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entropy777
11-07-2006, 10:58 AM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Your best friend is in love with you, you've known this for a while but hoped you could keep it on a friendship level.
She knows that you do have some feelings for her, but you're not really sure if you love her or not..

Now heres the kicker, she gives you an ultimatum.
Either you love her, or she walks..


What do you do?

You can't force love, and you're not sure you want to take the chance in case you really don't love her and end up breaking her heart even more in the end..</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

lpcrispo
11-07-2006, 11:39 AM
well, the choices are :
You dont try... she is not your friend anymore..
you try, dont work, breaks heart, not friends..
you try it works, she's not only your friend now but your loved one...

I say... go for it boy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif and if it doesnt work, there still a lot of chance for you to still be friends.. if you dont break her heart.

FableB
11-07-2006, 12:16 PM
you're not really sure if you love her or not..


Hesitation or confusion is not a good foundation to build a relationship on. You must know whether you like her or not...

If you love someone then you know it, there will be no hesitation. So in your case hesitation is there, so no love I think...

But Generally I say Love when built on a previous friendship is always good. That is if love already exist.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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entropy777
11-07-2006, 12:45 PM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Thats actually where the problem lies, I would have made my move a long time ago if she hadn't reminded me so much of my ex. Mostly in manners, pure, compassionate, honest and a bit naive..
I'm not sure I love her, or if it's just the part I recognize, the part thats already familiar.

Of course they are two completely different people in their own ways, but still, it was one of the reasons I never tried to form a relationship with her..
And if thats the reason I feel anything at all, then a romantic relationship will obviously crash and burn, just like before.</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

MTXteerling
11-07-2006, 01:03 PM
It's a really difficult question to answer. It's so difficult for me to answer, because I don't know you well enough. I don't know the exact nature of you and your best friend's relationship. I don't know how you stand towards her. So I certainly can't tell you which decision to take. But I don't think that's what you really want to know. The only thing I (and anyone else) can do for you is give you advice on how to approach this dilemma.

I think you should take a deep look inside yourself. You should try to figure out how you stand towards her, what your feelings for her are. You say you have some feelings for her. You should investigate these feelings. At the risk of sounding corny, you need to do some soul-searching. If it turns out that you don't love her, then that's that. There's nothing you can do about that, as you said, you can't force love. It'd be stupid to make a decision without knowing where you stand. Making that big a decision without being sure can have some devastating consequences.
If you do love her, well... Then it was certainly worth the risk.

If you can't figure out these feelings. If you just can't figure out if you do love her, I wouldn't just make a decision. You could try telling her you just don't know. You could tell her, that you really tried and tried, but you just couldn't come up with a definitive answer. That you really don't want to lose her. You are best friends. I think she should understand.

What you decide, is completely up to you. You need to ask yourself the question: does love weigh up to the risk of losing your best friend. I personally think it does. I think love is worth any risk.
It's best to know for sure what your feelings for her are. If it turns out you don't love her, tell her. It's hard, but nobody ever said it wasn't. Love is a complicated thing after all. If it turns out you don't know if you love her, tell her so. Either way, try to reason with her. Try to tell her that you still don't want to lose her as a friend. That even though you don't love her, you can at least try to still be friends, how hard that may be. I personally think, although I understand, giving an ultimatum concerning something as delicate as love isn't fair. If it turns out that you do love her. Then tell her and enjoy your life with her as your girlfriend.

It?s a difficult question you pose here, and nobody can tell you what exactly to do. I just hope my advice helps you in any way possible. I also hope I made some sense.
All anyone can do for you in the end, is cross their fingers for you. I certainly am. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

edit: my first post didn't answer/cover your second post because while I was writing my first post, you already posted your second post. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

Concerning your second post: you should ask yourself why you broke up with your ex. What qualities did she have that made you two want to brake up. Then ask yourself if your best friend has these qualitities as well.
Now I might have misunderstood your second post. If so, sorry. But what exactly do you mean with
I'm not sure I love her, or if it's just the part I recognize, the part thats already familiar. Do you mean that you might like your best friend because she reminds you of the things you loved in your previous girlfriend. If so, I'd still go for it. No two persons are alike. And the combination of certain aspects in certain personalities can make some bad qualities unbearable (as in your girlfriend) and in some personalities more bearable (possibly as in your best friend). I'd still make a move, as I said in my previous post: I think love is worth any risk. Of course, if YOU think that's true is what matters. Naturaly you should base your decision on your own opinion. Anyway, I wish you the very best of luck and I'm still rooting for you. (Maybe because having a girlfriend might make you less cinical and grim on the forums http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif )<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

I'm almost, but not quite, entirely unlike normal.

FableB
11-07-2006, 01:30 PM
You know what, you are already feeling that this won't work, so it's two risks your gonna take when you take that relationship one level up:

The heart break and the friendship. Because if the relationship will fail I don't think the friendship will remain, indeed, tension will when you are together...

Too much risk, and you are already hesistating which isn't a good thing.

MTXTeerling said love worth risking anything, that's true, But in your case your not even sure if that love exist to start risking for it.

As MTX said, try to figure out whether you love her or not and THEN, think about the risks.

Now you need to log off this sick forum http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif, and go to your room and turn off the lights, and think. You know love isn't that hard to recognize after all...

Try not to find the similarities between her and your ex, but try to find the differences, and whether you like them or not. If you like them then she's different and it will probably work, if you don't like these differences then that's double the risk.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Fates.Dark.Hand
11-07-2006, 01:53 PM
This reminds me of a situation i was in, its just kinda reverced...but thats a tale for another day..As for you Trip 7

1. She's your best freind? are you sure she charishes your freindship over here love for you? i know my best freind wouldnt give an ultimatum.

2. If she does love you, and cares for you in a more than friend way, why has she said "love me or i leave" cause thats the last thing i would want, is for the person i love to break up freinds with me let alone being together. I doubt VERY much she wont want to be your freind.

3. You can never (unfortunatly) control who you love, it just happens and you gotta deal with it. Like Noofi said before, if you love her you'll know it, the love between freindship and more than freindship can be confusing and really break you down.

4. If you do decide to go all ahead, then you have to change the way you act around her, the way you would think of her, for example it wouldnt be " *Name* by best friend" it would be " *Name* my GIRL FREIND" and those are two horribly different meanings and feelings.

If you have the feelings of real love, and you know she has them for you..all means go for it. However if you dont understand your true feelings theres no telling what could happen, the relationship will fall apart cause you still would see her as your best freind and not how she would want...and that will force you to meddle with your emotions...and if you do that you'll come out more hurt than her, you will loose a freind in the proccess and thats alot more painfull...

Now if you'll excuse me...i have to write a letter to somone.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/990/fatesdarkhandsig4hg0.jpg ?
<sub>"Theres many many times where chance, more than skill determines Fate" - Phil Gordon</sub>

FrostBite1229
11-07-2006, 02:18 PM
kill her. problem solved! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Thisgamecouldbe
11-07-2006, 03:31 PM
kill her. problem solved!

Ok... someone has watched too many AC trailers.......

entropy777
11-07-2006, 03:51 PM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">To the #2 fate, apparently it's the "so close yet so far away" aspect of it, it's making her miserable that I'm right there but only as a friend.
I wouldn't be asking if I had any way of figuring this out myself, really the first time I can't manage to look at it objectively nor subjectively, it's just blank.

The cynical and grim part will stay no matter what, it's part of who I am, life is too short to be spent beating around the bush trying to make everyone feel good, awarding failure and stupidity will only cause more of it..
"Would you rather have a doctor who holds your hand while you die, or a doctor who ignores you while you get better?"

Now back on topic...
If the love is there, then theres no problem.. But it's the other two scenarios that worry me,
either there is no love and I tell her that, in which case I lose my best friend.
Or I give her what she wants, and make her happy, only to take it all away, and not only lose my best friend, but also break her heart at the same time.</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

terminalShock09
11-07-2006, 06:27 PM
Did someone steal Entropy's account or what? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Whatever you do, don't lie to her. That'd just be disrespectful, no matter how well-intentioned it is. Maybe tell her that you could give it a try.
Eh, good luck, ye of sour disposition.

YukiSummer
11-07-2006, 11:18 PM
Originally posted by FrostBite1229:
kill her. problem solved! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I didn't even bother to read the first post, but I agree.

Gbucket
11-08-2006, 02:52 AM
You deal with her Altair stylee!

Using social rules to get close to her, working the crowd keeping everyone happy you manage to stay in her general area. You keep following her around in the crowd waiting for the optimal moment and when that moment arrives, you'll know it. It'll feel right. Time will slow down and everything will blur out of focus apart from the target. Right at that point you'll have the power to change the world. Then you steal her shoes! Running away, faster than the wind, you fly through the crowds dodging past then trying to make her escape. As you get further and further away you slow down, blending in once again to the crowds and world around you.

Fates.Dark.Hand
11-08-2006, 05:02 AM
lol ^ Intresting ideas and options here http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

If i was in this situation, and i knew there was nothing there, i'd tell her straight "look what your doing!, your forcing me to choose to different options with two different conciquences, and its not what be both want, if you love me you'll tresure our freindship and tresure holding me as a friend"

You are smart enough to know that if you dont love her and you do get with her its going to end up in heart break either way, but so far your only option is to reason with her, she shouldnt have this much power over you or your freindly relationship. If she really is upset about you not being her with her she MUST be able to see how lucky she is as a freind to have you, make her realise that what she's doing is stuped and and a desperate attempt for love, and the desperate attempt is placing you in situations that i know you dont want to be in.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/990/fatesdarkhandsig4hg0.jpg ?
<sub>"Theres many many times where chance, more than skill determines Fate" - Phil Gordon</sub>

lpcrispo
11-08-2006, 06:30 AM
the way I see it, you have only one option to stay her friend...
so, I still say, go for it boy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif make her pay ! ( in the good way )

FableB
11-08-2006, 01:18 PM
You know it's not cards he's playing with here...

Those are emotion, feelings (your feelings and her feelings), and a friendship and other unknown consequences...So you can't just "go for it" and see what happens...<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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lpcrispo
11-08-2006, 01:34 PM
if he did not liked her, he would not be in this dilemna...
I say he loves her, but he is just affraid of the consequences if it doesnt works... well, the consequence are the same that if he dont even try, i say, TRY IT.
Or if you are sure you dont love her, well, go for it, make love to her a couple of time but do it really bad, like you suck at it or something... and tell her that you are not compatible, she will agree and back to a friend relationship we are. you lost nothing ( except a thousand of "mini-you" ) and she will see that you are better being friends, no heart broken here http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

it's easy.. just give it a try http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Fates.Dark.Hand
11-08-2006, 02:05 PM
Making love? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

Hold on a second, i think making love is the last thing on Entropy's mind...especialy with his best freind...

you sick freak... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/990/fatesdarkhandsig4hg0.jpg ?
<sub>"Theres many many times where chance, more than skill determines Fate" - Phil Gordon</sub>

FableB
11-08-2006, 03:09 PM
Man WTF? You can't be serious,You want him to treat her like some kind of a *****? Bang her and leave her? Hey that's even worse than treating a *****s, atleast *****s get paid...

And he's in this dilemma because he's afraid that she might leave him as a friend if he says no...

Man stop posting because with every post you make it worse http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif...

"Make love and leave her, your only lose is some mini-you"....Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...This is AC forum where "humans" get to post...I think you wanted to post this in:

www.Horses.com (http://www.Horses.com)

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entropy777
11-09-2006, 02:34 AM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Problem solved..</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

FableB
11-09-2006, 03:43 AM
HEY! Atleast we deserve to see the end of the movie! WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT HAPPENED I TELL YOU!<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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lpcrispo
11-09-2006, 06:29 AM
relax, I was just joking, I know it's harder than that to make this kind of decision...

so... what happened ?

entropy777
11-09-2006, 06:45 AM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Talked her out of it, played on my condition and told her that I wasn't interested in any kind of romantic relationship, at least not at this point in my life.
Convinced her I'm a lost cause and that she should be looking elsewhere..

Now, all there is to do is wait and see if everything goes back to something similar to what used to be.</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

FableB
11-09-2006, 08:01 AM
Talked her out of it, played on my condition and told her that I wasn't interested in any kind of romantic relationship, at least not at this point in my life.
Convinced her I'm a lost cause and that she should be looking elsewhere..


The Right Decision ?

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">If YOU have a love problem, Call Me -The Love Doctor- : 38481-I-Loved-her-but-she-dumbed-me-no-I-didn't-dumb-him-she-DID!-no-I-DIDN'T-01</pre><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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Fates.Dark.Hand
11-09-2006, 09:43 AM
At least you didnt choose lpcrispo's idea http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

now its all set and done i can say...

AWWWWWW! Entropy has a heart http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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<sub>"Theres many many times where chance, more than skill determines Fate" - Phil Gordon</sub>

entropy777
11-09-2006, 02:09 PM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Birth defect, sue me.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

UnaUuru
11-09-2006, 07:23 PM
Awww, blast, I wanted a happy ending http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Also, what exactly do you mean by "played on my condition"?<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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entropy777
11-09-2006, 10:54 PM
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Clinical Depression, (No kidding?) removes most of your interest in the opposite sex.. And it did have a happy ending, except now she is insisting I go see someone for my condition bla bla bla. stuff like that, but I think that's just a phase.</span><div class="ev_tpc_signature">

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

UnaUuru
11-09-2006, 11:25 PM
Entropy, dear, a happy ending is an ending where the two people overcome all the dragons and magic castles and wizards and have a grand wedding and banquet and discover that at least one of them is royalty and all the little ickle Disney characters get to play important roles in the wedding and...and I've forgotten how this all fits into real life...yyyyeah. Anyway, make sure you keep your mind open to the possibility that you might need help, for if you ever move to that stage. Y'know?<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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FableB
11-10-2006, 08:14 AM
^That is the 5 years old, barbie loving Ruby talking...http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

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UnaUuru
11-10-2006, 10:23 PM
Well, I wanted to say something that would make him keel over, twitching madly http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b275/Kewbet/Kews%20pics/sigfinal.jpg
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ATFA666
11-14-2006, 02:34 PM
Originally posted by entropy777:
<span class="ev_code_GREY">Clinical Depression, (No kidding?) removes most of your interest in the opposite sex.. And it did have a happy ending, except now she is insisting I go see someone for my condition bla bla bla. stuff like that, but I think that's just a phase.</span>

I know what you mean I have the same thing and my fiance bothers me all the time about that and the other stuff wrong with me(do all women do that).
Anyway good choice and the best of luck to ya.