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JG52Uther
08-25-2010, 01:22 PM
Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub,when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austriaís pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austriaís point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it canít afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austriaís trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who itís looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether itís looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back,Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that itís on Britainís side,but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up andcarries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool,then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germanyís fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

AndyJWest
08-25-2010, 01:32 PM
Sadly, not far off the truth there...

Bearcat99
08-25-2010, 02:18 PM
That must have been WWI..

Worf101
08-25-2010, 04:27 PM
Bravo... well played sir!

Worf

Tooz_69GIAP
08-25-2010, 04:37 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Friendly_flyer
08-26-2010, 07:16 AM
Great one!

EscoBlades
08-26-2010, 07:59 AM
ROFLcopter! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Treetop64
08-26-2010, 08:13 AM
Copied, pasted, and saved to text. That was great!

Thanks for sharing.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

kleaneasy
08-26-2010, 08:14 AM
Originally posted by Treetop64:
Copied, pasted, and saved to text. That was great!

I spammed it on my twitter http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

ROXunreal
08-26-2010, 08:57 AM
*Russia attempts to punch Austria, but it takes two hours for it to sober up and be able to lift its fist.

*Should be noted that Italy attempted to punch Austria only after it was evident who was going to win.

*Germany ends up on probation, gradually descends into delusion, paranoia and claustrophobia, starts collecting guns and bullying the kids next door...

Metatron_123
08-26-2010, 09:48 AM
And the moral of the story is... don't look at anyone. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

But seriously, this is priceless, and essential to young history students I reckon. It may be a simplistic abstraction, but things aren't much more complex in reality.

It's refreshing, cause most of the time, as humans, we have a unique ability to elaborate and analyze and give fancy names to rather simple affairs.

WTE_Galway
08-26-2010, 05:37 PM
Reminds me of this one:


*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*

Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u ***s im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world ******
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all ***s
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

Ba5tard5word
08-26-2010, 05:49 PM
I don't know why everyone says Americans act like we won WWI. No American says that and we all pretty much knew we stayed out as long as possible and really didn't do much. And anyway everyone knows that WW2 was the war that we won.

Ba5tard5word
08-26-2010, 06:52 PM
Originally posted by WTE_Galway:
Reminds me of this one:


http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa238/redherring1/aaeu6.gif

R_Target
08-26-2010, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by Ba5tard5word:
I don't know why everyone says Americans act like we won WWI. No American says that and we all pretty much knew we stayed out as long as possible and really didn't do much.

Yeah, I know. The great thing about this place is that Americans are criticized for going to war and for not going to war. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif Usually by the same people. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


And anyway everyone knows that WW2 was the war that we won.

Don't say that. They'll really get after you now.

WTE_Galway
08-26-2010, 07:45 PM
Originally posted by Ba5tard5word:
And anyway everyone knows that WW2 was the war that we won.

I thought that was the Utah war fought against the Mormon's back in '58 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

danjama
08-26-2010, 08:08 PM
I wish I read this thread earlier, great stuff. Re-posted on my blog.

Thanks guys.

R_Target
08-26-2010, 08:43 PM
Originally posted by WTE_Galway:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Ba5tard5word:
And anyway everyone knows that WW2 was the war that we won.

I thought that was the Utah war fought against the Mormon's back in '58 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, that was kind of a draw. They got to keep their desert, and we promised not to tell anyone Jesus wasn't American.

Ba5tard5word
08-27-2010, 10:06 AM
Don't say that. They'll really get after you now.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif

dirkpit7
08-27-2010, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by WTE_Galway:
.
.
.
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u ***s im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
.
.
.
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
.
.
.

Seems to be some confusion with the timeline here.

The first one was pretty good, though.