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Maegnas
02-07-2004, 03:34 AM
Smithsonian Institute
Washington D.C.
Curator of Acquisitions

Firstly, let me thank you for your fascinating donations to our collection. We are known as the nations attic, and your contributions certainly fall into the category of, shall we say, unique artifacts. I apologize for the delay in aknowledging the receipt of your collection, but we routinely examine and appraise all objects we recieve, and yours gave us a certain amount of, well, difficulties.
We have some questions, and to put it bluntly, we are puzzled.

Item 1, Mineral specimens labeled Relto Rocks
Our examination discloses that these are composed entirely of video pixels, in a binary matrix. In other words, they do not really exist, and we would like to know where in heck you got them!

Item 2, Fire Marbles
At first, we assumed these were intensely radioactive, and we simply ran for our lives. But since the overnight cleaning crew emerged unscathed from the room, we finally went back in and took a look. You may be interested to know that the brilliant glow is simply an artists rendition, and frankly, that's all there is to them, nothing but glow! Since these also do not really exist, we cannot add them to our collection either.

Item 3, Maintainers Suit
We didn't know what to make of this thing, but we have decided to keep it for our Halloween party.

Item 4, Fireflies
Our insect specialists have examined these closely, and have determined that they have no eyes, bodies, wings, or for that matter, anything else! Since they cannot be classified, we have decided to forget about them, especially since when we tried to give them a drink of water, they vanished!

Item 5, Book, labeled Eder Gira
Every time one of our experts took this book into the examination room, he didn't come out, and none of them have been seen since. We sent it over to the Library of Congress, but they said they have no use for a book with no words and only one picture, so they threw it out. Sorry.

Item 6, Bracelet, labeled KI
This we found to be extremely interesting, but when we showed it to some buddies at the CIA and claimed we made it ourselves, they took it away from us, claiming national security or something. They got a little mean about it, so we gave them your name and address. I think you may be hearing from them real soon.

Item 7, Carved Column, labeled Bahro Pillar
As soon as he saw it, our expert realized this had to be an Eskimo artifact, and under the law about plundered Indian art, it was sent to Alaska. I hear they chopped it up and used it for firewood, and oh, by the way, you are going to be getting a summons and fine for $10,000

Item 8, Skeleton, labeled Warg
Our oceanographic specialist was utterly fascinated with that, and after prolonged study, he decided that it represented an unknown, endangered or extinct species. You may not be aware of the laws regarding the collecting of specimens that are endangered, but he was. The Department of Fish and Game will be in touch with you.

Item 9, Embroidered Wall Hanging, labeled Journey Cloth
A truly beautiful piece of art, and the way it glows when touched has us all baffled. We have never seen anything like it, and our expert has appraised it as being worth at least $100,000.00
The Internal Revenue Service agrees with him, so they have impounded it, and they will be adjusting your tax statement accordingly.

Item 10, Light, labeled Maintainer Mark
An amazing object, no batteries, bulb, or wires, yet it glows!It was just what I needed for my office bathroom, and you may rest assured that it will be put to good use there.

Well, as you can see, nothing you sent us was felt to qualify for our collection, but we thank you for your interest, and invite you to continue sending us any artifacts or specimens you feel may be of value.

Maegnas
02-07-2004, 03:34 AM
Smithsonian Institute
Washington D.C.
Curator of Acquisitions

Firstly, let me thank you for your fascinating donations to our collection. We are known as the nations attic, and your contributions certainly fall into the category of, shall we say, unique artifacts. I apologize for the delay in aknowledging the receipt of your collection, but we routinely examine and appraise all objects we recieve, and yours gave us a certain amount of, well, difficulties.
We have some questions, and to put it bluntly, we are puzzled.

Item 1, Mineral specimens labeled Relto Rocks
Our examination discloses that these are composed entirely of video pixels, in a binary matrix. In other words, they do not really exist, and we would like to know where in heck you got them!

Item 2, Fire Marbles
At first, we assumed these were intensely radioactive, and we simply ran for our lives. But since the overnight cleaning crew emerged unscathed from the room, we finally went back in and took a look. You may be interested to know that the brilliant glow is simply an artists rendition, and frankly, that's all there is to them, nothing but glow! Since these also do not really exist, we cannot add them to our collection either.

Item 3, Maintainers Suit
We didn't know what to make of this thing, but we have decided to keep it for our Halloween party.

Item 4, Fireflies
Our insect specialists have examined these closely, and have determined that they have no eyes, bodies, wings, or for that matter, anything else! Since they cannot be classified, we have decided to forget about them, especially since when we tried to give them a drink of water, they vanished!

Item 5, Book, labeled Eder Gira
Every time one of our experts took this book into the examination room, he didn't come out, and none of them have been seen since. We sent it over to the Library of Congress, but they said they have no use for a book with no words and only one picture, so they threw it out. Sorry.

Item 6, Bracelet, labeled KI
This we found to be extremely interesting, but when we showed it to some buddies at the CIA and claimed we made it ourselves, they took it away from us, claiming national security or something. They got a little mean about it, so we gave them your name and address. I think you may be hearing from them real soon.

Item 7, Carved Column, labeled Bahro Pillar
As soon as he saw it, our expert realized this had to be an Eskimo artifact, and under the law about plundered Indian art, it was sent to Alaska. I hear they chopped it up and used it for firewood, and oh, by the way, you are going to be getting a summons and fine for $10,000

Item 8, Skeleton, labeled Warg
Our oceanographic specialist was utterly fascinated with that, and after prolonged study, he decided that it represented an unknown, endangered or extinct species. You may not be aware of the laws regarding the collecting of specimens that are endangered, but he was. The Department of Fish and Game will be in touch with you.

Item 9, Embroidered Wall Hanging, labeled Journey Cloth
A truly beautiful piece of art, and the way it glows when touched has us all baffled. We have never seen anything like it, and our expert has appraised it as being worth at least $100,000.00
The Internal Revenue Service agrees with him, so they have impounded it, and they will be adjusting your tax statement accordingly.

Item 10, Light, labeled Maintainer Mark
An amazing object, no batteries, bulb, or wires, yet it glows!It was just what I needed for my office bathroom, and you may rest assured that it will be put to good use there.

Well, as you can see, nothing you sent us was felt to qualify for our collection, but we thank you for your interest, and invite you to continue sending us any artifacts or specimens you feel may be of value.

Kuhlade
02-07-2004, 09:31 AM
Maegnas, I do hope you are not wasting a God given talent like yours just posting here. If you are writing professionally, I wish you great success. If you are not writing professionally, then shame on you. You are cheating the world.

Chloe on Achenar
KI: 00205348

Maegnas
02-07-2004, 12:45 PM
Nope, I've never been paid for writing, right now just posting here. Gee, maybe I should give it a shot sometime!

Kuhlade
02-07-2004, 12:57 PM
I have some experience in editing and proof reading and I do a lot of reading for research and pleasure. I am telling you, you do have a talent. You are imaginitive, very creative and have a handle on how to deliver humor subtly. There are authors being published every day with much less than what you display. If I were you, I would definitely give it a shot. Even your spelling is quite good (most authors are atrocious!)I was only able to pick up on some random goofs. Come up with some short stories and submit them. What have you got to lose?

Chloe on Achenar
KI: 00205348

Whitch2
02-07-2004, 01:16 PM
Ahhh, my dear Maegnas. Always a ray of sunshine, no matter how gloomy the weather.

Absolutely hilarious! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Maegnas
02-07-2004, 06:20 PM
Ah, there you are, witty, wonderful Whitch2
I am glad to hear from you
For all of you Mods I was concerned
When the dismal future of "Live" we learned

You Mods have poured your hearts in this
And now some people snarl and hiss
But I do thank you, one and all
You even helped us through the "Live" downfall

I'm very glad you'll still be here
Lending a sympathetic ear
Helping people play the game
Your presence helping frustration tame

Mods fellowships will be preserved
You'll keep the friends your efforts earned
And though you can't chat in the game
Socializing here will stay the same!

Pepsi1953
02-07-2004, 06:31 PM
/clap /clap /clap

Maegnas, you definitely do have a talent with words. But not only with words. You have the talent of lending words to the task of uplifting people's spirits during a very sad time.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your compassion, wit and words. For I am one of the many who have need of your words.

~Pepsi~

In Cavern: Pehpsee
Member of the Guild of Greeters (http://www.greetersguild.com/home.html)
Member of the D'LA (http://www.dniactivities.org/)
Atrus KI: 725577
Katran KI: 147811
Achenar KI: 244262

-When you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worthwhile.-

lucky13x
02-08-2004, 09:31 AM
Add my name to the ever growing list of people who think Maegnas should be working professionally. Thanks for your walk throughs. If I could get into the game, I would be using them to help me finish the game.

Instead I will simply enjoy reading your great walk throughs on these forums ! http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Maegnas
02-08-2004, 10:21 PM
If you liked this, try the stuff I'm putting in sequence on the thread CLEARANCE SALE