Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: A story related to us | Forums

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,881
    Here's a short story about a guy who really gets-it from his Il2 victims. If you like reading fiction you should enjoy it. Don't worry, it has been cleaned-up but it is still PG recomended for gorriness.
    http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1389504
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pirschjaeger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    9,880
    Cool read, thanks.

    I can't remember the last time I read fiction.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    1,241
    That story solves the problem of the Missed Members
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  4. #4
    Senior Member LEBillfish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    6,520
    Just goes to prove bomber crews are sore losers....

    -
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  5. #5
    Senior Member Crash_Moses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    1,919
    Very creative.

    However, I move use of the word "oldmanfully" be made a felony.

    Originally posted by LEBillfish:
    Just goes to prove bomber crews are sore losers....
    DARN TOOTIN! Be nice to have some decent fighter cover for a change. ("Hello little friends" my *** )
    --------------------------------------------------------
    B-25/PBJ Precision Ordinance Delivery Manual
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  6. #6
    Interesting story, nicely done. But shouldn`t it be Oleg getting visited? After all, he made it all possible!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks ya'll, I wrote that story last weekend. It's the first one I ever wrote and you are my first ever readers as far as I know.

    Oldmanfully, oldmanlike, oldmannishly, oldfartfully, hmmm oh well.
    As long as the story was understandable. Was any of it hard to understand?
    Thnks in advance for any feedback or further critisism.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  8. #8
    Pretty good in a "Twilight Zone" or "Night Gallery" sort of way. Only suggestion I'd make is you need to have the victim be perhaps a bit more "evil". I mean he's playing a "game", does he deserve the Zombie treatment of being a drunk middleaged, sim pilot.

    Now if he were a card carrying neonazi who delighted at killing, simulated or not, now that might deserve some otherworldly justice. As it is this guys as innocent as the phantoms he's supposedly killed.

    Just my suggestion.

    Da Worfster
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,881
    Originally posted by Worf101:
    Pretty good in a "Twilight Zone" or "Night Gallery" sort of way. Only suggestion I'd make is you need to have the victim be perhaps a bit more "evil". I mean he's playing a "game", does he deserve the Zombie treatment of being a drunk middleaged, sim pilot.

    Now if he were a card carrying neonazi who delighted at killing, simulated or not, now that might deserve some otherworldly justice. As it is this guys as innocent as the phantoms he's supposedly killed.

    Just my suggestion.

    Da Worfster
    Good Idea, thanks, I never thought of that. I am going to rewrite it and do just-that your right, the guy needs to be a real-scumbag.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    2,240
    When I read this, it reminded me of the B-17 story in the movie "Heavy Metal", and the Twilight Zone episode "Deaths-Head Revisited".

    I think that your story has the makings for a good stage play along the lines of "is this real, or is my mind F'ing with me?"

    P.S. Don't let Raaaid read your story.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •