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View Full Version : OT: A Bit of Friday Fun - Did I Read That Sign Right?



Realjambo
09-28-2007, 07:01 AM
Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notic e in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD, FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

klcarroll
09-28-2007, 07:22 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif


klcarroll

Messervy
09-28-2007, 09:07 AM
Nice! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Goose_Green
09-28-2007, 09:21 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Very funny RJ http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif Thanks for sharing and brightening up a dull and miserable Friday afternoon http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

GoldenEagle8
09-29-2007, 04:23 PM
LOL, real nice. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Now please, if I may post one:
http://www.funnysigns.net/pictures/74.jpg

WilhelmSchulz.
09-29-2007, 05:35 PM
Hell froze over?! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Hiriyu
09-30-2007, 01:49 AM
**Warning!!!**
**Achtung!!!**

The following link may be offensive to sensitive viewers (contains mild "profanity", if you're an English speaker or particularly uptight in general) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Undisclosed town in Austria (http://wadias.in/site/arzan/blog/welcome-to-****ing-austria/)

Hiriyu
09-30-2007, 01:59 AM
Another funny sign I once spotted, at a really seedy looking auto repair shop:

"Complet Cluch Job $99.95"

JU88
09-30-2007, 05:24 AM
A series of REAL notices spotted around the world and written by... well let's just say "people whose first language is not English".

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ***?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using
a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

Realjambo
09-30-2007, 06:34 AM
They are great JU88! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

I remembered the wording on some thermal paste I bought recently. I've underlined the word that didn't quite make it through translation!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/antsmith/MentalPaste1.jpg

JU88
09-30-2007, 07:02 AM
Heheh, Mental- just like some people who use it.

I hate thermal compound, its like bird poo, back in the day when I did pc repairs and upgrades I often ended up with my finger tips covered in the stuff - as some customers seemed to deem it necisary to totally DROWN their CPUs in the stuff like they are preparing some tuna mayonaise, (when you only need a blob no bigger than a match head to do the job!)

The sad part is, many dont realise that applying too much thermal compound can actually produce a negative effect, by raising your CPU tempertaure instead lowering it. LMAO