[Ubi Official] Favorite House Quotes | Forums

[Katealyst]

Hey House Fans!

We are looking to hear your favorite House quotes. What are your favorite quotes from the House show? Post them in this thread. Who knows, maybe you will see them in our in-game launcher.

Some Quote Sites:

House MD Quotes

House MD Guide Quotes

My Favorites:

"Like I always say, there’s no 'I' in 'team'. There is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

"Are you … comparing me to God? I mean, that’s great, but just so you know, I’ve never made a tree."

"And humility is an important quality. Especially if you’re wrong a lot…. Of course, when you’re right, self-doubt doesn’t help anybody, does it?"

[abulawright]

"Everybody Dies" & "Everybody Lies"

[llstgaudens]

"The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth."

[KanraNingyou]

My favourite quote from House:

"Aw, that is cute. I'm talking about your breasts. They always get perky when you're being painfully earnest. Truth. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? More truth... I only noticed because Chase was staring at them. He'd never admit it, because he doesn't want to offend you. Same reason he'd never tell you that he's thought about having sex with you. Although, to be fair, every man you've ever met has thought about having sex with you. They'll lie, because if you knew, you probably wouldn't want to have sex with them. And that's just some of the lies from the last minute. And here's a bigger one: you already know this, but you pretend you don't because it makes you feel civilized. Most people find it easier to ignore the truth."

His little rants are funny. XD

[picantedulce]

"Sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they kick your ***"

[TheQueenOfMars]

"Gotta go-building full of sick people. If I can hurry, maybe I can avoid them."

If any doctor said this in real life I'd probably piss myself laughing

[gatorgrad12]

Dr. Gregory House: [to a parent about her crying daughter] Give her 20 milligrams of anti-histamine. It could save her life. Because if she doesn't shut up, I'll kill her.

Dr. Gregory House: Nobody speak Korean on this flight?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I assumed you did.
Dr. Gregory House: I know how to ask him if his sister's over eighteen. I just don't think that's gonna help.

12 year old boy: What's extension of pastory?
Dr. Gregory House: It's when you're molested by a priest's cousin.

HOUSE: So it could be radiation poisoning.
CUDDY: From a broken leg?
HOUSE: From the X-rays they took of it.
CUDDY: He could break every bone in his body and still not have enough x-rays to cause radiation sickness.
HOUSE: Unless those X-rays were performed in "Wankoff", North Korea by a third-grade dropout with a 50-year-old imager. [pointing to Peng's bald head] Which accounts for the absence of fur. Radiation poisoning accounts for all the symptoms.
JOY: [butting in] I have hair. I haven't had an X-ray since I got my teeth whitened.
HOUSE: [has enough of her] You're pregnant.
JOY: [wtf] I'm what?
HOUSE: Explains the nausea, abdominal pains, fever. And why you're stuffing your 36Cs into a 34B bra.
CUDDY: And her rash?
HOUSE: PUPPPs. Common pregnancy rash.
[Just so y'all know, it's "Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy".]
JOY: [indignant] I can't be pregnant.
HOUSE: You a virgin?
JOY: No, but--
HOUSE: You're pregnant. Mazel tov. [to Cuddy] Let's get him into the chair.

[Devil_dave_001]

"Candy Canes are you mocking me!"
"What?...Oh mummy &daddy are fighting at the moment , it doesn't mean we stopped loving you"

[AmberKaras]

House: "I said I was an addict. I didn't say I had a problem"
House: "Could we get off my screw-ups and focus on theirs? Theirs are bigger."
House: "She has God inside her. It would have been easier to deal with a tumor"
House: "Life sucks. Your life sucks more than most. It's not as bad as some, which is depressing all by itself."
House: "As fascinating as our bodies are, they're also stupid."
House: "Sorry, up late. Internet porn."
House: "The nameless poor have a face, and it's a pompous white man."
House: "Sorry, I missed that. Hearing's been off since the Ricky Martin concert-some cholo kicked me in the head."
House: "Awesome. A sex fiend with a swollen tongue. Just think of all the places I can make Foreman search."
House: "Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."
House: "Okay, fine. I'll father your child. But first you gotta write me a Vicodin prescription. Just so I can get through the foreplay."
House: "Even fetuses lie."
House: "You don't think non-answers tell me anything?"
House: "People don't learn; people don't change. But you did. You're a freak."

[ubi-captherp]

Fun to see everyone in here submitting stuff. Keep it up!

Best,
House MD Team