PDA

View Full Version : "You dare steal from my shop?" - The AC Funny Quotes Thread



breakdown89
04-17-2009, 08:00 PM
that will cost you YOUR LIFE!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif


***title fixed

breakdown89
04-17-2009, 08:00 PM
that will cost you YOUR LIFE!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif


***title fixed

Tela
04-17-2009, 08:22 PM
And the point of this thread is...? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

revoltingbunny
04-17-2009, 08:33 PM
Making a complete senseless fool of himself.http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

breakdown89
04-17-2009, 08:35 PM
no point, just came cross a merchant saying that today in AC. thought it was funny to post http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

Trauma.au
04-17-2009, 08:52 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

assasinsdeath
04-17-2009, 10:10 PM
lol ok then

zgubilici
04-17-2009, 10:22 PM
I edited the title to make this a "Funny AC Quotes Thread". I believe we had one or two in the past, but they didn't last very long.

Let's give it another try, and maybe now there will be also AC2 quotes added, when the time comes.

One note though: If this transforms into a chat/spam thread, it will be closed.

Have fun http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

spaceopera
04-18-2009, 01:33 AM
"Curse the Christian King and his army of infidels!"

assasinsdeath
04-18-2009, 01:40 AM
blaaaa (one of the special people)

lostassassin123
04-18-2009, 04:01 AM
You see the guy in the cutscene:
Blah blah blah.

You put your blade in the guy's throat:
Guy: Blah blah de blah bloody blah.

You stab him a few more times in the face:
Guy: blah blah Al Mualim is bad.
Altair: Wut?
*guy dies*
*Altair goes to Al Mualim to discuss what just happened*

You can't just shut these bloody mouths up! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

mboltevski
04-18-2009, 05:50 AM
You dare stealin my presents?

METALLICS2005
04-18-2009, 06:09 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mboltevski:
You dare stealin my presents? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

no its "You dare steal in my presence" actually :P

amuppet
04-18-2009, 06:24 AM
gadbye in huc den nuac (Muslim guards speaking to themselves)

Where are you, i know you're here somewhere! (Guard 1 after seeing dead body of guard 2, while Altair is standing right behind Guard 1)

breakdown89
04-18-2009, 09:00 AM
random civilian: "he is going to hurt himself, and when he does, i am not going to help him."

Altair drops down from above and pulls out his sword

Altair: "you were saying?"

assasinsdeath
04-18-2009, 11:46 AM
citizens "stop accting like such a child"

ROBJ808
04-18-2009, 03:03 PM
guard when you walk into him: 'try that again'

(normally when they say that i STAB them)

craxe
04-18-2009, 05:17 PM
When your fighting guards: "Stop Running!!!"

ROBJ808
04-18-2009, 05:18 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by craxe:
When your fighting guards: "Stop Running!!!" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

yes just because you said that im going to stop right here for you..........and kill you

WeirdGirly
04-18-2009, 05:37 PM
I'm sure there is a quote along the lines of "Now woudn't it be funny if he hurt him self."
Mind you, I'm not 100% sure so I could be wrong.

assasinsdeath
04-18-2009, 05:42 PM
lol i was about to say that

WeirdGirly
04-18-2009, 05:59 PM
^^
LOL good to know I'm not the only one that heard that line.

I was worried for a second that I'd look like a complete N00B.

DanielModica
04-19-2009, 04:17 AM
Citizens - What is the man DOING!?
With huge emphasis on the doing part, they just sound so funny.

ROBJ808
04-19-2009, 07:56 AM
my familys sick and dying, could you sare a few coins.

no, you don't understand sir i need the money

Account_Deleted
04-19-2009, 08:06 AM
*gaurds when find a dead boy* God curse the man that done this
( i think? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif)
And
I know yor hear some where


Beggers: Gaurds there's a murdera ( can't spell :P)

Dead-M
04-19-2009, 08:59 AM
I can hear you breathing!!

Xanatos2007
04-19-2009, 09:29 AM
"Well the bible does say God helps those who help themselves."
"Na, it doesn't actually. That's from one of Esops(?) fables."
- Pickpocket Investigation, William of Monteferrat

"I spent too much time in the harbor brothel last night and insulted a Teutonic knight's wife or, so I am told... *scratches head* And now there is a group of them after me."
- Assassination Investigation, Sibrand

"Oh God don't kill me! Oh, it's you Altair."
- Assassination Investigation, William of Monteferrat

"Hey- you look familiar!"
- Guard

"He's going to hurt himself. And when he does I won't help him."
- Civilian

"My sword is much bigger than yours."
- Guard, Acre

"I'll teach you how to pick a fight!" (few punches later) "Enough! Enough! What do you want?"
- Interrogation Investigation

"I thought Templars were old dudes with funny hats who sat around drinking beer and plotting world domination with like... the, Lizard People."
- Desmond Miles

"Most of the stuff they say about the Templars comes from crazy tin-foil hat wearing nutjobs."
- Lucy Stillman

"I don't like where this is going."
"So it's safe to assume that the Animus isn't a part of their public phase."
"What, you havn't seen the commercials?"
"OMG, she has a sense of humour."
- Desmond Miles & Lucy Stillman

"Gotta say, that's a little creepy doc; waking up to you standing over me. Been watching me sleep?"
"We're always watching you, now get up!"
- Desmond Miles & Warren Vidic

"Missed you this morning doc."
"Get in the Animus!"
- Desmond Miles & Warren Vidic

"What's that you got there?"
"Rubbish, the man had no manner of coin to speak of. Alls I found on him was some damn tube with a bit of paper with his nonsense scratchings on it."
"Thems not nonsense, but words 'n' letters."
"Why's a man putting words 'n' letters in a tube? Waste of tube if you ask me."
- Pickpocket Investigation, Garnier de Naplouse

*bumps into civilian* "And I thought I was going blind."
- Civilian

"He's tiring himself, get him!" (even when you're on a horse(?))
- Guard, Saracen

"Now wouldn't it be funny if he hurt himself."
- Guard, Crusader

"You can't keep me here, I'll escape again!"
"No, you won't. Break his legs. Both of them."
- Garnier de Naplouse & Patient

"It's only wine!"
"Your holy book says something on the subject I believe. (quotes long passage that has nothing to do with anything)"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nevermind."
- Eavesdrop Investigation, Abul Nuquod

"Then you should ask the guards to have a look."
"Ahh they're all too busy polishing the backside of their master."
- Eavesdrop Investigation, Tamir

"Rest, prepare, cry in the corner. Do whatever it is you do before a mission, only make sure that you do it quietly."
- Malik, Jerusalem Bureau

"Safety and peace Malik."
"Your presence here deprives me of both."
- Altair & Malik, Jerusalem Bureau

"...And how fares the mission?"
"Talal is dead."
"Oh I know, I know. In fact... the ENTIRE CITY KNOWS!!! Have you forgotten the meaning of subtlety!?"
- Altair & Malik, Jerusalem Bureau

"He exchanges letters with someone inside, the basket weaver carries them for him."
"Then you should ask the basket weaver."
"He's disappeared."
"Heh, probably inside one of his own baskets!"
- Eavesdrop Investigation, Masyaf

(when climbing buildings) "I think I've seen everything now."
- Civilian

"Altair, he's after me! He saw me! He will kill me, and my wife and children! Oh what a mess! Have you come to end my misery? No!? Al Mualim has more compassion than I thought..."
- Assassination Investigation, Garnier de Naplouse

"I suppose I should thank you, though don't think I couldn't have handled them myself." (yeah right!)
- Saved Citizen, Acre

While not a quote as such; whenever you save a citizen and they thank you they stand around going "Oh my, what happened here?"

I'm sure there's more.

Xanatos2007
04-19-2009, 10:11 AM
And yes, I have played it a lot.

DanielModica
04-20-2009, 12:41 AM
lol^ they are really good.
There was one during a pickpocket mission.
"What have you got there?"
"oh just a tube with some scribbles on it from that mad doctor"
"They aren't scribble's, they're words and letters!"
"Well what's he writing words and letter on a tube for? Waste of a tube if you ask me.."

Stupid beggar...

Xanatos2007
04-20-2009, 08:04 AM
Is this thread just for funny quotes or for memorable quotes in general?

RobSp1derp1g
04-22-2009, 08:28 AM
"Everywhere they arrive, they leave only suffereing in their wake. They say it's a crusade, but a crusade for what? Ignorance? Violence? Madness?"

breakdown89
04-22-2009, 09:51 AM
madness??? THIS IS.....SPARTAAA!!!! lol

daydark87
04-25-2009, 05:21 PM
Altair: "I see..." http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

Al Mualim: "NO, you DON'T!" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

RipYourSpineOut
04-29-2009, 05:57 PM
*Me minding my own buisness in Damascus*
*Sees begar*

OH CRA-

"My families sick and dying,can you spare a few coins please?"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!I HAVE NOTHING!"

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

*Either shows sword,stabs with hidden blade,or beats to death with hands*

Anruaee
05-04-2009, 06:13 PM
3 MOST FUNNIEST QUOTES!!!

3rd funnest: Rest, prepare, cry in the corner. Do whatever it is you do before a mission. Only make sure you do it quietly. -Malik
2nd funniest: OI AHH!! OH MY LEG!! OH, OH MY LEG!!!! - random assassin
1st funniest: I thought Templars were old guys in weird looking hats drinking bear plotting world domination with lizard people.... - Desmond

Believe01
05-05-2009, 02:06 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Anruaee:
3 MOST FUNNIEST QUOTES!!!

3rd funnest: Rest, prepare, cry in the corner. Do whatever it is you do before a mission. Only make sure you do it quietly. -Malik
2nd funniest: OI AHH!! OH MY LEG!! OH, OH MY LEG!!!! - random assassin
1st funniest: I thought Templars were old guys in weird looking hats drinking bear plotting world domination with lizard people.... - Desmond </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That was SO ****ING FUNNY!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

UchihaKarasu
05-05-2009, 09:11 PM
Altair: Join the Templars?! To Dress myself in strange garb??!?

i just think it's rather funny that his reaction to this is what he would be wearing. XD
And then he disguises himself as a Templar later who happened to be his size.
Oh, the irony.