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TomDoniphon
04-07-2005, 04:59 PM
Oleg's Cafe

Once upon a time a group of friends stumbled upon a quaint little restaurant called Oleg's Cafe. The smell from inside was pleasing and powerful, and being hungry they all decided to go in.

Once inside they were promptly greeted by a tall slender man with a warm smile welcoming them to his cafe. "I am Oleg, please come with me" The man lead them to a large table and pulled out their chairs one by one.

Napkins were placed in their laps, water was poured, and menus were delivered one by one. The restaurant was full of people laughing and enjoying themselves. A small quartet was roaming freely about singing songs and playing instruments all for the pleasure of their patrons.

The menu was varied, but had more Russian entrees and very little of the western fare they were used to. Still, it all sounded so good, and the prices were modest.

The group ordered and when the food arrived they were stunned at how delicious it was. In addition, the meals arrived with far more than what the menu showed! Hot rolls, and bread sticks were carried out to all patrons. Deserts were offered as part of the meal, even though they were not even shown on the menu. Besides the quartet of musicians, a floor show of dancers and magicians entertained for several hours.

When the group of friends finally left for the evening, they thanked their host, and talked endlessly of the time they had had. The next day, and days afterwards, each of the friends told everyone they knew of Oleg's Cafe, They recounted in detail the food, service, and entertainment they received. Emails went out to anyone they knew that might be able to visit this great place. Critics wrote glowing pieces of the wonderful experience to be had at Oleg's Cafe.

Many more people were soon going to Oleg's. Most had similar experiences to the early visitors, and as them would call and write friends recounting how wonderful it all was. In the mean time, Oleg continued to add new dishes to the menu, in addition to adding several floor shows for the busier nights.

As time passed, and Oleg's Cafe became more and more popular. Soon News that whole selection would be added to Oleg's. This section would offer primarily western and Pacific style foods. For some of the regulars this wasn't even necessary, but Oleg and the owners knew it would bring in new patrons that may have previously stayed away because they didn't like Russian food. They planned for a NEW grand opening, and hundreds of people made reservations to attend.

The day of the Grand Opening arrived, and with it many new faces. Everyone had heard the stories, and read the critics articles of how delicious the food was and all the extra attention the staff gave patrons, the roaming quartet, the floor show with the magicians, the free hot rolls and breadsticks, etc. The only thing they didn't know was how good the new western food would be. Soon they would know, soon it would be time to sample what they had read about for so long.

The doors opened....

The Western section was actually divided from the Russian section by a wall. A small opening was placed between them, but a man remained their checking people as they went between the sections. Some were allowed, some turned away. The face that greeted them as they entered the cafe was not Oleg's. They were told Oleg had taken ill from over work. Still, the person who lead them to their table seemed pleasant enough, if maybe a little sleep deprived.
Menu's were distributed and water poured. There seemed to be fewer servers than before, but at the same time, not to the extent of being inadequate. The menu for western food was also separate from the Russian. While the dishes look good, it was clear there was not nearly as many of them as the Russian menu had. After looking over their choices the friends ordered.
Food arrived promptly. After arriving they noticed that one of the dishes ordered was not on the table. When they got the waiters attention, he said he was unable to fit it on the serving tray, but that it would be out later. Being hungry, and not wanting the food to get cold, they all dug in. The food was good, in some cases excellent! Then one of the friends noticed upon looking through the narrow door between the Russian and western section, that he could see the roaming band of musicians singing, and playing. He called over the waiter and asked when they might be entering the western section. The waiter replied that possibly they would make it to his section for in awhile, but no promises were being made. The man asked about the floor show, the same answer came from the waiter. One of the other friends asked about the free hot bread at which the waiter replied..."Where does it say you will get FREE hot bread?" "Well" the man replied "It doesn't, but I've always read about the Free hot bread, roaming quartet and floor shows, so I just expected..." The waiter interrupted and said "You read...close that book and never read again! You get what you paid for...anything else is a gift! Be happy, or be gone! You are not entitled to anything, no matter if we used to do that or not. Times have changed." The waiter then turned and walked off.

The group friends feeling slightly dejected paid the bill, put on their coats and left. On the ride home they lamented about what had been, and wondered out loud, if they would ever have anything like that again. Then they all realised at the same time....that the missing dish they had ordered, that the waiter said wouldn't fit on the tray, had never arrived.

TomDoniphon
04-07-2005, 04:59 PM
Oleg's Cafe

Once upon a time a group of friends stumbled upon a quaint little restaurant called Oleg's Cafe. The smell from inside was pleasing and powerful, and being hungry they all decided to go in.

Once inside they were promptly greeted by a tall slender man with a warm smile welcoming them to his cafe. "I am Oleg, please come with me" The man lead them to a large table and pulled out their chairs one by one.

Napkins were placed in their laps, water was poured, and menus were delivered one by one. The restaurant was full of people laughing and enjoying themselves. A small quartet was roaming freely about singing songs and playing instruments all for the pleasure of their patrons.

The menu was varied, but had more Russian entrees and very little of the western fare they were used to. Still, it all sounded so good, and the prices were modest.

The group ordered and when the food arrived they were stunned at how delicious it was. In addition, the meals arrived with far more than what the menu showed! Hot rolls, and bread sticks were carried out to all patrons. Deserts were offered as part of the meal, even though they were not even shown on the menu. Besides the quartet of musicians, a floor show of dancers and magicians entertained for several hours.

When the group of friends finally left for the evening, they thanked their host, and talked endlessly of the time they had had. The next day, and days afterwards, each of the friends told everyone they knew of Oleg's Cafe, They recounted in detail the food, service, and entertainment they received. Emails went out to anyone they knew that might be able to visit this great place. Critics wrote glowing pieces of the wonderful experience to be had at Oleg's Cafe.

Many more people were soon going to Oleg's. Most had similar experiences to the early visitors, and as them would call and write friends recounting how wonderful it all was. In the mean time, Oleg continued to add new dishes to the menu, in addition to adding several floor shows for the busier nights.

As time passed, and Oleg's Cafe became more and more popular. Soon News that whole selection would be added to Oleg's. This section would offer primarily western and Pacific style foods. For some of the regulars this wasn't even necessary, but Oleg and the owners knew it would bring in new patrons that may have previously stayed away because they didn't like Russian food. They planned for a NEW grand opening, and hundreds of people made reservations to attend.

The day of the Grand Opening arrived, and with it many new faces. Everyone had heard the stories, and read the critics articles of how delicious the food was and all the extra attention the staff gave patrons, the roaming quartet, the floor show with the magicians, the free hot rolls and breadsticks, etc. The only thing they didn't know was how good the new western food would be. Soon they would know, soon it would be time to sample what they had read about for so long.

The doors opened....

The Western section was actually divided from the Russian section by a wall. A small opening was placed between them, but a man remained their checking people as they went between the sections. Some were allowed, some turned away. The face that greeted them as they entered the cafe was not Oleg's. They were told Oleg had taken ill from over work. Still, the person who lead them to their table seemed pleasant enough, if maybe a little sleep deprived.
Menu's were distributed and water poured. There seemed to be fewer servers than before, but at the same time, not to the extent of being inadequate. The menu for western food was also separate from the Russian. While the dishes look good, it was clear there was not nearly as many of them as the Russian menu had. After looking over their choices the friends ordered.
Food arrived promptly. After arriving they noticed that one of the dishes ordered was not on the table. When they got the waiters attention, he said he was unable to fit it on the serving tray, but that it would be out later. Being hungry, and not wanting the food to get cold, they all dug in. The food was good, in some cases excellent! Then one of the friends noticed upon looking through the narrow door between the Russian and western section, that he could see the roaming band of musicians singing, and playing. He called over the waiter and asked when they might be entering the western section. The waiter replied that possibly they would make it to his section for in awhile, but no promises were being made. The man asked about the floor show, the same answer came from the waiter. One of the other friends asked about the free hot bread at which the waiter replied..."Where does it say you will get FREE hot bread?" "Well" the man replied "It doesn't, but I've always read about the Free hot bread, roaming quartet and floor shows, so I just expected..." The waiter interrupted and said "You read...close that book and never read again! You get what you paid for...anything else is a gift! Be happy, or be gone! You are not entitled to anything, no matter if we used to do that or not. Times have changed." The waiter then turned and walked off.

The group friends feeling slightly dejected paid the bill, put on their coats and left. On the ride home they lamented about what had been, and wondered out loud, if they would ever have anything like that again. Then they all realised at the same time....that the missing dish they had ordered, that the waiter said wouldn't fit on the tray, had never arrived.

goshikisen
04-07-2005, 05:58 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TomDoniphon:
Oleg's Cafe
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Interesting analogy... with some truth to it.

arcadeace
04-07-2005, 05:58 PM
I suggest you find the opportunity to get out... and enjoy a 5 star seafood restaurant http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Bobsqueek
04-07-2005, 06:19 PM
I think you should get out more. and get laid.

strewth
04-07-2005, 08:36 PM
The (un)edited version http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TomDoniphon:
Oleg's Cafe

Once upon a time a group of friends stumbled upon a quaint little restaurant called Oleg's Cafe. The smell from inside was pleasing and powerful, and being hungry they all decided to go in.

Once inside they were promptly greeted by a tall slender man with a warm smile welcoming them to his cafe. "I am Oleg, please come with me" The man lead them to a large table and pulled out their chairs one by one.

Napkins were placed in their laps, water was poured, and menus were delivered one by one. The restaurant was full of people laughing and enjoying themselves. A small quartet was roaming freely about singing songs and playing instruments all for the pleasure of their patrons.

The menu was varied, but had more Russian entrees and very little of the western fare they were used to. Still, it all sounded so good, and the prices were modest.

The group ordered and when the food arrived they were stunned at how delicious it was. In addition, the meals arrived with far more than what the menu showed! Hot rolls, and bread sticks were carried out to all patrons. Deserts were offered as part of the meal, even though they were not even shown on the menu. Besides the quartet of musicians, a floor show of dancers and magicians entertained for several hours.

When the group of friends finally left for the evening, they thanked their host, and talked endlessly of the time they had had. The next day, and days afterwards, each of the friends told everyone they knew of Oleg's Cafe, They recounted in detail the food, service, and entertainment they received. Emails went out to anyone they knew that might be able to visit this great place. Critics wrote glowing pieces of the wonderful experience to be had at Oleg's Cafe.

Many more people were soon going to Oleg's. Most had similar experiences to the early visitors, and as them would call and write friends recounting how wonderful it all was. In the mean time, Oleg continued to add new dishes to the menu, in addition to adding several floor shows for the busier nights.

As time passed, and Oleg's Cafe became more and more popular. Soon News that whole selection would be added to Oleg's. This section would offer primarily western and Pacific style foods. For some of the regulars this wasn't even necessary, but Oleg and the owners knew it would bring in new patrons that may have previously stayed away because they didn't like Russian food. They planned for a NEW grand opening, and hundreds of people made reservations to attend.

The day of the Grand Opening arrived, and with it many new faces. Everyone had heard the stories, and read the critics articles of how delicious the food was and all the extra attention the staff gave patrons, the roaming quartet, the floor show with the magicians, the free hot rolls and breadsticks, etc. The only thing they didn't know was how good the new western food would be. Soon they would know, soon it would be time to sample what they had read about for so long.

The doors opened....

The Western section was actually divided from the Russian section by a wall. A small opening was placed between them, but a man remained their checking people as they went between the sections. Some were allowed, some turned away. The face that greeted them as they entered the cafe was not Oleg's. They were told Oleg had taken ill from over work. Still, the person who lead them to their table seemed pleasant enough, if maybe a little sleep deprived.
Menu's were distributed and water poured. There seemed to be fewer servers than before, but at the same time, not to the extent of being inadequate. The menu for western food was also separate from the Russian. While the dishes look good, it was clear there was not nearly as many of them as the Russian menu had. After looking over their choices the friends ordered.
Food arrived promptly. After arriving they noticed that one of the dishes ordered was not on the table. When they got the waiters attention, he said he was unable to fit it on the serving tray, but that it would be out later. Being hungry, and not wanting the food to get cold, they all dug in. The food was good, in some cases excellent! Then one of the friends noticed upon looking through the narrow door between the Russian and western section, that he could see the roaming band of musicians singing, and playing. He called over the waiter and asked when they might be entering the western section. The waiter replied that possibly they would make it to his section for in awhile, but no promises were being made. The man asked about the floor show, the same answer came from the waiter. One of the other friends asked about the free hot bread at which the waiter replied..."Where does it say you will get FREE hot bread?" "Well" the man replied "It doesn't, but I've always read about the Free hot bread, roaming quartet and floor shows, so I just expected..." The waiter interrupted and said "You read...close that book and never read again! You get what you paid for...anything else is a gift! Be happy, or be gone! You are not entitled to anything, no matter if we used to do that or not. Times have changed." The waiter then turned and walked off. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This was due to the fact that they only paid for entry to the western section and not both sections as was the case the people who enjoyed the whole experience. The people who openly cried out at the cafe about the injustice of it all and how they had flown from afar. FORGOT to mention how they paid for economy tickets on the plane and complained when they were not allowed in the first class seats and how when they paid for a cab to transfer them to the opening, the limo waiting for others had refused them passage again with much complaining.

Then there was the problem where the Chefs using recipies for the free western styles of bread and other great western dishes to be served were hit with a legal suit stating that they were not allowed to cook most western foods without massive fees being paid, far out weighing what the budget allowed for.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>The group friends feeling slightly dejected paid the bill, put on their coats and left. On the ride home they lamented about what had been, and wondered out loud, if they would ever have anything like that again. Then they all realised at the same time....that the missing dish they had ordered, that the waiter said wouldn't fit on the tray, had never arrived. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
They also never shut up for long enough to consider that maybe the contents of that dish just were not up to the standards yet for Oleg's cafe and instead of serving a sub standard dish to the patrons, it was decided to try to source the best ingrediants and present a dish of the quality required for the cafe. Mercy be if the dish had come out and been too tastless or even made someone feel off. There would have been hell to pay. Oleg of course offered to bring the missing dish out for the patrons that didn't storm out in a huff demanding a better taxi back to the airport. The funny thing is, after Oleg's staff went to great lengths to prepare the missing dish. Only a couple of people tasted it and then for the most part pushed it aside and of course this dish was accompanied by many free accompanying dishes, but sadly some previously planned western style dishes had to be substituted by tasty Russian ones, once again due to the greedy recipe stealing pigs and their legal crud.

Some patrons stormed out in a huff.Some whined a bit, but stayed around making the most of a pleasant evening amongst good company, even if with a bit of a moan in the interem and some just sat back and took in the whole multicultural experience. Some even paid the small difference to experience the Russian dishes with no regrets. For all those that stayed and experienced the rest of the evening, the experience was very pleasant. Those that stormed off forming their own reviews without staying the whole evening, well, they may never know what they missed. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif

atomicali
04-07-2005, 09:01 PM
Nice addendum strewth. Very amusing and oh how so true.
BTW I take it you are another aussie?
I hope so with that nic, if you are not an aussie then bloody well give it back. :-)

strewth
04-07-2005, 09:12 PM
Yeah! BL00DY OATH I AM, no fair dinkum, just have a captain cook at my details ya mug. Crikey, I'm dryer than a dead dingo's donga. Lucky it's nearly beer o'clock. Gotta hit the frog and toad soon in the ute and see the missus and billy lids, maybe crack a tinny, fire up the barby, throw on a couple of bangers.

Cheers! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

AVG_WarHawk
04-08-2005, 12:22 PM
Oh yes!, I believe the unedited version is the more accurate biography.

But it too left out the part about how Oleg would come out of the kitchen and entertain the patrons with pleasant stories and future plans for his cafe. Until some of the newer patrons began heckling him and putting down his wonderful cafe. How this drove off many of the older patrons and made Oleg dread the idea of leaving the kitchen.

strewth
04-08-2005, 01:17 PM
Hmmmm.

Agreed. Oh how the patrons miss the owner of the little resturant. If only the hecklers could be ignored and the owner find the time to pass through the dining area even just for a quick chat. That would really make for a pleasant evening for all.

Enthor1
04-08-2005, 01:48 PM
I thought Oleg was on vacation in the Alps, when did he open a cafe?

I really need to get back in the loop, no one tells me anything anymore.