Ok, ok. All these games coming out think they're so cool with their "action". Well, my idea of action hasn't been met yet. I mean, this would be action right here b!tches:
Ok, so it starts like this. You don't even get a god damn opening video because it's too GOD DAMN SLOW you just get dropped into the level. Everything is on fire... EVERY F*CKING THING. So it's a city enviorment but the entire motherf*cking thing is being run by crazy *** motherf*cking robots that JUST WANT TO KILL SH1T!!! Anyway, you have this big *** gun called the @ssKicker4000, which fits appropriately with your name (Toughguy McKickass). Its this BIG @$$ GUN with a f*cking shotgun, rocket launcher, railgun, and MOTHERF*CKING ACID SPITTER all in f*cking one. AND THIS B!TCH DOESNT EVEN RELOAD. No, you know what? It fires everything at the same time becasue its F*CKING BAD @$$. So the point of the game is to move your @$$ from point A to point B *** fast as you god damn can while killing all the **** you can on the way. There is no point C for objectives and **** because ITS TOO F*CKING SLOW!!!!!! So you just run *** fast as f*cking light through this fire-infested city and suddenly all these robots f*cking start blasting the **** out of you. AND THEY'RE ALL ON F*CKING FIRE TOO! You start blasting the **** out of all these dumb b!tches and they all just explode. Why? WHO THE F*CK CARES, ONLY YOU REALISM WH*RES DO! but your doing all of this while your running to point B. After 5 minuties of just blowing **** up you finally make it to point B which is an elevator. Take the elevator? F*CK NO! You have your @ssKicker4000 complete with mini-nuke. You f*cking blow yourself to the top of the f*cking elevator shaft. There's the boss. What is he? He's just this, gigantic, f*cking thing with a bunch of guns attached to it. AND YOU JUST BLOW THE F*CK OUT OF IT AND ALL THESE GIBS AND BLOOD SPARTS JUST FLY THE F*CK OFF OF HIM. AND YOU BLOW THE MOTHERF*CKING **** OUT OF THIS BLOBBY B!TCH FOR LIKE 10 MINUTIES! And finally when he's dead he just f*cking BLOWS THE F*CK UP! And then the finall part of the level is to f*cking land safely off the building (while it's on fire) and land on some more robot motherf*ckers. =END LEVEL 1: TUTORIAL=
THATS A ****ING ACTION GAME *****ES!!!