Dear Mr Sikshoota,
I hope you have a starting solution for the M62 engines in my I-153's & I-16's. I sometimes, inadvertantly flood them and the truck with the "Hucks starter" is not always around. I'm usually too low to try to get the prop to kick the engine over and my crates don't have enough seats to carry an extra person to spin it for me, if I do land safely. Can you help me, or do I wait for Mr Oleg assistance?
Your problems could all be over by availing yourself of our superb remedial training where we teach you to start engines properly. Alternatively you could leave your bucket of bolts behind and climb into one of our magnificently maintained aircraft which have real engines.
With Kind Regards,
Dear helpful Mr Cavok,
I was contemplating whether to attend your superb remedial training or just sit back and clean out the navel lint in my belly button. Unfortunatly, I will have to go with the second option. I looked at that "bucket of bolts" you 12 Squadron jokers train on (called "TB something") and see that my inability to count past three, presents too much of an obstacle in starting all the engines of that particular beast.
By the way, does the TB, come equiped with laundry facilities and a hill's hoist, so I can hang out my washing?
Thankyou, More confused than ever.
Er um...Sorry Tintin old chappy re your first enquiry over the little I16's & I-153P's aspiration difficulties, apart from offering a bit of "Kentucky Windage" advise...whats that I hear you ask???
Well to put you squarely in the picture, as the sights of our forebears firearms, notably the Kentucky Rifle, were primitive & were unable to be adjusted, our forebears chose to make allowances for this.
Simply put they practiced often & corrected their aim & eventually came to allow for crosswinds & greater distances.
Consequently, their ability to compensate & become quite proficient at mastering their Rifles became legend.
Therefore unless you can be the first to replace the carby system on these lil' planes with Olegs or some other helpful & interested party, then you'll just have to get along with a little Kentucky Windage! :-)
As to your enquiry regarding the washing & subsequent airing of uniforms etc whilst on board the venerable TB3, let me assure you that whilst airborne, the drone line that we attach for towing I-16 & I-153P is utilised for this purpose. Although I will add that you are priveleged to learn of our most advanced secret project!!!
Oh of course...nearly forgot, silly me eh, in 12 Sqn we learn to count. Our Chaps have a large blue/blackboard above their cockpits were the following lesson in maths is held each mission, its called...
"Your Lucky Stars, count them!"
Cheers Old Boy [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif[/img]
"Always aim to be careful,
& always be careful to aim!"
Ahh, so thats what that mystery counting we No.83 squadron boys keep hearing on escort missions. I'd like to point out however, that there is a '4' between 3 and 5. [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif[/img]
Before take off next sortie, could you please let me know if you have spare space on the TB-3 clothes lines. Over at the No.83 Squadron barbeque area, we had an accident with the sauce which saw a number of freshly pressed uniforms stained, much to the horror of our beloved Wing Commander who thought we were all bleeding to death after returning from a mission.
I imagine it would be rather frightening to think you were seeing your *best* squadron stagger around (the effects of our VB stash) with red stains all over their uniforms. Heh [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif[/img]
Anyhoo, will be awaiting your reply. We will supply the tailplanes of No.75 squadron aircraft we have knocked down as payment. [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif[/img]
No.83 Squadron OIC
</A>I am a Death Chase Rider.
I enjoy taking risks, and I get kicks from speed, danger, and death-defying stunts. I drink and drive, I bungee jump, I snowboard, with no regard for my own life, or the lives of those who stand in my way. Trees? I laugh at trees! What Video Game Character Are You?
My Dear Sqn Ldr Cheese,
So pleasant to hear from you. I am dismayed at your tone considering earlier comms on the probability of you having to change your name to Swiss Cheese if you came near 12 Sqn formations other than in totally dedicated fighter support role!
No matter! Regarding the washing. Yes, our fixed undercarriage TB3's have several dimensions. You can either put your jocks on the legs for extensive fast drying in flight, or, you can just hang them out on our presently unserviceable aircraft - a situation which is occassioned by the fighter jocks pinching our mainwheels for their wheelchairs!
We must have satisfied Mr 'now even more confused' as we have heard nothing further from him.
That prevented me getting a last dig in (sorry - saluatation). TinTin - I believe I knew your father (Rin Tin Tin) I used to take him for walks. Please pass on my warmest greetingss if you would be so kind. Is not Aviation such a small world?
With the Kindest Regards
"You want to go up - you pull the stick back.
You want to go down you meet 12 Sqn, 2TW!"
On the subject of pinch...er, borrowing parts from the TB-3s, I apologise for the co-pilots control wheel which you will no doubt find missing on your lead aircraft. One of the wheels fell off our barbeque, and we needed a replacement. The tail wheel from one of our fighters would have sufficed, but it just isnt cricket to pinch...*ahem*, borrow parts from your own aircraft.
It is good to know that we can utilise the old TB-3's as Hills Hoists, as the skipper was quite upset to find stains on the brand new uniforms. As if to add insult to injury, a number of our medals (we have quite a few) managed to find their way into the washing machines where they caused almost as much damage as a TB-3 can inflict. [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif[/img]
It would appear that my P-39 is fuelled up and ready to go. Barbeque time! Would you like escort with that? [img]/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif[/img]
No.83 Squadron OIC
The fighter pilot's emotions are those of a duellist - cool, precise, impersonal. He is priviledged to kill well. For if one must kill or be killed, as now one must, it should, I feel, be done with dignity. Death should be given the setting it deserves; it should never be a pettiness; and for the fighter pilot it never can be.
Dear helpful Mr Sikshoota,
I'm back again,
Thankyou for all your help so far. I believe that you have inadvertantly mentioned some clues to the identity of the expert on TB3's. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were talking about "Kentucky windage" or "Kentucky rifles". Personally, I prefer the Brown Bess musket, used by the redcoats. Obviously your'e refering to "Daniel Boone" and his coonskin hat of 1770's fame, famous frontier man and well known TB3 pilot. After all, they are of the same vintage. This is not to be confused with "Davey Crocket" of 1834 Alamo fame, who was just an ace on those I-153's and I-16's. I notice your 2IC Cavoc, or is that Custer?, will be flying his COG exam. Will he be able to demonstrate an immelmann, split S and barrell roll in a TB3? I'm really looking forward to the dive bombing presentation he is going to do in the TB3. Hopefully, the I-153's or I-16's will still be attached to it's wings at the time. Remember, points will be awarded for each engine and or wing that hits the target, before the bombs do. Anyway, thats me for now, hope to see you flying about, sometime soon. You will be the one wearing a skunk on his head.
Thankyou, more confused then ever.