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View Full Version : How to improve December 31, 2005, 1:43



Canuckmikes
12-31-2005, 03:29 AM
A treatsie by M. Stein, Esq.

1. December 31, 1:43 AM is generally overshadowed by it€s raucous 22-hours-away neighbor. It€s like giving someone a check for $1000 dollars, but showing them Bill Gates€ bank statement first. It just can€t compare. So, my first suggestion to improve December 31, 1:43 AM is to move it to another month. Like November. It€s not a huge move €" at most, 60 days away. But moving away from 01/01 will really let 12/31 shine.

2. Rename it. All the really good days in our calendar have names. Halloween. New Years. National Beat-Up-A-Hobo day. When facing marquee names like these, December 31, 1:43 AM doesn€t stand a chance. Half the reason people get excited for Halloween is because it€s easy to say €œSo. What are you doing for Halloween?€. €œGot any plans for December 31, 1:43 AM€ doesn€t exactly roll off the tongue. Henceforth, December 31, 1:43 AM will be known as €œA*s Kickery Hour€. A*s Kickery Hour is a name that people can really rally around.

3. Associate A*s Kickery Hour with somebody famous. Preferably dead. It€s a travesty that the late John Stamos doesn€t have a remembrance holiday. Yes, I€m well aware that technically, John Stamos isn€t dead. But you and I both know that he died when Jessie and The Rippers stopped being a band.

4. Have a running of the something, to celebrate A*s Kickery Hour. Everybody seems to like the running of the bulls in Spain, even though there€s some moron every year who can€t understand how he got gored in the butt by a bull. Really. Is it that hard to figure out? You were running in front of a d*mned bull. He hit you in the a*s. But I digress€¦

Seeing as Spain has cornered the running-in-front-of-a-horned-animal festivities, A*s Kickery Hour will have to choose a different running. While the running of the noses sounds appealing at first thought, the tissue overhead makes it impractical. Instead, A*s Kickery Hour will be celebrated with the running of the dwarves.

5. Create a special holiday food, that is only prepared around A*s Kickery Hour. Chanukah has latkes. Christmas has eggnog. Thanksgiving day has credit card debt. *** Kickery Hour will have€¦ steak. For the vegetarians, *** Kickery Hour will have€¦ vegetable flavored steak. It is still okay to have steak at other times during the year, but it€ll be renamed €œA*s Kickery Meat€

6. Have A*s Kickery Hour sales, so we can have another excuse to see pictures of somebody€s grandmother getting trampled while rushing to buy a DVD player for $40 at Wal Mart. Because those pictures are so heartwarming, and grandma didn€t really need her hip.

Canuckmikes
12-31-2005, 03:29 AM
A treatsie by M. Stein, Esq.

1. December 31, 1:43 AM is generally overshadowed by it€s raucous 22-hours-away neighbor. It€s like giving someone a check for $1000 dollars, but showing them Bill Gates€ bank statement first. It just can€t compare. So, my first suggestion to improve December 31, 1:43 AM is to move it to another month. Like November. It€s not a huge move €" at most, 60 days away. But moving away from 01/01 will really let 12/31 shine.

2. Rename it. All the really good days in our calendar have names. Halloween. New Years. National Beat-Up-A-Hobo day. When facing marquee names like these, December 31, 1:43 AM doesn€t stand a chance. Half the reason people get excited for Halloween is because it€s easy to say €œSo. What are you doing for Halloween?€. €œGot any plans for December 31, 1:43 AM€ doesn€t exactly roll off the tongue. Henceforth, December 31, 1:43 AM will be known as €œA*s Kickery Hour€. A*s Kickery Hour is a name that people can really rally around.

3. Associate A*s Kickery Hour with somebody famous. Preferably dead. It€s a travesty that the late John Stamos doesn€t have a remembrance holiday. Yes, I€m well aware that technically, John Stamos isn€t dead. But you and I both know that he died when Jessie and The Rippers stopped being a band.

4. Have a running of the something, to celebrate A*s Kickery Hour. Everybody seems to like the running of the bulls in Spain, even though there€s some moron every year who can€t understand how he got gored in the butt by a bull. Really. Is it that hard to figure out? You were running in front of a d*mned bull. He hit you in the a*s. But I digress€¦

Seeing as Spain has cornered the running-in-front-of-a-horned-animal festivities, A*s Kickery Hour will have to choose a different running. While the running of the noses sounds appealing at first thought, the tissue overhead makes it impractical. Instead, A*s Kickery Hour will be celebrated with the running of the dwarves.

5. Create a special holiday food, that is only prepared around A*s Kickery Hour. Chanukah has latkes. Christmas has eggnog. Thanksgiving day has credit card debt. *** Kickery Hour will have€¦ steak. For the vegetarians, *** Kickery Hour will have€¦ vegetable flavored steak. It is still okay to have steak at other times during the year, but it€ll be renamed €œA*s Kickery Meat€

6. Have A*s Kickery Hour sales, so we can have another excuse to see pictures of somebody€s grandmother getting trampled while rushing to buy a DVD player for $40 at Wal Mart. Because those pictures are so heartwarming, and grandma didn€t really need her hip.

TheBadFish
12-31-2005, 08:52 AM
Hahaha.....I think you are on to something Mike! Of course, with a name like Mike.....Superior thinking is always expected. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


TheBadFish(Mike)

theexpozay
12-31-2005, 12:08 PM
The name Mike has always led to good things.

(MikeZ)