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The_Pashker-Man
06-19-2015, 05:32 PM
Hi,
Something i wrote.
hope you will like it.

beware of possible spoilers...

happy reading!


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Crawley, 1847
Cormac's house

In a dark room, near a table full of paper work sat a man. He light up the candle one more time after the wind turned it off. Suddenly he hears a knocking on the door, "come in, please" he said and put his pen aside.

Into the room enter panting young man, trying to catch his breath and speak at the same time. "An..An…Anna, she.." he start to talk. The man stood up, "what happened?! Is the baby all right?" he asked.

The young boy grabbed the coat near him, "no Liam, it's not the babies, it's Anna". Liam put the coat on, "so what are we waiting for, let's go!" he said and they left the room. They took the carriage and rode away.

"Come in, Fast!" shouted the woman beyond an iron gate. Liam and the young boy entered the house, Liam running to the upper floor. He slam the door open to see all the people he know around one bed. "Move away" he said.

On the bed a young blonde lady lies, peacefully. "Liam" said an old lady nearby him, two little babies in her arms. "She got out first and he grabs his sister's heel to get out" she said and let Liam hold his son. "For that his name will be, Jacob" he smiled to the boy.

Then Liam move to Anna and grabbed her hand, closing his eyes. He woke up in a white room, Anna lying beside him, alive. Scared look on her face, "don't worry, honey, I am here". He said. "Liam…you swore to not using the gift" Anna said. "I always asked myself, why a young and beautiful woman will be with me" he said.

Anna smiled, "you are the kindest and smartest man I know, and I love you". Liam looked at the ground, "we have twins, I named the boy Jacob, and how should we call the girl?" he asked.

"Evie, Jacob and Evie Cormac" she said and started to get dizzy. "Please don’t go" Liam cried. "I can hold the white room". Anna caressed his face, "they need you, if you will continue, you will be dead" she said.

Liam kissed her, "I love you, Anna" and she fade away. Liam took his daughter "Evie" he said.




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Crawley, 1851
Cormac's house

"Liam…Liam! I think I saw someone moving near the window" Liam opens his eyes, lying on the bed with his new wife. "I'm sure it's just the shadow of the tree, Sara" he said. "Sara? Sara!" Liam looked on his dead wife, her sheets covered in blood and a knife in her heart.

Liam grabbed the knife and stood up, looking around, the room went darker and hooded men glowing in red surrounded him. He stabbed the man near him and pushed him to the ground, with fast moves he took down the rest and run to the stairs.

"Ahhhh!" he shouted as the knife got his leg and he fall down the stairs. Two hooded men grabbed him and put him on his knees in front the main door, more hooded men joined by. Then the door opened and an old hooded man with a cane entered, "at least you could put some clothes before meeting me "he said.

"How did you manage to hide all those years?" the old man asked. Liam raises his head, "I don’t know who you are and what you're talking about" he said. The old man reveals his face, "Arno Dorian, your father killed mine and this is my little revenge" Arno started walking toward Liam.

"No! I have nothing to do with this war of the templars and you! I barely knew my father!" he shouted. Suddenly a hooded man entered the room two kids with him, "Jacob! Evie! Stay away from them!" Liam shouted again trying to get free.

Someone covered Liam mouth, Arno kneeling near the twins and get an old paper out of his coat. "What do you see in the paper, boy? He asked Jacob. Jacob just nodded his head to no. "And you girl?" he asked again. "Shapes and numbers" Evie said.

Arno grabbed her shoulder, "clever girl, and the gift in so young age… please focus" he said and moved aside revealing Liam. "Please tell me in what colors do me and your father glows" he said.

"My father in blue and you in red" she said and blood started to leak from her nose. "Don’t worry girl, now you see me as an enemy, but my color will be changed. As for your father, the rest of the world seeing him in red, he is a bad man" he stood up.

"I have better idea, killing you isn't enough, I will take your kids raise them as assassins and turn them to weapons to eliminate the templars" he draws his knife from his belt. "And you, you will die a slowly and painful death" Liam get his mouth free.

"What about the children master?" asked one of the assassins. "Let them watch" Arno said and stabbed Liam. "No! No! Father!" Jacob started to shout and Evie started to scream in panic as Arno torturing Liam.



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Crawley, 1860
The assassin's HQ

Outside the great hall stood Jacob and Evie, Evie touched the door. "Why he is sending us to assassinate people? While the rest of the kids training and playing?" asked Jacob. "The books tell that only assassins turned 20 can go to assassination missions, but I know Arno doesn’t read" she said and they entered the great hall.

On the gold throne Arno sitting, the twins kneeling before him, "we complete the mission, master" Jacob said. Arno smiled and drank from his cup, than start to cough and blood spitted from his mouth.

"Jacob! Call for help!" Evie pushed her brother toward the door. Jacob left the hall in running and Arno fall down, Evie walking toward him and the hall turning white. "You! You! Traitor!" Arno spitting blood.

"I don’t remember who I was, who my real father his. But I do remember one thing" she said. "You never changed your color". Evie smiling as Arno died and she walked away.



Sequence completed…

what do you thinks? Jacob does look little like Shay

No reply?
Something about the overall idea?
English isn't my native language

Assassin_M
06-20-2015, 06:18 PM
To be completely honest, it's a cool idea and I thought the dialogue was quite good in some parts but I don't like it. I don't think Arno would be such a person. That would completely ruin his character and his whole arc from Unity. It'd render his whole speech at the end pointless. Unity already feels pointless as it is, so I don't really want the best thing out of its story (Arno) to be pointless too. I liked Arno. Here he comes across as a completely different person. Not to mention that it's confirmed that Evie and Jacob's father was an Assassin, so.

The_Pashker-Man
06-20-2015, 07:01 PM
To be completely honest, it's a cool idea and I thought the dialogue was quite good in some parts but I don't like it. I don't think Arno would be such a person. That would completely ruin his character and his whole arc from Unity. It'd render his whole speech at the end pointless. Unity already feels pointless as it is, so I don't really want the best thing out of its story (Arno) to be pointless too. I liked Arno. Here he comes across as a completely different person. Not to mention that it's confirmed that Evie and Jacob's father was an Assassin, so.

this idea based more on the similarity between jacob and shay than on what been confirmed.
here arno is 83 years old and its alot of time, arno in this story isn't a bad man.
arno blind by revenge or something, he is acting like that just with the cormacs...and becuase he think they are templars.

or its just my writing? in the "Assassin's Creed: Syndicate - Good Ending" (http://forums.ubi.com/showthread.php/1130040-Assassin-s-Creed-Syndicate-Good-Ending) jacob is the villain and evie died but come back.
to show more dark assassins.

More opinions?