The Age and Country Hotel - Part III; Evolution from the Glitch | Forums

[Zander Nyrond]

Zander stands very still for the best part of a minute. When he speaks, his voice is so quiet that Jahura has to strain to hear it.

"I am getting a little tired," he says, "of people taking it upon themselves to punish you for decisions which were partly mine. And, indeed, of people punishing you...at all." He raises his voice a little. "Everything we have decided stands. Nothing will be changed to suit the Great Tree or the Middle-Sized Shrub or the Walking Lampshade or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or anyone else. And the next scrofulous jackanapes who asks your name without first furnishing a full and candid account of him- or herself will feel the length of my tongue before--" He stops. Makes a huge effort. Smiles. "Sorry, love," he says, in almost his normal tones. "Been a bit of a day. Let's get back to the hotel and see what fresh disasters they've managed to conjure there. This lot can handle one night under the stars. And I want a night in the room we just cleared out."

"So do I," Jahura sighs. "Goddess I might be, but I'm still beat." She looks at the milling refugees. Some of them have started to take note of their surroundings, and a few are sitting down on the lush grass, or tentatively sniffing the fruit on the trees. "Okay," she says. "Let's go home."

[MystNovice]

KI to KI
Jo Tyler to TOOO

TOOO,

Yes, Murinna is with us, but she's not too happy about having to wear a robe. We're in the middle of the werewolf cult stronghold, and Tully is trying to sell them peanut butter (don't ask). There is an awful smell coming from everyone's feet and I have no idea how we're getting out of here, but other than that we're okay for now. How are you, and more importantly, where in the multiverse have you been!?

Jo


Now Here

Indeed, Murinna was not happy at all. Not only had she been forcibly clothed in the same ugly robes that everyone else was wearing, but she was being supported by the arms over Marae's and Tora's shoulders and hauled around like a sack of potatoes with her fin being dragged along the ground behind her. If that wasn't bad enough, Neko had taken to batting at the mermaid's fin with her claws as it flopped about helplessly.

Appropriately in the center of attention and having finished his spellbinding sales pitch, Tully finished with a grand flourish and asked the throngs of assembled werewolves, "How many orders can I put you down for? Payments up front, please. No COD." There was a chaotic ****mor for the Nyrond's attention as the cult members frantically shouted out orders, apparently loath to contract anything called "lychen lichen".

While the Nyrond held the cult's attention the rest of the group took in their surroundings. They were in the belly, so to speak, of a monstrous limestone cave with countless old waterways wending off in many directions, most leading down. The werewolves themselves seemed almost countless in number. There was no indication of any Fairy Gate or wierd link-blocking technology from here, but Duke had himself an idea. "Psst, Dorian, Boppy," he whispered to the hanyo and shapeshifted werewolf.

"Yeah, whatsup!" the little one all too loudly replied. Fortunately, the shouting coming from Tully's direction drowned him out.

"Sshhh!" the equine quickly quieted him, "You two are both part-canines..." He eyed Dorian. "At least, for the moment, so you two probably have the best shot of sneaking off and taking a look around."

Boppy required very little prompting, and before any one could stop him, he leapt about twenty feet in a single bound and plunged down the nearest dried waterway, shouting, "Yipee!"

Not having been privy to the whispered conversation, Tasha whirled about and panickingly shouted, "Boppy! Where are you going!?"

"Don't worry," Dorian quickly reassured her, "I'll get him." Showing a much greater capacity for stealth than the puppy-boy, he slipped away from the group and blended into the crowd, going in the direction that Boppy had disappeared.

[T.O.O.O.]

Murinna looked longingly at the myriad waterways, causing Marae and Tora to look at each other. "Do you think it's safe?" Tora whispered. "I'd think they'd notice."
"Well, I'm getting sick and tired of being dragged around like a sack of potatoes!" Murinna whispered back.
"Murinna, please," Marae whispered. "It's too dangerous!"
"But maybe if I can slip away into one of these streams," Murinna whispered, "I can find out what's causing all your problems! Look, all I need is some kind of distraction, and I can slip away! It's dark enough in here that, if I stay deep enough, they won't see me!"

[Zander Nyrond]

"Look what I found," Jahura says, as Zander comes in from the bathroom. She holds up a brown paper bag and waggles it at him.

He takes it and looks inside.

"Asterisks," he murmurs, looking up and catching her eye. "Now that's a sight for sore eyes."

He takes off his glasses and puts them on the night stand.

* * * * * * * * * *

"STOP!" cries a cracked, harsh voice, and Tully pauses in the act of making change (something at which Nyronds are, of course, experts).

An aged werewolf hobbles into view. One-eyed and scarred, he wears a necklace of fangs and a tattered loincloth of wolfskin.

"Have ye forgotten yourselves?" he demands. "Are ye so fallen away from your glorious heritage that ye would trade with these hairless apes? Does the pride of the pack mean nothing to ye?"

"I beg your pardon, grandfather," says Tully politely, "but may I know whom I am addressing?"

"That's One-Eye," a nearby lycan whispers, "the priester. He's a traditionalist."

"I'd never have guessed," Tully whispers back.

"What foolery is this?" One-Eye picks up a jar of peanut butter and sniffs at it contemptuously. Ignoring the young wolf who has just paid for it, he tosses it aside and advances on Tully. "What art thou peddling, ape?"

Tully is thinking fast. "All right. First off, not actually an ape. Secondly, I take issue with the word 'peddling.'"

"Words are an ape thing," One-Eye spits. "We use them only to curse. Wouldst thou prefer if I said--" And he utters a complicated growl/snarl/snort which means nothing to Tully at all.*

"And thirdly, revered grandfather," Tully goes on quickly, "is it possible that your life has been so blessed that you have not heard of the dreaded lycan lichen?"

"It's terrible!" cries a voice from the crowd.

"My feet stink!"

"The cure, we must have the cure!"

"Lycan lichen?" One-Eye echoes derisively. "Never heard of it."

"Oh dear," Tully says, very quietly. "Um--help?"

*Literally "giving a thing-that-smells-of-nothing and getting a thing-that-smells-of-nothing." Useless (i.e. unrelated to food or sex) activity, time-wasting. Thrope's Short Primer of the Were Tongue, 1978 edition.

[T.O.O.O.]

...and that about sums it up. Creating Goddess in Woman's Image isn't a mortal (or immortal?) sin, is it?

TOOO

Jo sighed, and switched off her KI.

[jahura]

"Jahura?"

Jahura half-turns over. Floating at the end of the bed is a translucent apparition of Jo. She props herself up on her elbows.

"Jo? Is that you?"

"I'm JoJo," the apparition answers, "I need your help." Her voice sounds ar away, as if speaking to her from another room.

Jahura sits up fully, cross-legged on the bed.
"How can I help?"

Zander snorts awake.
"Who are you talking to, dear?"

"JoJo." Jahura replies, nodding toward the end of the bed.

Zander sits up and puts on his glasses. He gives a tug on the sheet to ensure coverage of the nethers and glances at JoJo curiously.

"I need help." JoJo repeats. "I'm a newly appointed Goddess of a pocket universe but I don't know what to do. I can't do anything, really. Look." She passes her hand through the end of the bed.

"Immaterial." Zander says thoughtfully.

"It's like I'm only half here but everywhere."

Jahura looks to Zander.
"Half here?"

Zander glances back at Jahura.
"Half written."

"Pen and paper." Jahura agrees. She throws back the covers and moves over to the desk. She searches the drawers for a pen and some hotel stationery.

Jo gasps, realizing, "oh my gosh. I came at a bad time, didn't I?"

"Don't worry about it." Jahura says with a dismissive wave of her hand. "In fact, you might as well get used to it. Once things get going in your domain you're going to be accidentally called in on way more than this. Ah - " She pulls a leather folder out of the top drawer and a pen. Inside are sheets of hotel stationery, acid-baked to look like parchment. She pulls out a sheet and places it on top of the folder and returns to her spot on the bed.

The corners of JoJo's mouth curl downward at the mere thought.

Jahura hands the pen and paper over to Zander.
"Okay," Jahura says, "we'll start with your name."

"JoJo."

"Was JoJo always your name?"

JoJo shakes her head. "It's a nickname. My name is Joanne Tyler."

Zander starts writing.
"How old are you, Joanne?"

JoJo starts to say something but halts with mouth open.
"I don't know." She says after a moment.

"Where were you born? Who are your parents? How did you find the Cavern?" Jahura asks.

JoJo holds her hands up to her temples.
"Please, please - too many questions! I don't know! "

Jahura sighs and looks to Zander.

"This could take a while."

[Zander Nyrond]

"Um...do you want me to, you know..." Zander mimes writing furiously. "...flesh it out a bit?"

"How do you mean?" Jahura says warily.

"Well, I am a writer, after all. Easy enough to put in a little back story."

"Without knowing what it's supposed to be?"

"Well, if she--I beg your pardon, my dear, if you--" Zander bows to JoJo. "--don't know what it 'should' be...who else will?"

"TOOO might," JoJo suggests timidly. "He's the only person I can remember talking to."

"Well..." Zander hesitates, and finally starts grabbing clothes, laying the pen and paper down on the bed as he does so. "No, you're right, it wouldn't be right. I'd better see if he's still up. This is obviously urgent."

"I'll come with," Jahura suggests.

"No no, love, you stay here and keep our guest company, if you wouldn't mind. I'd rather not leave her alone or subject her to too much dotting about. You look, if you don't mind my saying so, a little tenuous just at present." This, again, to JoJo, who smiles gratefully, though Zander does not see it as his head is enveloped in his turtleneck. "And if it's a question of firming you up without adding too much extraneous detail, I know of no goddess with a lighter touch than my lady here." The head pops out with an irrepressible grin.

"Gee, thanks," Jahura says. "No pressure, then."

"Only the usual fifteen PSI," Zander says cheerfully, as he goes to the door. "I'll be as quick as I can."

And he goes downstairs in quest of TOOO.

---

"I, er, mean it," Tully says. Several of the werewolves are looking at One-Eye, who is standing defiantly, arms folded, and casting suspicious glances at Tully. "Au secours? Hilfe? E pericoloso dependar per il fenestro? Prosze nie karmic ptakow? Frop naglibang twiskelmoop? Anybody?"

[T.O.O.O.]

TOOO nearly choked on his ice water. "She's here? JoJo is here?"

"Yes," Zander replied, a little puzzled by the reaction.

"I specifically stated her powers would only work in the pocket Universe! How could this happen?" He stood. "I think you'd better take me to her."

As they climbed the stairs, TOOO's mind was racing. Cannax. She's re-Written JoJo. It has to be. She's the only one who could do it. She's the only one who would do it! Was JoJo in the way? Was she distracting Michael - or the other gladiators? Oh, Cannax, Cannax, what have you done?

[jahura]

TOOO rushes up the hallway with Zander close behind. Mind racing with questions and suppositions, he places his hand on the knob of the door to Room 12 and turns it, pushing the door open.

"Before you do that," Zander muses, a bit too late, "you may want to - "


TOOO turns into the room, freezes momentarily,
"HEL-lo!"
then turns back into the hall slamming the door behind him. His face is flushed scarlet.

" - knock first."

"Uh, boy. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry - I wasn't thinking..." TOOO's hand goes up to his forehead, shielding his eyes in embarrassment.

The door opens again, and Jahura stands there in full glory. She props herself against the door frame with her arm.
"Hi, TOOO." Jahura says casually, "I'm guessing Zander told you."

TOOO peeks through the space between his middle and third finger.
"Er - yeah. She's not nude too, is she?"

"Love, if you would be so kind as to throw something on I would appreciate it." Zander says, touching Jahura on her shoulder.

Jahura smiles and nods. "Sure thing." She opens the door wider. "Come on in." She tilts her head in the direction of the room, inviting them.

TOOO drops his hand from his face and tries to suppress a grin.
Oh well, go with the flow...

[T.O.O.O.]

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
John 1:1

---

TOOO tried to avert his gaze. You'd think my acquaintance with Murinna would have prepared me for this.
He finally turned to JoJo.

---

The word became flesh....
John 1:14

---

It occurred to him he was standing in the presence of two goddesses: one dressed as a Greek goddess and the other - if their artwork was to be believed - like a Roman goddess. Venus and Aphrodite. Except Aphrodite was often portrayed nude, too.

"TOOO?"
He approached JoJo, taking her hands in his own. "I'm so sorry I got you into this, JoJo. We've been kicking you around like a.football. But how did you get here? Did Cannax send you?"
She nodded, tears swelling up in her eyes. "She said she was giving me my freedom."
TOOO nodded. "'Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose'. Then, she's Written more of you."
By this time, Jahura had finished dressing. TOOO turned to her. "How are the Ahuri going to react to this?"