My freeloading younger brother came back from Greece a couple of years ago.He was working there,but decided drinking was more fun,lost his job,and I had to pay his airfare home.He ended up living with us rent free for a couple of months.When I realised he was making absolutely no effort to sort himself out,I threw him out on the street.
It was Christmas Eve!
Since then he has got himself a decent job,and somewhere to live,and now pays his own way.Tough love!

Hopefully you can convince your family to develop a plan for this guy. Apply for X jobs a week and have a good job by a certain date. If he misses the targets, out he goes.

Hmmm... I've been a son, now I'm a father. I was lucky in that I had a full time dad. Drunkard, gambler and part time hellraiser, sometimes, but full time dad always. His way was make it so friggin hard on you that you couldn't effin' wait to get out from under his roof so you could breathe free!!!! Now this required a LOT of diligence on his part and it worked, partially... I left at 17 and only came back for love and baseball, my older brother Charles, never left. In fact the ole man left the apartment and left my brother there.

But Charles, though quite different from me as far as education was concerned, was not lazy. He worked almost until the day cancer took him at the age of 44. Dad said "you can live here muthaf***er but living ain't free out there and damn sure ain't free in here. Rents due at the first of the month."

Worf

Updated in original post.

quote:

Originally posted by Choctaw111:
Updated in original post.

ROLF. That's it. I'm out. LOL

Just the image of you standing over him while he's in the 'thinking position' would have me looking for a job in five minutes. As a matter of fact I'd probably say:

"DO YOU HAVE A NEWPAPER, SIR??!!!"

quote:

Originally posted by knightflyte:

quote:

Originally posted by Choctaw111:
Updated in original post.

ROLF. That's it. I'm out. LOL

Just the image of you standing over him while he's in the 'thinking position' would have me looking for a job in five minutes. As a matter of fact I'd probably say:

"DO YOU HAVE A NEWPAPER, SIR??!!!"

Good job Choctaw

I'm right up here in Allentown if you need any help, Choctaw....

If you really are going to do this, you'd better see it through to the end. Just humiliating and intimidating the guy before writing him off as too hard won't help him and won't do much for you either. I hope you have the commitment and wisdom to see it through. It is a very big task, and is a card that can only be played once. Good luck!

Good luck, Choc. I hope he gets the message and how it is in his best interest, really.

Just read update... Out G'dam standing!!!! I salute you!!!

Worf

Take him on a roadtrip, get him about 100 miles from home, open the door and tell him times up, and boot the lazy git out........

I came out the RAF and had a months resettlement holiday, I was determined to have it off, (still being paid) was at home over Christmas with my MUM and all she did for the month was winge, what are you gonna do?, when are you gonna find a job? etc.....

I knew that I was a Highly skilled Aircraft Engineer LOL and a job would be nooo problem when the time was right, Twas a Friday and I got the "your month is up and you have done nothing speech"........ I walked out of the house, across the road into a phonebox, called an Aircraft Engineering Agency I knew of, walked back across the road into the house and told her I start on Monday..... Her face was a peach

Her face was even better one Christmas when I took a call at home from an Airline asking if I could pop back early from my Holidays to certify the Chairmans aircraft for them, pointing out I was on Christmas Hols it was agreed they would fly a company hack 250 miles to pick me up, fly me there to inspect and certify the Aircraft then fly me back to continue my holiday..... She was gobsmacked that they were sending a plane for little old me

quote:

Originally posted by Taylortony:
Take him on a roadtrip, get him about 100 miles from home, open the door and tell him times up, and boot the lazy git out........

I came out the RAF and had a months resettlement holiday, I was determined to have it off, (still being paid) was at home over Christmas with my MUM and all she did for the month was winge, what are you gonna do?, when are you gonna find a job? etc.....

I knew that I was a Highly skilled Aircraft Engineer LOL and a job would be nooo problem when the time was right, Twas a Friday and I got the "your month is up and you have done nothing speech"........ I walked out of the house, across the road into a phonebox, called an Aircraft Engineering Agency I knew of, walked back across the road into the house and told her I start on Monday..... Her face was a peach

Her face was even better one Christmas when I took a call at home from an Airline asking if I could pop back early from my Holidays to certify the Chairmans aircraft for them, pointing out I was on Christmas Hols it was agreed they would fly a company hack 250 miles to pick me up, fly me there to inspect and certify the Aircraft then fly me back to continue my holiday..... She was gobsmacked that they were sending a plane for little old me

Must be great to be that well respected in your job TT! Something to look up to! More youngsters need to see that as a role model!

Any updates on this, Choctaw?

Ditto, inquiring minds want to know. Unless of course you had to hide the body, then the less said the better .

I have been so frustrated.
Yes, he is still here.
I was just talking to my psychologist about this today, never mind talking about war stuff.
I now have 4 kids in this house, Damian being the oldest at 20. He has the mind of a child.
It has put a great strain on myself and my family to bring a change in him.
It is largely my responsibility and sometimes I am taxed to the limit.
I really don't want to deal with this $h!t, as I have 3 sons whom I have the responsibility of leading in the right direction.
On the other hand, Damian's parents really screwed him up. I won't go into any details but this kid has been through a lot.
I just want to get his mother and step dad in the same room as me, give them each a piece of my mind, and then a piece of my fist.
His real dad did a bit better by him, and I can understand his frustrations with wanting him out of his home.
The bottom line is that it was up to each of his parents to lead him in the right direction, so when he got older, he had the right tools to be a respected and dependable young man, but they failed him.
Now it's my job to do it right, and I don't have much to work with, although he has surprised me in these last 3 weeks, he really has.
I am not sure how long he will be here, and all my wife says is "As long as it takes", which isn't very reassuring to me, as I am doing most of the work with him.
I have been taking advantage of every opportunity to teach him new things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry (my wife helped him with this one), general knowledge (I have him reading through many books). This really takes a toll on all of us.
Believe me when I say that this is a major source of contention in my home right now.