^ Is a master in the deadly and ancient oriental art of Calligraphy.
< Does indeed like to watch people in traffic. And giggle. But never both at once. Okay, sometimes both at once.
v Has never ever said a swear word after being tricked by a horse to buy a fake gold mine.

^ is sadly wrong cause that situation came this very morning
< is feeling frickin whimsical
V is feeling it too

^ was tricked by a horse.
< feeling more determined than whimsical.
v likes to have his/her cake and eat it too!

^ is determined not to be whimsical
< would never be tempted to eat cake and have it too
v once punched a cow for "looking at me funny"

^ O_o
< Once petted a cow and became its best friend until the farmer sold it to be butchered and turned into a burger. Still eats burgers to this day.
v Never had a buddy that's made of beef.

^ ate his best friend!
< has been followed by a herd of cattle and some horses; also wonders what O_o is meant to be
v idolizes Bugs Bunny

^ o_O is wide eyes of wonder/amusement/bemusement/surprise...etc.
< actually idolizes the Roadrunner. To be able to defeat the coyote all the time like that...
v Would you kindly...bring me cake?

^ Needs to curb her sweet tooth
< is svelte and petite
V wishes they looked this good as SailorMoon

^ seems fixated on Sailor Moon
< has had a famous actor (and old friend of my uncle) play someone with my name!
v can dance the Viennese Waltz

^ should probably indulge in the delights of Sailor Moon. Then he'll know. Oh, he will know!
< can't even do the stupid electric slide, much less the Viennese Waltz...
v can crunk with the best of them.

^ owns a pair of tapshoes, despite the lack in dance coordination
< crunks 2-4 hours per day, except thursdays
v wants me to bear their children

^ Hates babies

< Is fine without children, thanks

V Is the Messer

^ has an avatar that reminds me of some human-fly hybrid, like that guy in the TMHT cartoon
< would maybe say I'm the chief Messer if I knew what it was
v has never, ever used sarcasm

^ LMAO
< LMAO
v LMAO

(Sarcasm? Pshaw...)

^roflmao

< bumped this thread from the grave cause she started it on another forum

V says "wtf i don't know what's going on"

^ totally agrees

<clueless

V Smells like to smell used shoes

^ Smells like jellyfish anus :P

< Superslick

V likes to touch animals in the wild

^ Superslickness is caused by overuse of KY.

< Has an extensive knowledge of bananas... more than is safe.

V Can't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, especially if that hole has a dead prairie dog in it.

^ No such thing as an overuse of KY. Only underuse

< Wonderboy

V Severely underestimates me.

^ Is correct about the severe underestimation

< Requires a huge dose of concentrated caffeine

V Does not require caffeine