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View Full Version : Funniest online kill ever!



FatBoyHK
12-11-2004, 11:40 AM
On warcloud tonight, just got a kill, but his teammate immediately hooked on my tail. He has the upper hand in both energy and angle, so I didn't hestisate to disengage and go home.

I was heading away of my base, so I need to fly a big circle, otherwise the 109 behind will surely got me... It was a long flight, and my fuel was barely enough. When I arrived at my base, I checked that he was no longer at my six ...good, he finally given up.

But just 2 seconds before touch down, all AAA on my base started firing toward me...OMG that 109 was still there!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

I couldn't do anything other than just pray... but my faith apparently can't stop the bullet http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif At the moment I touched down, I left wing got hit, I looked left, I found that my left flap wasn't there anymore, and then I saw that 109 soared by.

All in a sudden, that 109 spinned and crashed in front of me!!! And I see the "Enemy Aircraft destroyed" message popped up!!! As I rememebered I have only attacked one plane in this sorties, so I shouldn't have hitted this 109 before. The only reason I can think of, was that he collided with my flap, that was knocked off by his fire....how unfotunate his guy was !! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

But I didn't feel sorry of this guy, vulucter deserve a sad ending just like this http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

georgeo76
12-11-2004, 01:30 PM
Nope, the funniest kill online ever happened to me a couple of weeks ago on VFC*Coops. I was in a Tony engaged w/ Hellcats. I downed 1 and badly damaged another 2. While I was chasing one hellcat, my ammo ran out so I broke off. All of a sudden I notice 2 other hellcats coming after me. I send in my wingman (AI) and both follow him. Always honorable, I tried to sneak away while they were chewing up my wingman.

Didn't work however, and I ended up w/ 3 Hellcats chasing me down. I tried yanking and banking for a while, but knew it was hopeless, so I struggled to climb high enough to bail. I was able to bail out successfully, but was sure my pilot would be shot as a hellcat was screaming in right @ that moment. Well, the Hellcat hit my pilot alright... w/ his wing! His wing snapped clean off and he rolled into the surf. Best part was that afterwards, my pilot pulled the chord and deployed his chute apparently unharmed! Don't know for sure how he survived, but I suspect he didn't hit the bandit w/ his body but w/ his Samurai Sword!

Banzai!!!

FatBoyHK
12-11-2004, 01:38 PM
I bet you didn't get credit of that kill, right? but I did!! and it is a full credit (100 points) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

HayateAce
12-11-2004, 01:38 PM
My funniest was after I had shot up an enemy. I powered back to admire my handiwork and watch him bail and maybe even snap his photo. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Then it unfolded in slowmo from there on. The canopy falls away, and I see this body come out and before I know it he is coming closer and closer and I am stunned to the point I don't even evade.

The last thing I saw was his face. I kid you not it was a custom Elvis Presely pilot skin and the bugger came right through my armored glass!

Killed us both.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

pendragon1984
12-11-2004, 01:43 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Well, the Hellcat hit my pilot alright... w/ his wing! His wing snapped clean off and he rolled into the surf. Best part was that afterwards, my pilot pulled the chord and deployed his chute apparently unharmed! Don't know for sure how he survived, but I suspect he didn't hit the bandit w/ his body but w/ his Samurai Sword!

Banzai!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See, that is way too funny/awesome, because here's the scene as played out in my head:

We see a Japanese man in WWII-era pilot's gear in freefall, a white bandana emblazoned with a crimson sunburst tied around his head. He looks up, noticing that an American Hellcat fighter is about to intersect with his trajectory, and he will surely die if they collide.

Closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, we hear the pounding of taiko drums and the mournful wail of several eastern wind instruments. His hand strays to the hilt of the sword strapped over his back, and with barely a conscious effort we see a silver-white flash as he draws the weapon forth and makes several cuts midair, almost in the same motion.

Calmly he slides the katana back in its saya, and pulls the ripcord on his parachute. Behind him, the Hellcat flies on for several seconds, apparently unharmed. Then, as the pilot turns the plane to head home, the starboard wing falls off and the American is forced to bail out, as well.

Yeah... sorry... I just got done watching a Zatoichi movie on IFC http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Jagdgeschwader2
12-11-2004, 01:49 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HayateAce:
My funniest was after I had shot up an enemy. I powered back to admire my handiwork and watch him bail and maybe even snap his photo. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Then it unfolded in slowmo from there on. The canopy falls away, and I see this body come out and before I know it he is coming closer and closer and I am stunned to the point I don't even evade.

The last thing I saw was his face. I kid you not it was a custom Elvis Presely pilot skin and the bugger came right through my armored glass!

Killed us both.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Now that is funny! I can just picture that. It must have been the big fat Las Vegas Elvis in order to have penetrated the armored glass! Ladies and gentleman Elvis has left the building!

http://home.earthlink.net/~jagdgeschwader26/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/jagdgeschwader2s.jpg

Shadow1706
12-11-2004, 03:11 PM
My first maneuvering kill. Happened in Warclouds few weeks ago.
I was flying merrily along in my trusty FW-190 D9 when I saw a P-38 coming in with unfriendly intentions off my starboard wing. I quickly executed a split-S so I could see what the other guy would do and get some speed to make a quick getaway incase he had his friends with him. As I leveled off the last thing I see is the P-38 heading straight to the ground. I guess compressibility and gravity combined sucks.

SithSpeeder
12-11-2004, 04:57 PM
HayateKid--

ROTFLMAO...That was FUNNY. Thanks for sharing.

For me, on a no-icon game, I snuck up on what I thought was a bad guy...got really close, approaching from the rear quadrant, approximately the bandit's 5:00. I opened up with cannons and mgs at point blank range (chunks starting to fly), he started firing (?) and BOOM...black screen. Enemy aircraft destroyed (??). I thought, WTF?

Upon saving the track and playing it back, turned out I had snuck up on a *friendly*, I started laying into him, but it turned out he was exchanging head to head fire with a 109 (more cannon and mgs) and we basically had a 3-way killing/collision/explosion. Once I understood what happened, I was laughing for a good 5 minutes!

* _54th_Speeder *

willyvic
12-11-2004, 08:41 PM
I was busting up a zero in a p-40. Another was on my tail. I lit up the zero and it exploded. I actually saw the still spinning prop come by my cockpit. Anyway, I flew through the orange fire ball and circled back to the other zero. Nowhere to be seen. I flew on for a few and kept hearing what I thought was my motor revving up and down. after a bit I decided to climb and to my surprise the zero "appeared" in my windscreen bigger than I have ever seen while playing. He had been flying the same track above me without knowing it and I never took the time to look up. I squeezed the trigger, he fire-balled, my engine quit, and we both bailed at the same time. We laughed all the way down. He got the kill. Ya see some cool things in this game for sure.

WV

Old_Canuck
12-11-2004, 11:12 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Great thread. Wish we could see more of them.

Fehler
12-12-2004, 01:12 AM
I was on Warclouds a while back and a P-51 came in to vulch me as I was just starting my engines.

I heard the thumps of his .50 cals hitting my plane and it suddenly sank to the right (Guess he shot off my wing or something)

The guy flew by and to my amazement, he was heading towards the center of my revi. I let loose all guns, and the 30mm's of my FW190 A-9 hit him square on the bottom of his right wing.

The wing popped off and he went spiraling into the ground.

That was probably one of the luckiest shots I have ever had in a DF server, and all while quite immobile myself.

XyZspineZyX
12-12-2004, 01:38 AM
This is actually a real story:

A P-38 pilot in New Guinea very early in the war was buzzing over an airfield trading insults over the radio with Japanese airmen on the ground below him. Finally, one Japanese pilot got fed up and decided to come up to take on his challenge! So he starts to dive on the zero as it's taking off ... Just as he's lining up the shot he remembers he still has bombs on the racks and not wanting to risk stalling on the pullout he pops off the bombs and his shot is ruined. So as he's pulling away, he looks down: Just as the Zero is clearing the end of the runway near the water, his bombs detonate throwing up a massive shower of water.

The zero flies through the plume, staggers, and crashes into the ocean!

When the pilot gets back to Moresby, General Kenny berates him for not using his guns like a real man... "You're supposed to SHOOT them down, not splash water on them!"... and then Kenny awards the pilot an Air Medal for scoring the first kill in his command.

FatBoyHK
12-12-2004, 01:49 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fehler:
I was on Warclouds a while back and a P-51 came in to vulch me as I was just starting my engines.

I heard the thumps of his .50 cals hitting my plane and it suddenly sank to the right (Guess he shot off my wing or something)

The guy flew by and to my amazement, he was heading towards the center of my revi. I let loose all guns, and the 30mm's of my FW190 A-9 hit him square on the bottom of his right wing.

The wing popped off and he went spiraling into the ground.

That was probably one of the luckiest shots I have ever had in a DF server, and all while quite immobile myself. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As I said, vulcher deserve a sad ending like this, I have no regret http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif

FatBoyHK
12-12-2004, 02:08 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgentBif:
This is actually a real story:

A P-38 pilot in New Guinea very early in the war was buzzing over an airfield trading insults over the radio with Japanese airmen on the ground below him.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

WTF? why use radio if it was more effective to deal with this guy with your AAA?

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgentBif:
Finally, one Japanese pilot got fed up and decided to come up to take on his challenge! So he starts to dive on the zero as it's taking off ... Just as he's lining up the shot he remembers he still has bombs on the racks
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He buzzed around the field but forgot to bomb the he11 out of it??

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgentBif:
When the pilot gets back to Moresby, General Kenny berates him for not using his guns like a real man... "You're supposed to SHOOT them down, not splash water on them!"... and then Kenny awards the pilot an Air Medal for scoring the first kill in his command. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If I was this guy, I dare not to report the whole sorry... it is just too shameful!!!! His commander would laughed to death if he know the truth, lol

civildog
12-12-2004, 02:20 AM
I was flying a P-40 with a couple of squadmates in a room with just '40s and Zeroes. We all took off and headed north up a valley towards the Zero base in formation and bounced some Zeroes heading south at a lower altitude.

After the furball we were naturally scattered to heck and gone all over the valley and tried to regroup using Teamspeak comms since we couldn't see eachother and the room didn't allow map icons. I saw a green plane heading north on my 10 o'clock and started following it but never took a closer look at it since I thought it was the guy I was talking to. He thought he was with me but the plane he was following was someone without Teamspeak who we didn't know.

Anyway, I drifted a little behind and towards the plane I was with (I'm not the smoooothest formation flyer) and realised that it was a Zero without the meatballs! No doubt one of the ones that survived the furball and was heading home and I had been cruising alone with this guy for 5 minutes at least!

I snap-rolled onto his six and vaporized him. I had read about things like that happening in real life but this was hilarious in the game! He must have heard my engine beside him but probably thought I was a teammate, too.

Moral of the story: ALWAYS CHECK YOUR SIX!

civildog
12-12-2004, 02:30 AM
The other funny kill I had (though I wasn't credited it with it) was when I was lining up a strafing run on a Tiger with my IL2M3 at about 50(-) meters altitude. A 109 came screaming down at me and started firing.

I switched to my gunner's seat just in time to see the 109 plow right into the Tiger before I could fire a shot.

Speed kills.

XyZspineZyX
12-12-2004, 03:30 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CivilDog:
Anyway, I drifted a little behind and towards the plane I was with (I'm not the smoooothest formation flyer) and realised that it was a Zero without the meatballs! No doubt one of the ones that survived the furball and was heading home and I had been cruising alone with this guy for 5 minutes at least!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I recently read an account early in the war where three Japanese planes flew a landing pattern and actually tried to trap on an American carrier. It was the gunners on the carrier that first noticed the mistake and started firing while they were on final approach... As the planes blew past the deck a bunch of American pilots joined in the festivities by pulling their Colts and emptying their magazines at em.

The Japs made it away... LOL, prolly cause everyone was so surprised that they couldn't get a steady bead on the planes.

After everyone calmed down, the Americans were wishing they had just kept their cool and let the planes land http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

(Books was: Dauntless Helldivers by Harold Buell)

tjaika1910
12-12-2004, 03:59 AM
It has been a few good "IL2-moments" yes. One I remember particular was that I was chased by a better pilot/plane early in my career, low in the mountains. I was heading for a cloud for a little trick. I did not seek shelter but knew the mountain rose up to a little hill in and behind the cloud. My pursuer followed, and inside I climbed hard to avoid the hill, the hun didnt and smashed head on ;-)

LeadSpitter_
12-12-2004, 09:45 AM
Most memorable and funniest kill for me was flying at 8000m in wc over a german runway, getting my wingshot off by aaa falling to the ground and hitting a german plane that just took off and getting called a noob for colliding http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

That was the most memorable or colliding thru bombers wings with 190s and 109s without firing a shot and getting a kill everytime.


another funny kill was the bail out and occassionally hit the plane trailing your 6 but they changed it.


When a 180-225 pilot actually exploded the plane trailing its 6. Now you just fly thru them which is incredibly lame. Oleg change it back dont listen to the arcade big dot insert quarter arcade fans ever.

you seen what a 5lb bird does to an ac imagine a human.

Platypus_1.JaVA
12-12-2004, 10:18 AM
This was not an online kill but, worth mentioning.

It was when the I-16 was first available for the original Il-2. I decided to try my lonelt I-16 on a full flight of 4X He-111. I downded the first two but, my ammo ran out. So, i thought "what the heck, it is offline, let's test how strong this new fighter really is". I slowed down the simulation a bit and sawed the tail of the first He-111 and the second one, and landing safely (not at base, mind you)

I was so surprised that I got away with it, I saved the track and I would've made a MPG file from it but, I didn't know about FRAPS. The track has been lost now.

VMF-451_Yankee
12-12-2004, 10:55 AM
I was playin around with a few friends, i had a P38L with the 12 HVARS and 1,000 lbs bombs.. I came to their airfield, found one of the guys on the ground, and i dropped a bomb, i dont remmber what my delay was at the time, but the bomb hit his plane and broke a wing off without exploding, he respawns, and jus as hes coming back, the bomb explodes, then i saw pieces of his plane flyin in every direction...

MosDef_99th
12-12-2004, 11:11 AM
This isn't a kill..but one night of VFC coops they had an airstart mission with 3 FW190/Mistels combo and a fleet of 110's and 109's against some Brits. Well it was the first run of this mission, and apparently the air armada was spaced a little too close: an AI 109 collided with the AI Mistel and exploded it in midair, which in turn exploded the 2 other Mistels like a chain reaction..which eventually destroyed about half of the german force in flight within 7 seconds or so the mission start....Luftwaffe flyers were *****in everybody else out.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifunbelievable.......ntrk available upon request...

XyZspineZyX
12-12-2004, 04:49 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by VMF-451_Yankee:
I was playin around with a few friends, i had a P38L with the 12 HVARS and 1,000 lbs bombs.. I came to their airfield, found one of the guys on the ground, and i dropped a bomb, i dont remmber what my delay was at the time, but the bomb hit his plane and broke a wing off without exploding, he respawns, and jus as hes coming back, the bomb explodes, then i saw pieces of his plane flyin in every direction... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Heh, the proverbial two birds with one stone... impressive.

Not as amazing, but still quite a feat, I once suffered a Yak stealing away with my right side H-stabilizer during a head-on pass. Problem is, he lost his right wing in the attempted theft http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

"Good shooting One!"

diomedes33
12-12-2004, 05:58 PM
About a year ago, I saw one of the most impressive funny kills ever. I was cruising in a 109 over enemy territory looking for a target. I saw two planes fairly close together as I approached, It was a p40 on a 190's low 6. I was in the middle of typing a warning to the 190 when I see a friendly plane engage the p40. It was an He111 going about 600 kph in a perfect B&Z. The wing blew off the p40 and the 111 pulled back up to altitude and nonchalantly typed "6 is clear."

tagTaken2
12-12-2004, 06:54 PM
Offline, but my favourite ever...

Swooped on 3 He IIIs in a Yak 9, damaging the lead left one badly, and as I shot under his belly, saw a grey blur in front of me... and then a black screen.

Saved the track, and on playback: he jettisoned his bombs straight on top of me. Killing me... himself... and the other two Heinkels.