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View Full Version : 101 reasons why the Assassins are idiots (SPOILERS)



Rakudaton
12-27-2011, 06:42 AM
I was pondering recently a question: why is it that, despite being repeatedly slaughtered by the Assassins, the Templars are always on top?

Then the answer struck me: because the Assassins are idiots.

Sooooo, I think a list of their idiocies might be in order. Please contribute!


1. When confronted with a tall unclimbable fence, they resort to using an experimental and highly dangeous flying machine instead of... a ladder.
2. When overwhelmed, assassin recruits would NEVER run away. Even fighting an entire Janissary camp on their own, they would not run away. They just wouldn't.
3. "The hookblade has two parts, you see... the hook, and the blade." Need I say more?
4. They wore hoods in cities where literally NOBODY wore hoods, and highly obvious outfits.
5. Certain Assassins, like Altair, acquired highly useful items (eg Armour of Altair). Instead of passing these down through the Order, they would hide these for centuries in convoluted tomb-raider-like puzzles.
6. Other Assassins, like Ezio, would find said items (*cof* Altair's Apple *cof*) only to leave them where they were, solely on the basis of "I'm retiring".
7. Ezio had no compunction about recruiting people whose loyalties were highly questionable -- pickpockets, for example. It's wonder the Order's ranks weren't entirely composed of Templar agents.
8. Despite the Templars being aware of Assassins' fondness for haystacks (in the words of the Deacon: "Go hide in your haystack!"), the Assassins continued to leap into them from outrageous heights, never suspecting that the Templars might have filled them with rocks or anything.
9. They had free access to one of the most famous genii of all time, Leonardo Da Vinci, for decades... and yet the Templars were the ones who got him to build them war machines.

Add more! We need to get to 101!

Neal-Legend
12-27-2011, 07:08 AM
Id rather not trololol xD

LordWolv
12-27-2011, 07:25 AM
All good points

TheStar1
12-27-2011, 07:29 AM
6. Other Assassins, like Ezio, would find said items (*cof* Altair's Apple *cof*) only to leave them where they were, solely on the basis of "I'm retiring".

okay so, let me get this straight. ezio is getting on in his age, and you think he should've taken Altairs apple?

In an altair memory, altair says something along the lines of: I should have stopped and just carried on with my life. ive wasted it.

and ezio, in my eyes took this to heart and said; ive seen enough for 1 life.

now, by your thing of saying that the assassins are idiots because Ezio has seen enough and did his part means that you are just someone who doesnt understand what he meant by it. if youve watched embers, you will understand. im not trying to flame but this is my view on it ;p

Limed_-
12-27-2011, 07:57 AM
10. Ezio created a giant chain effect is Cappadocia, which cost many lives.

11. They created massive conflict in a.. *cough* Den Defence *cough*

12. They go around the kingdom collecting stupid flags.

13. Instead of jumping straight to the point, Ezio had to complete a large amount of side missions before focusing on his task.

14. Assassin recruits run into walls..

GLHS
12-27-2011, 07:58 AM
lol this stuff is pretty funny but I hope that's all this thread is for. Humor and making jokes. Cuz if it were serious then I'd be kinda mad.

LordWolv
12-27-2011, 08:40 AM
15. They went undercover as Janissaries and killed their target in the most difficult way they could think up instead of just throwing twenty bombs over the walls.

16. Every time they assassinate someone they go through a speech and a whole chat show with the target before standing up to see the twenty guards surrounding them, by which course the assassin is of course dead anyway about twenty times over.

17. Instead of using silent, deadly and completely reusable throwing knives they cooked up a design that is so loud it would alert all the guards within half a mile and using bullets that just break up.

18. They wear full armouries, white cloaks made out of fine materials that no civilians whatsoever will wear and expect to be able to walk the streets incognito.

19. They work in the dark to serve the light, yet happily fly their symbol over the whole of the city and openly own towers.

20. They don't consider the possibility of templars putting drawing pins in the bottom of hay bales for a laugh.

DavisP92
12-27-2011, 09:32 AM
LOL

21. Ezio wears the same cloths for days and years, they must smell horrible.

22. Assassin recruits can't even swim

23. Noone but Ezio can swim.

24. NPCs don't tell guards that there is someone killing a group of other guards

25. Ezio may not be a stealthy assassin but he is a great soldier. Soldier's Creed

Sun.Tzu.GE
12-27-2011, 09:52 AM
I don't mean to insult anyone,even if this post isn't meant to be taken too seriously,BUT if you think assassin's creed isn't realistic enough and doesn't make sense,try leaving the house and experience real life instead of video games.http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

pacmanate
12-27-2011, 10:19 AM
26. Assassin recruits shoving each other of buildings (sometimes into rivers) resulting in a death

27. The Assassin's want to help the people yet they pickpocket even the poorest of souls

28. Ezio not needing Viagra to have children

playassassins1
12-27-2011, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by Limed_-:
10. Ezio created a giant chain effect is Cappadocia, which cost many lives.

11. They created massive conflict in a.. *cough* Den Defence *cough*

12. They go around the kingdom collecting stupid flags.

13. Instead of jumping straight to the point, Ezio had to complete a large amount of side missions before focusing on his task.

14. Assassin recruits run into walls..

Reaction on #10: Ezio is one Assassin and this thread is about ASSASSINS, So maybe Altair or Aquilis would have done it different.


Reaction on #12: Its just to make the game more fun after completing it.

Reaction on #13 Yet again, thats only Ezio

Reaction on #14 Thats just Ubisofts fault....

GLHS
12-27-2011, 11:21 AM
It cracks me up that Ezio is the only person in the whole world that can swim lol.

29. Nobody but archers go on rooftops, yet people are supposed to see the wanted signs up there.

30. Speaking of that, if your notoriety is high enough to have posters everywhere, shouldn't people be alerting guards of your presence? Yet you can still hide in a group of them like everything's totally fine. "Oh don't worry about that poster with my face on it over there. It's not important or anything."

ProdiGurl
12-27-2011, 11:56 AM
30. Speaking of that, if your notoriety is high enough to have posters everywhere, shouldn't people be alerting guards of your presence? Yet you can still hide in a group of them like everything's totally fine. "Oh don't worry about that poster with my face on it over there. It's not important or anything."

Well here's where the Templar's are ... Stupider -
If they catch you tearing down your own Poster, they just shove you around a little bit & tack it back up so people will know to turn you in to them.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

SolidSage
12-27-2011, 12:00 PM
#31. They let their boss cut their fingers off.

#32. They constantly have to repurchase their armor and weapons because they KEEP losing all the awesome stuff they JUST purchased in the last game.

#33. They forget to kill targets they've spent the entire campaign pursuing for specifically that reason....and their son.

#34. They get their hands on futuristic high leverage technology and then CRASH it.

#35. They get their hands on futuristic high leverage technology, (tank), use it to destroy all the competition and then give it up.

#36. They let people capture them and plug them into computers.

#37. They get their berzerker, "I can kill everybody" on ONLY AFTER their family has been murdered.

#38. Then they let that dude they didn't kill's son murder more of their family, before they get all crazy and kill an entire army.

#39. They sleep in while there's AN ARMY at their gate.

#40. They take their wife to meet their enemy and expect everything to be copacetic.

#41. They let their enemies babysit their kids.

#42. They're all big headed about giving a bum some money. No discrete "here you go poor chap/lady" but instead "sure, but pick it up off the ground you deadbeat!"

#43. The one's in my game had this thing about killing bums, ******s and heralds.

Assassin_M
12-27-2011, 12:01 PM
Errr, I dont like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

LordWolv
12-27-2011, 12:03 PM
Originally posted by Assassin_M:
Errr, I dont like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif
Errr, I like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

ProdiGurl
12-27-2011, 12:08 PM
Originally posted by Assassin_M:
Errr, I dont like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

Ya it's an iffy kinda thing that could go both ways lol I felt the same when I read some of it at first, but then I don't demand absolute Realism in AC.
If things got sarcastic & complainy, then I'd have an issue.

SolidSage
12-27-2011, 12:08 PM
Er, don't take it too seriously.

I love the Matrix too but honestly, what idiot achieves uber gung-fu pimpdom and then falls for the "YOU'RE SPECIAL! YOU'RE THE ONE! can you go die for us so we can keep orgying it up in these caves yo?"

Rakudaton
12-27-2011, 01:02 PM
Originally posted by Isaac500:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Assassin_M:
Errr, I dont like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif
Errr, I like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Seconded! I like this thread. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/partyhat.gif

Nah, it's only a bit of fun. I was just struck by how in ACII they went to get a flying machine, when they could have just got a ladder... and that made me think of a whole lot of other things. Don't take it too seriously.


okay so, let me get this straight. ezio is getting on in his age, and you think he should've taken Altairs apple?

In an altair memory, altair says something along the lines of: I should have stopped and just carried on with my life. ive wasted it.

and ezio, in my eyes took this to heart and said; ive seen enough for 1 life.

now, by your thing of saying that the assassins are idiots because Ezio has seen enough and did his part means that you are just someone who doesnt understand what he meant by it. if youve watched embers, you will understand.

Ironically, you're the one who doesn't understand. I understand perfectly well, thank you very much.

I wasn't suggesting Ezio take the apple and go wage war and kill a few thousand more Templars -- I mean, fair play to the man, he's done enough. BUT what is idiotic is just leaving the apple there, for two reasons:

1. The Templars may well come to Masyaf at some point anyway, hoping Ezio has left something behind by accident or something. In which case, they would find the apple http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif That's not a risk to be taken lightly.
2. Ezio could just take the apple with him when he returns to Italy, and put it in the hands of, say, Machiavelli. Or even leave it in Constantinople with the assassins there. It wouldn't be any trouble, and it would be EXTREMELY helpful to the assassins' cause.

Does he do this? No. Therefore, he did something slightly idiotic.

GunnarGunderson
12-27-2011, 01:09 PM
44. They introduce themselves to random citizens using their real names (I guess they're not too worried about people going after their families)

45: They'd much rather level an entire fleet of boats, destroy tons of lively hoods, and surely kill a few civilians in the resulting chaos instead of just going to a different city and sailing from there

TheStar1
12-27-2011, 01:53 PM
Ironically, you're the one who doesn't understand. I understand perfectly well, thank you very much.

I wasn't suggesting Ezio take the apple and go wage war and kill a few thousand more Templars -- I mean, fair play to the man, he's done enough. BUT what is idiotic is just leaving the apple there, for two reasons:

1. The Templars may well come to Masyaf at some point anyway, hoping Ezio has left something behind by accident or something. In which case, they would find the apple That's not a risk to be taken lightly.
2. Ezio could just take the apple with him when he returns to Italy, and put it in the hands of, say, Machiavelli. Or even leave it in Constantinople with the assassins there. It wouldn't be any trouble, and it would be EXTREMELY helpful to the assassins' cause.

Does he do this? No. Therefore, he did something slightly idiotic.
Ironically, you're the one who doesn't understand. I understand perfectly well, thank you very much.I wasn't suggesting Ezio take the apple and go wage war and kill a few thousand more Templars -- I mean, fair play to the man, he's done enough. BUT what is idiotic is just leaving the apple there, for two reasons:1. The Templars may well come to Masyaf at some point anyway, hoping Ezio has left something behind by accident or something. In which case, they would find the apple That's not a risk to be taken lightly.2. Ezio could just take the apple with him when he returns to Italy, and put it in the hands of, say, Machiavelli. Or even leave it in Constantinople with the assassins there. It wouldn't be any trouble, and it would be EXTREMELY helpful to the assassins' cause.Does he do this? No. Therefore, he did something slightly idiotic

ah ok then yeah its slightly idiotic, but the thing is that he left it in the library. so if he closed the library door and took the keys with him, no one can enter. problem solved?

but yeah some points here are valid but remember its only a game. until we find proof that the order still exists and recruits me, then i will just easily post a reply counter
acting all of the points i dont see fit lol.



OMG this editor fr the forum sucks :P cant wait to go to vB lol

De Filosoof
12-27-2011, 01:55 PM
46: Have all the answers in front of you *cough* subject 16 *cough* but instead of him asking about all the stuff that's going on keep chillin' on the ground.

but hey...it's just a game http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

very nice game though lol.

pacmanate
12-27-2011, 02:49 PM
Some people need to lighten up and join in on the fun or get off this thread

DavisP92
12-27-2011, 03:24 PM
47. The assassins aren't even loyal to each other

JumpInTheFire13
12-27-2011, 03:27 PM
48. They hire prostitutes, only to waste them on stupid guards instead of doing *cough cough* stuff.

49. They go through the trouble of using a painfully slow gondola to rescue a woman, have their home destroyed because they were too busy doing *cough cough* stuff with her, go through even more trouble to rescue her from the biggest and most confusing building ever, only to find out that it was just for "political reasons."

50. Make a big fuss about getting a ticket to travel on a boat to Venice, but the fast travel where ever they like without a problem.

ProdiGurl
12-27-2011, 03:28 PM
It has the potential turn into a bash thread tho instead of "fun" - hopefully it won't turn into that.

DavisP92
12-27-2011, 03:38 PM
LOL at 48.

51. The past assassins always seem to win the fights in the but in 2012 they are on the brink of getting destroyed

JumpInTheFire13
12-27-2011, 03:44 PM
Originally posted by ProdiGurl:
It has the potential turn into a bash thread tho instead of "fun" - hopefully it won't turn into that.

The funny thing is that you always seem to be bashing other people Prodigurl. Not directly, but you're always raining down your positivity campaign on everybody. Nobody really cares...

freddie_1897
12-27-2011, 04:15 PM
52. After the den defence mission yusuf says. "but we lost a few friends along the way" and ezio replies with "so much death for so little gain" and he looks genuinely sad. But this is coming from a man who kills hundreds of people in Cappadocia to help him escape, he starts a riot to get into an area that he could climb into and he murders guards who are just doing their job for fun.

What a hypocrite.Also, his eyes are creepy

masterfenix2009
12-27-2011, 05:31 PM
53: The Assassins clearly can't swim. Yet, in Rome the recruit finish there initiation into the order by diving into water.

E-Zekiel
12-27-2011, 06:02 PM
They can do some stupid stuff, but some of these reasons you guys are coming up with are really stupid and really have not been thought through.

GunnarGunderson
12-27-2011, 06:47 PM
54: they hide an apple behind a false wall and the button that opens it is right next to it and not hidden at all

snazzyjabber123
12-27-2011, 06:51 PM
While trying to stop the Templars, instead of placing multiple bombs around the building, they go in, guns blazing.

snazzyjabber123
12-27-2011, 06:53 PM
55. They killed many ottoman guards while they remained neutral to them besides in restricted areas, and rooftops.

D.I.D.
12-27-2011, 06:56 PM
56

http://seidensj.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/kungfu.jpg

"I know what we must do"/"I know kung fu"

GLHS
12-27-2011, 07:37 PM
Originally posted by ProdiGurl:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">30. Speaking of that, if your notoriety is high enough to have posters everywhere, shouldn't people be alerting guards of your presence? Yet you can still hide in a group of them like everything's totally fine. "Oh don't worry about that poster with my face on it over there. It's not important or anything."

Well here's where the Templar's are ... Stupider -
If they catch you tearing down your own Poster, they just shove you around a little bit & tack it back up so people will know to turn you in to them.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lol that reminds me of another one.

57. They do just shove you round, which is another stupid thing. When your notoriety is zero/low, they just shove you around if you do somethin they don't like, even though they're supposed to watch for Assassin's. But if your notoriety is full and you do somethin stupid, "There he is! Get him! He's an Assassin!"

Btw, I really hope this thread doesn't go sour either. Some people can't take a joke, and while normally I wouldn't like to pick things apart, but this is entertaining.

Sarari
12-27-2011, 07:56 PM
Though I love assassin's creed, I still think all of these things are true. I'm just happy somebody here had the guts to post them up http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

naran6142
12-27-2011, 10:53 PM
Originally posted by assassino151:
53: The Assassins clearly can't swim. Yet, in Rome the recruit finish there initiation into the order by diving into water.

lol

i always wondered why they didn't jump into a haystack

LordWolv
12-27-2011, 11:31 PM
Listen guys, this thread is just for fun where we can point out all the obviously stupid ideas they have. Nobody is taking this seriously, all for a laugh, and even if some are actually really good points nobody's going to go on a nerd rage unless LightRey shows up. So, there.

Assassin_M
12-28-2011, 12:04 AM
Im sorry, I did not intend to disrupt your game, I just think that this Thread has a LOT of Potential of turning into a mess that`s all..
I could be wrong however, and there might just be hope in the human race and this thread will go pretty peacefully..

jmk1999
12-28-2011, 12:11 AM
<span class="ev_code_RED">i'll be watching this thread. please don't turn it into more than it really is. lighten up and get a sense of humor... or leave the thread alone. simple as that. if i see people taking the thread seriously, THEY will receive a warning... not the ones that wish to joke. on the other hand, just make sure to keep the jokes clean. this is an all-ages forum.</span>

GLHS
12-28-2011, 12:20 AM
Originally posted by Assassin_M:
Im sorry, I did not intend to disrupt your game, I just think that this Thread has a LOT of Potential of turning into a mess that`s all..
I could be wrong however, and there might just be hope in the human race and this thread will go pretty peacefully..

No, I feel you're totally right. People will take things like this seriously, and these kinds of threads always go south. There is a lot of potential for that, but hopefully everybody can just joke and have a good time.

trik419
12-28-2011, 01:39 AM
58. An asian chick assassin is worried her guild is falling apart... so she travels from China to ITALY! if it wasnt gone, it is now... thanks for leaving your recruits to fend for themselves

59. and then spends 2 days Italy and heads back home for another year long trip since shes now got it all figured out...

60. You have technology that helped Altair make guns, Ezio shouldda made a nuke, or a rocket launcher or anything but instead he made Leonardo make him a parachute

61. You have the apple for a while in rome, and you head to constantinople and you're dumbfounded by the hookblade?? You had an apple that made two guards blast each others face off...

IeatTemplars
12-28-2011, 02:21 AM
okay everyone, we all realise that assassins creed isnt the most realistic of all games! for gods sake, [spoiler] Ezio falls of a 200ft drop in masyaf at the begining of the game game walks away like it was nothing! that isnt the point of assassins creed and we all know it, so dont complain. they are in my opinion some of the most creative, educational (laugh if you will) and fun games I have ever played. speech over, have fun! please visit my hints & tricks thread!
Originally posted by ProdiGurl:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Assassin_M:
Errr, I dont like this thread http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

Ya it's an iffy kinda thing that could go both ways lol I felt the same when I read some of it at first, but then I don't demand absolute Realism in AC.
If things got sarcastic & complainy, then I'd have an issue. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

ProdiGurl
12-28-2011, 02:39 AM
Originally posted by JumpInTheFire13:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ProdiGurl:
It has the potential turn into a bash thread tho instead of "fun" - hopefully it won't turn into that.

The funny thing is that you always seem to be bashing other people Prodigurl. Not directly, but you're always raining down your positivity campaign on everybody. Nobody really cares... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Um where have I been bashing anyone? I actually added one to this list on Pg. 1 & thought this was funny.
It's this post that does the personal bashing.
I didn't realize it was such a horrible thing to try to be 'positive' on an AC fan forum.

Anyways...

Inorganic9_2
12-28-2011, 03:14 AM
62. as a fresh recruit, you bring nothing but your hidden blade and a small crossbow to a close-quarter sword fight.

InfectedNation
12-28-2011, 03:17 AM
Originally posted by Rakudaton:

1. The Templars may well come to Masyaf at some point anyway, hoping Ezio has left something behind by accident or something. In which case, they would find the apple http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif That's not a risk to be taken lightly.
2. Ezio could just take the apple with him when he returns to Italy, and put it in the hands of, say, Machiavelli. Or even leave it in Constantinople with the assassins there. It wouldn't be any trouble, and it would be EXTREMELY helpful to the assassins' cause.

Does he do this? No. Therefore, he did something slightly idiotic.

Actually Ezio re-seals the library and gives the keys to the Constantinople Assassins to guard. (Source: Revelations Novel)
But in the end the templars do get hold of it until it's destroyed in the Denver Incident.

EzioAssassin51
12-28-2011, 06:40 AM
Originally posted by Rakudaton:
3. "The hookblade has two parts, you see... the hook, and the blade." Need I say more?

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">As someone else has said in a speculation thread, something does work to make the hook blade actually a blade, but it's just the lack of animation in the game, but I dunno, i just don't think this is a dumb thing </span>

4. They wore hoods in cities where literally NOBODY wore hoods, and highly obvious outfits.

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Constantinople was alright since it was a cultural/religious thing to cover your heads for certain people</span>


9. They had free access to one of the most famous genii of all time, Leonardo Da Vinci, for decades... and yet the Templars were the ones who got him to build them war machines.

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Ezio himself said, and I agree, that he didn't want to keep/even make war machines due to the risk it could have on people and the risk of it falling into the wrong hands, which is also why he destroyed them. besides, using a tank for daily missions goes against the Creed http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif</span>




Originally posted by BradKinn:
44. They introduce themselves to random citizens using their real names (I guess they're not too worried about people going after their families)


Would you care if most of your family was already dead and the rest was well protected/could fend for themselves?



Originally posted by trik419:
58. An asian chick assassin is worried her guild is falling apart... so she travels from China to ITALY! if it wasnt gone, it is now... thanks for leaving your recruits to fend for themselves

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Her Options:
Stay and wait to be killed/wait for the rest of the order to fall

or

Find someone who can help her (Ezio) and hope her fellow assassins will be able to stay hidden/safe by themselves

Hmm... which would you do? Her order was close to falling apart, not like 1 day away from it. I'm sure she managed to save it</span>

59. and then spends 2 days Italy and heads back home for another year long trip since shes now got it all figured out...

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Her Options:
Well at least she'd be able to save her order. besides, it's not her fault Ezio lived in Italy. It's not like he knew she was coming...</span>

60. You have technology that helped Altair make guns, Ezio shouldda made a nuke, or a rocket launcher or anything but instead he made Leonardo make him a parachute


<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Her Options:
He didn't ask Leo to make it, Leo just made it and I don't think he would have been able to find the supplies for that stuff and even if he did, you really think he would/it'd be good for him to do that? people complain about this series having a lack of stealth as it is, imagine him having a nuke?</span>


Some people also are pointing out flaws in the series, which this thread isn't about, obviously, it's about the flaws for the assassins themselves, so do it right!!!!

Well i've done what defending i can be bothered doing, and I can't think of anything dumb, though i agree with some of the more rational ones.

Inorganic9_2
12-28-2011, 07:07 AM
Is this thread not supposed to be satirical? To be entertaining and funny? -____-

Rakudaton
12-28-2011, 07:47 AM
Originally posted by dom1999:
<span class="ev_code_RED">i'll be watching this thread. please don't turn it into more than it really is. lighten up and get a sense of humor... or leave the thread alone. simple as that. if i see people taking the thread seriously, THEY will receive a warning... not the ones that wish to joke. on the other hand, just make sure to keep the jokes clean. this is an all-ages forum.</span>

How dare you suggest that people should not take my thread seriously! Templar!

(On a serious note, thanks for stepping in. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif )

Wow, thanks everyone for all the suggestions! I wasn't expecting to get this far... let's see if we can actually get to 101...

63. The assassins had no sort of coordination or communication between different countries -- Ezio, supposedly head of the entire order, has never seen a hookblade or bombs before.

64. After being informed that "this has 50 times the kick of our usual bombs" -- usual bombs having an explosive radius of a couple of metres -- Ezio goes and stands 10 metres away from the tower when he shoots the bomb. Uhh, that would be right for something with 5 times the kick, Ezio... you're out by a factor of ten.

65. Monteriggioni is described as one of the modern day assassins' "last safe houses in Italy". And yet they can't even get inside. Brilliant safe house there.

66. Despite being capable of carrying 12 bombs, 25 bolts, 25 knives, 15 phials of medicine and 15 of poison... Ezio is incapable of carrying more than 10 bullets, despite them being MUCH smaller and lighter than any of the other items.

67. The assassins consider the Byzantines to be "good tenants" with captured dens... despite the fact that when they capture on they try and burn it down with a massive fiery siege engine.

freddie_1897
12-28-2011, 09:24 AM
SPOILERS:

68. when he sees ahmet on the boat in cappadocia he could have
<UL TYPE=SQUARE>thrown a bomb
shot him. [/list]
but no, just shout at him and wait until he's back behind his giant walls which are guarded by janisaries.

naran6142
12-28-2011, 11:47 PM
69. Remember in AC2 when Ezio tails all the templar conspirators in venice. Ezio could have just kill all of them right there, instead of dragging his revenge on for 15 more years

JumpInTheFire13
12-29-2011, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by naran6142:
69. Remember in AC2 when Ezio tails all the templar conspirators in venice. Ezio could have just kill all of them right there, instead of dragging his revenge on for 15 more years

I just played through that part a couple of days ago and was thinking the exact same thing. They're all old/fat/both so its not like they could run when they're out in the open like that.

Assassin_M
12-29-2011, 12:23 AM
Originally posted by JumpInTheFire13:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by naran6142:
69. Remember in AC2 when Ezio tails all the templar conspirators in venice. Ezio could have just kill all of them right there, instead of dragging his revenge on for 15 more years

I just played through that part a couple of days ago and was thinking the exact same thing. They're all old/fat/both so its not like they could run when they're out in the open like that. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ezio himself thought that what he did was dumb "Merda !, I should go see Antonio if I am to have any hope of salvaging this mess i made"

LightRey
12-29-2011, 03:32 AM
Originally posted by Assassin_M:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by JumpInTheFire13:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by naran6142:
69. Remember in AC2 when Ezio tails all the templar conspirators in venice. Ezio could have just kill all of them right there, instead of dragging his revenge on for 15 more years

I just played through that part a couple of days ago and was thinking the exact same thing. They're all old/fat/both so its not like they could run when they're out in the open like that. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ezio himself thought that what he did was dumb "Merda !, I should go see Antonio if I am to have any hope of salvaging this mess i made" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Indeed.

GLHS
12-29-2011, 03:55 AM
Originally posted by Rakudaton:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by dom1999:
<span class="ev_code_RED">i'll be watching this thread. please don't turn it into more than it really is. lighten up and get a sense of humor... or leave the thread alone. simple as that. if i see people taking the thread seriously, THEY will receive a warning... not the ones that wish to joke. on the other hand, just make sure to keep the jokes clean. this is an all-ages forum.</span>

How dare you suggest that people should not take my thread seriously! Templar!

(On a serious note, thanks for stepping in. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif )

Wow, thanks everyone for all the suggestions! I wasn't expecting to get this far... let's see if we can actually get to 101...
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm glad you started it honestly, cuz I'm sure a lot of us have been thinking these things for a while now. And I'm sure we're gonna get to 101 pretty quick here, since we were more than halfway after like 2 days. We might have to raise the number..........

OnizukaSensei
12-29-2011, 08:20 AM
70. When Assassins in the Middle Ages drown in the water and float to the top, yet their counterparts in the Renaissance sink like rocks.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

LightRey
12-29-2011, 09:26 AM
Originally posted by Frozenphoenix02:
70. When Assassins in the Middle Ages drown in the water and float to the top, yet their counterparts in the Renaissance sink like rocks.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif
They simply disappear, they don't sink.

Inorganic9_2
12-29-2011, 09:41 AM
Does anyone actually know why Ezio even says that? I have a few suspicions, but they're all a but rubbish anyway:

-His killing of Emilio caused Rodrigo to move the date of Mocenigo's death forward
-he had them all together and didn't kill them
-he somehow managed to expose himself (lol. Rodrigo looks up and sees something moving before he declares he's leaving for Rome)


anyway...

71. Ezio decides not to air assassinate (which he has done hundreds of times before) some of the den leaders in Constantinople and would rather chase them down in the street or throw a bomb at them and hope it works

</recurring rant about Templar dens :P>

GLHS
12-29-2011, 09:59 AM
72. While meeting Rosa for the first time in AC2, you're running away from the guards and she's limping cuz she has the arrow in her leg. After you start running, a little ways down, you run right past a friggin doctor! Then, when she's too weak to stand you have to carry her, guess where you put her down at? Yep, RIGHT next to one! Yet for some stupid reason, you have to risk her bleeding out to and go through the whole boat ride to get to Antonio's place so he can do the same damn thing a doctor would.

I just played through this part earlier and it cracked me up and reminded me to put it on here.

LightRey
12-29-2011, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by GLHS:
72. While meeting Rosa for the first time in AC2, you're running away from the guards and she's limping cuz she has the arrow in her leg. After you start running, a little ways down, you run right past a friggin doctor! Then, when she's too weak to stand you have to carry her, guess where you put her down at? Yep, RIGHT next to one! Yet for some stupid reason, you have to risk her bleeding out to and go through the whole boat ride to get to Antonio's place so he can do the same damn thing a doctor would.

I just played through this part earlier and it cracked me up and reminded me to put it on here.
I'm pretty sure there were guards after them. Even if they had stopped the guards would've caught up and started attacking them.

GLHS
12-29-2011, 10:08 AM
Ezio could've protected them. That is kinda his job.

LightRey
12-29-2011, 10:16 AM
Originally posted by GLHS:
Ezio could've protected them. That is kinda his job.
Not really. He didn't even know who Rosa was.

SleezeRocker
12-29-2011, 11:25 AM
I don't know if this was mentioned but im sure one way Assassin's gained notoriety was because of:

http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/1650/37376618.jpg

naran6142
12-29-2011, 11:45 AM
73. instead of launching the glider from a tower closer to the palace, they pick the tower that is as far as possible from where they need to go

ProdiGurl
12-29-2011, 11:52 AM
Originally posted by GLHS:
72. While meeting Rosa for the first time in AC2, you're running away from the guards and she's limping cuz she has the arrow in her leg. After you start running, a little ways down, you run right past a friggin doctor! Then, when she's too weak to stand you have to carry her, guess where you put her down at? Yep, RIGHT next to one! Yet for some stupid reason, you have to risk her bleeding out to and go through the whole boat ride to get to Antonio's place so he can do the same damn thing a doctor would.

I just played through this part earlier and it cracked me up and reminded me to put it on here.

links to
#74 Why doesn't Ezio just give Rosa his Instant Miracle Meds to heal her instantly?

OnizukaSensei
12-29-2011, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by LightRey:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Frozenphoenix02:
70. When Assassins in the Middle Ages drown in the water and float to the top, yet their counterparts in the Renaissance sink like rocks.
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif
They simply disappear, they don't sink. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Try drowning soldiers in the Kingdom, they begin to drown and then bubble to the top.

Kit572
12-29-2011, 04:21 PM
Just replying to the first post's reasons...

1. But flying machines are so fun!

2. Thats because they aren't PROGRAMED to run away -.-

3. ...What?

4. How would you like to play as a man wearing peasent rags or any other dull normal clothing?

5. But then what other things could the player unlock?

6. Ezio's story HAD to end somehow.

7. I agree.

8. Because the game developers never came up with the idea to put rocks in haysacks.

9. I agree.


So in other words, all i'm trying to tell you is...

breedlove94
12-29-2011, 10:15 PM
#75 The Assassins jump dangerously from tall buildings into haystacks,ignoring the Mythbusters episode of jumping into dumpsters.
#76 Brutus had a really bad taste in the fashion
#77 Ezio freely writes letters using his real name to his sister Claudia, putting he and his family at risk if a Templar intercepted his message

GLHS
12-29-2011, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by ProdiGurl:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by GLHS:
72. While meeting Rosa for the first time in AC2, you're running away from the guards and she's limping cuz she has the arrow in her leg. After you start running, a little ways down, you run right past a friggin doctor! Then, when she's too weak to stand you have to carry her, guess where you put her down at? Yep, RIGHT next to one! Yet for some stupid reason, you have to risk her bleeding out to and go through the whole boat ride to get to Antonio's place so he can do the same damn thing a doctor would.

I just played through this part earlier and it cracked me up and reminded me to put it on here.

links to
#74 Why doesn't Ezio just give Rosa his Instant Miracle Meds to heal her instantly? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lol that too. Totally didn't think about that. Possibly cuz it fit with the action of the story better not to. Wouldn't be much of a mission there if he just said "oh, you're hurt. Here, take some medicine."

@ #75: they didn't have tv and mythbusters to ignore back then....doesn't make much sense.

LordWolv
12-29-2011, 11:59 PM
78. They sleep with each other then afterwards agree it was 'strictly business'.

breedlove94
12-30-2011, 12:40 AM
#79 Ezio swims around in rivers, soaking his gunpowder, possibly rendering his hidden gun useless

SolidSage
12-30-2011, 01:10 AM
#80. They employ ******s to service OTHER people!?

#81. They can run, swim, fly, drive...but they can't crouch walk.

deadly_thought
12-30-2011, 01:16 AM
#80 female assassins are ugly and unbreedable

#81 altair admits that if he asked the apple he couldve found a way to live forever (immortal assassins) and didnt do it (WTF!)

#82 they may well have taken an arrow to the knee

Limed_-
12-30-2011, 03:17 AM
#82 they may well have taken an arrow to the knee

True man.. true.

83- Ezio took an arrow to the shoulder, yet he still went on a murderous rampage and nearly got himself hanged.

pacmanate
12-30-2011, 03:49 AM
#84 Ezio risks his life to collect feathers because his mother is giving him the silent treatment

breedlove94
12-30-2011, 09:03 AM
#85 When Ezio fires his hidden gun, he alerts every single dog (rabid or otherwise) in the city to his presence

xCr0wnedNorris
12-30-2011, 08:03 PM
#86 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJAxGDEzcHA)

deadly_thought
12-30-2011, 08:44 PM
Originally posted by pacmanate:
#84 Ezio risks his life to collect feathers because his mother is giving him the silent treatment

who wants to clue him in i feel like LULZ so ill let someone else do it

GLHS
01-14-2012, 02:06 PM
#87

I've just always found it funny that in AC:B after Ezio gets the Apple back towards the end and you do all those missions with it before going to fight Cesere....yeah he just runs around with the Apple out in the open. I know he could just kill anybody who got in his way with it, but still. It's one of the most powerful objects ever made and he's just whipping it around everywhere, climbing on buildings and stuff with it, with no worries.

LordWolv
01-14-2012, 02:16 PM
Loving this thread. xD

naran6142
01-14-2012, 09:46 PM
# 88.

During the villa siege, Mario says that he is keeping the apple safe. Then he goes and leaves the villa to attack the enemies that are trying to steal it, and loses it.

Like... why?

LordWolv
01-15-2012, 08:47 AM
#89 Quite spectacularly, they never seem to eat or drink.