im begining to accept i can have hallucinations, it gets increased with the use of things like alcohol

they are difficult to caught for example watching f1 i heard the comentator say if he gets caught it kills him, that way out could be his death, but when i realized i was having an hallucination it was when he said something about a deceased person

hey maybe not, thats why hallucination are so difficult to caught

another ones are more obvious, i see an old lady holding something in her raised hand, didnt take much attention but i heard saying in a low voice, i dont understand nothing, but it could have happened really so not very sure again

in fact not ever did i have an hallucination that didnt fall within the posible

in fact thers something odd they often are notice by other people, a girl insulted me an suddenly every body was looking to me, or the day i saw an ufo i heard an odd engine in the street and a guy turned to look at it

but what confuses me the most is my seeing myself arthur c clarck confessing his predation of young boys and find out later this very same video with exactly the same comments had been asked by police and apeear inexistent

but why should i trust media better than what i watched with my very eyes and falls within the posible

if it was an hallucination how could it foreseen what i would just know five years later

well i think of a word 2 seconds before i hear it and that can happen 30 times a day

but on the other hand it was as real as it can get,and it matched quite posibly the true

what if it was real, why i was suposely the only person who has seen this video which even the police couldnt get

comes to my mind the day i saw an ufo and lost time

Hi Raid, I've known a few people with Bipolar with Schizo-affective disorder, the one thing that was common for all of them was that when they were having hallucinations or going through psychosis was that they all felt it was very real for them.

A common symptom was that they thought they could read minds, or know information that no one else could know. One friend thought he knew things about me and my past, none of it was real, he didn't know anything that was true about my past, it was all a product of his illness. Another common symptom was believing that the radio or television was talking directly to them, if they listened to a song it was about them or contained a secret message that only they could understand. What you are describing is not uncommon, the mind tries to make sense of information and fit it in with the hallucinations or psychosis that it is under at the time.

I don't know if anyone can really understand madness when they are going through it, by definition it is a very confusing and often disjointed experience. I guess if you are aware you are having hallucinations, it will help, because you can try to ignore them and not act on the false information your illness is creating in your mind.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, I guess it's that you're not the only person to go through this kind of thing. A while ago you said you'd rather be mad and happy rather than sane and depressed, that hit home for me, I'm Bipolar type 2 which means I don't get psychotic or hallucinations, but get hypo-mania (mild mania), and very deep depressions. I wouldn't say that anyone who is going though a serious case of depression is sane in the classic sense, they have a altered negative outlook on the world, they are still going through madness, but in a different form.

Try and keep on your meds, feeling good but having hallucinations or psychosis might feel better than being depressed but it can have a bad effect on your life, and could lead to all sorts of trouble.

I really hope you can get this under control, I enjoy reading your posts, and really admire how honest you are about having a mental illness.

I was going to send this via private message, but it sort of seems cowardly for me to do that as you are so open about your problems on these boards.

All the best

I think Raaid adds to this forum in a good way. His English is a bit disjointed which makes him sound more daft than he probably is, I think he deals with whatever he has got very well.

Check your PM's please.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Pirschjaeger,

Raaaid,

have you ever tried to express yourself through an artistic approach? I'd be very interested in seeing any artwork you'd produce.

I actually want to apologize for the flippant remark. Raaid if you really do have hallucinations and such, I hope your are getting help from docs, friends, family.

When I was a kid (17-20) I was close to a girl with Schizo-affective disorder, we were in a program together (I had anxiety and depression issues).

As I have continued through the years I have concluded we are all a tad crazy, it's variable by intensity and how well we control it, but we all have something odd going on in our head.

He is getting help Roybaty. The good thing is Raaid seems to be able to recognize the hallucinations for what they are. Although he tends to attach meaning to them.

I got diagnosed with anxiety Roybaty, I havn't been near my doc since though (a year back). I don't trust shrinks....could close all sorts of doors for me I'f they decide I've got something. Made a pact with myself that medical documents wont dictate the direction of my life after I couldnt join the RAF as pilot (eyesight).

Raaaid, I'm going out on a limb here but maybe I have some useful input for you. The human brain is as fascinating to me as are women; of course I take a different approach to each.

But the human brain is not limited to being just a brain. The brain produces something much more fascinating and mysterious than itself; the mind. The brain is a functional structure while the mind is a structural function. It is most likely that your problem is with both your brain and your mind.

Although I rarely answer your threads I do read most, if not all. I've noticed you often have issues with time, whether they be visitors from the future or various forms of de ja vu. This leads me to believe that your main problem (time related) has more to do with your mind than your brain although the brain does have a part to play.

You've often mentioned time travelers interrupting your private life. You've also mentioned seeing things for the first time that you had previous knowledge of, but the origin of the knowledge alludes you. Imagine the function of your brain that relates to time, keeping things in order, was not functioning the way it should be. What would happen is you would learn new information but it would be stored in the wrong slot in your mind's time line. This would make you feel and believe you've already see or done something.

The mind is a powerful thing relative to us (human minds). In fact, the human mind can teach itself something it doesn't know. It can actually control the physical processes of healing itself. But sometimes the mind confuses itself. Imagine once again your function for placing events in your time line is not functioning properly. It puts "b" event before "a" event. Your mind would become confused. Even more interestingly, your mind will create answers to fill in the blanks, such as 'time travelers'. This 'gap patching' function can be seen any time of the day, anywhere. Just look at religion. If we can't find the answers to our world, we'll simply create them.

Now, if this were happening to you, events out of sync with time, your mind would, out of desperation, create inner entities such as time travelers. Because it is your mind creating these to fill the gaps, your mind (you) would be believe. You could hear, see, and interact with those time travelers. Proof of this happening is not so hard to find. For example, don't you find it odd that these time travelers communicate and stalk only you? These are your hallucinations.

Some thing I found interesting in your post:

in fact not ever did i have an hallucination that didnt fall within the posible

Your hallucinations may not fall within the impossible, but you'll have to agree they fall within the extraordinary; otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned or even noticed them.

So, we know the mind is powerful enough to create all your problems. If it is so powerful to do such evils, then it should be just as, or more, powerful to do good things. We already know it can heal and teach itself, the latter being no less than a miracle of nature.

Raaaid, if you can recognize the extraordinary as being hallucinations, then it's just a matter of what you do with them.

Let's imagine these hallucinations are demons. They've come to haunt and upset you. The reason the demons use this method is that they have no other means. They cannot touch you physically. They cannot hit you, or physically hurt you. But these demons want to hurt you. They are very clever. What they'll do is try to upset you. They can create hallucinations. They can make you hear things that you know you didn't hear really.

You may be stuck with these demons the rest of your life. But, although you may not be able to easily make them go away, you can control them. This is what they fear most. They are very weak compared to you and if you realize you have the power to control them, then they lose and you win.

The demons like to shuffle events in your time line. In fact, you know this is what makes you most confused. The way to recognize this is when you hallucinate about time travelers. They are not real and they don't exist, not matter how real the demons make them look and seem. How do we know this? Simple, they are limited to you and that alone speaks volumes. So, when you see a time traveler, simply ignore them. Don't give up, just ignore them as long as it takes. The demons keep trying but eventually they will realize their 'time travelers' just don't work any more and eventually they'll stop trying.

You can do the same with the misplaced events. For example, when you see or hear something, and can remember having see or heard it before, you should know that it is extraordinary and therefore not real. You should know that the demons have messed with your time line. You should know that your memory of that extraordinary event is nothing more than a facade created by the demons to upset and confuse you.

This won't be easy Raaaid as nothing good ever is. It is the difficulty and the challenge that makes it worthwhile and eventually rewarding.

I don't know you personally as we've never met, but you've been writing about your problems for a long time and I've been reading them for just as long. What I've described above is actually plagiarism as I've just rewritten what you've written over the years.

Let me know if any of this makes sense to you.

Fritz

You might be right Pirschy. Interesting post. His brain might be playing a part though. One time I got what I can only describe as a hallucination. Looked like the concrete floor was swirling and moving slowly. Tried to pretend it wasn't real but it took ages to stop. Never happened again though.

However this was straight after a moment of panic. Amazing what adrenalin can do to your senses.

Raaaid have you ever had an MRI or an EEG scan?

The "Gap patching" Pirsch mentioned is a good point.

To this day I still have sleep paralysis from time-to-time, some parts of my brain become conscious, other parts are still asleep. I can't move, see, or think clearly. I hear noises and my brain struggles to interpret them. I often awake in the state of paralysis and am terrified, I believe something is close to me, in my bedroom that is not friendly. One time I thought I was surrounded by a pack of dogs or wolves.

After a while I realize what is happening (other parts of my brain start coming to) and it is a struggle to become conscious, and move.

The point is I guess have have experienced hallucinations, albeit of the auditory kind, but hallucinations none-the-less. So I know first hand that the brain can interpret sensory input incorrectly if this is a physiological problem.

I don't read to much into the experiences; it's just a computer glitch of sorts.

actually my psychiatrist who happens to be my sister told me i dont have schizophrenia

i know for sure when im stoned my mind can twist the sense of the low voices i hear from far but really im not so sure i have visual hallucinations

for example a guy apparently read my mind and suggested me i was lucifers reincarnation, you can guees this affected me, well i consulted it with the chat operator and i explained somebody answered me in the chat before i asked and he pointed me to an antivirus and told me to look for trojans, as he had told i had a trojan

so i have no real prove i have hallucinations

i researched onto hallucination on the net and they were all really weird, somebody reading your mind and telling you you are lucifer is weird but someone monitoring your screen and playing a joke on you is not

as for hearing voices, never ever happened to me well maybe once really stoned i heard a very low whisper but just once in all my life

evrybody in my life think im normal because of course i dont tell these things to my friends, dont you think if i really had hallucinations they would hgave caught me at least once talking with someone invisible or something

now im really well as you see im unsure, if im convinced time travelers are teasing me im nuts and maybe even dangerous, if im convinced timetravel and alike its imposible i would just believe the news and that would take me to suicide

but now im sane i give some posibility of devils and angels leading our lives, i have uncertainty

but what makes me suspicious the most something really weird have happened in the wolrd like an alien massive enlightenement or similar is my watching arthur c clarke 5 years ago, just right before i had my second nervous breakdonw, confessing his crimes, or a tv documental explaining that chicken meat can be any meat due to a product added that turns gene couples from million to just one making it unrecognizable

i wont even bother searching on the net this because i know its inexistent as arthur c ckarke video

CHICKEN ON THE STORE HAS PROTEINS COMPOSE OF JUST ONE GENE PAIR INSTEAD OF MILLIONS

come on this has to be the ufos

as you see is not so much im crazy as its that i live very weird experiences and i pay attention to the details

for example would you take my watching this documental of meat with just unical gene pairs as an hallucination?

ailmail my last medical check i was 12, except for psychiatrist my problem comes from drug abuse probably

Visit a doc then raaaid and check into rehad

Maybe this is rare oportunity to pursue a unique creative ability, you just need to find what it is.

I suppose, for me, artwork is a great way to express emotions that I would never do in reality. Anger, violence, weird ideas, stuff like that. it`s a great stress reliever or outlet, especially if you feel trapped by the modern world.