I noticed in Crysis that Crytek made exactly the same control goofups that they made in the original Far Cry. No toggle
crouch. No toggle zoom. Seems all my dire predictions about Crysis came true, so I guess I learned to translate all the excuses ... and now here comes Far Cry 2 making the exact same ones. The delays. The bullroar about them wanting to get it right before putting it out. Here's what that means:
1. We want the game to be bug free before putting it out:
Translation: We are a bunch of cheap con-artists, who really don't want to pay our coders, so we only let them work on
the game in their spare time. Over the last year, we have hardly worked on the game at all, but maybe we will get back
to it some day. Shoot. All it takes is to put some new faces on COD2, and knock over a few trees. No big rush.
2. Far Cry 2 is the sequal to Far Cry:
Translation: Hmm .. Crysis and Halo3 might open up a kids market for older shooters, and we should cash in on that and
dump a quicky look-alike out the door. Somebody go get the MOHAA and COD code out of the basement, and let's see what
we've got. We'll call it Far Cry 2 and get a lot of free advertisement from the old gamers on the UBI website, but
actually, it will in no way resemble Far Cry.
3. The Beta has shown us that we need more time, so the new date is November 11, 2009:
Translation: Gee Whiz ... The Crysis scam didn't work. Nobody is buying that piece of junk. Maybe we should really
think about doing a real Far Cry 2 with Jack and Val and the Trigens ?? Anybody know a good coding company who could
handle a job like that? Maybe Piranha Bytes could talk Grandma into loaning them the Crytek Engine.
4. 'Scoops, Kimi ... et all moderators: We assure you that Far Cry 2 will come out when it is ready:
Translation: We don't have a clue. All we know is there is a rumor that UBI is working on it.
5. Me: Right. Sure. You bet.
Translation: If you guys want to see the real Far Cry 2, load up Gothic 3, and in 30 minutes of game play, you will
feel a sense of joy that you're finally back in the woods, and if you aren't careful, and keep your bow at the ready,
something is going to eat you.