached 20million) considering the number of Aussies and Kiwis enjoying your island. To you guys it must seem like we hardly leave anyone at home.

05-23-2005, 09:24 PM
....saying that, we did decide that vb stood for very bad.

VB = Vomit Bomb http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

05-23-2005, 09:24 PM
It was 63 years ago, who cares?

05-24-2005, 04:23 AM
You blokes need to get on the wrong side of some James Squire Amber Ale or Porter{if you like 'em dark}.
S! to all Pommies!
Oi! Oi! Oi!

05-24-2005, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by Bussard_1:
You blokes need to get on the wrong side of some James Squire Amber Ale or Porter{if you like 'em dark}.
S! to all Pommies!
Oi! Oi! Oi!

James Squire Amber Ale! Thats loopy juice mate! Would love to get some over here in Pommie Land. Anyone know if I can order any online, overhere? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

05-24-2005, 06:19 PM
Any beer is good beer(with the possible exception of Tennants Extra), and brandy is for girls. And was invented by the french. Stick the the ale lads...dont dabble in the dark arts... it starts off with brandy, and before you know it, you'll end up drinking pink cocktails with brollies and sparklers with your pinkie finger in the air...STICK TO BEER !!!

05-24-2005, 07:18 PM
Coopers ale is top darts i love it, i just bought a carton of cooper's pale ale. James bOags is good as well. I'm from north queensland and everyone drinks four x except for me as i hate it.VB has to be the worst beer

05-24-2005, 09:09 PM
Heh heh, I'm a Queenslander and I couldn't agree more - XXXX is totally over-rated.

Besides, Castlemaine-Perkins are a bunch of bastards, to be nice (you should have seen their 'severance package' last time they laid of 50% of their staff - not me, but friends).

Besides, 51% shares are owned by a Japanese company and the recipe has changed to accomodate the 'overseas' customers. I think you can get away without drinking FourEx without worrying too much about patriotism.

Tassie Beer is tops. A lot of people have problems with its 'clean' taste - but the water is so good down that way that you don't want a lot of sediment (aka Coopers) muddying up the liquid. Alltime favourite Aussie beer? Boag's Strongarm Bitter.

I wouldn't knock Cooper's, though. Cooper's Red and Cooper's Green are a great ale for when you really want to eat your beer. They have a good taste, so you can forgive them the chunky bits http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Tooheys can go the way of XXXX as far as I'm concerned, with the addition that it tastes like Horse Urine smells.

Gee Whizz, we Aussies aren't opinionated when it comes to our alcohol, are we? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif


05-24-2005, 11:46 PM
Hmm every time I try to write braeer,branneer,brandeer it comes out Beer, go figure. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

05-25-2005, 12:00 AM
Didnt know we made Brandy over here, as a youngster me and my mates used to buy a bottle or two of brandivino and that stuff was vile, so maybe that is what George Britt ended up with.
Aussies dont take offence to easily, if you lived here you'd understand why, were to busy feeling sorry for the rest of you suckers that dont live in the lucky country to feel sorry for ourselves.

05-25-2005, 04:13 AM
clues; http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/amberale.asp
and http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/outlets.asp
if your into homebrew; http://www.maltshovelbrewing.com.au/
and finally beer facts and quips; http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/frames.asp?page=brews.asp

05-25-2005, 04:43 AM
Wasn't there a hollywood actress who travelled to Melbourne during the 1950's who said "I came here to make a movie about the end of the world. It looks like I came to the right place."

She probably had a VB at the Labour In Vain in Fitzroy http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

05-25-2005, 06:34 AM
I can't believe that none of you have gone and quoted Dr Samuel Johnson;

"Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero
must drink brandy."

Its still true. Keep your beer, you sissies, I'm off to drink some fortified wine!

05-25-2005, 08:37 AM
Yeeugh, brandy is appalling no matter who makes it. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

When I was in Australia in 2003, I discovered that lots of the beer was also pretty revolting ( VB gets a special mention ).

Best I found was a little brewery/pub in Melbourne that made an absolutely superb Porter.

I can't remember the name ( funny that http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif ), but it was supposed to be the oldest or first brewery in Oz and had the family tree of the founder on the wall - guy had about 2 or 3 wives and a couple of mistresses - looked like he'd been responsible for a lot of colonisation. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

05-25-2005, 11:12 AM
Originally posted by Bussard_1:
clues; http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/amberale.asp
and http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/outlets.asp
if your into homebrew; http://www.maltshovelbrewing.com.au/
and finally beer facts and quips; http://www.malt-shovel.com.au/frames.asp?page=brews.asp

Thanks mate! Have a cool one on me http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Skoshi Tiger
06-08-2005, 08:37 AM
When I was a lad (in Perth, WA)there used to be 'rules' about what a bloke should drink. All the lads drank Emu Export and those of age drank swan larger. (old jungle saying " Errgh! I think I got bitten by the Emu last night! ..")

Then People started bringing in foreign beer like ... Fosters and VB and life started to get complicated.

Now its all poofy designer beers in small bottles! Whats a bloke to do.


06-08-2005, 08:51 AM
Fosters tastes like carbonated horse urine. But maybe it's supposed to.

I'm fortunate enough to have Australian dual nationality, although I haven't been there for fifteen years. So therefore I can make rude comments about Fosters!

Actually many beers taste like that...

06-08-2005, 07:28 PM
Why do u think fosters is sold to the English? It's not like any self respecting Aussie would drink it lol...

06-08-2005, 07:45 PM
Those who say Beer is manly and everything else is for girls

Beer was invented for the girlies :P

06-09-2005, 12:44 AM
Actually, beer was invented by a woman, but not FOR a woman.

If you're to believe the stories, an Egyptian woman during the reign of ONE of the Pharoah Reheteps brewed the original concoction of Maize, Hops, Barley and Malt - because they were surplus and were going bad anyway.

She fed it to her husband (the very first alcohol guinea pig), who liked it so much he asked her to brew it for all his friends.

Certainly it comes from that area of Northern Africa and from during that age.

Whether it's a 'manly' thing or not is irrespective. An ice cold beer is a beautiful thing to have with you on a 35 degree sweltering afternoon, whether you're male or female (my girlfriend loves beer even more than I do). Brandy isn't. On the other hand, if I lived in Europe where the winters regularly sit below freezing point, I'm sure I'd appreciate the qualities of Brandy more.


06-09-2005, 01:08 AM
sadly we aussies are still learning how to make beer.

fosters? pah fawgeddabowdit. I can honestly say ive never seen anyone drink it here in Oz. And I can honestly say ive never tasted it myself, or if i did it must have been a lot as i dont recall it....

VB, aka Victoria Bitter, tastes like a mouthful of wet lawn clippings (complete with grated doggy doo) and is marketed to / aimed at sweaty fat sunburnt ditch digging types who dont give a rats arsse about taste. As long as it gets you plastered thats all that matters.

Tooheys New is bearable.... it should be mildly bitter, almost sweet fresh out of the tap. If it tastes too malty or bitter then its stale and tip the facker out. Its the single greatest headache inducing substance known to man, even Carlsberg Elephant is kind in comparison, and stale or old New is the Devil Incarnate.

Europe, Singapore ( draining mug by mug a fresh, ice crusted jug of Tiger whilst eating satay and stingray in an open air market on a fiery Singaporean evening is something approaching religion. Aah...) indeed Japan, has it over us in spades.

We may drink more than most countries but we have much catching up to do. Best thing we export is wine.


06-09-2005, 03:32 AM
Originally posted by Feathered_IV:
I wouldn't dream of touching brandy http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif. Bleh!

I'm from South Australia and if anyone was to start bagging Coopers Ale though - aw mate!
I swear, its so good. Even Victorians will admit it!


I'm with Feathered.... even French brandy is something to be wary of... Aussie brandy is best left unmentioned http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif