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View Full Version : "The Bizarro Il-2 Forums"



stalkervision
07-26-2007, 05:58 PM
Post exactly the opposite of what you would normally say on any Il-2 subject and try to have an exactly opposite personality to what you normally have.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


make up "bizarro topics" right here..



First starter topic..


"The 303 caliber machine gun, the most superior aircraft gun in all of Il-2! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif"

Only the Japanese Oscar's guns are in competition with it.."

Low_Flyer_MkVb
07-26-2007, 06:01 PM
The Bf 109 - so good that Gabreski asked Spaatz for a squadron.

joeap
07-26-2007, 06:05 PM
This "game" sucks and is so biased against the good guys.

stalkervision
07-26-2007, 06:08 PM
Originally posted by Low_Flyer_MkVb:
The Bf 109 - so good that Gabreski asked Spaatz for a squadron.

I disagree! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif The cannons on the 109 do nothing but throw big giant soft spitballs and plane is incapable of diving whatsoever and turns into flamming reckage at the slightest random hit. It will turn on a dime but what is so good about that when any spitfire can outrun You?

Waldo.Pepper
07-26-2007, 06:11 PM
I like small boys.

stalkervision
07-26-2007, 06:14 PM
Originally posted by Waldo.Pepper:
I like small boys.

I said the opposite of what you normally do.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Please continue... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

stalkervision
07-26-2007, 06:19 PM
The german "spitfire" why it helped win the war over the most oppressive dictator of all time Winston Churchill...

fabianfred
07-26-2007, 06:22 PM
the AI are the true 'Ace's' in this sim....unlike the humans..who zip around and 'flip-flop' then blame it all on lag

stalkervision
07-26-2007, 06:22 PM
BOB/SOW come out tomorrow morning at 6 am right on time as is usual for Ubisoft games..

fabianfred
07-26-2007, 06:24 PM
the attack on Pearl harbor was a complete surprise......(and so was 9/11)

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

Jutocsa
07-26-2007, 06:27 PM
The USA win the war alone http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Oh and I love the shooting parachutes threads popping up from time to time

Freelancer-1
07-26-2007, 06:28 PM
I agree with whatever Tagert says, cuz he's always right.

Except if he disagrees with raaaid, who is teh shnizzle.

jimDG
07-26-2007, 06:52 PM
Pong - the best sim ever

Ballistic4N6
07-26-2007, 07:10 PM
I don't know why ANYONE flies Il2-FB-AEP etc.
The flight modeling, weapon/damage effects and maps are SO MUCH better when Micro$oft makes a combat flight sim!!

(gag...)

Alloy007P
07-26-2007, 07:13 PM
Raaid's posts are the most meaningfull and true posts in all of UBI's Forums.

Zeus-cat
07-26-2007, 07:15 PM
raaaid should be put in charge of all flight modelling for SOW:BoB.

JG14_Josf should be put in charge of all legal issues and advertising for all of Oleg's games.

SeaFireLIV
07-26-2007, 07:21 PM
I dun unnerstand why teh spitfrie got sdhot dwn by teh evil germin fockywulf that lst world wor eleven in 1954. any rissians have plnes whne they nver did in any of teh films I see.

oleggg`s sims are stoopid an poked.

mbfRoy
07-26-2007, 07:26 PM
I love BoB2 WOV, the game feels so realistic!

heywooood
07-26-2007, 08:23 PM
this thread frightens and confuses me...really.

Crash_Moses
07-26-2007, 08:31 PM
i wouldnt fly the SBD even if one of you pathetic morons !@#$%! me up the !@#$%! with a !@#$%! backhoe and then !@#$%! all over my !@#$%! shoes.

waffen-79
07-26-2007, 08:33 PM
P-51 teh WaR wInNeR, BE SURE!

Feathered_IV
07-26-2007, 08:47 PM
109 vs Spit undercarriage retraction times are proof of German racial superiority.

AKA_TAGERT
07-26-2007, 09:38 PM
I don't know what I would have done without MAX's and Crump's help!

Akronnick
07-26-2007, 09:45 PM
Don't bother getting TrackIR, you really don't need it, and Logitech makes the best gaming hardware ever. Not that you need a joystick, the keyboard is the most effective controller.

FE_pilot
07-26-2007, 09:50 PM
This thread makes sense to us all. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

Haigotron
07-26-2007, 10:15 PM
-1

lowfighter
07-26-2007, 11:20 PM
The role of ground forces in WWII consisted mainly in clapping hands each side of the frontline whenever an enemy plane went down in flames. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

willyvic
07-26-2007, 11:39 PM
Great thread. Interesting, valid, and smack dab on the topic of WWII air combat.

VW

Friendly_flyer
07-26-2007, 11:42 PM
*******s, *******s all of you!

P-51 rulez, and evil Oleg has porked it and non of you fanboiz can see it! A plane that can fly with a polished metal finish must be teh best. And it looks sooo goood tooo!

M_Gunz
07-27-2007, 03:26 AM
Originally posted by Jutocsa:
The USA win the war alone http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

And only "Teh P-51's" were needed at all.

M_Gunz
07-27-2007, 03:29 AM
Originally posted by AKA_TAGERT:
I don't know what I would have done without MAX's and Crump's help!

You sure would not have reached the pinnacle of truth you have....

msalama
07-27-2007, 03:32 AM
U screw up OL U never ever apologize. A simple insult is enough.

Rammjaeger
07-27-2007, 03:43 AM
- making a WW2 simulator in which the player is rewarded for the destruction of other aircraft and vehicles is outrageously blatant glorification of war and is morally reprehensible

- I insist on having the B-17, the B-24 and the Avro Lancaster as flyable in 4.09

Manu-6S
07-27-2007, 03:58 AM
HayateAce is the only poster worthy of admiration http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

ploughman
07-27-2007, 04:13 AM
I do hope we don't get any skinny on SoW: BoB in the near future. I've had my fill of updates.

n00bd00d
07-27-2007, 04:40 AM
Let's discuss comparative e-retention and FM in general among German and allied a/c. It will surely turn into a contructive and fruitful discussion since our sole interest is improving simulation realism and online playability, and how to make those two meet. Our stats on War Clouds DF has of course absolutely nothing to do with it. I mean, this isn't a p1ss1ng contest, right?

raaaid
07-27-2007, 04:45 AM
the nazis were completely beaten in wwii, havent seen anyone lately

WTE_Ibis
07-27-2007, 05:24 AM
Paris Hilton is a genius and will be enshrined as Americas greatest' mind.

.

stalkervision
07-27-2007, 06:24 AM
Why don't people ask more questions about when the new BOB/SOW game be released?

I know Ubisoft games always normally come out right on their press release dates but this one is a few days late now. Why haven't any people asked when it will come out? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

Monty_Thrud
07-27-2007, 06:35 AM
Manu-6s, Brain32, Josf, know exactly how all WW2 aircraft should handle...

han freak solo
07-27-2007, 06:44 AM
Originally posted by Haigotron:
-1

-1, too.

lowfighter
07-27-2007, 07:27 AM
Originally posted by stalkervision:
Why don't people ask more questions about when the new BOB/SOW game be released?



Oh, that's simple, who cares about this whatever-it-means BOB/SOW?

rnzoli
07-27-2007, 07:33 AM
Rich Nancy

Haigotron
07-27-2007, 07:33 AM
OBTL

(no typos)

LW_lcarp
07-27-2007, 07:52 AM
I love spending all my time at work and being able to spend so little time with my family

stalkervision
07-27-2007, 08:09 AM
Originally posted by Haigotron:
OTBL

(no typos)


POSSLQ

(no typos) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

stalkervision
07-27-2007, 08:11 AM
why the oscar fighter is the most undamagable plane in all Il-2 1946

LW_lcarp
07-27-2007, 08:14 AM
Got another one

RBJ Is the Ace of Aces

danjama
07-27-2007, 08:37 AM
your all strait

BrewsterPilot
07-27-2007, 08:55 AM
Originally posted by danjama:
your all strait

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/compsmash.gif

waffen-79
07-27-2007, 09:10 AM
Originally posted by Manu-6S:
HayateAce is the only poster worthy of admiration http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif
+1

MEGILE
07-27-2007, 09:55 AM
Tuna sub of the day sucks a$$

JarheadEd
07-27-2007, 10:00 AM
Megile's sig sucks a$$.

Uncle_Stranger
07-27-2007, 10:28 AM
raaid, is completly insane!

danjama
07-27-2007, 10:30 AM
Originally posted by Uncle_Stranger:
raaid, is completly insane!

i dont think you get the idea of the thread! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

carguy_
07-27-2007, 10:34 AM
VVS planes have never been overmodelled.

MEGILE
07-27-2007, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by JarheadEd:
Megile's sig sucks a$$.

Now that's too far. Take it back squire, before I biffin you on the noggin don't you know.

John_Wayne_
07-27-2007, 10:38 AM
I love Kurfy.

msalama
07-27-2007, 10:45 AM
I know I'm only 16, but still noy Aim in nöy n33d of fürther skööling to nöy al dem eerophysiks in dis kame is pÖrK3dd.

B sure

BaronUnderpants
07-27-2007, 03:06 PM
Originally posted by danjama:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Uncle_Stranger:
raaid, is completly insane!

i dont think you get the idea of the thread! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


I do. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Ballistic4N6
07-27-2007, 05:40 PM
The Ubi marketing geniuses and distribution magicians will get the next product on the shelves on time and in quantities that will overwhelm the store spaces!

JarheadEd
07-27-2007, 06:50 PM
Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by JarheadEd:
Megile's sig sucks a$$.

Now that's too far. Take it back squire, before I biffin you on the noggin don't you know. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


I TOTALLY understood that.

Your sig sucks A$$.

There is no way that I would ever even consider

sniffing those floorboards.


.

han freak solo
07-27-2007, 06:53 PM
Originally posted by JarheadEd:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by JarheadEd:
Megile's sig sucks a$$.

Now that's too far. Take it back squire, before I biffin you on the noggin don't you know. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


I TOTALLY understood that.

Your sig sucks A$$.

There is no way that I would ever even consider

sniffing those floorboards.


. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cowboys hater. Join da club. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-tongue.gif

AKA_TAGERT
07-27-2007, 08:37 PM
Originally posted by M_Gunz:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by AKA_TAGERT:
I don't know what I would have done without MAX's and Crump's help!

You sure would not have reached the pinnacle of truth you have.... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>LOL!

GOLD!

JadehawkII
07-27-2007, 10:36 PM
WWII was won Flying IL2 Forgotten Battles because the P-51's were porked using porked .50's Flown by porked Pilots which were fuled by porked gas and oil. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

Now, after typing all that, I'm hungry for a pork sandwich! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/mockface.gif

Uncle_Stranger
07-28-2007, 04:32 AM
Originally posted by danjama:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Uncle_Stranger:
raaid, is completly insane!

i dont think you get the idea of the thread! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

From my point of view he is sane. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

But not in this thread.


PS: Special folks stand togheter. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Feathered_IV
07-28-2007, 08:07 AM
Jumoschwantz looks good without a shirt.

Airmail109
07-28-2007, 08:11 AM
I like sleeping with fat chicks

raaaid
07-28-2007, 08:22 AM
hey whats wrong with fat chicks i prefer a fat chick than a too thin one

i like big boats and cant deny it

MEGILE
07-28-2007, 09:02 AM
Originally posted by raaaid:


i like big boats and cant deny it

LMAO

but raaaaid has a point

more cushion for the pushin

Crash_Moses
07-28-2007, 11:02 AM
Mudflaps...my girls' got 'em...

Airmail109
07-28-2007, 11:28 AM
You cant manuver fat chicks like skinny or curvy chicks.

Plus I dont like having a crushed pelvis...and dude....ughhh fat and cellulose

ewww

wayno7777
07-28-2007, 11:49 AM
Gesundheit!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/crackwhip.gif

M_Gunz
07-28-2007, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raaaid:


i like big boats and cant deny it

LMAO

but raaaaid has a point

more cushion for the pushin </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

To quote Spinal Tap: The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

Oy those boys were sick!

Stew278
07-28-2007, 12:38 PM
Flight sims are for immature losers. I'm going to go do something more sophisticated with my time like watch "Dancing with the Stars" while scarfing a quart of ice cream.

or

OMFG PC's are for nOObs. Xbox and PS3 roxxors

or

This game sux, I'm gonna go play CFS3

or

Teemkillaz and shuteshootrs are L33T

stalkervision
07-28-2007, 01:30 PM
Why is the Microsoft combat flight sim 3 so superior to the Maddox flight sims? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif

with the soon to be introduced MSFS comabat 4 BOB>SOW on earth microsoft is raising the bar once again with their combat flight sims..

The game runs on the slowest of computers but still has A+ graphics and superior damage effects! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

I just wish their series of just completed new combat FF joysticks were as good but as is well know microsoft ff joysticks are of the poorest of quality and performance.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif

msalama
07-29-2007, 12:54 AM
I've never seen an asshat on these boards.

TC_Stele
07-29-2007, 01:22 AM
You can't raise the gear on the Val by just pressing "G." You have to crank it, so set a key in the controls menu.

Ratsack
07-29-2007, 04:03 AM
Originally posted by M_Gunz:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raaaid:


i like big boats and cant deny it

LMAO

but raaaaid has a point

more cushion for the pushin </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

To quote Spinal Tap: The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo...

Ratsack

MEGILE
07-29-2007, 04:12 AM
Originally posted by Ratsack:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by M_Gunz:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raaaid:


i like big boats and cant deny it

LMAO

but raaaaid has a point

more cushion for the pushin </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

To quote Spinal Tap: The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo...

Ratsack </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo

Tab_Flettner
07-29-2007, 07:08 AM
P-51 won teh war!

DuxCorvan
07-29-2007, 07:46 AM
A study and comparison of performance between several types in RL and in game. Complex, geeky charts included.

And please, stay OT.

JG52Karaya-X
07-29-2007, 09:00 AM
HayateAce is the most sensible, best mannered and unbiased warbird expert on these forums, seriously!

Apart from that he can tell his arse from his elbow, now that is just... WOOOWWW

PS: Why is it that the US Army did not upgraded their Shermans with a Phalanx of .50CAL MGs when everybody knows that "Ma Deuce" could slice through Tigers like a hot knife through butter... any pointers?

JG52Karaya-X
07-29-2007, 09:10 AM
PPS:

I AM CRY! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif

stalkervision
07-29-2007, 12:04 PM
I enjoy flying the 109 with it's backwords facing propeller..

It flies like the Wright Brother's plane! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

M_Gunz
07-29-2007, 02:24 PM
All the planes are modeled perfectly down to the last micrometer and fly absolutely perfect
yet they pale compared to every other combat flight sim made since 1996.

They are also drop-dead easy to fly so that just anyone can get the most out of all of them.

Platypus_1.JaVA
07-29-2007, 02:59 PM
This thread is actually not a bad idea, I'm glad the pilot's lounge is gone

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

stalkervision
07-29-2007, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by Platypus_1.JaVA:
This thread is actually not a bad idea, I'm glad the pilot's lounge is gone

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif


what it's not gone HERE ?? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

It called " the lounge pilots " remember? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

HuninMunin
07-29-2007, 04:16 PM
The image of an unpainted Spit turns me on.

JG52Karaya-X
07-30-2007, 10:26 AM
Clipped wing Spits are teh sexy!

Kongo Otto
07-30-2007, 11:38 AM
The P-51 is undermodelled.