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Airmail109
10-02-2006, 07:55 AM
Last year at 6th form college (16-18) I had a really ****ty time. Mainly down to one person in my geology lectures. The guy all year, would take the piss, belittle me in a a huge number of ways I cant even begin to describe here....from Isolating me from my peers and so called friends on Field trips...to videoing me in class whilst taking the piss...to taking the piss out of someone I was going out with over the college radio. Now at secondary school i used to be able to cope with this, as id just knock the guys head off. However by the time you get to college you cant do this as your supposedly an adult. The guy maneged to make me feel completely worthless in class, which was made even worse by the fact the lecturer allowed it...even found it funny. I thought i could cope with it and not rise up to it, yet at the same time i didnt want to go and talk to anyone as it made me feel like a total prat...instead i just tried to tell him id have enough and shut the **** up. However it kept up and over a series of months, the stress seemed to perculate into my whole life. I got pissed off and easily irritated by my good friends, leading me to alienate them....and I developed a "**** you" attitude which is was a 180 to what i used to be which was happy go lucky. It also lead to bouts of depression....

Then i entered into my final exams, I thought I could hack everything...I was just managing to hold myself together. Stress built up....even doubled....and I started being off with my girldriend who i adored...this pissed her off....(she didnt know about what was happening in the geology lectures)....and she started being off with me....basically things escalated...and she ended up asking to go on a break during my exams.

This is about the point that i completely lost the plot and basically told her to **** off, I became confused, down and very angry. I didnt know what was right or wrong or what id done to piss her off, and I had very mixed emotions. I ended up losing it completely and not going to a lot of my exams and stuff.

Now ive cooled down, and ive managed to clear all the emotions out of my head about the whole ordeal...I can see why I got like this. Im a completely different person now...I have no where near as much confidence, Im quiet and Im reserved. Quite often on top of this now I seem to have reuccuring bouts of where everything around me doesnt seem real...and its like I cant connect with reality. Like im looking at life through a glass window.

Im still somwhat confused about it all. I just feel I want a little justice now, my ex doesnt believe me that I brokedown. Instead she thinks im a jerk who has a short fuse.

Airmail109
10-02-2006, 07:55 AM
Last year at 6th form college (16-18) I had a really ****ty time. Mainly down to one person in my geology lectures. The guy all year, would take the piss, belittle me in a a huge number of ways I cant even begin to describe here....from Isolating me from my peers and so called friends on Field trips...to videoing me in class whilst taking the piss...to taking the piss out of someone I was going out with over the college radio. Now at secondary school i used to be able to cope with this, as id just knock the guys head off. However by the time you get to college you cant do this as your supposedly an adult. The guy maneged to make me feel completely worthless in class, which was made even worse by the fact the lecturer allowed it...even found it funny. I thought i could cope with it and not rise up to it, yet at the same time i didnt want to go and talk to anyone as it made me feel like a total prat...instead i just tried to tell him id have enough and shut the **** up. However it kept up and over a series of months, the stress seemed to perculate into my whole life. I got pissed off and easily irritated by my good friends, leading me to alienate them....and I developed a "**** you" attitude which is was a 180 to what i used to be which was happy go lucky. It also lead to bouts of depression....

Then i entered into my final exams, I thought I could hack everything...I was just managing to hold myself together. Stress built up....even doubled....and I started being off with my girldriend who i adored...this pissed her off....(she didnt know about what was happening in the geology lectures)....and she started being off with me....basically things escalated...and she ended up asking to go on a break during my exams.

This is about the point that i completely lost the plot and basically told her to **** off, I became confused, down and very angry. I didnt know what was right or wrong or what id done to piss her off, and I had very mixed emotions. I ended up losing it completely and not going to a lot of my exams and stuff.

Now ive cooled down, and ive managed to clear all the emotions out of my head about the whole ordeal...I can see why I got like this. Im a completely different person now...I have no where near as much confidence, Im quiet and Im reserved. Quite often on top of this now I seem to have reuccuring bouts of where everything around me doesnt seem real...and its like I cant connect with reality. Like im looking at life through a glass window.

Im still somwhat confused about it all. I just feel I want a little justice now, my ex doesnt believe me that I brokedown. Instead she thinks im a jerk who has a short fuse.