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View Full Version : The Stupid Signs of 2003



XyZspineZyX
12-22-2003, 06:04 AM
Number One Idiot of 2003
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
> at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
> upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
> I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
> would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
> calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
> mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
> order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
> daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>
>
> Number Two Idiots of 2003
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
> successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly
> after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
> Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
> chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
> activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
>
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2003
> A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
> downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
> wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
> standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
> to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
> call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
> left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
> Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
> errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him
> that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
> on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
> have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
> of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
> and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
> in line back at Bank of America.
>
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read
> it anyway.
>
>
>
> Number four Idiot of 2003
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
> that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
> later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
> Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph
> of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
> mailed in his $40.
>
> Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth
> thinking about)!
>
>
> Number Five Idiot of 2003
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
> demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
> put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
> wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put
> it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I
> don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the
> clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him.
> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
> and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
> the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The
> robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that
> he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign!
>
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2003
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
> waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When
> his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
>
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2003
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
> decided that he'd just throw a rock through a liquor store
> window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the rock
> and heaved it over his head at the window. The rock
> bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
> him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
> Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
>
>
> Idiot Number Eight of 2003
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
> man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50
> A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him
> down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without
> a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
> they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
> away.
>
> Sign please.


The only easy day is Yesterday
__ Navy Seal Motto__

XBL Gamertag: RoaringMad Mac
<center>
<img src ="http://halo.bungie.net/images/site/halo/desktops/halo2_wallpaper/markvi_640.jpg"width=200height=2>

XyZspineZyX
12-22-2003, 06:04 AM
Number One Idiot of 2003
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
> at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
> upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
> I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
> would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
> calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
> mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
> order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
> daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>
>
> Number Two Idiots of 2003
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
> successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly
> after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
> Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
> chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
> activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
>
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2003
> A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
> downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
> wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
> standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
> to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
> call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
> left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
> Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
> errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him
> that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written
> on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
> have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
> of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
> and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
> in line back at Bank of America.
>
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read
> it anyway.
>
>
>
> Number four Idiot of 2003
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
> that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
> later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
> Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph
> of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
> mailed in his $40.
>
> Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth
> thinking about)!
>
>
> Number Five Idiot of 2003
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
> demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
> put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
> wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put
> it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I
> don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the
> clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him.
> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
> and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
> the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The
> robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that
> he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign!
>
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2003
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
> waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When
> his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
>
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2003
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
> decided that he'd just throw a rock through a liquor store
> window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the rock
> and heaved it over his head at the window. The rock
> bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
> him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
> Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
>
>
> Idiot Number Eight of 2003
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
> man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50
> A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him
> down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without
> a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
> they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
> away.
>
> Sign please.


The only easy day is Yesterday
__ Navy Seal Motto__

XBL Gamertag: RoaringMad Mac
<center>
<img src ="http://halo.bungie.net/images/site/halo/desktops/halo2_wallpaper/markvi_640.jpg"width=200height=2>

XyZspineZyX
12-22-2003, 06:11 AM
LMAO!!!!! /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif ppl are stupid

<center><font face=times>"Since I started working, every single day has been worse than the day before, so that every day you see me is the worst day of my life."
</center><center>http://winsk.8k.com/as.jpg </center><center>"An idiot is like a slinky, they're good for nothing but fun to watch fall down the stairs."[/b]</center>
<center><font face=times color=#FF0000>Shylock for The Family
Expert Assassin/Spy for the Gangsta Coalition
Engineer in Fist Alpha Platoon
Wandering Ronin from Drem's Infamous Mafia
</font>