last night we managed to play online, myself & 3 buddys finally all got into a server, here's how!
Firstly i wanted to play using some maps i'd created, i simply emailed the map from my documents/far cry 2/user maps to each of my buddies & got them to manually drop the maps into their Far Cry 2 directorys, hosted a private non ranked player match with a password.
hey presto they joined & we palyed!
however there were still some disconnect & random freezing issues for one player.
It seems whenever i hosted a normal multiplayer map without sending the map files out the message my buddies got when trying to join was "unable to load map", must have something to do with the reason i cannot publish any maps through the game, i have opened all the ports in my router suggested in the game & on these forums.
So you can play with your budddies using the method above until UBI decide to release a patch.