OOps sorry dudes, didn't know if I was cryptic enough - clearly not!

I was wetting myself when I was writing them so probably got a bit carried away!

quote:

Originally posted by dj_psyx:Mangoriver - a caveman off on a fishing trip

ROFLMFAO

Monitor - A kindly person who ... HEY KID! STOP RUNNING IN THE HALL OR I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!!!

19" Monitor - A very small kindly person who ...

Microsoft - A double impediment to a successful career in adult movies.

Bind - Something that someone, somewhere, sometimes gets into.

World Wide Web - Home of the biggest spider EVER!!!

Broadband - An all-female musical group.

Download - A natural bodily function which necessitates a visit to the Mens/Ladies Room.

Fast Download - An unexpected bodily function which can prove embarassing if you are not in very close proximity to the Mens/Ladies Room.

Express/Hi-speed Download - A very unexpected and generally uncontrollable bodily function which can prove extremely embarassing if you are not actually in the cubicle .. and sitting down .. before the download starts.

'Close window when download is complete' - An extremely vindictive and sadistic thing to do.

Now see what you've started ?

Richie.

PMSL Richie, top drawer dude! Especially the Microsoft one!

Ok,Ok,timeout!!!Some absolute classics!! Much better than I expected and it's given me a good laugh,however excuse my naivety once again as a newie,but what was going on with dj's post and cuZ's edit?Or have I missed a really obvious point?I'm merely asking because I don't know all of the formal etiquette that comes with posting here,and don't wish to push my luck when posting or offend anyone?If this thread is not appropriate to continue,could someone let me know before I dig a big hole for myself?!!!

no ellie it was my fault! I used content that is probably not suitable for a public forum in reference to a European country that ends in the name of an FC map! (hopes that is an ok description so as not to p33 Cuz off again! )

Basically I'd say that as long as you don't swear or include rude, lude, crude or illegal content you'll be fine! (see forum rules sticky post for full details!)

Case Fan - Someone who really, really likes cases ... collects all their photos ... has posters of them all over the bedroom walls ...

PSU - Purple Stinging Unction ... a brightly coloured, but painful-to-apply cream, used in the treatment of anti-social diseases.

600W PSU - Where 'paddles', highly charged with electricity, are used in conjunction with Purple Stinging Unction ... limited to cases of severe infection only.

600W PSU (Addendum I) - The only reported side effect of this procedure is that the treated area/appendage may glow brightly, with a gentle purple candescence, for a period of at least six weeks.

600W PSU (Addendum II) - A surprising number of positive reactions to the previously documented side effect have been received, particularly from PC Gamers who like to play naked, with all the lights turned off ... they say that it makes it much easier to see the keyboard.

PSU Fan - An portable appliance, which may be used to give some temporary relief from the severe burning/stinging sensation experienced after application of the aforementioned Unction.

Hardcore Gamer - Anyone who actually went out and bought a copy of Virtually Jenna.

Think I'm keeping within the limits ... if not ...

Richie.

Ok,thanx dj for the explanation.By the way,Richie...pure genius!!Loved the last lot!Have to admit I'm struggling now.....but I'll be back!!

Clarification:

DJ: U didnt piss me off m8, but the reference to recreational pastimes in Hamster...Dam (BTW its a city not a country and very nice for window shopping it is too ) was too specific. Thanks for the summary of the "rules" i will give a little more detail here

Ellie: As a now regular poster, unless you significantly break the published local rules or the Terms Of Usethe worst that will happen is like DJ your post will be edited, or you may unlike DJ also recieve a warning about future conduct.

As a guideline most "offenses" result in a warning, which if unheaded will result in a 1 week suspension. Repeat offenders get a 1 month ban. 3rd conviction is a permanent ban including your IP adddress. There are exceptions to this and as an example abuse of a moderator or the posting of links to multiplayer cheats are "go directly to jail, do not pass go and hand in your M4 on the way" offenses.

None of this is foolproof. If you are suspended you can open another account. This action will see both accounts permanently banned.
Also the moderator might forget to lift the suspension... We dont (always) do this deliberately (honestly) and in such circumstances a second account to remind us would not be punished! lol

Sometimes we get people who dont get the message that they are not welcome... It gives me great pleasure to know that the time they spend masking their IP address and reregistering is undone in three mouse clicks

Of course if you feel that the moderators have treated you unfairly you can complain to Ubisfot in general or specifically, this boards Community managers: Longpants, Geiger and Monkeyhat.

The limiting of lewd comments comes from the fact that while the game has a minimum user age, the forum doesnt...

We try and keep this board a fun place to come, but there are stricter limits than you would find on for instance a Clan forum...

Ritchie: Just... as brilliant as they are, they are sailing close to the edge of the map... After all I have a 600W PSU...

Hope that lot helps now on with the fun...

Ok,thanks very much for taking the time to explain that to me...just didn't want to get into any bother!!I know this is now going off off topic(!!)..but when I went to the bit with the rules I read something about flaming.What is this?(or should I go to another part of the forums to ask this?)

Hey, Cuz ...you had me worried there for a second ...

Reading through your post very quickly, I at first thought you said; "After all I have had 600W PSU", rather than actually saying; "... I have a 600W PSU" ..... I would have hated to be the one to bring back painful memories.

Hmmm ... think it may be prudent to give the next batch of definitions a second look before the next posting.

Richie.

@Ellie: if ever in doubt as to what the heck the latest 1337 speak means, I always refer here:

www.urbandictionary.com

@Richie: LMAO... no thankfully I have never had one of them, but my Enermax is the dogs genitailia

@DJ: OMG.. I missed the soyderrrrrrrrs bit till now!!

OFF TOPIC: Not really liking the Hazelnut and Chocolate candy bar

Trolling: The night club is about to close and you havent met that special soemone yet

Spam: What happens to the bits of pork that dont get a danish stamp on them...

www.Farcry-Spam.com: Where a dyslexic gamer downloads their maps from.

NEWS FLASH:

Enermax - A cream preparation, considered by many to be just as effective as Purple Stinging Unction in the treatment of certain 'personal' conditions, has the added bonus of being much less painful to use ... one of its many fans, a Mr. C. L. Stand, (known by some as 'Cuz'), gives it top marks in a recent public forum statement.

Enermax (Addendum I) - Although specifically designed for use in the treatment of human conditions, Mr. Stand - in the same statement - appears to suggest that this cream is also effective in the treatment of problems related to canine genitallia.

(It must be hoped that no animal was injured during the tests on which this suggestion is based.)

Remember ... you saw it here first,

Richie.

OMG u sick puppy! lol

Party Foul: A Sociable Chicken... yup im struggling now...

NEWS FLASH UPDATE !!!

Enermax - Mr. C. L. Stand has now publically admitted that his reckless use of Enermax cream to treat his faithful canine companion has resulted in the puppy becoming sick !!!

An Animal Walfare spokesperson is quoted as saying; "We are very concerned at this sad and distressing news."

Richie.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Richie_B43,

^^

Post Count: Tally of the number of pieces of wood in the ground, note this should only go up the longer you spend counting...

Spyware: - A range of stylish handmade clothing, produced in Saville Row, London, for the exclusive use of elite Secret Service Agents, such as James Bond.

Anti-Spyware: - Part of the Spyware Range of clothing, specially designed for the more-mature female Secret Service Agents, whose brothers and/or sisters have children.

Anti-Popup: - A range of men's underwear and swimwear, of extremely robust construction ... for those with poor self-control, to avoid causing embar***ment in mixed company.

Newegg: - A reproductive cell, encased in a hard protective shell and still warm to the touch, having just fallen from a hen's bum.

IP: - The most common answer given when Gamers were asked the question; "What is the first thing you do after playing Far Cry Multiplayer for six hours straight, without a break?"

Firefox: - An extremely attractive and alluring female, who has an unfortunate tendancy to burst into flames upon reaching orgasm.

Firewire: - A painful injury ... generally the result of having a physical relationship with a Firefox.

Firewire (II): - Similar levels of damage and discomfort can be caused by mountain-biking long distances over rough terrain whilst wearing unpadded skin-tight Lycra shorts.

Sound Blaster: - An extremely loud, prolonged and often evil-smelling form of flatulance.

On that happy note, (F# I think..), this latest offering ends,

Richie.

Oh dear, I seem to have annoyed the language filter ... in the middle of a word!

Cl*** (C.l.a.s.s.) - A word that apparently is profane.
ie: Oh noes, I said cl***!!! I will be teh banned!

M***achussets - A place so evil it cannot be mentioned properly here.

Sidenote: I LOVE the Ubi filter!

Thanks for the tip cuZ!! By the way,Richie... .Unbelievable!!

Ah
Ellie again tries to get in the last word. Now, moving on back to Far Cry terminology;

Val: I'm guessing her full name is 'Valerie", which is the plural of "Valium", which is what I need when she blows my cover yelling :"Over there" "...these guys are good.."

Doyle: (noun) A larger 'doily', a dainty napkin, which is what he is at the end..(oh please don't hurt me!)

Trigen: (compound abbr.) meaning 'three gender':

"it" obvious, since it is naked and there doesn't appear to be any gender defining parts

"man" because it does stupid things before thinking

"female" because it reminds me of my wife and daughter every 28 days....