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Wolfshead1972
10-08-2008, 04:40 PM
So, I'm sitting here downloading the rather weighty bunch of files for GWX 2.0 and I thought I might as well show my face.

I have been reading through the vaious topics on this forum for the last couple of weeks at work, and have finally decided to say hi.

Never really chipped in on a forum before - never enough time, typical blokey commitment issues etc etc etc, but having seen the strength of friendship and the spirit of helpfulness exhibited by the many, many contributors to this forum I could resist no longer. Besides, who outside this forum has nightmares about sociopathic hosiery? Who else would believe me?

I doubt I'll be a regular poster, but I wanted to say a very heartfelt thank-you to all who have posted tips and information, strategies and observations - and filled in the gaps left by UBI's rather sparse manual. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a UBI-knocker for the sake of it. I came to SH3 late - after the 1.4b patch, and with a wealth of information already available to me, mainly on this forum. I had a rather more "polished" (or even "finished") game to play than many of you stalwarts did. Kudos to Ubi for the work they did post-release. And as for the mod Dev teams - good lord, people ... Your work and commitment to enriching an already tremendously engrossing game is truly extraordinary.

Me? I'm currently commanding U-53, my beloved VIIB out of Willhelmshaven, 1st Flotilla. Just about to start my 11th patrol of my first career and the realism settings have crept up from the 40% mark to the 60's and are nearing where I believe I'll be leaving them for a while. I find I am in agreement with Kielhauler when he stated that torpedo solutions are for his exec - as a Kaleun, he's already been there and done all that and should just concentrate on the positioning of the boat ... but I may yet be tempted to manual targeting.

Few of the many, many games I have played over the last 25 years or so have hooked me quite the way that SH3 has. Sure, SH4 may look prettier, but there is something inherently cool about U-boats, and the war in the Atlantic is rather closer to home for me.

From the atmospheric patrol reports many of you have posted, it would appear that I am not alone in thinking this.

So, to all of you - RJ, klcarrol, kielhauler, psychfilm (if you're still out there), celeon, liddabit, VikingGrandad, Tuddley, Mariusj, Foehammer and all the many, many others of you - your enthusiasm and historical interest is infectious. It has brought me further into an already superb game. Your banter and sharing of knowledge has been illuminating, and at times, so funny I have needed sedation.

Long may it continue.

Yeet!

Foehammer-1
10-08-2008, 05:44 PM
What can I say? Welcome! Always nice to see new Kaleuns on the forumhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

VikingGrandad
10-08-2008, 06:43 PM
A hearty welcome to you Wolfshead1972 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Good to know you love SH3 as much as we all do! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Now you've switched from "silent running", we look forward to seeing you around in the forums... Don't be a stranger! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

tambor198
10-08-2008, 08:39 PM
So, to all of you - RJ, klcarrol, kielhauler, psychfilm (if you're still out there), celeon, liddabit, VikingGrandad, Tuddley, Mariusj, Foehammer and all the many, many others of you - your enthusiasm and historical interest is infectious. It has brought me further into an already superb game. Your banter and sharing of knowledge has been illuminating, and at times, so funny I have needed sedation.


I feel kinda left out here. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif


Only kidding. Welcome, Wolfshead1972 to the SH Forums. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

mariuszj1939
10-09-2008, 01:20 AM
Welcome Wolfshead1972 and ... enjoy http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Realjambo
10-09-2008, 03:03 AM
Welcome to the forums! It's always nice to see new members speaking in such warm regard for the community here.

...It's all downhill from here! (Only kidding! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif)

The_Silent_O
10-09-2008, 05:48 AM
Welcome,...but watch out for that Celeon fellow, he's been known to launch preemptive strikes without warning! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Celeon999
10-09-2008, 06:12 AM
Welcome aboard http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Realjambo
10-09-2008, 06:26 AM
but watch out for that Celeon fellow, he's been known to launch preemptive strikes without warning!

Not so much without warning, but without thinking - thus explaining why Celeon's plans to take over the world have yet to succeed http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Sold all those Tanks yet Celeon?

Messervy
10-09-2008, 06:33 AM
Willkommen! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Celeon999
10-09-2008, 06:37 AM
Sold all those Tanks yet Celeon?


This world financial crisis is hurting Celeon's efforts to sell the tanks http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif

klcarroll
10-09-2008, 07:36 AM
This world financial crisis is hurting Celeon's efforts to sell the tanks

That's just a lot of B.S.!!!!

Socko and I are standing here, ...money in hand, ...trying to buy two of your tanks, and your Somali henchmen insist that they have to figure out the Sales Tax!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/antsmith/1801580328_c406cc425c.jpg


Celeon, ...I hate to tell you this, but he's trying to use the keypad on his radio as a calculator!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

These tanks are going to rust away to nothing before these guys figure out how to close a sale!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

klcarroll

Celeon999
10-09-2008, 07:45 AM
Its hard to find good henchmen http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif


*operates his radio*

"Hassan ! Come in Hassan !...:"

"Whats taking so long down there ?" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

"Get that show finally on the road ! " http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

"Ever wondered why nobody wants to do serious buisness with you anymore since you boarded that scottish ship ?" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

"Well, here is a tip : For god's sake, take this kilt off your head !" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

"Kilt no good for big money ...you get me ?

AtlantikEel
10-09-2008, 12:35 PM
A hearty Willkommen to Wolfshead1972 and U-53,
from U-51 (on fourth patrol in GWX 2.1).

PhantomKira
10-09-2008, 01:38 PM
Welcome! Glad you decided to post after so long viewing. I certainly haven't looked back!

Realjambo
10-09-2008, 02:08 PM
Originally posted by Celeon999:
Its hard to find good henchmen http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif


*operates his radio*

"Hassan ! Come in Hassan !...:"

"Whats taking so long down there ?" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

"Get that show finally on the road ! " http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

"Ever wondered why nobody wants to do serious buisness with you anymore since you boarded that scottish ship ?" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

"Well, here is a tip : For god's sake, take this kilt off your head !" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

"Kilt no good for big money ...you get me ?


Hold on, I'm getting interference again on the intercom to the staff kitchen here at Jambo Towers...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/antsmith/1801580328_c406cc425c.jpg

"Mr. Celeon! Where is you being eh? Hassan calling for one hundred time!

You say Kilt was good look before! You say it make us look 'nice nice' to Tank buyers!

Mr. Celeon! Why these big US warships circle us? You say you arrive chop chop quick quick to help sell Tanks!

But no Mr. Celeon show up - he just change his mind on fashion advice? Kilt good / Kilt not good now?

Mr. Celeon? Where is you being now? You go work Donna Karan lady? Or George Amani? - You no want Tanks anymore, you sell pretty pretty dresses?"

Apologies, I couldn't resist http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

klcarroll
10-09-2008, 02:16 PM
Mr. Celeon? Where is you being now? You go work Donna Karan lady? Or George Amani? - You no want Tanks anymore, you sell pretty pretty dresses?"

In the meantime, Socko is getting impatient!!

He had his heart set on a personal T-72!!

Does Celeon REALLY want to disappoint Socko??? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

klcarroll

Realjambo
10-09-2008, 02:25 PM
I'm surprised Socko has shown so much restraint so far - What Socko wants, Socko goes and gets! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

... Surely a cordon of multi-national warships wouldn't stand in HIS way? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Celeon999
10-09-2008, 02:34 PM
Socko, please stay cool. Im sure we can find an agreement http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

klcarroll
10-09-2008, 02:39 PM
I'm surprised Socko has shown so much restraint so far - What Socko wants, Socko goes and gets!

Well Thanks!!! ...You really underestimate my efforts here!!

I have been working non-stop to convince Socko that he will get what he wants if he waits!!

Now, ....after your comments, ....he is looking for the best price on tickets to Berlin!!!

Celeon, ...if there is a lock on your bunker door, ...I suggest that you use it!!!

klcarroll

Celeon999
10-09-2008, 02:56 PM
Look, we will find a way to unload these tanks. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Ive called some friends who know a thing or two about "heavy metal" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


http://img56.imageshack.us/img56/1476/heavymetal211ps9di5.jpg

klcarroll
10-09-2008, 03:18 PM
Ive called some friends who know a thing or two about "heavy metal"


Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!! ...Do you REALLY believe that these overstuffed turkeys will do anything other than dip into your already stressed treasury????? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

You have a lot to learn about "mercenary friends"!!!!

klcarroll

Celeon999
10-10-2008, 11:24 AM
Now klcarrol is on the "imperialist agitators" list of "big K" and the "revolution crew" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif


http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8356/01020129585800ye6.jpg


*On to the radio*


"Hassan , stop whining !"


"Ze Amerikaner have no idea that their ships are surrounded themselves......by a army of Celeon's deadly bionic jellyfishes !" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

"If they start making problems , just tell me" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif


http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/4484/pilzewh6.jpg

Realjambo
10-10-2008, 11:46 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif I'm sorry but that photo of 'Big K' http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Looks like he has just popped out for a pint of milk! WHAT is he wearing? He looks like a Geography teacher http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

*RJ runs and hides, not taking any calls from Korea*

klcarroll
10-10-2008, 12:08 PM
Now klcarrol is on the "imperialist agitators" list of "big K" and the "revolution crew"


@Celeon;

OH JEEZ!!! .......GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Tell me the truth: .....Which do you personally find more frightening??? (...And think carefully!! ....Socko says that he always thought "The Midnight Knock" had a wonderful, dramatic quality!)


THIS bunch of moronic stiffs???

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8356/01020129585800ye6.jpg



....................Or my associate here!!!!

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q84/klcarroll/SOCKOAT37MM2.jpg


.....Oh, .....and BTW: Socko really likes your "deadly bionic jellyfishes"!!! He says that when you hit them with a 37mm round, ...they explode in a particularly satisfying way!!

klcarroll

Celeon999
10-10-2008, 12:15 PM
Originally posted by Realjambo:
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif I'm sorry but that photo of 'Big K' http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Looks like he has just popped out for a pint of milk! WHAT is he wearing? He looks like a Geography teacher http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

*RJ runs and hides, not taking any calls from Korea*


Well, Big K is a man of the people http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

From time to time he likes to take a bath in the masses and does not want to be recognized right away. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

Big Party for Kim (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSN7vZZZa44&feature=related)

Celeon999
10-11-2008, 01:19 PM
With all the fundamental difference between North Koreans and Americans..... there is something you seem to have in common.


Lets say that.. on the nuclear negotiation table.... you are talking at the same eye-height with each other http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif


Article (http://www.taiwannews.com.tw/etn/news_content.php?id=753256&lang=eng_news&cate_img=logo_world&cate_rss=WORLD_eng)

http://img.quoka.de/Kindertisch---foto-bild-71-12480971.jpg

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif


At the moment , they are discussing to adopt new standards for the size of clothes here in Germany as we, aswell as the dutch, danes and norwegians have become significantly taller in the last 100 years http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

Celeon is only 1.77 meters BTW ...So he is not affected http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

M0ttie
10-11-2008, 02:18 PM
Love the way they all appear to be 'bobbing up and down' as they march - made me think about a bunch of morris men with AK's instead of sticks.
How weird is that!

Celeon999
10-11-2008, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by M0ttie:
Love the way they all appear to be 'bobbing up and down' as they march - made me think about a bunch of morris men with AK's instead of sticks.
How weird is that!


It looks rediculous doesnt it ? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Ive seen other footage showing female DPRK soldiers marching in the same style.

It looks even more emberassing when they do it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

For comparison : East german army parade (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntlnY5-kfoY)

Quite impressing at 3:50 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

klcarroll
10-11-2008, 02:45 PM
@ Celeon;

You really need to sever your ties with the North Koreans!!! .....Those guys, with their "Red Square" type of parades, are clearly still living in the past century!!

(Socko says that he likes the way they bounce when they march; .....But also that he knows a better way to make them "bounce"!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif )


......And forget about your article that pretends to document relative population heights! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

The simple fact of the matter is that the "Average American" is just that!! ....An "average" of an extremely diverse population!!

Since WWII, the U.S. has been on the receiving end of a remarkable immigration from Asia and Central and South America: .....Is it at all surprising that such an influx of people might affect a meaningless statistic like "Average Height"???

If the author of your article can't grasp that fact, ....then how valid are any of his other points???

klcarroll

Realjambo
10-11-2008, 04:21 PM
Average

The very word is banned here at Jambo Towers.

Average is a perceived 'norm' defined by restrictive parameters often dictated by questionable methods deliberately engineered to offer comfort and solace to the masses. If you are deemed as 'Average' then you 'OK'.

Oh, and 'Normal' is a suppressive term too. Some experts in Sociology (in which I have studied) argue that 'Normal' is impossible to define in todays culture.

All bunkum! Any self respecting individual should regard themselves as far from 'Normal' or 'Average' but the true test is wether they choose to conform to standards or distinguish themselves.

Here endeth the lesson.

*Dings desk bell - Next!* http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Heinrich505
10-11-2008, 06:00 PM
That "goose step" march is almost impossible to do with a rifle. Imagine trying to do it with a freaking drum strapped to your leg.

As soon as we get Big K and his people addicted to Big Macs and McRibs (yummmmmmy!!), we will own them. They will bow to the new master, Double Arches. China is already wavering.....

Perhaps Celeon has some alternative reason for getting Socko all riled up....hmmmm? I heard him muttering about fancy pants bands and drums. It sounded positively menacing [shudders involutarily]

Heinrich505

Wolfshead1972
10-12-2008, 09:57 AM
You see?!!

A simple post of greeting HIJACKED by nutters and wierdos. Marvellous stuff. Keep it coming.

Celeon, put me down for 2 T-72's, extra ammo, hold the rust.

Tambor, what can else can I say, but sorry. Yours is of course a name I have seen many times in the various posts I have read. Greetings to you and to anybody else who feels left out - there are just too many decent people posting on this forum to name you all. Bound to miss someone - sorry if it was you.

Goose stepping Koreans, eh? Brrrrr. Scarey. Impressively uniform, but they all look like they're kicking the cans of the guys in front. Except the little clusters of guys in the really big hats who look all lonely. Bless.

Makes you wonder what's at the back of the parade driving them onward. Maybe it's a grizzled piece of Korean knitwear. Survivor of a dozen campaigns, a steely glint in his one good button and a hat the size of a radio telescope.

'Tain't like that in the British armed forces. No sir. No silly walks in Her Majesty's service. If you can't march properly (and wear a damn beret properly - sorry, my American colleagues but it shouldn't make you look like ... erm ... Field Marshall Montgomery ... ok, ok, sore point. It shouldn't stick out at the side, anyway) - if you cant' march and wear a beret a Sergeant Major makes you remove your own appendix with a rusty spoon and screams at you while you do it. Now that's a motivating force. A bit like toilet paper in the water when you're swimming.

Now. Where were we?

Ah! yes. Had a few problems with GWX 2.0 but I won't bore you with them - I'll go hunt through the previous posts and take a look over on the subsim site. I know you're there if I can't find what I want.

So, back on stock SH3 for the time being - on my 10th (my mistake previously) patrol and just bagged me a Fiji class Light Cruiser sitting looking all smug and safe in Lock Ewe - my thanks to the Community Manual for that tip-off. Onward to AM52 and plunder aplenty.

Thank you all for such a warm welcome. I'll try and find the time to post when I have anything worthwhile or really, really silly to say. (Unlikely in the first instance, a certainty in the second.)

Celeon999
10-12-2008, 12:17 PM
A simple post of greeting HIJACKED by nutters and wierdos.


This is the first time we did this..... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif

Really ... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif



Now for something completely different :

New York Philharmonic Orchestra plays "Arirang" in Pjong Yang , North Korea (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MchRHZx1Zwk)


Arirang @ wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arirang)

M0ttie
10-13-2008, 02:24 PM
Now for something completely different :

And very nice it was too...............

Realjambo
10-13-2008, 02:53 PM
A simple post of greeting HIJACKED by nutters and wierdos

Wolfshead1972, by using the word 'HIJACKED' in the above post signifies to me that you are already conversant with internet forums.

Therefore, you'll also be conversant in how they are policed, and the role Moderators occupy in these communities to do just that.

The word 'HIJACKED' set off two alarm bells here at Jambo Towers. Firstly the word itself, then all the bells went into over drive because it was written in capital letters.

I would not be doing my job if I didn't address this. So, if you feel the need to officially request this thread be reviewed at the the next Moderators meeting (The next one is on the back porch at tambor's) then you'll need to follow the correct procedures.

Don't worry, it's all anonymous. No one will ever know you used the word 'HIJACKED' I can assure you. There is no come back on you.

To do this, go to your nearest Tesco, (Sainsbury's don't do the forums - we have standards here you know) and find the Customer Service Desk. Ask for the 'Anonymous Forum Form #A12289B Revision 1.5'. If they feign puzzlement, fret not, it's merely a test - just look them in the eye, stand tall and say 'Real Jambo sent me' - That's the password. You can't get club card points on it I'm afraid.

Fill it in, making sure it is crayon please (colour choice is yours - go for your life by all means, but avoid glitter crayons as they don't last, they're a rip off - trust me)

Make sure you complete the section 'My favourite Moderator, who I propose gets this years pay rise is: B: Real Jambo.

Photocopy both sides (You did turn it over didn't you?) in triplicate. Post one copy to yourself, post the second to Ubi and the third copy - and this is crucial - you MUST fold up and place in the tray of your CD / DVD drive and close the tray. Your PC will then send that copy via the World Network Wide Spider Web to us here.

We'll unfold it at our end, don't worry - we can do that because we've been trained and then we'll be in touch.

Moderators. Protecting the community, and everyone trapped in it, since quite a while ago. (That includes you now, you won't be able to resist coming back, you'll see! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif)

Don't mention it - You're welcome! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

tambor198
10-13-2008, 03:17 PM
I would not be doing my job if I didn't address this. So, if you feel the need to officially request this thread be reviewed at the the next Moderators meeting (The next one is on the back porch at tambor's) then you'll need to follow the correct procedures.


I thought you said the next meeting was on tuddley's back porch. Dang, I'd better hurry up and get that back porch built. Your still buying the beer, right RJ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif



Tambor, what can else can I say, but sorry. Yours is of course a name I have seen many times in the various posts I have read. Greetings to you and to anybody else who feels left out - there are just too many decent people posting on this forum to name you all. Bound to miss someone - sorry if it was you.


Think nothing of it, Wolfshead. You'll learn after you've been around these forums for awhile that I have a very sensitive nature. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Wolfshead1972
10-13-2008, 05:41 PM
Blimey.

Just as well I didn't say ^@& then.

RJ.

Truly I am indebted to you. I had no idea that such delighfully beaurocracy-heavy environments existed outside of The Galactic Hyperspace Bypass Planning Council and Metropolitan Police Service (no, we're far too fluffy to be a "force" anymore - and crime is in decline, honest). Oh, and I'm Police Staff rather than an Officer, so before anyone asks - I have no means to quash parking tickets, bus-lane violations, congestion charge fines, speeding fines, investigations into gnome theft or poor oral hygiene etc, but I might just get you off a manslaughter charge in a pinch.

So it was with a song in my heart and a spring in my step that I sallied forth to the local branch of a certain supermarket armed with steely determination and a packet of crayola.

The callow youth at the till regarded me with an expression that I normally only find on fruit and vegetables, but I pressed on, undeterred. This was surely just a part of the initiaion process into the "olde users of the forum" cadre of which I have heard so much. I proudly demanded a copy of 'Anonymous Forum Form #A12289B Revision 1.5', adding (perhaps a touch smugly, I admit) that "Real Jambo sent me".

"Errr ... have you tried the greetings card section, sir?" said stripling enquired carefully, while idly excavating the contents of his left ear with his little finger (a frankly dizzying display of multi-tasking, to be sure)

"Mock me not, knave - I am onto your little game and I will have satisfaction, you see if I don't" I replied. Brandishing my crayons.

"I find a yoghurt can be quite satisfying, round about this time of the morning ... " the youth suggested.
"Only there's a bit of a queue forming, and you don't appear to have actually bought anything..."

"Tish, fip and fie. These good folk, these stout yeoman and gentlewomen will surely not see me thwarted!" I thundered, turning to regard the people behind me. Their surly looks of annoyance - clearly at said youth's incompetence - spurred me on.

"Real Jambo himself set me this quest. Tall chap. quite portly. Green. Lives in a tower and I seem to recall something about a swamp ... "

A manageress appeared at this point and quietly led me away to an office.

"So sorry, sir. He's new." She purred smoothly, whilst a nice security man gave me a full and rather familiar body search for pointy things. He handed me back my crayons.

"Now ... Anonymous Forum Form #A12289B Revision 1.5 was it?" She said, tapping the information into her computer.
"Oh!. Oh, well. Typed the word "HIJ@CKED" on a Ubi forum did we?" (She actually pronounced the "@" which impressed me not a little.)

"Who's been a naughty boy, then?"

"Erm, ... Socko?" I ventured, blushing a little.

"Yes, that's a given. Who else?"

"That swine assured me this would all be confidential" I mumbled, contrite.

"Mr Jambo let you off rather lightly, under the circumstances" she said. "I suggest you send him some flowers or something. In the meantime, I'm afraid Revision 1.5 is out of date, so please complete the Anonymous Forum form #A12289C Revision 2.8 (subsections n-q no longer apply unless you're a llama, incontinent, or an incontinent llama) and I'm afraid this one can only be filled in in blue crayon. I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Eaten the blue one." I mumbled.

She pulled a crisp, freshly sharpened blue crayon from the breast pocket of her jacket - it's paper smooth and pristine.
I may have drooled a little.

"Here, you can use mine."

"Thank you miss."

"And don't forget to fill in the bit about -..."

"- Yes, miss - the section about 'My Favourite Moderator'" I interrupted, feeling I had lost a little ground to this woman and manfully struggling to regain some semblance of dignity. Not easy with bits of blue crayon in your beard, but I think I pulled it off. She even photocopied the form for me. I left with my head held high, my self respect intact and rather curiously, the security guard's phone number.

So, your copy should now be in the post. My copy is also in the post and the one to put in the DVD tray on my PC?

Hah! You must think I'm greener than ... well, you.

I'm not messing up my drinks holder for anyone.


On a serious note, though ...

er ...

urm ...

errrrr ...

Nope. I've got nothing.

klcarroll
10-14-2008, 06:49 AM
"Who's been a naughty boy, then?"

"Erm, ... Socko?" I ventured, blushing a little.

"Yes, that's a given. Who else?"


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q84/klcarroll/Sockorebuts.jpg

AHEM!!!!............

NAUGHTY???? .....Isn't that just a bit arbitrary???

.....I mean, ..."naughty" compared to WHO???

If you're going to compare me with that Mother Teresa bimbo, ....then sure! ...I might be called "a little naughty"! (...But who wouldn't??)

Listen Nancy, ......I'm simply misunderstood!! I'm really no more "naughty" than any other psychotic world leader!! ...........Well, ....OK, OK!! .......But I'm certainly no worse than Vladimir or Genghis!!!!

YEET!!!

Celeon999
10-14-2008, 07:10 AM
Originally posted by M0ttie:
Now for something completely different :

And very nice it was too...............


In the first two weeks after this concert, more progess was made in the nuclear negotiations than in the last 10 years together.


Ive seen it in full length and it was awesome to see hardline communist officials in the audience trying to squeeze tears away, especially during Arirang.

But whats much more important is that this concert helped to change the impression ordinary north koreans have of americans.

Realjambo
10-14-2008, 08:12 AM
@ Wolfhunter - Truly a masterful account of your visit to Tesco's! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

Told you you would be back http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif Chaps, we got ourselves a real live`one here!

.... And very welcome you are too http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

PS: And you are honoured, you got my 5,800th post!

The_Silent_O
10-14-2008, 01:55 PM
Darn! There was a HIJACKED thread and I missed the whole show!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

Celeon is my notorious Hijackering buddy! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Celeon999
10-14-2008, 02:19 PM
Originally posted by The_Silent_O:
Darn! There was a HIJACKED thread and I missed the whole show!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

Celeon is my notorious Hijackering buddy! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif


And nobody ever got hurt during that http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif


Celeon has also a new attack strategy now....


Redheads at the Oktoberfest (This is a tactical double strike) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/5457/01020130626300tq5.jpg


"Urban" warfare on big scale http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/1315/080422ma220408banner076qp9.jpg

klcarroll
10-14-2008, 02:53 PM
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q84/klcarroll/Sockopeeks.jpg

@Celeon; ...Don't be too sure of your new offensive!

Celeon999
10-14-2008, 02:54 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gifhttp://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

Realjambo
10-14-2008, 03:41 PM
Hey Socko! You big wuss! All well and good popping up randomly in people's threads, Get 'yours' posted Here (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/6421019045/m/2181009296/p/1) - What you scared of eh? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Wolfshead1972
10-14-2008, 07:41 PM
Celeon.

Just checked out the Arirang thread. Beautiful. Great link, shrewd diplomacy.

Heinrich505
10-14-2008, 10:44 PM
Celeon.....Oh Good Lord, redheads with an ooom paa paa band, AND, babes in helmets. It truly is a double strike. Will this madness ever end? Run for it....another Babe Attack!!!

Wolfshead, I was in tears myself with your foray into Tescos. Bits of blue crayon in your beard, oh my....


Photocopy both sides (You did turn it over didn't you?) in triplicate. Post one copy to yourself, post the second to Ubi and the third copy - and this is crucial - you MUST fold up and place in the tray of your CD / DVD drive and close the tray. Your PC will then send that copy via the World Network Wide Spider Web to us here.

We'll unfold it at our end, don't worry - we can do that because we've been trained and then we'll be in touch.


RJ, you're killing me. "We can do that because we've been trained." I love it.

Heinrich505

The_Silent_O
10-15-2008, 06:15 AM
Originally posted by Celeon999:


And nobody ever got hurt during that http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif


Celeon has also a new attack strategy now....


Redheads at the Oktoberfest (This is a tactical double strike) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif




Forget the Redhead,...that's a beautiful Tuba! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Hmmm, something tells me that that Fraulein in the Bundeswehr Advert isn't really in the landwehr... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

The 'O' will have to start weaponizing his .jpg files in preparation for this 'not so' secret attack!

klcarroll
10-15-2008, 07:10 AM
Forget the Redhead,...that's a beautiful Tuba!

Listen, ..."O"; .....We REALLY need to talk!!

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

klcarroll

Messervy
10-15-2008, 09:44 AM
Originally posted by klcarroll:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Forget the Redhead,...that's a beautiful Tuba!

Listen, ..."O"; .....We REALLY need to talk!!

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

klcarroll </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Realjambo
10-18-2008, 03:57 PM
Celeon...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/antsmith/1801580328_c406cc425c.jpg

"Mr. Celeon! Where is you being?

We are no longer being in the news! What is happening going to be?!

All these tanks! We are not front page news anymore? Mr. Celeon everything too quiet!"

... Coverage of this situation has dropped off the radar, anyone know what is happening?

Or has Celeon ordered a news black out? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Celeon999
10-19-2008, 02:08 AM
There was too much fuzz going on about the tank deal. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

A little pause does us all good. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

And i need time to have a little personal chat with Hassan ! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Beside that,..Celeon's plan to focus the world's attention to a ship near the coast of Somalia was succesful.... and has given him the requiered "privacy" to make a own purchase.

Celeon organized himself a new deterence which will keep the Danes and Amis inside Denmark ... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

The_Silent_O
10-20-2008, 12:39 PM
Originally posted by Celeon999:
Celeon organized himself a new deterence which will keep the Danes and Amis inside Denmark ... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

What,...a jazz festival??? That would quickly get me out of Denmark...and quick! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

"Jazz is the last refuge of the untalented. Jazz musicians enjoy themselves more than anyone listening to them does."

- Steve Coogan, Playing Tony Wilson from the movie "24 hour party people"

The_O is not particular to jazz, I hope no offense is taken...

...BUT THAT IS A DARN FINE TUBA!

Celeon999
10-20-2008, 01:01 PM
The Silent_O's fascination about that Tuba scares Celeon a bit ... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif


About Celeon's new deterence .... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Isnt it funny how the military forgets certain pieces of equipment over and over again.

You know , tanks get left behind on pacific islands, crates full of jeep spare parts end up on some dutch attic....



Especially in greater numbers..sometimes nobody recognizes when something is left behind after a conflict ended... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

And then someone like Celeon stumbles upon it. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/5158/465909899895f4710eaowa6.jpg

http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/1056/pershing2ol3.jpg http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/1544/fkg1wa3.jpg

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/932/pershing1a02oz4.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/46/GEN_Pershing_as_Chief_Of_Staff.jpg

klcarroll
10-20-2008, 01:15 PM
My grandfather was decorated by "Black Jack" Pershing! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

klcarroll

The_Silent_O
10-20-2008, 02:21 PM
Originally posted by klcarroll:
My grandfather was decorated by "Black Jack" Pershing! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

klcarroll

Pershing,...I am not worthy to even look at the photo of him that Celeon posted! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

He spent 9 years as a 2nd Lieutenant and did not get to 1st Lieutenant until he was 35!,...there's hope for the O's career yet! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif


"Pershing Arrives to vacation in Eastern France"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Johnpershing.jpg