heyy, i was on chaos theory 2 moments ago, and i really laughed wen a guard was convinced i was a ninja. apparantly it would be 'cool' to be killed by a ninja. lol so i thought i would ask you all for your favourite splinter cell lines. i dont know if there is already a discussion on this. if there is, let me know and i will join that. thanx.

There have been threads regarding this topic, and a search would have found them for you.

That said, yes, the Hokkaido mission conversation is one of my favorites:

Sounds: Chirp, Chirp
Guard 1: God, this squeakin' is drivin' me crazy! Sounds like I'm walking on a family of parakeets.
Guard 2: Nightingales, it's called a nightingale floor. Protection against Ninjas.
Guard 1: Ninjas! There's no such thing as Ninjas.
Guard 2: Oh yeah? Back in 2004, that thing in Georgia, I had a contract to help secure this oil rig. We got attacked by a Ninja.
Guard 1: You're crazy!
Guard 2: Tell you what, you don't believe me? Why don't we trade places and I'll patrol where the anit-ninja floor is.
Guard 2: Fine, I'll go guard your post.
Guard 1: Deal!
Guard 2: Hee, hee, hee watch out for Ninjas (sarcastically). Sucker.
Guard 1: They're listening!

Then grab and interrogate the guard that enters:

Sam: Bad news.
Guard: I knew it! I knew there were Ninjas here.
Sam: What?
Guard: You must be a Ninja, how else could you sneak up and grab me like that.
Sam: Listen, I don't know what... (laughter in voice)
Guard: Wow, I can't believe it, a real live Ninja!
Sam: Listen, I'm gonna kill you if...
Guard: Wow, killed by a Ninja, cool!
Guard: If you have to kill me, do it with your blow-pipe? (sounding like a little kid asking "pretty please?")

Front yard of the bank:

Guard 1: Hey... Amilio?
Guard 2: Yes, what is it?
Guard 1: I heard they have new motion sensing lights installed. When you move in front of them, they magically light up.
Guard 2: Really? That's amazing!
Guard 1: Yeah, I know!
Guard 2: I have to get me one of those for my garage, imagine, when I pull over on the driveway the lights will automatically turn on.
Guard 1: Don't be crazy Amilion, this is high tech stuff you know? It costs thousands of dollars.
Guard 2: You're right, I probably couldn't afford it.