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Eclipse_788
04-09-2005, 02:03 PM
Look erm...if u have some time please look here.Basically i have a real life problem.Sometime in March i met my old friend,a 15 year old called Clair,who i had known since nursery as i was walking back 4rom school in Fulham.We used 2 do everything 2gether and we knew each other really well-we loved each other as friends 4 life.I always kept in touch with her even when we broke up in year 6 and i went 2 a all boys school-we were inseperable.

So as we were walking down to Fulham Broadway Station to go home 2 wimbledon,she stopped suddenly.She started gasping and i got scared and asked her what was wrong-she fell on her knees and collapsed on2 the ground.I had been learning CPR 4 the last 4 years and i turned her over and did EVERYTHING-i checked her airway,breathing did my rescue breaths,checked 4 signs of life,did compressions etc.Nobody on the street did anything 2 help me,they just stared at me like an idiot,not even when i asked them 2 dial 999 i had 2 do it myself.I did all this 4 30 mins(although it seemed longer)and by the time i had finished blood was running down my back(i had scissors sticking in my back thru my bag-i never had time 2 take my bag off my back.i have a scar there now).Finally the ambulance came and took Clair away.They wrote down my phone number and told me 2 go home-theyd call me back.
A while after i got back home,the phone rang and i picked it up(i dont want my parents 2 know).The doctor told me that she had died from a heart defect.

I have been regularly breaking down and am also crying at this moment in time.i would just like 2 know any advice on how 2 get over this.

I hope i havent taken up an of your time

Eclipse

Eclipse_788
04-09-2005, 02:03 PM
Look erm...if u have some time please look here.Basically i have a real life problem.Sometime in March i met my old friend,a 15 year old called Clair,who i had known since nursery as i was walking back 4rom school in Fulham.We used 2 do everything 2gether and we knew each other really well-we loved each other as friends 4 life.I always kept in touch with her even when we broke up in year 6 and i went 2 a all boys school-we were inseperable.

So as we were walking down to Fulham Broadway Station to go home 2 wimbledon,she stopped suddenly.She started gasping and i got scared and asked her what was wrong-she fell on her knees and collapsed on2 the ground.I had been learning CPR 4 the last 4 years and i turned her over and did EVERYTHING-i checked her airway,breathing did my rescue breaths,checked 4 signs of life,did compressions etc.Nobody on the street did anything 2 help me,they just stared at me like an idiot,not even when i asked them 2 dial 999 i had 2 do it myself.I did all this 4 30 mins(although it seemed longer)and by the time i had finished blood was running down my back(i had scissors sticking in my back thru my bag-i never had time 2 take my bag off my back.i have a scar there now).Finally the ambulance came and took Clair away.They wrote down my phone number and told me 2 go home-theyd call me back.
A while after i got back home,the phone rang and i picked it up(i dont want my parents 2 know).The doctor told me that she had died from a heart defect.

I have been regularly breaking down and am also crying at this moment in time.i would just like 2 know any advice on how 2 get over this.

I hope i havent taken up an of your time

Eclipse

EternalDirt
04-09-2005, 02:32 PM
Sorry to hear about it Eclipse http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Firstly, u will not be able to 'get over' it just like that! BTW have u told your parents yet?
Basically you need to tlk to someone about this, as she was ur close friend, be it your parents, ur friends or someone she knew and even a counsellor at school.
I have had a similar experience and the best advice I can give u is don't bottle it up (U DID EVERYTHING U COULD HAVE!!). Talk to ur or even her friends and family about your experience. These things take time, unfortunatley! It really can damage a person
And as hard as it may seem, go to her funereal, u MUST say goodbye to her!
REMEMBER her best qualities and the fun times u had!
All the best http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

P.s. pls keep me posted!

JhonenVasquez
04-09-2005, 02:46 PM
Ooo...hope your friend is in Heaven. Well try to think of the good things in your life that made you happy. Read something that conforts you. And if it makes you feel good, play SC:CT.

EDIT: Listen to some music also.

Rbdb1R
04-09-2005, 04:21 PM
is 999 the emergency number in some other country?

EternalDirt
04-09-2005, 05:08 PM
yeap it's the British equialent of 911

Rbdb1R
04-09-2005, 05:18 PM
oh ok cuz i was gonna say "no wonder they were staring at you like you were an idiot if you were telling them to call 999"

JoNAsOS3
04-10-2005, 02:52 AM
I feel really sorry for you Eclipse http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
I don't know how you can get over something like that... Sorry.
Maby someone to talk too; your parents maby...

I hope you feel better soon http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Eclipse_788
04-10-2005, 12:35 PM
I went to her funeral yesterday...i had one look at that coffin and i broke down straight away...****...girls are good at making u feel better but i cant c any on this forum.Ah well thnx guys but i still cant get over it.I broke down like 5 times while reading my speach.i still think that its my fault!What if i cocked something up on CPR?Im only 15!?And itd be my fault that shes bloody dead and that i cant do anything right in life in the end!!!:{

Eclipse_788
04-10-2005, 12:39 PM
loook soz after all that i shouldnt be shouting but thanking you 4 all that youve done.hell i just need a hug 2 cool me downhttp://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

EternalDirt
04-10-2005, 05:22 PM
Hope ur feeling better!
If u really need to tlk to someone, tlk to Samaritans. You have no idea how much it will make u feel better. just e-mail them: jo@samaritans.org or u can phone them: 08457 90 90 90 (UK only)
Right now ur going through a 'grieving period', its normal but it doesn't help if u keep it to ur self because u will just blame urself (U DID EVERYTHING U COULD) there are many ppl out there who couldn't have done what u did! Like I said talk to her friends who knew her well and also tlk to ur family.

SoulGrind
04-10-2005, 08:47 PM
Hey dood, the only advice i could give you is that you'll never fully get over it.
You'll move on in your life but it'll always be a memory. Soon enough you won't be upset like you've been and you'll start to get back to the normal everyday routine that you had. I myself had the honor of finding a suicide victim in my local park and that screwed me up for weeks. Happened this year, I wasn't crying or upset to that point, but it did screw with my mind for quite some time. It's not your fault dood, you did all that you can and in the end it was her heart that gave out. Unless you gave her that heart defect you've got no reason to feel guilt.

Cheer up, it will get easier day by day. Just remember the good times and talk to as many people about it as possible. I did and it helped heaps.

Eclipse_788
04-11-2005, 03:44 PM
Well speaking 2 u guys is clearing my mind thnx!!

Secretaznman
04-11-2005, 07:03 PM
I am very sorry to hear this, may your friend Rest In Peace. Anyways, I myself am a lifeguard (also 15, just got certified this year) and they told me stories that no matter what you do, there will be some people that you can't save. I hate to say this, but I was told stories where they did everything correctly (CPR and all) and they couldn't save the person. Bottomline is, you did your best, and may god bless you for that.

I hope that you will get better soon, and again, you should pat yourself on the back for trying.

Talk to your friends about it, let people know how you feel. Afterall, that's what friends are for. May God bless you, Eclipse.

Eclipse_788
04-12-2005, 02:21 PM
Thanx man,much aprecciated

XyZspineZyX
04-12-2005, 04:11 PM
I can,t tell you I feel your pane, I can't tell you how to say goodbye, I can't tell you she is in heaven, I can't tell you to get over it neither. All that I know is that all my friends are dead from drunk driving, heroin, drowning. I never learned to cry for them. I hung around a better group of friends and their were two brothers in that group, they were insepreable and had great jokes, they both were frienddly and always kind, they plaed games together with us, one got polieo, we never saw that brother very often, the other brother wasn't around much, he would fake his smiles, I saw them a few times, They were with each other smiling, the brother had his arm around his brother cause he could barely walk, the brother had a smile on his face even though he could barely walk, the brother who was carrying him was proud to be his brother and held him with strength and the look of pride on his face was evident, they were both together like the old day's to say hello and joke, they were both so happy and proud to be the others brother, I cried, the brother later died, I cried. Im crying right now for you and her Eclipse. It changes things, this knowledge, when the one you love is taken away from you and you want to know why. Eclipse we have now both had people we care about die. Eclipse we are now soldiers, we are soldiers of life, We have a responsiblity to the ones around us to tell them our mistakes and our hopes and help them have a brighter future, I look after kids in divorced families, I helped a girl who fell from a tree and then see her parents snear at me and take her away, but I was happy for her, I started helping more people when I could, It gave me a purpose, I spend my life trying to honor their memory. Eclipse I feel like your my brother when I heared your expierience, My name is Aaron and dont forget her and soldier on. Ive found that if you talk to Jehovah's Witnesses they can be a help. I can't believe Im crying right now. Eclipse you have to believe me when I say you will see her again, you will see her again. Even if you don't understand what ive said believe this:

Eclipse you could spend your whole life honoring her memory and it would not be a wasted life.

Eclipse_788
04-12-2005, 04:43 PM
I know what you mean.I have realised how to act upon this and that although crying does show how much we love and miss our loved ones,we should know that we will see those who suffered one day again.Who knows if they are in heaven,hell,reincarnated as something else or something we have never seen nor heard about but either way,we shall meet once more.

XyZspineZyX
04-12-2005, 10:13 PM
Amen