This is a grown man who chooses not to have to support himself. This is not a boy, or a child. I cannot for the life of me understand why would people coddle these 'adult children', who are more than willing to take advantage of someone's good and giving nature, and then probably have no compunction of taking the remainder of what they have. He lives this way because he is allowed to do so.

I have been on my own since I was 16 years old, and I have worked full time from then on. I ordinarily wouldn't have finished high school, but I promised my dad that I would before he passed away. I barely got under the wire in school, but I did manage to graduate. I have absolutely no sympathy for this man who refuses to be a man and carry his own weight.

However, I do have sympathy for you Choctaw, because you have to balance the wishes of your wife with what you know would be the proper solution. It looks like it's going to be a difficult shot, but maybe you can hopefully get through to the guy. If there is no improvement, your wife will eventually see the light because she will get tired of taking care of another 'child'. Then you can throw him and all his junk out the door.

You might think about getting a few of your friends together for a little boxing session somewhere offsite, and make him put the gloves on and go some rounds with everyone.

If anyone can do it Choctaw,you can.Stick to what you know and really push him right to his limits and don't give an inch.Treat him like a new recruit that doesn't know head from his a@$,it's for his own good,and yours.

good luck

I wouldn't even know who my wife's cousins were.

Im 16 and I can admit I have a lot handed to me. But my parents have taught me my values very well and I love them very much for that. I do my work around the house and don't get an allowance. I get all my money from either working somewhere (i dont yet have a job) or volunteering and getting paid by them. So if I want something, I work for it. I honestly would feel embarrassed if I was free loading. It just doesnt feel right. I feel bad at holidays when I get expensive gifts even.

I think that you should find any means to actually "force" him to work. Don't give him your food or any other conveniences. Take this from someone who has had this done to him and it works. You get hungry eventually

Good luck to you Choctaw. I think you seem like a very good person for doing this for your wife.

Choctaw... Well if my wife had asked that of me I would have said this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeMtgntFMT4

quote:

Originally posted by ARCHIE_CALVERT:
Choctaw... Well if my wife had asked that of me I would have said this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeMtgntFMT4

OK. That made me laugh.

Choc,

Have you sat the boss down and had a serious talk on the implications of having a free loading SOB in the house?

By that I mean the repercussions on you and yours if he were to become involved in crime, get into debt while abusing your 'hospitality' etc.

By all accounts he seems (and I cannot say to much as I don't know the yuut) that he is indecertive of many I come across in my line of work, basically the world owes him a living and sod you all.

Stick a tent up in your back garden, tell him its there or no place until he changes his attitude. If he declines show him the front garden and the road, wave him goodbye and then turn around.

This is a very unselfish thing you're doing, I pray it is not wasted.

Well, you've obviously thought long and hard about it. Good luck. Sincerely.

Be hard on him & give him hell choc, i had a similar problem with my little brother a few years ago until i beat the crap out of him & now he works & supports himself , but i know you cant do that in your case m8. Good luck m8.

quote:

Originally posted by buglord:
Be hard on him & give him hell choc, i had a similar problem with my little brother a few years ago until i beat the crap out of him & now he works & supports himself , but i know you cant do that in your case m8. Good luck m8.

Actually, I told my wife that I really would beat of him if he gets that out of hand.
For starters, a little remedial PT, pushups, flutterkicks, etc. will be fine, but some wall to wall counseling might be in order.

So far this morning, he seems to be doing OK.
I woke him up but didn't actually go in. He responded and he wasn't upstairs by the time I was done breakfast, I was going to wake him up in a hurry.
He still wasn't upstairs, I was finished with my breakfast, and had one of my sons grab the camera. We started filming as we made our way downstairs, huge mixing bowl and wooden spoon in hand. Just as we neared the bottom of the stairs, he popped out of his little room and said he was tidying up in there.
"Dang it" was the only thing I had to say as I was really looking forward to startling him half to death.

Unfortunately, there's a 90% chance that you're losing your time. Becoming a responsible person and losing a parasitic attitude is one of those things you have to realize yourself, something that must come from within, once you have to face a crude reality.

If he fails now and he gets his butt on the street, he'll survive. He'll do it the right the way, or the other.

Man, how I hate these social remoras...

And to illustrate this, a sound of an "A-Team" recorder-playing lazy bum being executed by Luke Skywalker.

quote:

Originally posted by DuxCorvan:


And to illustrate this, a sound of an "A-Team" recorder-playing lazy bum being executed by Luke Skywalker.

How do you find stuff like this?

quote:

Originally posted by Choctaw111:

quote:

Originally posted by DuxCorvan:


And to illustrate this, a sound of an "A-Team" recorder-playing lazy bum being executed by Luke Skywalker.

How do you find stuff like this?

Liked a trained hog, I sniff the smelly truffles beneath the dirt.

actually this sounds a lot like me:

i worked two months when i was 20 to buy a bike, in a 16 hour shift

i became alergic to work ever since so i study and teach some english lessons for extra money, im 5 subjects away from getting my second diploma

my folks pay me in exchange for studying 10 euro a day

i suppose when im done studying ill try for a half shift

maybe this could work on that lazy *** like me a half shift, 5 hours of work a day