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Episode 11
============= A new friend ============= In the field: Ferago: OK Ravior, it's time to learn how to run at the speed of sound! Ravior: Really? That's sounds cool! Ferago: Glad you're excited, cause it's going to take a lot of hard work. Ravior: ....  Ferago: Oh come on! It's not that hard! All you have to do is extreme leg exercises! Ravior: I can't, my legs hurt too much from the morning laps. Ferago: Morning laps? Ravior, I was joking about that! Ravior: Are you....are you serious? Ferago: Um.....yeah! Of course! Why would I want you to run 400 laps around my house? Ravior: Well knowi.......what are looking at? Ferago: Ty-Ty-Ty Ravior: SPIT IT OUT ALREADY! Ferago: TYRONG! Ravior: Hehe, you're funny. Ferago: NO REALLY! LOOK BEHIND YOU! Ravior: *Turns around* AHH! A group of Tyrongs were heading towards them. Tyrongs were huge, massive, and vicious creatures, that destroyed everything in it's way. Ferago: Ravior! run to the house, I'll take care of them! Ravior: But they'll kill you! Ferago: I think I can take care of them! Ravior ran to the house as quickly as he could. He watched Ferago fend off the Tyrongs, and it didn't take long for the Tyrongs to get the better of him. Soon, Ferago took a terrible beating, and Ravior couldn't watch anymore, so he ran out to the Tyrongs, hoping to defeat them. Ravior: Hey ya stupid Tyrongs! Leave him alone! Ferago: No Ravior! You're not strong enough! Ravior: I can't just let them kill you! Ravior jumped up to attack one of the Tyrong's faces', but......the Tyrong grabbed Ravior, and threw him, with great force. A throw like that could send a person at least 5 miles, and that's exactly what it did to Ravior. Ravior: AHHHHHHHH!!!! He flew for at least an hour, and in the middle of that, he went unconscious. He landed next to a deep pond. The collision woke him up from his unconsciousness. Ravior: AH! Whe-whe-where am I!? After coming to his senses, Ravior went to the pond to wet his face, and after he was done, he noticed something in the water; a person. And that person, was unconsciousness and drowning. Ravior, being the nice kid he was, jumped into the water, and swam down to the drowning person, grabbed and swam up to the surface, and got the person onto dry land. And Ravior was able to see the person clearly for the first time, it was a girl. He soon got on top her and did CPR. After a few breaths of air were breathed into her, she suddenly awoke. Ravior: Are....are you ok? Faer: .......! Ravior: Are you ok? Faer: *suddenly wakes up* AH! GET OFF OF ME YOU PERVERT!! Ravior: Pervert?! I just saved your life! Faer: Whatever. Ravior: (My, she certainly is appreciative.) Faer: *walks away* Ravior: Hey! Where are you going? Faer: None of your business! ........AHH! Faer was suddenly attacked by a giant snake. Ravior: Don't worry! I'll help you! Ravior jumped to the snake and punched it right in the jaw, scaring it away. Ravior: Are you ok? Faer: Um...yeah. Suddenly a big aircraft appeared in the sky. It flew until the pilot spotted an open space, and landed. A platform ascended to the ground, then a limbless boy with green hair ran out, and towards Faer. Sunev: Miss Faer! Are you OK? Faer: Yeah I'm fine. Sunev: *looks at Ravior* and who are you? Ravior: Um, I'm Ravior Dark. Nice to meet y- Sunev: Yeah whatever. Faer, come on, we have to get out of here! Faer: Why? Sunev: Our scanners show that a bomb is about to explode! Faer: A bomb?! Sunev: Yes, it was planted by the Xian forces just a little while ago, so if we leave now, not only will we not get blown up, we can catch up with them! Faer: Got it! Let's go! Ravior: Um....you're just going to leave me here?! Faer: Of course not! Sunev: But, miss! He might be part of the Xian forces! Ravior: What?! No I'm not! I don't even know who they are! Faer: We can't just leave him here. Sunev: But miss! Faer: Were bringing him! He saved my life twice! It's the least I can do! Sunev: .....fine. Come on board Ravioli. Ravior: It's Ravior. Sunev: Whatever. The three ran up the landing platform, and soon the ship set off. The ship was at high altitude in a matter of seconds. Ravior looked out the window, and saw the explosion. They just missed it. To be continued…. ________________________________ Yeah, you can tell I suck at story telling. I can picture it all in my head, but I cant really explain it very well. Could some one who is good at writing give me some advice? This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mr.Dark, |
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ravioli
 advice? try reading something for inspiration. Still lurking, may post occasionally. Don't hold your breath though... click this link to the pirate community! http://www.raymanpc.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=70 |
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I'll try that, and hopefully I won't make it seem like I'm stealing. But what I need to learn is how to make things more like how things are in a book. Being more descriptive. Cause you have to admit this story isn't very believable, is quite lazy, and is a little hard to follow. Plus, stories that go like this: Name: Message Name: Message Never really seem professional. If only I was an artist that was good at making flash films. |
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Very nice. I wish i was Ravior dark.
 __________________________ Mr.dark is a simple "Mr Dark" member just like myself. Try not to get confused with my username.Anyway, my friend dark Rayman is here!  |
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Episode 12
================= The Nova Squadron =================  : Phew, that was close.On the other side of the room.....  : Um.....who's that? : Some person Faer insisted we bring aboard. : Hm.....I sense something in him.....something dangerous.  : HA! I knew it! He is evil! : No, no, no. He's not evil I think...... : Hm? : I don't know.....I just sense something....like......I don't know.Faer comes in on the conversation....  : What are you two blabbering about?  : Eporue senses something evil about that heathen you brought on board. I think we should ditch him! : I think that would be a good idea. : Oh what do you know! He saved my life twice! : Maybe that was just to earn our trust, so that he could attack us! : Oh shut up! Faer walked over to Ravior.  : So Ravior, tell me about yourself.Sunev yelled "Are you evil?" on the other side of the room. : *turns her head towards Sunev* I told you to shut up!......anyways......tell me about yourself Ravior. Where's your family? : Um....I don't want to talk about it........Ecaep walks into the room.  : Oh! Who's that?! : Don't go near him. : Why not?  : Because I said so..... : ok..... : Well, let me introduce you to my Squadron: That guy in the yellow clothing is Eporue- : Hello. : that guy with green hair is Sunev- : ....... : and that little girl is Ecaep. : Hi stranger! : and I'm Faer. : Nice to meet you all! : *runs over to Ravior* Save it, mister! We know you're evil! : This again?! : Just say it already! You're part of the Xian forces! : Look, buddy, I already told you! I'm not part of the Xian forces! I've never even heard of them before! : Never heard of the Xian forces? Impossible. They've done evil things that would cause everyone to know them world wide. You would have to have lived in Welfort for all your life to not know who they are. : .......Ravior looked down.....a tear fell from one of his eyes.  : Hm? What's wrong Ravior? : .......I-An alarm went off suddenly. : What's wrong? Sunev ran over to the control console of the ship, and looked at the scanner. : It appears something is terrorizing the people of the Eraser Plains. : What's terrorizing them? : Not sure, there isn't any data on the creature. : Whatever. Let's get down there, transform everyone!Faer, Sunev, and Eporue started floating, and turned into to shining lights, that were changing form.  : What the? The light that they were faded, and what they were transforming into was visible. : What....what are you guys?The three of them looked completely different, like they transformed into super forms.  : We'll explain latter, let's go tea- : But what about Ecaep? Who will look out for her? : Ravior will. : Oh nononononononono! Not gonna happen! He might kill her- : SUNEV! : ......OK, fine. But still. : Still nothing, now let's go! : *turns toward Ecaep* Ecaep, if he does anything suspicious, run under your bed! : But- : No buts! : ok.....The hatch on the floor opened, and the three flew out. To be continued.... This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mr.Dark, |
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I can't wait for more!
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I would appriciate if there were some "happened in previous episodes" thing for those of us who don't know who all these characters are. Now the story just seems...surreal.
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ravior: mr dark as a kid. family killed by monsters. then he met...
ferago: magical guy. he's teaching dark how to use magic. others: they're all new, so don't worry. Still lurking, may post occasionally. Don't hold your breath though... click this link to the pirate community! http://www.raymanpc.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=70 |
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Don't worry, I'll try to post all of the previous episodes soon. If the person that said he was going to PM them will do it.
Season 1-2 Theme song BE SURE TO LISTEN TO THIS!!!!! |
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Episode 13
======== Eh? ======== Ravior watched in amazement as the three flew out of the hatch, and watched them fly down to the Eraser Plains. It was like watching multi-colored bullets fly through the air. Ravior: ....woh..... Ecaep: Pretty cool, isn't it? Ravior: Um....yeah.... Ecaep: .....you're not evil..... Ravior: Well I'm glad you know, too bad your brother doesn't think so. Ecaep: Who? Sunev? He isn't my brother. Ravior: Then why does he tell you what to do? Ecaep: Cause he's older. Ravior: That's no reaso- Ecaep: He's the only one who would take me! So I listen to him! Ravior: ......sorry..... Ecaep: Nono, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of flipped out like that. Ravior: .... Meanwhile on the Eraser Plains...... Faer, Sunev, and Eporue were flying close to the ground at a high speed, trying to find the monster. Faer: Any readings yet? Sunev: Yeah, he's close. Faer: How close? Sunev: Approximately 40 miles. Faer: Then let's speed up. Sunev, Eporue: Yes ma'am! The three sped up at about 40 mph, pretty much means they were going at the speed of sound. It didn't take long for them to find the creature. It was a Stred. Eporue: A Stred! Faer: Stred?! Sunev: ****! The three stopped flying, and landed only a few yards behind the Stred. The three started charging their blasters. Faer: OK.....3....2....1...fi- The Stred noticed them, and turned his head. The shots that came from the three of them hit the Stred right in the face. The Stred howled in pain, covering his face with his hands. When he removed his hands, you can just tell he was pissed. He started running towards Faer at an unavoidable speed. Faer: Oh shi- AHHHHH!!!!!! The Stred grabbed her furiously, and ran towards where a cliff was. When the Nova Squadron ship reached where they were..... Ravior: A....a Stred!!!!! Ecaep: And he has Faer too! Ravior clenched his fists, with an angry face. He tore the bottom hatch, and ripped open. Eceap: Whe-where are you going?! Ravior didn't respond, he just jumped out the of the ship. All of a sudden, in mid-air, the same thing that happened to the other three, started happening to Ravior. He started glowing, and his shape started changing.... To be continued..... ___________ OK, why the heck was the word "C R A P" sensord? |
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Episode 14
================== The Stred is dead! ================== Ravior: EHAHHHHHHH!!!!!! The light that Ravior was, faded, revealing his transformation, his Super Form. Faer: *looks up at Ravior* Hm? The Stred turned around, facing Ravior, who was floating in mid-air. Ravior: Let her go, now! The Stred jumped towards Ravior, but..... Ravior: EHNAHHHHHH!!!!!! Ravior dashed right through the Stred's stomach, leaving a big hole in it. The Stred dropped Faer right in mid-air. But there was no need to worry, Ravior flew down to catch Faer. Ravior: Are you OK? Faer: ......yeah....I'm fine.....but how? Ravior descended to the ground, and put Faer down. Ravior: You stay here, I'll take care of the Stred. Eporue: But you just left a big hole in his stomach, he's dead. Ravior: I wouldn't be too sure about that, look. Ravior pointed at the Stred. The Stred was still in mid-air. Faer: I'm assuming that isn't normal. Ravior: Nope......wha?! Sunev: What the heck? The hole in it's stomach...it's- Eporue: -filling up! Ravior: Don't worry! Like I said, I'll take care of him! Ravior flew up to the Stred, ready to battle it. Faer: What do you think you're doing?! You cant take on something like that! Ravior: Sure I can, just watch! The Stred, who was still floating in mid-air, and completely healed, turned towards Ravior, and made a smirk. Ravior: What's so funny? Stred: Hehe, you're from that city we attacked, guess we didn't eliminate all you after all. Hehe, I guess I'll fix that. I'll kill you just like we killed your mother. Ravior: grrrrr AH! SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!! Ravior charged towards the Stred at a very fast speed, he was almost unseable. Stred: Bring it o-AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Ravior charged right through his stomach again, but this time, he tore his arms and legs off. Stred: Bu-but how?! Such power! An at such a fast speed! Ravior: It's time for you to burn in hell for eternity, prick! The Stred blew up. The other three were surprised by what they saw. Faer: ......Ravior...... Ravior descended to the ground, then fell from exhaustion. He changed back to his normal form. Faer: Ravior! Are you OK? Ravior: Yeah....I'm fi- ehh..... Faer: Ravior?…… RAVIOR!! He didn't respond. Faer: We need to get him to the Great Nova's Hospital! RIGHT NOW!! Eporue: Um, yeah, of course, Miss. The three carried him up to the Great Nova, and got him to the Hospital room immediately. Once they got him there, he slept in one of the beds, recovering from what he just did. To be continued.... |
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*content removed. Please don't bypass the language-filter* is apparently a bad word.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Limely, Still lurking, may post occasionally. Don't hold your breath though... click this link to the pirate community! http://www.raymanpc.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=70 |
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i was just explaining it to mr dark.  Still lurking, may post occasionally. Don't hold your breath though... click this link to the pirate community! http://www.raymanpc.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=70 |
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Rayman Moderator |
Lol, don't double post. : P
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So let me get this straight:
The word "ass" isn't censord, but the word that starts with "c", ends with a "p", seconed letter is "r", and the third letter is "a", is censord? THAT DOES NOT PLEASE MR. DARK!!!!!! (talking in the 3rd person is fun  )
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Rayman Moderator |
If ass was censored, then lots of other words would be censored with it. It'd be impossible to write words such as... asses, for example. Or class, or bass...
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ass is the word for a donkey anyway. the correct word for a person's rear end is arse.
Still lurking, may post occasionally. Don't hold your breath though... click this link to the pirate community! http://www.raymanpc.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=70 |
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: *sigh*.....I hope he's alright...
: ....it is a little....
: No problem! Anyone would of done that.
: So, Etah.....was the Stred taken care of?