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Sorrosyss
01-08-2016, 08:04 PM
Saw this floating around social media, so I figured we may as well join in. Gamesradar has posted an AC plot generator for fun. Click the button at the link to generate yours;

http://www.gamesradar.com/assassins-creed-plot-generator/

Here's mine:


Assassin's Creed: Hottest Party is about a child with extraordinary combat abilities and a heart of gold in Mesopotamia, and their mission is to jump higher than anyone else ever has. Jump so high they fly, unwaveringly into the Sun - where they discover a secret Templar compound. The games begin anew.

:p

SixKeys
01-08-2016, 08:11 PM
Assassin's Creed: Learning With Murder is about a tiny drug baron in Colossus-era Rhodes, and their mission is to eradicate the zero-grav Templars living at the heart of the Moon.

Seems legit.

cawatrooper9
01-08-2016, 09:08 PM
Assassin's Creed: Wii U is about English revolutionary, Oliver Cromwell in somewhere nice, but in the olden days, and their mission is to find an actually satisfying use for bombs in an Assassin's Creed game.

I'd love to play Assassins Creed: Wii U on my XBone or my PS4.

HDinHB
01-08-2016, 09:23 PM
This one actually makes sense:

Assassin's Creed: Fistcrime is about a cigar-chomping Cajun fire-chief in plague-time Edinburgh, and their mission is to discover a new use for milk.

To be honest, the original mission was "eject cuff daggers into all the children's eye," but I found that distasteful so I hit the button again.

I like this one too:

Assassin's Creed: Danger Brain is about a misunderstood Dutchman in the Mexico-US border region, and their mission is to hide a ****ty old pot in a crypt, then send an anonymous letter to the Templars telling them it can summon angels or something. Watch and laugh.

but I think we already did that mission in Unity.

TO_M
01-08-2016, 09:38 PM
"Assassin's Creed: Cream is about a man who just happened to be wearing a cape that day in Celtic territory during the Roman Invasion, and their mission is to find a sustainable, annualised, AAA sequel model"

This one's pretty funny and accurate imo.

cawatrooper9
01-08-2016, 09:51 PM
I'm addicted. Here's a few more good ones.


Assassin's Creed: Conglomeration is about an Abstergo agent in New York during the Wall Street Crash, and their mission is to prank a hideously ancient John the Baptist.


Assassin's Creed: Jealousy is about a freed slave in Celtic territory during the Roman Invasion, and their mission is to prove that aliens exist, then cull every last one.
Love how the name kinds fits with that one.



Assassin's Creed: Revolución is about a playwright in search of inspiration in Ancient Egypt, and their mission is to steal Jesus' knucklebone.
Ah, could be the real title of Empire!


Assassin's Creed: Bastard War! is about really old Ezio in a Morricone-soundtracked Wild West, and their mission is to punch a thousand horses right in the flanks.
Really old Ezio, if that's the case. I bet you get an achievement for punching that many horses.

Kaschra
01-09-2016, 12:58 AM
I got this thing here

Assassin's Creed: A Machine for Pigs is about a disgraced magician in Saigon, 1962, and their mission is to wait for Hitler to show up, get him blind drunk and shave off his moustache.

Truly amazing :')

m4r-k7
01-09-2016, 01:08 AM
I am an employee from Ubisoft Montreal and I can assure you that there will be a game in 2016. Its called Assassin's Creed: The Scheme of the Malefactor's Goodbye Girlfriend Ultra DX and is about a man who wants to be done with the gangster life, but circumstances continue drawing him back in Celtic territory during the Roman Invasion, and their mission is to ensure a sequel.

HDinHB
01-09-2016, 01:19 AM
Really old Ezio, if that's the case.

My really old Ezio was doing something with Mozart in Vienna (which would be awesome BTW).


I bet you get an achievement for punching that many horses.

What is wrong with you too?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cDfnQD0ws

SpiritOfNevaeh
01-09-2016, 01:23 AM
Assassin's Creed: Big is about a man who just happened to be wearing a cape that day in Celtic territory during the Roman Invasion, and their mission is to destroy a group of Templars who are masquerading as vampires.

I like this one :P

UbiFancy
01-09-2016, 01:41 AM
Assassin's Creed: Awakenings is about Guy Fieri in the Dulce Facility, and their mission is to drink half a bottle of merlot very quickly, then have a little cry.

Sounds a bit too much like my life :P

DisbandedBox359
01-09-2016, 02:19 AM
Just got this one "Assassin's Creed: Learning With Murder is about a playwright in search of inspiration in underground Vancouver, and their mission is to fight the Pope again. Except, this time, there are three Popes - vanilla Pope, reptile Pope and wrestler Pope."

le_tsarina
01-10-2016, 09:59 PM
One:

Assassin's Creed: Coup D'état is about an aggressive circus strongman in Ancient Egypt, and their mission is to clean up the streets, both literally and figuratively.

Two:

Assassin's Creed: Sesquipidalian is about some bloke with a bald head and a bad 'tude in thriving Byzantium, and their mission is to discover a new use for milk.

Three:

Assassin's Creed: Too Much Lava is about esteemed, dead film actor, Vincent Price in the magma forests of neo-Pangaea, and their mission is to invent every household appliance you use now, in hilariously accidental ways.

Four:

Assassin's Creed: Hard Guns is about a cigar-chomping Cajun fire-chief in war-torn Kashmir, and their mission is to help us all forget about Watch_Dogs.

cawatrooper9
01-11-2016, 08:55 PM
Assassin's Creed: Too Much Lava is about esteemed, dead film actor, Vincent Price in the magma forests of neo-Pangaea, and their mission is to invent every household appliance you use now, in hilariously accidental ways.




That's basically the most metal thing possible.

I actually just met Vincent Price's daughter pretty recently. Very cool person.

Black_Widow9
01-11-2016, 09:25 PM
Oh dear....

"Assassin's Creed: Operation Big Twist is about a ***** botanist in New York during the Wall Street Crash, and their mission is to eject cuff daggers into all the children's eyes."

SixKeys
01-12-2016, 12:18 AM
Oh dear....

"Assassin's Creed: Operation Big Twist is about a ***** botanist in New York during the Wall Street Crash, and their mission is to eject cuff daggers into all the children's eyes."

A what kind of botanist now?

HDinHB
01-12-2016, 03:24 AM
A what kind of botanist now?


...a ***** botanist... apparently.


Meanwhile:

Assassin's Creed: Ennui is about Hoobastank Kenway, Connor Kenway's much more chilled-out secret brother, in Kowloon Walled City, and their mission is to find the actual giant eye the one on the dollar bill is based on, and stab it right in the cornea.


Edit:

It took a bunch of clicks, but I finally found out the censored botanist was "aroused, turned on, randy." It's also an adjective used to describe goats, animals with antlers, and some toads.