Post your feedback here on my fanfic. Sorry if it's a little ambiguous, but it has to be in certain ways. I'll try to answer any questions, unless it gives away too much of my plot...
EDIT: MAJOR CHANGE!
So I've totally revamped my story.
After much thought, I decided to take a new direction, so my story isn't related to SC at all beyond inspiration and influence. I'll still post it up once I finish.
The basic premise:
Daniel Anderson and John Ramirez are two private security contractors hired by the Department of Defense to track down a missing scientist and piece of prototype hardwire, picking up the trail in Asia. Things rapidly change because - of course - the DOD hasn't given the full story on the situation.