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Da_shoota
04-20-2005, 07:59 PM
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at thi ngs on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME ****, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window.

Got this off another forum lol

Da_shoota
04-20-2005, 07:59 PM
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at thi ngs on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME ****, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window.

Got this off another forum lol

Omega_224
04-20-2005, 08:08 PM
ROFL, dude! So funny!

To tell you the truth, I can answer only one question. #6. No, you do not.

BliNd-
04-20-2005, 08:40 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My uncle wore a Frito Lay shirt to Martins Potato Chips, and was ordered to go home and change it. Needless to say, he didn't have that job too long.

quillan
04-20-2005, 09:27 PM
Why do you have a hot water heater in your house, when you don't have to heat hot water?

Why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

Why is there a permanent press setting on an iron?

If a tree falls in the forest, there's no one around, and it lands on a mime, does anyone care?

If the opposite of pro is con, does this mean the opposite of progress is Congress?

Furious_Gopher
04-20-2005, 10:32 PM
Why is it that when you deliver something by Car, it's called a shipment, but when you deliver something by ship, it's called cargo?

SakenX
04-20-2005, 11:58 PM
# Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

# Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?

# Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

pinkcar36
04-21-2005, 10:05 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Da_shoota:
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


some newer fridge's do have lights in the freezer now!!!

Terrax213
04-21-2005, 10:15 AM
LOL Nice find Shoota http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SakenX:
# Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

# Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?

# Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

These are great too http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Tfrogs1
04-21-2005, 11:04 AM
Why is it that what was once known as a spelling error is now called a typo?

If a synchronised swimmer drowns, do the others have to follow?

Why do they force pilots to go through security at airports? Is the pilot going to hold a knife to his own throat and force himself to crash into a building?

What€s the point of a flight landing on time if it takes an hour for your bags to get to baggage claim?

Why is it that when a jazz artist becomes huge, he€s considered a €œsell-out€?

Why is it easier to find stuff on the Internet than on my own computer?

Why do they sterilize the needle before lethal injections?

Why do a lot of people earn 3 times what their parents did and yet have a 1/3 of what they have to show for it?

Nail files are a threat to national security yet forks are still allowed on board.

Why is it that when you search the Web for a right answer, you always get 896-thousand wrong ones?

Da_shoota
04-21-2005, 11:36 AM
ROFL!! Good ones guys! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

That pro and con one was pretty hilarious

XyZspineZyX
04-21-2005, 12:14 PM
OH YEAH! these are good! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
its because the boat washed out to sea on the second episode due to anouther storm... i am such a nerd....

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

yeah, i always wondered what would happen if you died in a nudist colony....

Terrax213
04-21-2005, 12:46 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tfrogs1:

Why do they sterilize the needle before lethal injections?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Well you wouldn't want the guy to go to hell AND be sick, now would you?" - George Carlin

XyZspineZyX
04-21-2005, 01:35 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif SO FUNNY!^^^^

Bob_Bobber0
04-21-2005, 08:23 PM
"If Adam and Eve had Cain and Able, where did the rest of us come from...?"

Furious_Gopher
04-22-2005, 12:43 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bob_Bobber0:
"If Adam and Eve had Cain and Able, where did the rest of us come from...?" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That one doesn't really take much thought

NSAagent
04-22-2005, 01:02 PM
If a synchronised swimmer drowns, do the others have to follow?


if the first one was named David Koresh, yes

Bob_Bobber0
04-23-2005, 01:10 PM
lol goph, what do ya mean?

Tejo.hr
04-23-2005, 01:50 PM
Why do we need to press on START first if we want to TURN OFF Computer?

Leprechaun9
04-23-2005, 04:23 PM
Why is summer suasage eaten at Christmas time?

f16cxv
04-23-2005, 04:29 PM
have you ever noticed that MoH:EA is a convincing copy of Brothers in Arms?

just wondering...http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

silentassasin05
04-23-2005, 04:49 PM
if games on current consoles are getting 10/10, how are next gen games gonna beat them?

The_One34
04-24-2005, 02:43 AM
Good list, saw these on the steam forums :rolllseyes:

Dangerous_388
04-24-2005, 05:09 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by silentassasin05:
if games on current consoles are getting 10/10, how are next gen games gonna beat them? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Next gen games will get 15 out of 15 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

tommy_rascal
04-24-2005, 06:49 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dangerous_388:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by silentassasin05:
if games on current consoles are getting 10/10, how are next gen games gonna beat them? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Next gen games will get 15 out of 15 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

15 out of 15 is the same as 10 out of 10 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

Dangerous_388
04-24-2005, 07:58 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tommy_rascal:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dangerous_388:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by silentassasin05:
if games on current consoles are getting 10/10, how are next gen games gonna beat them? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Next gen games will get 15 out of 15 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

15 out of 15 is the same as 10 out of 10 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It will be 5 more points then 10

Omega_224
04-27-2005, 12:11 PM
But still at the maximum. If you had said they'd get 15 out of 10...

NSAagent
04-27-2005, 12:32 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Dangerous_388:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by tommy_rascal:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Dangerous_388:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by silentassasin05:
if games on current consoles are getting 10/10, how are next gen games gonna beat them? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Next gen games will get 15 out of 15 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

15 out of 15 is the same as 10 out of 10 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

It will be 5 more points then 10 </div></BLOCKQUOTE>i nominate this as the worst sequence of posts ever