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Jexx21
01-26-2015, 06:34 AM
One morning, as Al Mualim was getting ready for work, doing things like trimming his beard to be just the right length, a large crash was heard. Downstairs the two young Assassins, Connor and Ezio got into a fight over who has the worst life, and they knocked over the Christmas tree. Al Mualim rushed downstairs, and in the process of rushing out the bathroom he accidentally nicked his neck and started to bleed profusely.

Al Mualim rushed over to the two to give them a lesson by stabbing them in the gut and taking away all of their equipment and skills through the magic of his Apple iPhone, and the blood from his neck got all over the two boys and their presents and they started crying because their presents had blood on them, but not because they were stabbed in the gut because their lives were so terrible that they could take it.

When the blood landed on the presents it started to sizzle, and continued to dissolve through the presents like acid. Edward Kenway walked into the living room from the kitchen carrying a bottle of rum, and he balked. Not at the two dead boys and the old man bleeding from his jugular, but from all of the booty he stole for Chrismas! He wailed and went on a rampage, setting the fallen down Christmas tree on fire and stabbing Al Mualim through the heart.

In the end, he rushed out of the house and Arno jumped from the roof and killed him by sticking a pen in Edward's brain. Arno then went on to become an accomplished stealth bomber pilot and killed Kim Jong Un.

I-Like-Pie45
01-26-2015, 06:41 AM
would you mind submitting this to jack spheniscidae enterprises

I think this could be a real hit

The_Kiwi_
01-26-2015, 06:46 AM
10/10 - Stephanie Meyer

GoldenBoy9999
01-26-2015, 06:48 AM
Nice job. I find it funny how Altair is not mentioned once outside of the title. Maybe you should rethink that. :)

Jexx21
01-26-2015, 06:54 AM
Nice job. I find it funny how Altair is not mentioned once outside of the title. Maybe you should rethink that. :)

But Malik destroyed the Menorah, geeze read the OP before you post.

Namikaze_17
01-26-2015, 06:57 AM
Check out my thread sometime, Jexx. ;)

Welcome back and nice story. ^__^

Jexx21
01-26-2015, 07:01 AM
The flying lemur flew the roost and is never coming back.

Namikaze_17
01-26-2015, 07:03 AM
The flying lemur flew the roost and is never coming back.

Ah, well safe travels.

The_Kiwi_
01-26-2015, 07:52 AM
The flying lemur flew the roost and is never coming back.

Is that why you weren't in The Last Airbender?

JustPlainQuirky
01-26-2015, 01:29 PM
This has blown my mind on so many levels.

10/10

How much canon is too much canon?