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Thread: Bad Joke :) | Forums

  1. #1
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

    The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

    "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

    "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

    The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20....



    but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ... "

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  2. #2
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

    The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

    "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

    "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

    The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20....



    but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ... "

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Speedyserd's Avatar
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    groan...

    "Don't look before you leap. It'll ruin the surprise"

    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
    Albert Einstein

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  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    The new Homeland Security Bill has passed.
    Things will be different now. Internet surfing will be tracked by the FBI with a non-intrusive method. The FBI says you will not notice anything different. For a demonstration - Click on the link below...
    http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes
    >
    >

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  5. #5
    @ Sky!

    Hi, Sky! WHat are you up to today? I have the day off work so I'm loafing

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  6. #6
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    I am playing hookie from work today Well I am sick. And I have a really busy day on Friday I took a day to rest so I am ready for it.

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  7. #7
    I hope you feel better.

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  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Gab sugested chicken soup but I want going to tell this fella that

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  9. #9
    First off, GROAN!!! to princess. And to sky, it looks like the eyes have it.

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  10. #10
    Tee hee! I did say it was bad....

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    In a place where there are no men, it is your duty to be a man.
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