aww... I thought it was a real tester... but that thing that popped up just made me laugh XD

Did you have the sound turned on?

A young monk arrives at the monastery.He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices,however,that all of the monks are copying from copies,not from the original manuscript.So,the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this,pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy,it would never be picked up!In fact,that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk,says:"We have been copying from the copies for centuries,but you make a good point,my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasnt been opened for hundreds of years.Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So,the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing:"We missed the "R"!We missed the "R"!"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.The young monk asks the old abbot:"What's wrong,father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies:"The word was...CELEB R ATE!!!"

Ummh, I have no sense of humor...
"Together,we go to get her."

No offence to the believers, but I find this one funny^^

After his death, a man comes to hell.
Against his expectation he finds a beautiful beach with lots of people who are having a party and a fun time.
In one corner he finds a black hole with flames and screams coming out of it. He askes the devil what it's for.
And the Devil answeres:
Thats for the christians, they don't want it any other way.




BTW, I german, sorry for the bad written english, but I didn't write in english for a long time. (and I hope I got the translation right )

Here some jokes to cheer up the day (cause it is just too lame until now)

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied:
"I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news".
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies: "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?".
The doctor replies:
"I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says:
"That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her:
"The driver just insulted me!"
The man says:
"You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says:
"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies:
"Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off:
"Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says:
"Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight...."

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say:
"That's not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said:
"That's it."

And, for last but not least, the best of best, Top Top, Number 1# joke:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, scientists spent a decade and 12 billion dollars to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.

PS: BTW, I'm still writing, it is just that this next will take some time. Much work that summed up. And I'm working on other things... including... drawing some of the characters. (So far only Endithier is half done, damn, I take too long... 2 mins at time is just not enough...)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SandroTheMaster,

Nuf said!

This is one that popped up on my guild forum for Guild Wars:

Tommy is a man who's always at work and does'nt see his wife much, but then one day Tommy dies and goes to heaven, when he walks around he sees
like a million clocks hanging everywhere. Tommy doesn't understand, so he asks
around. Somebody says the following: These are the clocks of the people who are still alive down there, and when somebody has sex the clock moves one "tick" further. Tommy gets it and he starts looking around, after an hour of looking around he goes back to the man and tells him that he can't find the clock of his wife. The man asks the wifes name. Tommy says it's sandy. Then the man laughs. Tommy asks: why are you laughing? The man says: Sandy's clock is hanging in the kitchen, we use it as a Fan!

The best Faroese commercial ever

quote:

Originally posted by GrimReaper84_AU:
This is one that popped up on my guild forum for Guild Wars:

Tommy is a man who's always at work and does'nt see his wife much, but then one day Tommy dies and goes to heaven, when he walks around he sees
like a million clocks hanging everywhere. Tommy doesn't understand, so he asks
around. Somebody says the following: These are the clocks of the people who are still alive down there, and when somebody has sex the clock moves one "tick" further. Tommy gets it and he starts looking around, after an hour of looking around he goes back to the man and tells him that he can't find the clock of his wife. The man asks the wifes name. Tommy says it's sandy. Then the man laughs. Tommy asks: why are you laughing? The man says: Sandy's clock is hanging in the kitchen, we use it as a Fan!

There's a similar joke in my country, but the clocks tick every time the person still alive tell a lie, and the man (St. Peter) used our Ex-President's clock (Fernando Henrique Cardoso) as a fan in his office.

Ok, this next joke is a bit long, but it's too damn funny. In a (undetermined) communist country, there was a pro-natality campaign. In need of labor power, the govern decreted a law that obliged couples to have a certain number of children, and also a schedule of 5 years for the first child. To the couples that didn't manage to do so, the govern would send an "Assisting Agent" to help out.
Then, this is the dialogue between a certain couple:
- Darling, we finish, today, 5 years of marriage.
- Dah (I mean, yes ), unfortunatally, we don't have a child yet.
- Do you think they will send that so called "Assisting Agent"?
- Maybe, I fear so.
- And if he comes?
- Well, there's nothing I can really do about it.
- Me the least.
- I'm out, I'm late for work already.
Just after the leaving of the husband, the bell sings. The wife runs to open and find a man in her door. It was a photographer, who missed the right address.
- Good morning, I'm...
- I know, I know... - She interrupted, nervous.- You can come in.
- Your husband is in home?
- No, he went to work.
- I assume he is aware of my presence here?
- Yes, he is aware.
- Great! Shall we begin?
- Already? So fast?
- I need to be brief. I have sixteen couples to visit just today.
- Good Lord! You can handle it?
- Yes, because I love my work. It gives me much satisfaction.
- Right, may we begin? How will we do it?
- Allow me to sugest. One shot in the bedroom, two in the carpet, two in the sofa, one in the hall and one in the bathroom?
- Holy Mother! Aren't you exagerating?
- Well, sometimes I can get it right in the first try, but it's unlikely.
- Have you visited other houses in this neighborhood?
- No, but I have some samples of my work. - Say the photographer, showing the pictures of some kids. - Aren't they pretty?
- How they are pretty! You made them yourself?
- Yes. This one, for example - he shows a picture - was done in the entrance of a market.
- Oh, my! Don't you think it's too much public?
- Yes, but her mother was an actress, she wanted the publicity.
- I wouldn't have the guts to do it.
- This one was on a bus.
- Mother!
- It was one of my hardests jobs.
- I figure!
- This one was in a park. In the middle of the winter.
- Jesus! How do you did it?
- Not easily. Besides the snow, there was a crowd around us. Almost didn't finished it.
- It's good that I'm shy. I don't want anybody looking.
- Great, I'd rather that way too. Now, excuse me, but I will arm the tripod.
- Tripod for what?
- It is needed, madam. My equipment, besides heavy, when ready is a metre long.
The woman passed out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtW9SDW4iug&mode=related&search=
Not quite a joke but you'll laugh your a55 of, even if you're not familiar with naruto. V (^o^) V

I've seem this video before, the thing is that this "real ninjas" thing goes up to episode 9 now, I think. But only this first is really funny, the others are just strange (specially because they were made by 9-13 years old...)

I was thrilled to know that Naruto was going to get to my country. But the excitment didn't last. They are delaying it for some "editing", and by editing they mean cutting everything that's "unappropriate"... that's from the FCC censored USA version! Really, how could they censore even more something that was censored by the USA?

Simple, they cut out the ending, the begining and everything in between.
P.S. It hasn't gotten to my country either, not even on cartoon network or the only anime dedicated channel in the country. Everything I know about Naruto if from the net, and I'm a fan allready.

quote:

One evening a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar in order to catch potential drunk drivers. At closing time, he saw a man come stumbling out of the bar, sway across the street and try his keys on five different cars before he found his own. He sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off.

Finally the man started his engine and began to drive off. The police officer, waiting for the man the whole time, stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how this was possible. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Rather likes that one.

That`s a good one Grim, I like it.

old joke from grand times, not that good like these moderns are but still ( it's like a joke from a countryside )

Two neighbours are talking, one says;
- Tell me, does your cow smoke?
- Nop.
- That means your cote is burning..

edity; okay i know it's not funny.. cries

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tadaeusas,

It's funny, it's just not great. Giving a presentation to a ordinary joke like this is what cut's the interest.


Here's one:

A priest goes to a tailor and order a cassock. When he goes back to get it, he asks:
- How much I owe you?
- Nothing father, I don't charge religious mans.
- God bless you son.
The next day, the priest sent a cross to the tailor.
Other day, an evangelic preacher gets the same answer from him. And sent the tailor a bible.
One day, a rabbin makes an order from the tailor.
- How much do I owe you?
- I don't charge from religious mans.
- Oh really?
The next day, the rabbin sent the tailor another rabbin.

(Don't get personal an ethic/religius joke, they're just jokes and I mess up with everyone, christians and jews alike, americans and brazilians alike)

Although I doubt the validity of it it's still a good laugh.

OK, here's a joke.

A man was sat at a table with a glass of wine. But the glass of wine had a severed hand in it, so the man looked into the glass and said: "I like wine with a bit of body but this is ridiculous!"

And a quote from Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc - "They're shooting at us, how original of them."