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XyZspineZyX
07-03-2003, 06:50 PM
My bf shared this with me..funny

P.S. He is sleeping on the couch tonight /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

These are the rules for guys. Women have rules, and so do guys.

Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just SAY it! 1. We don't remember dates.
Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-03-2003, 06:50 PM
My bf shared this with me..funny

P.S. He is sleeping on the couch tonight /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

These are the rules for guys. Women have rules, and so do guys.

Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just SAY it! 1. We don't remember dates.
Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-03-2003, 06:59 PM
why does God make the good suffer?

<center>http://homepage.mac.com/jubei1/cowbe/spike/guncig3.jpg

______________________________
Spike, the cigarette slayer
Cowboy Bebop

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive"

XyZspineZyX
07-03-2003, 07:16 PM
I've read it before, but I couldn't help reading each one all over again... /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

<font color="white"><table style="filter:glow[color=blue, strength=4)"><font size=1>"People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf"
- George Orwell</table><font color="white">
<font color="red">[/b]</u>[/i]</font size>
<marquee bgcolor="#811000"><font color="red"><font size=4>Now in the news................................Ubisoft loses sales due to poor customer service.....................Ubisoft enemies grow %3 today.....................Development team credentials for game company Ubisoft under investigation.....................New patch available for download for Ubisoft's Raven Shield (patch 1.64b) now available.....................New patch released today for Raven Shield by Ubisoft is causing catastrophic computer failures.....................Monitors and computers worldwide explode in residential and business areas due to game "Raven Shield" malfunction.....................Author Tom Clancy gets arrested today as he enters game company Ubisoft offices, and strikes a developer several times.....................Man wanted for murder takes hostages in Montana home; police say that the demands are that Ubisoft stops screwing customers over. The police abruptly stopped negotiating when they found out his demands, and sent in the SWAT team in fear that the demands were impossible.....................Ex-Police Chief Charles Moose tells reporters of why he didn't write about his lousy experiences with game company Ubisoft. Moose says he will have to write another book just about that</marquee><font color="white">[/b]</u>[/i]</font size>

XyZspineZyX
07-04-2003, 01:45 AM
Here is a little translation table that may help you understand the opposite sex.


WOMEN'S TALK MEANING:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like


MEN'S TALK MEANING:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

XyZspineZyX
07-04-2003, 02:47 AM
Ambassador wrote:
- I've read it before, but I couldn't help reading
- each one all over again...

Yeah me too but its an oldie but goodie. Kimi you have a boyfriend? /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif


People sleep peacefully in their beds at
- night only because rough men stand ready to do
- violence on their behalf"

You know Amb I sleep peacefully because I have a nice comfy bed and a big fluffy pillow. And because Tiddles the cat keeps me company...

http://www.nrm.org/illustration/obrien/tyson.jpg


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>

XyZspineZyX
07-04-2003, 05:37 AM
bf, gf, mistress....got 'em all


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-04-2003, 07:38 AM
kimi_ wrote:
- bf, gf, mistress....got 'em all

nah!... that doesn't fix the big mistake you just made. after months of you keeping almost everyone here drooling and trying to forget rumors of 40 year old perverts and alien life forms holding instead the fantasy of a hot girl who plays videogames and tease in every opportunity she has... now you say you have a bf, next you will tell us how your bf is so cool and how your bf is so... and so...
well... we don't [edit] care! /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

XyZspineZyX
07-04-2003, 10:45 AM
[edit] this! ******** /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-05-2003, 11:16 PM
Two things:

1. Kimi, why does your entire list consist of ones (1)

2. I prefer girls with short hair not long hair. Short being like shoulder length. I agree that really short hair looks bad (lesbian style).

PS: Not that I have anything against *****s.

<hr width="50%" align="left">c.787
Murphy's Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
c.787@charter.net

XyZspineZyX
07-05-2003, 11:19 PM
mmmm dunno. Perhaps they're all numbered #1 because one isn't more important then the other?


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-08-2003, 05:07 PM
/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

<img src=http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/arcanesig.jpg>
SMAK_Arcane

XyZspineZyX
07-08-2003, 06:17 PM
*sigh* you finally show up. Men, always late /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-08-2003, 06:26 PM
what'd i do now? /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

<img src=http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/arcanesig.jpg>
SMAK_Arcane

XyZspineZyX
07-08-2003, 07:22 PM
kimi_ wrote:
- *sigh* you finally show up. Men, always late

Well surely you'd prefer us to come later rather than sooner?

http://www.nrm.org/illustration/obrien/tyson.jpg


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>

XyZspineZyX
07-08-2003, 11:48 PM
On time works for me /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-10-2003, 04:09 PM
Like I always say, late is better then never.


<center>
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-4/146066/HDZUVJETRBTPXHHFKWSU-Roguefear.jpg

If I want your Opinion I'll beat it out of you.

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 02:05 AM
kimi_ wrote:
- bf, gf, mistress....got 'em all

a little opportunistic are we??

<center> Presenting, the S7N brothers
______________________________
http://jimjacobson.com/images/stooges.gif

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 05:19 AM
Men will never understand women. These rules arnt even the beginning. You are weird creatures!

<FONT COLOR="#FF0000">
EasyCo</FONT><FONT SIZE="-2">
TEAM GHOST
AIM: easytxco
http://www.teamghost.com/images/sigs/ezsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 02:01 PM
I like both long hair and short hair on women. As long as they know how to take care of it.

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 02:59 PM
strapping wrote:
- I like both long hair and short hair on women. As
- long as they know how to take care of it.


Short hair looks crap. If she's going to do that she might as well grow a beard and a hairy chest.



<center>
&lt;iframe src="http://costofwar.com/embed.html" width="600" noborder></iframe>
</center>


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 04:11 PM
agreed

I took a picture of my wife's family, and it is pretty sad that in the picture, the only difference between her dad and her mom was that her mom had a dress on. It was a sucky camera anyways... nothing personal against her, but that was what it was... I can only call them as I sees them! /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

<font color="white"><table style="filter:glow[color=blue, strength=4)"><font size=1>"People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf"
- George Orwell</table><font color="white">
<font color="red">[/b]</u>[/i]</font size>
<marquee bgcolor="#811000"><font color="red"><font size=4>Now in the news................................Ubisoft loses sales due to poor customer service.....................Ubisoft enemies grow %3 today.....................Development team credentials for game company Ubisoft under investigation.....................New patch available for download for Ubisoft's Raven Shield (patch 1.64b) now available.....................New patch released today for Raven Shield by Ubisoft is causing catastrophic computer failures.....................Monitors and computers worldwide explode in residential and business areas due to game "Raven Shield" malfunction.....................Author Tom Clancy gets arrested today as he enters game company Ubisoft offices, and strikes a developer several times.....................Man wanted for murder takes hostages in Montana home; police say that the demands are that Ubisoft stops screwing customers over. The police abruptly stopped negotiating when they found out his demands, and sent in the SWAT team in fear that the demands were impossible.....................Ex-Police Chief Charles Moose tells reporters of why he didn't write about his lousy experiences with game company Ubisoft. Moose says he will have to write another book just about that</marquee><font color="white">[/b]</u>[/i]</font size>

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 05:06 PM
strapping wrote:
- I like both long hair and short hair on women. As
- long as they know how to take care of it.

than again, who doesn't like lesbians. /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

<center>http://www.dendy.com.au/japan/cowboybebopLR.jpg
<font color="Dark Green"> ______________________________
Spike, the cigarette slayer
Cowboy Bebop

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive" </font>

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 05:18 PM
Spinnaker wrote:
- strapping wrote:
-- I like both long hair and short hair on women. As
-- long as they know how to take care of it.
-
- than again, who doesn't like lesbians.

My sister is a born-again Christian and she says they're bad people.

They haven't been in the water.

Apparently.


<center>
&lt;iframe src="http://costofwar.com/embed.html" width="600" noborder></iframe>
</center>


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 06:11 PM
I wonder what will happen if your sister ever meets Kimi in real life?

<center>http://www.dendy.com.au/japan/cowboybebopLR.jpg
<font color="Dark Green"> ______________________________
Spike, the cigarette slayer
Cowboy Bebop

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive" </font>

XyZspineZyX
07-11-2003, 09:21 PM
Spinnaker wrote:
- I wonder what will happen if your sister ever meets
- Kimi in real life?

My sister will probably wave the Holy Bible at her and yell something like "The power of God compells you! The Power of God compells you!"

<center>
&lt;iframe src="http://costofwar.com/embed.html" width="600" noborder></iframe>
</center>


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 12:23 AM
Not everyone likes lesbians. Men don't like lesbians because they cannot partake in the fruits of the happiness.

Bi women, on the other hand, are a completely different story. Not only can they watch, they can participate. ggs


http://www.leetweb.com/publicsigs/deathsig.jpg

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 01:16 AM
Is she your sister? /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://www.danacarvey.net/images/churchlady02.jpg


I think this would happend if they meet:

kimi: "1 ONW AT RVZZ, MY SKILLZ R BBEYOnD ANY LAM3 uMNANZ, MUAHAHAHAH!!11!! (*cough*... btw, I'm human too... honestly)"

MNG' sister: "Well... isn't that special!"

kimi: "1 LAASO R0XOPR RVs FOrU/\/\S b/c i'M TEH MoST gROG3OUS AND HOTTEST CHIX0R AROUND TEHRWE!!!!!!111 LOLLOLL!! WTF"

MNG' sister: "hmmm... It could be that or... could it be... SATAN?"

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 01:27 AM
ROFL /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

nice one Guayo

<center>http://www.dendy.com.au/japan/cowboybebopLR.jpg
<font color="Dark Green"> ______________________________
Spike, the cigarette slayer
Cowboy Bebop

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive" </font>

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 01:52 AM
Regarding the rules to women to follow... forguet about it!... what I want it's a Sony Woman<sup>TM</sup> (http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~shane/stasj/div_bilder/Its_a_mans_world.jpg)

ps: with shock absorbing mechanism 'cause sometimes I'm harsh with them. /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 07:05 AM
1: long hair is sexy (except long and poofy with too much hair chemicals)

2: Lez chicks: who cares might as well be guys...why chase something you aint gonna catch.

3: Kimi has a BF /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif I want my roses back

4: Girls who pluck their eyebrows...like all of the hair...and then draw them back on...STOP!! it looks nasty!!

5: rules for women to follow...yah ok you'll have better luck herding cats.





never underestimate the logical power of sarcasm

I am 49 years old and havent lived a day...i am living from now on: Iraqi Citizen after fall of Bagdad

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 02:42 PM
kimi_ wrote:
- Not everyone likes lesbians. Men don't like lesbians
- because they cannot partake in the fruits of the
- happiness.

its one of those, but not touch. moments.



<center>http://www.dendy.com.au/japan/cowboybebopLR.jpg
<font color="Dark Green"> ______________________________
Spike, the cigarette slayer
Cowboy Bebop

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive" </font>

XyZspineZyX
07-12-2003, 04:24 PM
Guayo wrote:
- Regarding the rules to women to follow... forguet
- about it!... what I want it's a <a
- href="http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~shane/stasj/div_bil
- der/Its_a_mans_world.jpg" target="_blank">Sony
- Woman<sup>TM</sup></a>

/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

<center>
&lt;iframe src="http://costofwar.com/embed.html" width="600" noborder></iframe>
</center>


<center><marquee>******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******Where are the weapons of mass destruction?******<center><marquee>