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blue_76
11-05-2006, 10:11 PM
I met her in 1999.. I loved her ever since.. The love of my life.. I don't think i can love another. I'm sorry, its another off topic, but you've must've noticed i've been off the forums for a while. Women.. thigs can be so compicated sometimes... Maybe I'll remain single forever http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
She means so much to me.. For those of you who are married.. you are so lucky. I always aimed too high I suppose.. Maybe I don't deserve her. Maybe I don't deserve happiness. I'm sorry to have to add another senseless post. My heart was broken today, so I wanted to post to one link I felt belonging..

Good Hunting to all.


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blue_76
11-05-2006, 10:11 PM
I met her in 1999.. I loved her ever since.. The love of my life.. I don't think i can love another. I'm sorry, its another off topic, but you've must've noticed i've been off the forums for a while. Women.. thigs can be so compicated sometimes... Maybe I'll remain single forever http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
She means so much to me.. For those of you who are married.. you are so lucky. I always aimed too high I suppose.. Maybe I don't deserve her. Maybe I don't deserve happiness. I'm sorry to have to add another senseless post. My heart was broken today, so I wanted to post to one link I felt belonging..

Good Hunting to all.


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tuddley3
11-05-2006, 10:42 PM
Sorry to hear the bad news. We are here for you my friend. Don't worry about the OT post, I'm all ears.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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TooFastForLove.
11-06-2006, 12:18 AM
"What is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."

Hell I know that can be tough man. Take it from me, a poor sap who was cheated on a few months ago by the girl who I thought I'd live the good life with till the end of time. A couple of kids, a solid job, 2 cars, church every Sunday...etc I believe I even made a post about it here. All I can do is try to not think about the pretty read head with the DD cup size. In your case, when a positive thought about her comes into your head about her, immediately displace it with something else. A song, a memory of something you and your mates did... anything else. It may be the only way to keep your sanity.

The married guys are pretty lucky, all though some might support the opposite sort of view in an Al Bundy like fashion. Maybe we don't deserve happiness? Maybe it is just our destiny that some of us are meant to suffer, who knows.

I would suggest that you start dating else where if you can. For me its not quite that simple. I might suggest not hitting the bottle route as I have. It may become somewhat habit forming. But whats a high seas patrol without something based of rum in your hand? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

That girl has on a few occasions tried to contact me through the internet, but I couldn't bare it. I delete the email, block on MSN... etc.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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baggygreen
11-06-2006, 03:21 AM
I remember TFFLs thread about it.

Me, I've had the tough run too, was together for quite a while before discovering the infidelities.

Spent more than a year thinking about it, which really proved to be such a waste of time. I ignored my mates saying get over it blah blah, but when i tried n avoided contact etc, it was easy. Now, well as it turns out Im dating a close friend of mine for a number of years (now were just closer). thats been going for a while, and whilst having dinner at my folks' place last night they put forward marriage, which was surprising as they hated the last 2 ladies well they were girls back then.

anyways, end to the off topicness except to say i know what you feel like, most guys here have been through similar, and though it causes pain even years later, things always take a turn for the better, so chin up til then

Dragos_Mateescu
11-06-2006, 03:50 AM
Don`t stop aiming to high, that`s a good atitude. And be strong man, you`ll find someone who will deserve you in the end.
And by the way, this is not a sensless post, we are all friends here http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Grrbob25
11-06-2006, 04:19 AM
Women are like convoys, the weather may be too bad stormy to get one, but eventually another one will always pass by, that is right in your sights with the sea as calm as a swimming pool.

I never had alot of luck with the ladies either, my tastes in clothing, music and other things in my neighborhood is shunned apon, so I too, am waiting for the right girl.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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KaleunFreddie
11-06-2006, 05:06 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Grrbob25:
Women are like convoys, the weather may be too bad stormy to get one, but eventually another one will always pass by, that is right in your sights with the sea as calm as a swimming pool.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

...then you line up the most beautiful ship in the whole lot and 'TORPEDO' it..... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Psychfilm
11-06-2006, 08:06 AM
Blue ?You have a right to feel everything that you are feeling. That in mind; also know that it is not the end of the world. It really isn?t. I am sure that everyone here has a similar story of the one that got away. If you will permit me to tell you mine it might help give you some perspective, I hope it does at least.

When I was a freshman in college a good friend of mine took his own life. I was 18 at the time and it was one of the hardest things I had ever been through. This guy was one of the kindest guys I had ever known. If he had had any idea about the pain his passing would have cause he never would have done it. After the funeral I went back to school where I was studying Psychology and sure enough we started in on suicide and the signs it was difficult to say the least.

Gabriel was a girl who had hung around the group back in high school and we got together before the start of the summer break. We would just talk and what not. Over the summer we started dating and one thing led to another. I thought we would be together forever. At that point in my life I had never been so happy. In the fall I had to go back to school and Gabe was looking into transferring.

I was scheduled to go into rather extensive surgery over the winter break. They were going to graph part of my hip into my face through the mouth along with breaking my nose and realigning it. Gabe had already planned on taking the time off to spend it recovering with me.

A month before the break I got a phone call and the relationship was over. She broke up with me over the phone. Here I was thinking that everything was going great and it ends in a phone call. I get a phone call an hour later, as I?m packing to go to her to talk, and it is from her best friend who tells me that Gabe had been cheating on me with another guy pretty much ever since I left to go back to school. I was devastated and felt a lot of the same things that you expressed in your post. I thought I would never find a love like that again.

I had a month before the surgery and I was a mess. My roommate and I started lifting weights. In those days I weighed about a hundred and thirty pounds soaking wet. I got into the best shape of my life and by the time surgery rolled around I was ready.

Flash forward six years. I had pretty much given up on finding someone. I had dated off an on but had never found anyone that made me even half as happy as I had been with Gabe. We shouldn?t compare but it is the human condition to do so. So I had given up and gotten used to the fact that I was going to be alone and for the most part I was happy with the fact. It was exactly at that moment that I met the future Mrs. Psychfilm. Did she make me feel as happy as I was with Gabe? No because I was happier. We share something that Gabe and I never would have been able to.

What?s the point of this rather long post? Everyone has value and worth. You have gifts you probably have not even realized yet. Back when I was dating Gabe I didn?t think I would ever be writing. There is someone out there for you. It would be unfair to her to give up.

This forum is one of the most supportive ones I?ve ever had the privilege to post on and we are all here for you. If there is anything I can do just let me know. Right now it hurts but hang in there. It will get better I promise.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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TooFastForLove.
11-06-2006, 11:36 AM
That convoy reference is priceless, don't mind if I use that some time. For those of us that need it I hope something comes along soon.

Myself ever since there is one girl I've been thinking a lot about. I used to work with her sometime ago and liked her but unfortunately that was a time when I was still very shy. She was really cute, the Bishops daughter. I got along with her real well and we had quite a bit in common. The one big difference was she was somewhat more of an athletic type did rock climbing, ran half marathons and doesn't take near as much interest in music as I did. Unfortunately I have trouble taking interest in a sport unless it in some way involves and engine.

Unfortunately she now lives more than 3000km away and I'll never see her again. I suppose the lesson learned on that one is to not let a good thing slip between your fingers if you can avoid it. I'm pretty sure I could have easily made something of that if I hadn't been such a ******* then. But then what do you know at 17 years old. Although I did see her last year when she came back to town for awhile. I called her up a couple times but really didn't really have much of a plan. Again with a little more experience I would have handled that better now. There doesn't seem to be much to do here in Waterloo region in Ontario. All I ever do is go to a bar with my buddies, and that might have been a good idea except she doesn't drink. What is there to do in Kitchener-Waterloo ON if you don't ever drink? Beats me, that must be why she says the place is so boring. What a cliched pair we would have been. The rock'n'roll rebel and the Mormon bishop's daughter.

Sure I could be like most guys and tired to get laid as much as possible. But being cheated on by that last girl some how made me realize whats more important. Everything we talked and dreamed about together I still wanted ever after it was over. Just trying to get some leads to long periods of nothingness in between which I'm really tired of. I looking for something of long haul material. Something to make all the years of unhappiness worth while.

Until then its the little things that matter. As I type I'm having a set of Goodyear Nordic snow tires mounted at Canadian Tire which I'll have to go pick up later today. This is the biggest thing I have to look forward to for quite some time, but its the little things. And damn they're nice tires, real deep tread, big gaps in between the rubber knobs. They look more effective than the rather tame looking Michelin tires to me.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Mittelwaechter
11-06-2006, 01:36 PM
Bad news.

To lose a heart hurts and it will take some time to get over it.
One thinks she was the only one, but that's nonsense. Imagine you won't have met her! There would be another girl at your side.
Best strategy is to find some distraction - sports, work, new hobby - even a new girl for fun.
Do those things you wanted to do but had to compromise for your lady. Just don't overdo it.

It's ok to cry and to suffer today, but next week head up man!
Other mothers have nice and pretty daughters too.

My first wife was a good one, but my second is a good one too - and she's still here.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">


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GoldenEagle8
11-06-2006, 02:08 PM
darn, sorry, to hear it, man. But, it's nice to have felt that for at least a while. I know. But when it ends over something increadibly insignificant, and she starts making stuff up to tilt the argument in her favor (my case), it's over. I don't know the details of your ending, but, it will feel better again, about the best to do is get on with life, another will come. Untill then, find something else to do in the meantime.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Realjambo
11-06-2006, 02:55 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Maybe I don't deserve happiness </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Blue_76 - I read this and couldn't not step in. I'm no expert, but I don't like to see a fellow Kaleun feel this way. I could bang on about my own life experiences but I won't. This is about how you feel and what you are going through right now.

I sense from what you said your are questioning yourself a lot, analysing what went wrong, what was said, who's to blame etc which is all perfectly natural but don't let it convince you don't deserve happiness.

Of course you deserve happiness, and you will have it. Maybe not now, but you will, it may seem impossible to believe or even contemplate, but it will come.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Merlin367
11-06-2006, 07:50 PM
It sucks plain and simple.
But it will get better, take
some time to take care of YOU.
Trust an old man on this one. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Messervy
11-07-2006, 05:43 PM
Hey Blue_76

Remmember Bob Tuck......At least you came back to tell the tale to the pack. (Hope he is well)

Don`t you ever worry about OT post.

We`ve been togeather trough all sorts of things - Kaleuns on this Forum.

With no disrespect to the others I concider you as one of the few from the ALTE GARDE!

There is just one thing...and please trust me on that one.......It hurts.....it hurts as bad as something can.....but the beauty of this particular "illness" is that - unlike the others- if left untreated it heals it self.

Three years before I ventured in this forum I was suffering so bad.....well I was keeping myself alive by "not finding the right truck to crash into".

I know it doesn`t sound like much of a comfort but I know how bad it is when that happends.

Here is what I had said to a friend who kept my head above the water when this happened to me and when it was my time to repay my debt:

I can lead you all the way to hell. I know the way all to well.
I can stay there with you as long as you wish.
But it is you that will innevitably find your way back, because a hell is a bad place to be.

So take your time.......time heals everithing but love.

What I ment with this is that every time you fall in love it hurts just the same as the first time.....untill once out of the blue moon it doesn`t hurt at all. And that is our common goal.

BTW....I am still waiting for that moment. But I have the confidence of knowing the path to hell and back by my heart by now.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Backdraft57
11-07-2006, 08:02 PM
Dude, sorry you are hurting.
But here is a true and perhaps hopeful story for you. I met the love of my life in 1975 in high school. We dated for a time, and then broke up. We dated again for a bit in college and broke up. Both times I was dumped for someone else. I could never get over her. I thought of her for several years after the college incident. Time went on and I got married. Wrong idea. It wasn?t right and I knew it but I still thought I needed to get married. She married as well. We saw each other once or twice around town, talked about how each other were, etc. I always went home and cried. There was something about her that drew me. Not some kind of stalker thing, it just seemed like we were to be together. She moved out of state. Five years passed, I got divorced. She shows up back in town five years later divorced and calls me. Tells me all the same things about how she always thought we were to be together and why didn?t I pursue her more. Well, 18 wonderful years of marriage have passed since that time. Don?t give up on your dreams they can come true. Perhaps not in the timing you want, but they can.

blue_76
11-08-2006, 06:15 PM
Thank you all. You've all been very supportive. This forum is like a ship thats taking us on a voyage and you're the best crewmates I've seen. Perhaps you're right, I should just try and put her out of my mind and concentrate on other things, though it will be a very hard thing to do, since almost everything reminds me of her. But ultimately, time will be my best friend in this as the wounds slowly heal. So far, I've been making best friends with a bottle of Scotch. Yes I know, thats not a healthy relationship either.. Anyway, enough of my problems. Once again, thank you all and good hunting!<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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JU88
11-09-2006, 02:57 PM
I hear you, we've all been there , I know it seems impossible to imagine now but you will get over it, you will meet someone else and you will be happy again. Trust me, there is another girl out there waiting for you, take some time to pick up the peices then go and hunt her down! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif
Im in love with someone, but I dont belive love or (anything for that matter) is eternal, not by along shot, everything in this universe dies eventually that is the order of life and the rules of existence.
We need to feel crappy sometimes in order to feel happy, without that kind of contrast in our emotions we would feel nothing at all and might as well be dead.

You have my sympathy - but ther pain you are feeling now is only temporary not permenant just try and remember that.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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hueywolf123
11-09-2006, 04:29 PM
Blue,
Cheer up buddy, that long face won't get you anywhere. Yes marriage is good, but it has it's bad side too. Some days you wish you could marry them again, other days you could happily walk away.
One thing though, as painful as unrequited love can be, you can't make them love you back, it must be from both directions or it just won't work.
You will find your 'ship' but don't do it now, as you will still have a candle burning. Let that flame die off completely, as only then will you be able to torpedo the right one
Best of luck, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, pm me. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Stingray-65
11-09-2006, 05:46 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by hueywolf123:
One thing though, as painful as unrequited love can be, you can't make them love you back, it must be from both directions or it just won't work. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

So true! And blue, know this... things have an uncanny way of working out. You can search for something and never find it, but the moment you stop searching for it, it might just fall in your lap unexpected. So don't ever give up hope. The possibilities are endless.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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schwarze_Katze
11-09-2006, 07:03 PM
Blue, I doubt you'll ever succeed in fully putting her out of your mind. If anyone knows the true trick to this, please let me know.

For years, I had a deeply emotional relationship with the one person in the world I would classify as my best friend ever. We told each other absolutely everything and never judged. It never got intimate although we often had the chance to and we talked and laughed about how we were destined to be married.

10 years ago, I called her from some far-off port I was visiting while in the Navy; and she informed me she was engaged. I was emotionally destroyed as I had never been before in my life. At that point, I made a decision that haunts me still. I let our relationship slip. The engagement was a huge factor since I decided I didn't have the right to interfere in her life. The other part was the opposite ways our lives were headed (I was trained to kill people when necessary and she was in med school).

After a 9 year engagement, I attended her wedding. To say that I was melancholy would be an understatement. However, I went because she was first and foremost my friend. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her, but I still wish her well. I simply cannot let her go completely. I wish I could, but I can't.

Will I eventually heal emotionally? Yep, I suppose I will. Over the years, the hurt has begun to dissipate, so eventually it will go completely. I think. Anyway, I hope you can reach the point where whenever you think of her, you wish her well.