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View Full Version : Ezio should have a __________ so he can _____________



Rakudaton
01-05-2011, 11:35 AM
Fill in the blanks of the title. I find myself amused by the ridiculous demands of people new to the series: "Oh it's rubbish enzio doesnt' even hav grenades" -- you know, that sort of thing. So, I thought we might have a thread for outlandish requests. I'll go first:


--> Ezio should have a grappling hook so he can climb the castello in three seconds and pull guards off horses at range

--> Ezio should have a space suit so he can fight Cesare on the moon

--> Ezio should have <insert really conspicuous/futuristic weapon here>, so he can blend in perfectly well into 15th century Italy.

--> Ezio should have a tank. Oh, wait...

itsamea-mario
01-05-2011, 11:41 AM
Ezio should have a more interesting story so he can make a better game.

Ezio should have a castration so he can focus on being a bloody assassin.

Ezio should have a wise cracking midget sidekick so he can add insult to injury when fighting his foes.

maglaromuna
01-05-2011, 11:41 AM
Ezio should have a shaving cream so he can shave!

senile old coot
01-05-2011, 11:43 AM
Ezio should have a wet salmon so he can....slap Cesare Borgia with a wet salmon

magesupermaster
01-05-2011, 11:57 AM
Ezio should have a child so he can continue his lineage.

Ezio should have grenades so he can have...grenades.

Ezio should have a book based on his actions and life. Oh, wait...

Ezio should have two books based on his actions and life. Hmmm...

senile old coot
01-05-2011, 12:03 PM
Ezio should have an annoying pet dog so he can train it to say ''requiescat in pace'' In an inappropriate accent while overenthusiastically humping his victims legs

rileypoole1234
01-05-2011, 01:55 PM
Ezio should have a Bazooka so he can own some noobs

Ezio should have an ability to remove his armour so he can look more badass

Ezio should have a shroud of Turin so he can live forever!

the_atm
01-05-2011, 01:58 PM
umm you can remove his armour...

ezio should have an awsome broom as a weapon so he kill Cesare with the broom stick of DEATH!!!!

Ass4ssin8me
01-05-2011, 02:06 PM
Ezio should have a Great grandson hundreds of years in the future who likes making fun of statues. Oh, wait.....

Der_Attent4ter
01-05-2011, 06:42 PM
Ezio should have a Russian accent so he can have his revenge.
For you Black Ops fans.

LaCava1
01-05-2011, 07:12 PM
Ezio should have a TV so he won't get bored.

ArD117
01-05-2011, 07:48 PM
Ezio should not respect women so he can look like a complete fool.

Ezio should be able to have dual guns because then he can kill two people at once from FAR AWAY (from the perspective of someone who didn't really play Brotherhood).

Ezio should like come to the FUTURE so then he can help Desmond....and....wait....ALTAIR SHOULD COME BACK TOO! Yeah, they're all together and Altair is like "Desmond we have to stop the templars" and Desmond's like "Ok cool" and Ezio is all "so this is what the future is like". And then check this out, all three of them get guns because, heck dude, GUNS ARE AWESUM. But Ezio has a hidden machine gun and Altair has a huge sword...like the one in final fantasy. And Desmond is kinda in the back learning from them until, at the very end, he fights Darth Vader and turns SUPER SAIYAN. Then the whole place blows up and Ezio is like, "Hey Desmond we have to get out of here" and then Leonardo comes in on his glider with a machine gun shooting the Abstergo zombies and then he's all, "They call me a genius for a reason". And then IT TURNS OUT that Desmond is actually Altair, and Altair is actually Ezio's son, and EZIO is the ACTUAL Altair from the past but he used a time travelling piece of eden unintentionally at his birth to be in the Renaissance! Abstergo is actually a whatcha-ma-call-it for Bag Store! So, really, Desmond was in a coma in a supermarket and this was all a dream.

.....so the fans can be ticked off.

TheSpectator
01-05-2011, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by ArD117:
Ezio should not respect women so he can look like a complete fool.

Ezio should be able to have dual guns because then he can kill two people at once from FAR AWAY (from the perspective of someone who didn't really play Brotherhood).

Ezio should like come to the FUTURE so then he can help Desmond....and....wait....ALTAIR SHOULD COME BACK TOO! Yeah, they're all together and Altair is like "Desmond we have to stop the templars" and Desmond's like "Ok cool" and Ezio is all "so this is what the future is like". And then check this out, all three of them get guns because, heck dude, GUNS ARE AWESUM. But Ezio has a hidden machine gun and Altair has a huge sword...like the one in final fantasy. And Desmond is kinda in the back learning from them until, at the very end, he fights Darth Vader and turns SUPER SAIYAN. Then the whole place blows up and Ezio is like, "Hey Desmond we have to get out of here" and then Leonardo comes in on his glider with a machine gun shooting the Abstergo zombies and then he's all, "They call me a genius for a reason". And then IT TURNS OUT that Desmond is actually Altair, and Altair is actually Ezio's son, and EZIO is the ACTUAL Altair from the past but he used a time travelling piece of eden unintentionally at his birth to be in the Renaissance! Abstergo is actually a whatcha-ma-call-it for Bag Store! So, really, Desmond was in a coma in a supermarket and this was all a dream.

.....so the fans can be ticked off.
http://knowyourmeme.com/i/151/original/n725075089_288918_2774.jpg

mastesergeant
01-05-2011, 08:47 PM
Ezio should have an Iron Man suit so he can fly and be INVINCIBLE!

ProletariatPleb
01-06-2011, 12:58 AM
Originally posted by ArD117:
Ezio should not respect women so he can look like a complete fool.

Ezio should be able to have dual guns because then he can kill two people at once from FAR AWAY (from the perspective of someone who didn't really play Brotherhood).

Ezio should like come to the FUTURE so then he can help Desmond....and....wait....ALTAIR SHOULD COME BACK TOO! Yeah, they're all together and Altair is like "Desmond we have to stop the templars" and Desmond's like "Ok cool" and Ezio is all "so this is what the future is like". And then check this out, all three of them get guns because, heck dude, GUNS ARE AWESUM. But Ezio has a hidden machine gun and Altair has a huge sword...like the one in final fantasy. And Desmond is kinda in the back learning from them until, at the very end, he fights Darth Vader and turns SUPER SAIYAN. Then the whole place blows up and Ezio is like, "Hey Desmond we have to get out of here" and then Leonardo comes in on his glider with a machine gun shooting the Abstergo zombies and then he's all, "They call me a genius for a reason". And then IT TURNS OUT that Desmond is actually Altair, and Altair is actually Ezio's son, and EZIO is the ACTUAL Altair from the past but he used a time travelling piece of eden unintentionally at his birth to be in the Renaissance! Abstergo is actually a whatcha-ma-call-it for Bag Store! So, really, Desmond was in a coma in a supermarket and this was all a dream.

.....so the fans can be ticked off.

You really should check this out bro... I wrote it LOL: CHECK THIS OUT! (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6318224/1/Modern_World_Brotherhood)

Ezio should have a car so that he does not have to travel by horse in rome.

rileypoole1234
01-06-2011, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by livfreorletmedi:
umm you can remove his armour...
\

No you can't...

itsamea-mario
01-06-2011, 01:54 PM
Ezio should have a brick so he can smash cesare's windows.

Desm0ndmiles
01-06-2011, 08:27 PM
He doesn't have a tank.You do know he doesn't keep that right?

maglaromuna
01-06-2011, 10:02 PM
-ezio should have a another collar, so he can show off.
-ezio should have a handheld fan so he fan himself because it romes atmosphere in this game looks too hot and humid.

maglaromuna
01-06-2011, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by itsamea-mario:
Ezio should have a brick so he can smash cesare's windows.

ezio should have his own _______ smash so he can say EZIO SMASH on every guard he pwns.

Avl521
01-06-2011, 10:44 PM
Ezio should have a kitchen so he can make some pasta with those tomatoes.

maglaromuna
01-18-2011, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by Avl521:
Ezio should have a kitchen so he can make some pasta with those tomatoes.

LOL.

mrshadow115
01-22-2011, 08:38 PM
Ezio should have a hidden flamethrower attachments for his hidden blades so he can be more awesome...

jzsnyder
01-23-2011, 12:10 AM
Ezio should have a time machine so he can visit desmond and lucy but he is never able to come back...

SquarePolo27
01-23-2011, 11:29 AM
Ezio should have a portable pigeon coop so he doesn't have to go somewhere every time he wants to kill someone.

Turkiye96
01-23-2011, 11:32 AM
ezio should have a parachute so he can flip off my history teacher :P

LordWolv
01-23-2011, 11:37 AM
Ezio should have a wife so he can make more assassins.

NIGHTRAIDER68
01-23-2011, 11:53 AM
Ezio sould have a holiday, he's getting old a looks tired

germanosz
01-23-2011, 12:20 PM
Ezio should have this:

A move where Ezio jumps 505968609689 feet in the air then flies down sourounded by lightning and fire with his sword and inflicts 50pts of damage to his enemy.
~Originally posted by itsamea-mario

Mutley_Rulz
01-23-2011, 01:48 PM
Ezio should have a 3rd hidden blade hidden somewhere private so he can kill female targets exceptionally stealthily.

notafanboy
01-23-2011, 04:26 PM
Ezio should have a thing so he can do stuff ...