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aaronblood
08-03-2005, 01:11 PM
When your wife starts crying? I mean literally crying.

Hmmmm... I might have to leave SH3 alone for a week or so.

HMFIC57
08-03-2005, 01:37 PM
Sorry to hear of your situation, but you are not alone!
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/...881023933#1881023933 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/1881023933/r/1881023933#1881023933)

Oppenheimer1
08-03-2005, 01:38 PM
Wasn't sure if I should reveal this, but what the hell. The wife and I have been on the outs for a few months now. Today was our first 'counselling session'. Exactly 10 minutes in, the subject of "playing that submarine game" was suddenly the topic of discussion. No joke.

Mylo42
08-03-2005, 02:34 PM
Gentlemen,

The reality is, very (very) few women understand a gamer's passion. To them, we are "playing silly computer games." To us, we are Herr Kaleun !!, at sea, in charge of man and machine, doing our part for the Fatherland.

Here's my take on it fellas, the gals get mad because they think we enjoy spending time playing "silly games" more than we enjoy spending time with them. Sometimes (a lot of the time, depending on your relationship), this is in fact true, so it's hard to argue with how they feel. However, I don't think there is a guy playing SHIII that wouldn't LOVE their spouse to get involved in SHIII as much as they do, playing it with them, reading about subs, building scale models of subs, etc. If a husband and wife team could go out on patrol together, both completely enjoying their make believe roles at sea, all would be well with the relationship. Hell, they could even "get a little action" when there isn't any action.

.....but....reality WILL rear it's ugly head when the two don't have the same perspective on gaming. In my opinion, the gamer must back down and admit that the importance is secondary to a strong relationship. I know....I know.....not easy, but...reality. At the end of the day, don't let fantasy mess with reality. It sucks, but sometimes reality demands more time.

Me personally, I will only play when my Mrs. isn't around. I work shift work so there are times when I have the day hours to game while she is at work. ...or maybe she takes off for a Saturday shopping or something......game time.

.....Now if I could only get the lawn mowed.

stinkhammer6
08-03-2005, 02:50 PM
My first wife (she broke so I took her back to the store for a new and improved model) would complain about me playing a certain game online all the time. A few times I was like fine, Ill shut it down and plopped on the couch with her. She was happy for a few minutes and we just ended up watching tv or a movie with no conversation. SO, back to gaming I went and she got mad that we didnt spend time together. Figure that out.

My latest edition dont mind one single bit that I play, how long I play or when. She likes her time alone just as much as I like mine. If I start gaming and tv dont do it for her, she goes on the internet on the other computer we have. Heck my wife is currently playing the Doom 3 demo.

AVGWarhawk
08-03-2005, 02:55 PM
I tell my wife it is this game or the bar. You take your pick. I explain to her it is a hobby. So instead of trying to get drunk or scoring a fix in the alley way, I spend my money and time on games. But yes, I really only get to enjoy the game when she is occupied. Normally Sat and Sun morning when all are asleep is my best gaming time. To get away from the nagging, I just play when I will be free of ridicule or disgust. Like I said, that is the early morning hours of the weekend.

aaronblood
08-03-2005, 03:04 PM
What we really need to do is get all our wives together so they can complain about us as a focus group...

Then we'd have some time for gaming!

HimmelJaeger
08-03-2005, 03:46 PM
lmao!

The Victims of SHIII Focus Group... my girlfriend says sign her up! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

BAT502
08-03-2005, 04:24 PM
HAHAHAHA Like it. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

stinkhammer6
08-03-2005, 05:33 PM
Fire one back at the wife when she is doing a hobby of hers and complain about what she does for fun, then out flank her with why you play games. That ends the conversation rather quickly, she will nag but the next time you play she will be quiet.

AVGWarhawk
08-03-2005, 05:47 PM
Her hobby consists of Lifetime Channel for Women. Just more sensless tribble. She needs to accept that life is not in a castle with prince charming and if she finds the prince, let me know because he needs to be in the Guiness book of world records or Ripleys Believe it or not. Furthermore, if she finds the prince and decides to go, it is a package deal...bills and kids are part of the package.Its a hobby. Tough beans.

Mylo42
08-03-2005, 06:44 PM
PRINCE OF THE HIGH SEAS I AM.....HA HA HA !! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif (That's as good as she's gonna get)

stljeffbb
08-03-2005, 07:01 PM
Hey, these games (for guys....seems there is at least one woman who plays here on the boards) are like Harlequin romance novels for women...games like this are what I dreamed of back during the Atari 2600 years...

I feel that the skills gaming can build are very helpful....problem solving, discipline, hand-eye coordination, etc....especially if a person doesn't use cheats and plays games on a "realistic" setting (or by using mods to make it "realistic")...

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

-Jeff

Mylo42
08-03-2005, 07:05 PM
stljeffbb,

I see you are still in the "I can justify my gaming time because it's healthy for me" phase. You will eventually mature into the "It is an educational experience" phase, which is the one I am in. Ultimately, we all end up in the "I don't give a ****, I'm playing my games" phase. I'm looking forward to my advancement into that. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

stljeffbb
08-03-2005, 08:15 PM
Hi Mylo42...

yes, I've been playing games for many years now....I've gone through phases where I haven't played any games for a more than a year.....I've always thought of games as "educational experience"...I often like seeing how a game is constructed and what "gamey" tactics work, like going along the edge of the game map in Steel Panthers...

...I'm hoping, almost assuming, that games will evolve to an extremely realistic phase....I would pay money to have a "museum" experience being immersed in, say, a 1930's city (oh yeah, Mafia doesn't do a bad job of that at all, but wouldn't it be neat to just stop into one of those shops and have a simulated cup of coffee?)...

The day will soon come, IMHO, when this will happen.

-Jeff

Poacher886a
08-03-2005, 11:58 PM
Men's instink is to compete,through hisory there has been wars and constant challenges not normal now.
So we satasfy our thirst through War games!
This makes us very much men...

Women need to aquire an interest of there own,they very rarely have one,if they did they would be happy of there own 'ME' time and the relationship would be healthy'er for both!

blue_76
08-04-2005, 12:02 AM
Women need to aquire an interest of there own,they very rarely have one,if they did they would be happy of there own 'ME' time and the relationship would be healthy'er for both!

two words... SIMS 2 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

captsteubie
08-04-2005, 02:11 AM
Yup, I finally gave the little woman the boot. Now I send folks to jail during the day, and sink enemy ships a night. An excellent trade off. I even get less crying from the victims of my day job than from my hobby! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Akula_971
08-04-2005, 02:28 AM
You guys have it all wrong, a little reverse pyschology is needed. It worked for me!
Here is how:-
My girlfriend complained, nagged, moaned about how much time I spent on the PC. And that I should spend more time with her. (sitting on the sofa, watching reality TV?). So I thought OK, you want me next door, so be it. Being master of the remote, you can forget about big brother, we are watching wildlife documentaries about the life of vultures inthe Sahara, which I actually found interesting. A few more nights of that I was told to go and play your silly games, I want to watch drivel (insert rubbish TV show of your choice).

The trick is to do what they ask, but not exactly what they ask. You need to arrange it so that if your dragged away from your enjoyment, it impacts their enjoyment. Have fun!

Chrisss1972
08-04-2005, 02:28 AM
Hmmmmm, I don't know what problems you have with your wifes or girlfriends. Of course they will be pissed, because they are not part of it.

Make them addicted! Worked for me.

I got her The Sims and my gf was excited to play the nights through for a couple of weeks. Next was Sims 2 and Nemo.

As she likes horror and action movies, she was happy to watch me playing through Doom III, HalfLife II and above all Far Cry. FPS she likes to watch but not to play, Racing Games (NFS,...) are off limit.

Had to buy her a laptop though, to have the computer for myself. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif))

One day, I was re-playing Gothic II, she was watching interested, because it's mainly just another Sims Game. You can upgrade your character, buy new things and advance slowly in the game. After that I showed her Diablo II and Dungeon Siege and we had some great weekends, playing it through it, via wireless LAN.

Recently, I was busy of gettin all the remaining RFP titles I know, like Neverwinter Nights, Baldurs Gate II, Seal of Evil and what is around. She can't wait to get her fingers on Dungeon Siege II and hopefully Diablo III will come out next year.

Any other games, which I should get my hands on???

;-)

AVGWarhawk
08-04-2005, 05:40 AM
The bottom line gentlemen is that wives and girlfriends need to understand that our purpose on earth is not to entertain their every want and desire 24-7. You have to convince them that there is more to life then becoming the entertainment directer for her wants and needs. That when they are not interested in what you have to offer for the day, that you must simply sit in the corner waiting to be called when they feel like you should be doing something for them or with them. Its called having a individuality, not being just a court jester for their bidding. What they fail to realize is these games are a release from you day to day grind. Some drink their bad day away. Some escape by the games on the PC...some drink and play games but that is another thread! If you do not convince your other half that you have other interests in life other then pandering to their needs, you have lost your soul as an independant thinker and the very matter that makes you, you. Normally this is called being whipped. I simply refuse to change and correct a hobby that does not inflict damage physically or mentally on others. Ask her to give up something she loves to do and see how that goes. Doing that would go over like a draft card at a hippy love in! Sitting around watching reality TV is an absolute bore. For the love of Heaven, you live a reality TV all day. Who the heck wants that drama when you get home? Not me. Like I said, do not let them remove what you enjoy, it will only make you miserable and want to leave. It is not fair play that we must change constantly to their bidding. They must accept that this is a hobby. It is no less of a hobby then sitting and constructing a model or reading a book. I often find that women who find there other half are having a good time without them, it is time to put a stop to it. Stand your ground and be a man. Being whipped is for cool whip topping.

bogusheadbox
08-04-2005, 06:29 AM
There are a lot of great suggestions here that do help. And they are spot on.

Here is something that made my Girlfriend understand why i play games.

I purchse quite often, PCGamer magazine here in the UK. In one section where people write in and get their letters published was a brilliant letter exactly about this topic.

I don't know why (she must have been bored. But she started reading my magazine. She read this one article and started to understand. She even read it aloud to me.

My G/F likes reading novels. And basically the article made referrences to novels and summed it up as this.

Computer gaming is like reading a novel. You are ivolved in a story. You watch the story unfold before your eyes. However, the difference between a game and a novel is...

That you are the character, you play out the novel. You can even change the novel on how you decide to play it. You become the writer, the reader, the character. You write the novel as you play along. You can even play this novel again and have a totally different ending.

This is something no novel can do.

She understood from there.

I also bought her the sims. Kept her busy for quite some time.

But in the end, it comes to moderation. All your time cannot be spent on the computer.

I spend all of the time i can with my GF. She has her hobbies and i have mine. And we share a common interest in moutain biking. But because i spend as much time with her as possible. She gives me a lot of my own time as a reward for being a devoting partner.

Girls get jealous of the attention we can spend on a computer. The way we get engrossed in a game. Like the way my GF sometimes just likes to sit in bed alone and read a book.

Its all about balance. Find it and you will find all the playing time you need.

Other than that, buy her a mountain bike (like i did) and take her out for one mother of a ride.

She will be asleep within the hour after a nice bath to wash all the mud off and i will be giggling to myslef blowing the bollocks off space creatures. ;-)

legodragonxp
08-04-2005, 07:42 AM
My problem is that the wife likes video games, but:
-They must have action.
-They must not be 'too 3-D' or she gets motion sickness
-We must play together to for her to enjoy it
-It must make sense to her
-It cannot require any 'twitch' or it become too stressful

---so---
Its Diablo2, Diablo2, or Diablo2
now, don't get me wrong, D2 was a fun game.. the first seven or eight times we played through it... but it is so bad now that she knows who to go kill and when to get a certain device.

SH3 really bugs her (as do my train simulations) becuase she just doesn't get it.

"What are you doing?"
"I'm hiding from a destroyer."
"I don't see a destroyer."
"See this line, and hear that 'pinging noise'. They're trying to sink me."
"So you're hiding from a shrinking red line on a map?"
"Yes. Hear that, those are his props. He is getting close." (depth charges in the water, sub takes damage)
"That wasn't very impressive."
"True, but I'll have it repaired soon and go after the nearby convoy."
"Where are they?"
"They are the black lines over here."
"So red lines can kill you but black lines cannot?"
"Depends on if they have guns."
"I thought you said you were underwater."
"I am."
"I don't get it."
.................................
About this time one of the kids shows up and poops in my fruit loops and the gaming session is over. That is why I like SH3. You can pause it and come back later.

Hawggy
08-04-2005, 07:46 AM
I feel so sorry for you guys who don't have a significant other that understands electronic entertainment. At the same token, you'll never understand interior decoration and rose pruning, so....... In either case, hats off to you!! Lord knows women can be less understanding than a teenager's parents. I've found the key is to buy them their own PC. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

aaronblood
08-04-2005, 08:10 AM
Originally posted by Poacher886a:
Women need to aquire an interest of there own,they very rarely have one,if they did they would be happy of there own 'ME' time and the relationship would be healthy'er for both!


That is so SO true!

My wife's only hobby (that I'm aware of) is to absorb my attention.

The only game she seems to have any interest in AT ALL is Ms Pacman. So far I've bought her like every version of Ms Pacman you can imagine. Her favorite is the el cheapo $10 plug into the TV A/V jack joystick. Only problem with a game like that... only holds her interest for about 20-30 mins.

stinkhammer6
08-04-2005, 08:52 AM
Well I lucked out with my woman, shes an artist and that takes up alot of her time making and selling her art, she loves computers and is on the laptop upstairs while Im on the pc downstairs in the rec room. She stops in now and then to see what Im doing or how much I have sank. When Im done she comes down there and cranks out her doom 3 demo and unleashes long strings of screaming obscenities for a while. She knew when we were hooking up Im a guy with many hobbies that take up alot of time and shes fine with that. I dont get any nagging or complaining since when I disappear downstairs to play games, she works on her art or goes online with the laptop upstairs and is perfectly happy.

If things of fun or interest dry up for her, thats about the time the new stephen king book hits the shelves, I buy it for her, and I dont see her for about 4 days. So it all works out well for me. Plus she cant complain, as some of you know Im a great cook so shes happy with that, I do things that allow her her own "me" time and she likes that also. We do spend time together and do things together so it all evens out for the most part. Heck when I used to play Joint Operations, she would always ask me if I was about to play or when was I going online to snipe other players, when I would play she would stop everything, pull up a chair and literally....watch me play for 3-6 hours at a time. She would even spot targets for me for ones I didnt see, yelling for me to run up and stab that guy or OH OH over there is a guy shoot him etc etc. Im one of the few lucky ones I say.

Budokan
08-04-2005, 09:56 AM
When is it time to push away from the keyboard? When the wife calls sexily from the bedroom, "Honey, I'm waiting." And you reply: "Wait a minute, I'm sneaking through Scapa Flow's sub nets right now."

Actually, I'm fortunate. I have an understanding wife. She understands I'm an incurable subsim playing bubblehead. But I'm even more fortunate. I have two kids who thinks it's great sport to watch Daddy try and sneak away from angry escorts after blasting a T3 out of a convoy. I'm afraid I've hooked them on the game. I expect they'll be playing SH9 when they get older, hehe!

Akula_971
08-04-2005, 09:57 AM
Used to have a Russian GF, she was really into PCs and games. Trouble was she was always on it, all day! all night. I started to get withdrawl symtoms, she could do stuff on the PC that I'd only dream of. Very intelligent! very sexy, very pretty!, but when she was not on the PC she was drunk, so drunk, metings with friends-drunk, its a Russian thing. She had to go.....still miss her a bit. I was finding hidden cans of lager for months after she left. Quite nice really.

DiveDevil
08-04-2005, 10:04 AM
Yeah my fiance did not like SHIII one bit, she just couldn't get it. However like many who have posted here she has her own computer downstairs and when our three year old son takes his nap or goes to bed at night we go to our respective pc's and do our own thing; she goes on-lineand I go on patrol. She not into games enough to play them I thought I could get her into the Sims series but she thought it was too much work. I've been playing SHIII for the past two + months straight and she's just gone to except that I'm really involved in something I enjoy. I don't play it every waking moment of my day only when I know I'll have my own time for a couple hours even if that means staying up till all hours of the morning. She turning around for me though, I got her interested in Das Boot enough to watch it with me finally and she loved it http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif who'd have thunk it?

Jack_Stern
08-04-2005, 06:00 PM
Yep, my wife loves yahoo games, this little word twist game, she scores in the millions of points. Of course it takes her hours to reach those high scores. So while she's on hers, I'm on mine with SH3 and I just bought Far Cry yesterday. Unfortuntaly she also loves Law and Order, Judging Amy and other **** like that. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif So that's when the headphones come out. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

GT182
08-04-2005, 06:44 PM
I told my wife the same thing AVGWarhawk did. Plus, I'd have to go out and buy another Harley to replace the computer. And seeing it would have to be a new Custom Soft-tail, it didn't go over too well. Oh she likes to ride but hates to spend the money. I even sold my 76 custom Super Glide back in 93 to buy this house. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif

KRlSTOFF
08-04-2005, 07:44 PM
I had just split up with my girlfreind when I found this game....Yes folks.....THERAPY DOES COME IN A BOX for 49.99!!!!

infacto
08-05-2005, 05:56 AM
Yes I did the same as Akula_971 but I would only watch the history channel and startreck reruns. I was soon pushed back onto my comp with no conplaints ,solong as I make cups of tea and coffee.

The worst thing you can do is give in AND watch what she wants LOL.

Rgds

Infacto

Philipscdrw
08-05-2005, 08:06 AM
Chrisss1972 and Bogusheadbox speak sense, I think. I'm comfortably single myself. Ahh, the long student summer - get up at 11:30, play SH3 for a few hours, have lunch, go to the shops, play SH3 until 3am, all the way to October. Only drawback is the 700 overdraft...

stinkhammer6
08-05-2005, 08:39 AM
Gt, my father had an original harley enduro from 1971, everything on it original minus oil, gas, battery, he gave it away when he knew I wanted it, never forgave him for that one.

Gill1981
08-05-2005, 08:52 AM
No problemo for me.
I don't have a girlfriend. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

bogusheadbox
08-05-2005, 08:54 AM
My new X52 joystick arrived and i explained to my better half about why i wanted it.

She gave me that quizicle look and i started thinking to myself...."oh god here we go, she is going to think i am getting geeky"

Then she says. I am glad. It will keep you out of trouble when i am away.

You know.... She is right. It does keep my partying habit in check and keeps me out of trouble

Mylo42
08-06-2005, 03:10 AM
My Mrs. is pretty understanding about my affliction. She even likes playing Combat Mission BtoB on LAN. I was straight up with her from the get go however, which has made a difference. Other relationships caved in when my "true persona" revealed itself. She has her P.C. and enjoys her thing and I have mine. Trouble is, they are in the same room and I HATE being disturbed when in my Herr Kaleun role so, I reserve my SHIII time for when she isn't home, for her sake, and my own. The only time she raises the issue of "you are playing SHIII too much", is when......I'm playing SHIII too much. Initially, I get a little mad about her "lack of understanding" but truthfully, I know she is right. She keeps me grounded to reality....as well as getting real life stuff done.

stinkhammer6
08-06-2005, 01:23 PM
But all in all, its truely time to stop the game when you find yourself reaching for another beer and you are out, and see that there is a small pyramid of empties around your mouse pad, its time for bed.

Mylo42
08-06-2005, 01:47 PM
Stink,

So true....so true.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif (You forgot the pizza box on the desk even though your wife had the decency and love for you to make you "pre-made" dinners in the freezer that all you had to do was nuke....but that was too much effort so you grabbed the phone, hit speed dial, and ordered a bacon-double-cheezeburger pizza. Before she got home from her 3 day long business trip, (Marathon session of SHIII for me http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif) I thawed a couple and fed them to the dog, just so it looked like I ate them. Meeka (my dog) was happy and I think she (my dog) can keep a secret. That's exactly what I mean, when she says I have been playing too much.....I have.)

VikingGrandad
08-06-2005, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by stinkhammer6:
...My latest edition dont mind one single bit that I play, how long I play or when. She likes her time alone just as much as I like mine...
Same here. Sometimes she delivers munchies or beer too http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-tongue.gif. A rare breed.

VikingGrandad
08-06-2005, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by Akula_971:
Used to have a Russian GF, she was really into PCs and games. Trouble was she was always on it, all day! all night. I started to get withdrawl symtoms, she could do stuff on the PC that I'd only dream of. Very intelligent! very sexy, very pretty!, but when she was not on the PC she was drunk, so drunk, metings with friends-drunk, its a Russian thing. She had to go.....still miss her a bit. I was finding hidden cans of lager for months after she left. Quite nice really.

LOL http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-06-2005, 02:45 PM
I have no significant other. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif I leave the game when I can't see the screen anymore and my fingers are bleeding.

Sarge

blastomatic1759
08-09-2005, 01:59 PM
here's a good time to take a break or make coffee , when youve ruined a nice career because you fell asleep at the helm and your boat has found dirt in Greenland while doing 20 knots, that seems to kill everybody on board for some reason.