You are all right. For someone who usually doesn't articulate hinself so well (just kidding buddy), MWolfe made a rather profound comment (and rather well worded) in that "None of this helps esteem, it just creates entitlement". Entitlement is the glorification of "the self". Humility is the opposite. Losers (IMHO) make the best winners because, if you've ever seen a loser who finally wins, they didn't expect it and tend to react humbly in their reward/award.
Now, I'm going to go somewhere that may sound unusual, weird, eccentric, etc., but it's what I live, breathe and rely on in my own life, despite my failures (sometimes) in these areas. Today's world/society is all about giving in to, or satisfying the needs of the flesh. If it's not a TV commercial about some type of "Trojan" vibrator or "Male Enhancement" pill, then it's the behaviors suggested by TV shows and the cinema. I'm not just talking about sex here. Think about something as simple as food. What is food? It's something meant only as a form of sustenance for the body. Yet, we've turned it into a decadent form of entertainment. A night out, for some, is dining at a fine restaurant, eating exotic foods. This is usually followed by a movie or a night of dancing and drinking at a local club. Not that there's anything wrong with moderation in these areas, but some people build their lives around it and are simply miserable if their entertainment routine is broken/interrupted. We even hold Eating Competitions where scores of people find entertainment in cheering on the paticipants during a competition of gluttony. Look up the word "Decadent" and see how many catagorys our country has fallen into. Sports, Food, Ultimate Fighting (Gladiators), Legal (prescription) or illegal drugs, alcohol, sexual gratification, etc., etc.. The list goes on and on. I think our forefathers would be horrified.
The point is, the more you give-in to the flesh, the more you alienate the spirit. "Can water and vinegar flow from the same fountain?" "You cannot serve God and mammon." Anyway, the more you deny the flesh, the more you fill yourself with the spirit. Fill a glass with water and then think of the body as a glass and the spirit as the water it contains. If you start to pour in any outside influenes, it displaces the water until the water starts pouring over the rim, leaving the glass filled with the new contents. Each successive generation has slowly added more and more outside influences into their children's glasses until we now find ourselves faced with a situation in which the children are unaware that anything else exists, that's worth pouring into their glasses. I'll never buy my children an X-Box or any other type of game box. If they choose to when they are older, that's their business. Like the Prodigal son, I'm confident that they'll return to what I'm teaching them when they grow old. Too many parents buy their kids a game box with the idea that, now they don't have to bother with their children, the X-box will keep them busy. Or, maybe summer camp will keep them busy, or maybe the nanny, daycare, whatever.
I'm not saying these things (in and of themselves) are bad, but that we slowly, over the years, have come to rely (too much) more and more on these things than the old fashion value of sitting and talking, one-on-one, with out kids. I'll tell you one thing, if I want to make sure my children grow up filled to the brim with MY values, I'm certainly not going to entrust that important, life encompassing, profound, duty to anyone else but myself. No one else will be able to fill their glasses with MY values, except ME. That's what I've always suspected, and have come to see with my own eyes after dealing with soooo many other's family problems. I've also seen it's affects in my own life, and in the lives of my children. Even the contrast between my own successes and failures.