Lucky7Seven
01-13-2005, 04:01 PM
THE IMAGE OF RANK
(Lt. Fred C. Langille, Jr.)
A General: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, and gives policy to God.
A Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, and talks to God.
A Lt. Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, and talks to god if a special request is approved.
A Major: Bareley clears Quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, and is occasionally addressed by God.
A Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can doggy-paddle, and talks to animals.
A 1st Lt.: Runs into buildings, reconizes locomotive two times out of three, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed.
A 2nd Lt.: Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the choo-choo," douses himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
A Non-Com:Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, cathes speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. In the Army, he is God!
(Lt. Fred C. Langille, Jr.)
A General: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, and gives policy to God.
A Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, and talks to God.
A Lt. Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, and talks to god if a special request is approved.
A Major: Bareley clears Quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, and is occasionally addressed by God.
A Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can doggy-paddle, and talks to animals.
A 1st Lt.: Runs into buildings, reconizes locomotive two times out of three, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed.
A 2nd Lt.: Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the choo-choo," douses himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
A Non-Com:Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, cathes speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. In the Army, he is God!