Uzisoft announcement (yeah, it's just a joke)

[Georg_Maximus]

Uzisoft today announced the sixth installment of their critically acclaimed *****er Cell series. The series underwent a dramatic overhaul with the previous game, turning the 3 first games' emphasis on stealth and infiltration into a street fighter-style gameplay. Uzisoft says in a press release that they have worked to develop the gameplay even further in order to suit a mass-marked audience, and with the announced sequel, the award-winning company hopes to regain the marked shares they lost after episode 5, Confusion, which was widely concidered a flop. Inspired by the huge success of the Sim-style genre, SC6 begins with the retirement of the series' protagonist, Sam Fishy, now turned 80, and one of your first quests is to find him a home in the city suburbs where the SamSim can begin. Uzisoft reveals that the innovative free-roaming system gives the player virtually endless possibilities with regards to gardening, walking your dog and getting along with your neighbours, but have restricted the amount of violence and suspense in order to target family audiences. "We want to show a different side of Sam", says Uzisoft's representative, "and we're sure that the old time fans of SC will appreciate their new possibilities in exploring his civilian life and getting to know 'the real Sam'". Initially named "*****er Cell 6 - Goin' Fishy", the game is expected to be released just in time for the holiday season '08. Rumors are that Uzisoft will give their Christmas customers a special X-mas patch, enabling the player to dress Sam up as Santa Claus and make him sneak into childrens homes and leave them presents. "We won't give anything away", Uzisoft's representative says with a secretive smile, "but those who miss the sneaking may get a treat or two if they buy the game in December."

Expected release date: December 1, 2008

[marinius]

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

[Arun Kumar]

LMAO! bwahahahaha! that was ****** amazing! LOL!

dude pls show us the preview of the game ASAP :P

[SplinterCell920]

haha....*****er Cell.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

[marinius]

Originally posted by Arun ***ar:
LMAO! bwahahahaha! that was ****** amazing! LOL!

dude pls show us the preview of the game ASAP :P

Haha, yeah I want a preview as well! Especially the part where Sam's sneaking presents into kids' homes, I bet that's a real suspenseful part of the game...

[Georg_Maximus]

Originally posted by Arun ***ar:
LMAO! bwahahahaha! that was ****** amazing! LOL!

dude pls show us the preview of the game ASAP :P

In order to prevent over-hyping the game, Uzisoft is holding back all information until it's ready to be shipped. Fans across the globe are already turning rumors and speculations into real demands and expectations, but Uzisoft says that the development team needs to work in peace in order to create a kick-*** game that will most probably revolutionize next-gen console gaming. But the latest rumors that Sam will be able to throw not only printers and scanners at pedestrians, but also harass his neighbours with loud-barking dogs has as of yet not been denied by Uzisoft.

[marinius]

Originally posted by Georg_Maximus:
But the latest rumors that Sam will be able to throw not only printers and scanners at pedestrians, but also harass his neighbours with loud-barking dogs has as of yet not been denied by Uzisoft.

If I might venture a wild guess: I'm pretty sure Sam will be able to use his walking stick to beat up on any neighbours complaining about the barking dogs, even though Uzisoft are trying to downplay the violent aspects of this extremely exciting new game. I'm sure Sam, even at the ripe old age of 80, still is something of a badass. He would have to be, in order to still possess the strength needed to hurl printers etc. from his yard at innocent bypassers.

[Knot3D]

Thanx dude http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Sometimes we need a good laugh

[Georg_Maximus]

Originally posted by marinius:
If I might venture a wild guess: I'm pretty sure Sam will be able to use his walking stick to beat up on any neighbours complaining about the barking dogs, even though Uzisoft are trying to downplay the violent aspects of this extremely exciting new game. I'm sure Sam, even at the ripe old age of 80, still is something of a badass. He would have to be, in order to still possess the strength needed to hurl printers etc. from his yard at innocent bypassers.

Well, I guess that's one of the game's challenges - how to keep Sam fit and well for his daily endeavors. Watching porn movies and eating TV dinners will make old Sam grumpy and tired, but with the right combination of vitamins and exercises, Sam will throw that printer over the garden fence any time of day http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Hiddai]

Originally posted by Georg_Maximus:
Uzisoft today announced the sixth installment of their critically acclaimed *****er Cell series. The series underwent a dramatic overhaul with the previous game, turning the 3 first games' emphasis on stealth and infiltration into a street fighter-style gameplay. Uzisoft says in a press release that they have worked to develop the gameplay even further in order to suit a mass-marked audience, and with the announced sequel, the award-winning company hopes to regain the marked shares they lost after episode 5, Confusion, which was widely concidered a flop. Inspired by the huge success of the Sim-style genre, SC6 begins with the retirement of the series' protagonist, Sam Fishy, now turned 80, and one of your first quests is to find him a home in the city suburbs where the SamSim can begin. Uzisoft reveals that the innovative free-roaming system gives the player virtually endless possibilities with regards to gardening, walking your dog and getting along with your neighbours, but have restricted the amount of violence and suspense in order to target family audiences. "We want to show a different side of Sam", says Uzisoft's representative, "and we're sure that the old time fans of SC will appreciate their new possibilities in exploring his civilian life and getting to know 'the real Sam'". Initially named "*****er Cell 6 - Goin' Fishy", the game is expected to be released just in time for the holiday season '08. Rumors are that Uzisoft will give their Christmas customers a special X-mas patch, enabling the player to dress Sam up as Santa Claus and make him sneak into childrens homes and leave them presents. "We won't give anything away", Uzisoft's representative says with a secretive smile, "but those who miss the sneaking may get a treat or two if they buy the game in December."

Expected release date: December 1, 2008

That's ****ing funny http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

[marinius]

Yup, that is hilarious Georg, at least until Ubisoft announces something similar next spring... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

[Jackie Fiest]

Guys, we need to chill on evading the word filter. If it continues, the thread will be closed.

[SplinterCell_37]

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

[capteenix]

COnfusion, indeed. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

[superman3392]

LMAO!!!!!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

[Arun Kumar]

Jackie, pls dont close this thread. This is one of the best thread i have seen here in a long time :P i was really tired of seeing everybody bashin Ubi for the bad port of DA. (and till date they never fixed those bugs is another issue)

so i think we need a change now. and i think Georg_Maximus some how pulled off a great spoof on Splinter Cell http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif it was so hilarious that i cudnt avoid that f word.

i hope nobody trie to evade the word filter in the future so that this thread lives long, atleast till the release of ConViction http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

dude Georg_Maximus http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

[psyichic]

rofl. That gave me a good chuckle http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Georg_Maximus]

Originally posted by Arun ***ar:
dude Georg_Maximus http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

You may now kiss my feet, o humble one http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif